great to hear you got a newt.
the ir port can not be used to transfer unless you have some software on your newt first... i think xport does it but i dont know, never tried. so you will need to use a mac with a serial port.
a note about power adaptors, its worth getting a genuine newton adaptor, they should not be too expensive on ebay now, and they are smaller and the exact ratings for the newt.
now as for the compact flash card issue... this has been an issue for a long time. as newton uses linear type flash cards, anything ata cant be used. all flash cards these days are ata. but. Paul Guyot the best developer ever, has made an ata driver for newton, and it is in its late bata stages. you can find it at
www.kallisys.com along with some other software he makes.
oh yea, if you didnt know yet, you can get wavelan card drivers for newton... 802.11. whee.