AOE II for mac can only play with other macs. So you have to use gameranger to find someone to destroy in a friendly match...
As for the crashing in OS X.1.2 I had the same trouble. Try logging in as the root user. This will worked for me, and leads me to believe that the game requires unusual access priveleges...
To login as the root user, you will need a root user password. First try this at the login screen:
login name: root
login password: the password for an administrator's account (if you are the owner of the computer, this will be your everyday password for login)
it this does not work, you will have to create your root password using netinfo. In X.1.2 open netinfo in Applications/Utilities and click the padlock, type in your admistrator's password, and then choose from the menu Domain-Security-Change Root User password...
Be careful as the root user, you have unlimited acess, so you can move and delete any file on your computer, as one used to be able to do in OS 9. This is bad, cus UNIX uses a lot of path specific file finding... and the modification of anything in the system directory will pretty much guarentee a bug in your OS. Upside is you can spy on your other users, see what they have been using your computer for!!!
Anyways, I got sick of having to log in as a root user to use this, so I decided to mess with the acess priveleges... anyways, be very careful when you do this, I totally messed up X so I could no longer run the classic environment. So I had to reinstall, and now my system has a gazillion bugs that I am still weeding out... ICQ is messed, Explorer is missing plugins, SETI won't launch at the login screen, DVD player crashes alot, my modem is giving me errors that don't let me connect, and a host of other feces...
But the good news is that for some reason AOE II now works without me having to login in as a root user!!!