[phobos]

Here is an ad I made for the motorola talkabout 191.
It's a contest that motorola has organised.If it's good enough it'll be published and win some money.
I'm very dissapointed about this ad.(I think it's butt ugly)
So tell me your opinion on how to make it bette.I have to show the ad tommorow.






Thanks in advance

[Too Much Coffee Woman]

The type in this design doesn't match well with the outrageous graphics in the illustration....

try tilting the type or breaking it so that it's just as exciting as the illustration...

I assume this is a purely graphical ad with not too much concept...so i would say, get rid of the red pixel-looking things. you don't need any distortion competing with the illustration.

Color wise....try to make the headline, a color more dominant in the illustration. the orange is just too obscure, i think the blue from the phone would do much better and help anchor the design more.

the "smudge" over the phones diagrams on the bottom is very 80s to me. try just filling it in with those colors instead.

that's what i would do....it's your design, so good luck with that

[jonjonjonjon]

I agree with Too Much Coffee Woman , but I actually like the orange for the headline and feel that the letterforms are a welcome contrast to the explosion of the illustration.

I would also remove the grey pixel thing under the motorola logo at the bottom. I think the second design already looks great, just without the pixel BG and fill the phones rather than paint them... the paint does look dated and doesn't match the rest of the design.

When in design trouble, it helps to remove unneccesary elements and put them back one by one to single out what is and what isn't working.

Hope I'm able to help.

Good luck!

[godzookie2k]

nnnnooooooooooooooooo Random 3D invigorated™ pixelshapes AAAAAHHHHHH.

sorry. you know my opinion on those things from the last thread so I'll skip the rant. Second version is better, the top version is more cluttered than my car's glove compartment. I think the random pixel shapes (I mean the 3D blocks annnnnd sattellite looking things in this case not the lines/sharp things in the background) are unnecessary too. Greyed out pixel background adds some much needed texture, but I think it could be something 'non computery' (if that makes sense) and still fit in the illustration fine. Type.... I dunno where what or....I dunno whats goin on there. It needs serious help. I think that the illustration, being as visually engaging as it is lends itself to type that just melts in with it. You don't want to risk type/image competition by making your type stand out *too* much. I think the color is ok, maybe tighten up the kerning and make it a bit larger. <sarcasm> maybe you should make it in 3D pixel fonts or 50% grey helvetica </sarcasm> j/k Maybe throw an outline around it (the type) to kind of separate it a bit from the image. Maybe it just needs a more attractive typeface? (like critter or something)</more sarcasm>


gud luq.

[ 04-03-2002: Message edited by: godzookie2k ]

[godzookie2k]

are those old school 80's smudges (as TMCW put it ) signs of a PS 7 new watercolor toll perchance? tisk tisk beta software. I don't mind them (80's color smudges™) but they don't fit too well in the illustration IMO. Colorizationism on the phones in a lighter opacity might work better. Also, on opacity, don't make your type transparent, with all thats going on its hard enough to read as it is. transparent type bad. (IMO)

[MikeM32]

I have to disagee with too muuch coffee woman a bit. the placement of the Type is appropriate for this advertisement. In both examples I'm really not too "annoyed" with the way the type and the logos are integrated into the page. I even like the 3 phones in the lower left corner. It provides the balance that a layout with type should have.

Having worked with type most of my career I know that you "can" do all sorts of crazy things with it, but in the end does the message you're trying to convey come accross to the viewer? If you get "too crazy" with type it may not. So keeping the type in a very straight-forward/easy to read manner is really best. Any professional typographer will tell you the same. Sadly there aren't many pro-typographers left since the days of linotypes and lead type. My mentor was one of the last from those days.

While I appreciate the amount of work you must have put into the illustration, I have to admit that's where I'm having a problem. I'm not sure what you're trying to get accross with the large yellow pointy shapes behind the big phone. It looks too much like a technical drawing or schematic for some reason. It's just real noisy IMHO.

Most ads you see of this nature will integrate an actual photograph of the product. Maybe that's the route you want to go with the "big" phone. I do think you're on the right track. I'd just love to see more variations of the main illustration or image of the phone. I aldo think the actual phone illustration is excellent, but those pointy shapes behind it just disturb me for some reason. There's also a little too much contrasting color, which I think is what too much coffee woman said as well.

Just my 2¢

Mike

[phobos]

The concept behind the pointy lines on the background is to give a sor of explosion.Things pop out of the cell phone.Here you can see only the tetris bits but I have some small thing also added.A message icon a smiley and another game I can't remember.
As godzookie succesfuly said the gray background is pretty much needed for
detail and added contrast.On the final version the quantity of the pixelated things (!) is somewhere between the two.
I'll post the final version as soon as possible.
The project has been showed and now the only thing I have to do is wait for the results.For me this is the best part cause I don't have to do anything
Thanks for you answers and I'll repost the final version shortly.
If you have any more comments I would be happy to hear them.

[kulverse]

I was thinking that I like this piece a lot, but something was bothering me about it. I just realized what that "something" was. To me, this looks like a great poster for an expo or event or something, but not so much an advertisement. I not reffering to the content itself, but the general look/feel of the piece. I still say Bravo to this though. i like it alot (except for the 3D Tetris blocks )

[Too Much Coffee Woman]

mike,

i thought the type was acceptable the way it was but since it's already crazy....go all out and make it super crazy.

crazy is not going to get you awards...super crazy will though.

(either awards or super laughed at
)

[andi*pandi]

Well, I don't mind the funky exploding geometric background, but since as gadzookie mentioned, you've used it before, you may want to try expanding into different styles. I think the tetris cubes and widgets don't contribute, since they don't make sense. If you post your version with more relevant flying icons (to phones) maybe I'll revise my opinion.

I also think, that for an ad about a technical product, there isn't any text. Sparse text works well for clothing, jewelry, etc, where the photo sells more than anything, but for technical gadgets, folks want tech specs. What can I do? Why is it better? that kind of thing.

Even if your instructor/contest rules didn't give text with the contest, it's always good to think beyond the box about how to make something even better than the client requested. Even if you make up text, that will jog their mind to say, "oh yeah, text is a good idea!"

Usually.

[phobos]

Wow andi pandi you are terribly right.
I haven't thought about the text idea.The brief didn't mention anything about text so I guess I had my self persuaded not to put any!!!!
The absence of text is definetely wrong.F@*K.
What was I thinking??????????
O.k phobos say bye bye to the grand prize....