well i think i narrowed the problem down.
it looks like airport might have something to do with it. I transfered all the files that i wanted to upload to a laptop that is connected via ethernet instead of wireless. And that one is uploading away with ZERO problems.
its hard to explain, but when i try to upload all those files to my web site my airport hiccups. And that is how the connection is lost.
this is a quick fix for now, but i would hate to have to transfer files to the laptop every-time i want to upload files to my web site.