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I've searched for it but couldn't find exactly how
here's how i've been doing it: I take an icon, press command-i, copy the icon and past it into ichat (for my own icon). But it looks sh*tty. there must be a better way...
or set it as your user icon in Panther and it'll automatically show up as one option in the ichat icon menu (what appears when you click on the icon at the top of the buddy list)