Its kind of funny phobos. I like about half of the work you do, don't like the other half. Its seriously 50/50. This isn't meant to be offensive, the half I do like I *really* like. This book is a good example. Every other page I'm like "ooh thats nice" but then every other page I'm also like "eeekk what is he doing?"
You are right. The typography needs(needed) some serious help. Everyone knows I'm all about distressed type, but running overlapping type with a negative leading is a science. You have to be careful that your ascenders aren't running into the dots on your "i's", and that your commas aren't getting lost in the crosses on your "T's", etc etc etc. its an endless list of little things that you have to be very careful of when you are doing it. Second of all Futura is the wrong typeface for that kind of treatment. Futura needs space, its very rounded and open and geometric, and when its that compressed it becomes very unreadable. A different typeface choice would have gone a long way. I do like the simplicity of your type-only pages, but I think you could have used the negative space a bit more, especially on your titling.
Your photoshop and 3d work is pretty top notch, though the overlayed motion blur effect becomes a bit tiring after a while, it would have been nice to see. An illustrator buddy of mine (
http://home.earthlink.net/~mmontenat/ ugly site, he aint no designer, obviously
) and I went over it page by page last night. Heres a loose breakdown of what we said:
Page 4 (eyes): cool image, the motion blur is a bit over the top, we thought a soft focus might have been more effective, its begging for some type to get laid in there, it feels a bit empty, cool image nonetheless.
Page 6: purple guy: Cool type treatment, but the figure just aint happening, his proportions are way off, and he feels very ridged. Great photoshop work on the background though.
Page 7: lightbulb 1 (of 12?
) We both love the lightbulb. its very well done. I thought the page was probably one of the best in the book. It has the same problem as page 4 though, its begging for some kind of minimalist, but distressed type treatment on that left page.
Page 9: fantastic.
Page 11: good job, though the figures again feel very ridged, and the bar stools don't *quite* look like they are sitting on the ground. The snowflaky white sphere effect is really nice though. Composition could be better.
Page 13 cool colors, cool spread, but the cardboard box ruins it, its over processed and just isn't believeable.
Page 14 - the bulb is cool, but as a spread it is a bit weak.
Page 16 is fantastic. amazing. the negative space on the left side tracing the curve of her hip is the most beautiful nuance in this book.
Page 18: ugh that face needs work, big time. 3D rendered faces are very hard. I think you should have obscured the face more to cover it up. nice texture though.
page 20: uck. the background is cool, but the tray is misproportionate to the girl, the facial features are misproportionate, and something about the lightsource is bugging the hell out of me. Motion blur overlay continues to be over used.
Page 21 Bulb cool. Same bulb shot over and over and over makes it lose its coolness.
Page 23: ahhh floaty ashtray of death! This panel, thank god doesn't have the overlayed motion blur. It has a cool handwriting texture, the hand is well done, but the rest feels very rushed. I can't tell if the cigarette is a smoke or a piece of chalk, its not proportional with the ashtray, its too thick, and its not lit. it also doesn't appear to have a filter.
Page 25 I don't really like inverses but this works pretty nicely.
Page 27 fees pretty cool over all. I like the right side especially.
Page 29. Meh... not one of my favorite pages. its a cool color scheme, but the pattern on the right, and the not so hot figures just aren't working for me.
Page 30. great job on the side of the head, great job on the door. the rest feels a little rushed. the halos around the edges of some of the stairs look accidental instead of on purpose.
Page 31 broke bulb = cool, I wish you rendered it from another angle though, this is beginning to look like you just ran different photoshop effects on the same image, which feels a little half ass to me.
Pages 32-33 both are cool I guess, nice effects, not the mindblowingly great ending I was hoping for I guess.
Again, its 50/50 hit or miss. My buddy actually said the same thing. Everyone has some bad pieces, but I think you have either been rushing some of those pages, or have been working on them too long and hit a point where you were just going through the motions. Overall its a good book, but I think it could be great. how is it bound? Oh, and if you are getting a BA in design, you may want to take a few more type classes, to really be able to develop your type more, which is the weakest point in the book, and one of the more important aspects of design, your MAJOR after all.
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