[Lerkfish]

my pain in the neck...no, really...

after several months dealing with the pain, I had an MRI and talked with the neurosurgeon this morning.

His wonderful news: "you are a time bomb. If both you and I fell to the ground right now, I'd get back up again. You'd be paralyzed."

on September 19 I'll be out for a month getting two disks removed in my neck, fusing three vertebra together, grafting in corpse bone, and slapping it together with metal plating screwed into my neck. what joy, what bliss.

Unfortunately, my spinal cord is deteriorating. fluid is leaking into the cord itself, where it doesn' belong. At least, hey, I wasn't exaggerating when I kept telling everyone I had a pain in the neck.

at any rate, this is to let you guys know I will probably be out of contact at any given time sporadically around that time.

Right now, I just hope my G5 gets here before then so I can have it set before they install the Frankenstein bolts.

[rjenkinson]

corpse bone?!

-r.

[wolfen]

Sorry to hear that Lerkfish. Really I am.

Because I'm pretty sure they're going to have a nightmare with my neck, as well. Any Dr. who's looked at it (many) has refused to discuss it with me. I ask and I ask...and they avoid and avoid. "Well, you know...let's talk about the weather! Beautiful lately, huh?"

They just show the X-rays around the office, smile politely, and say "Yes, well...let us know when it becomes a problem."

...so we can take you out back and shoot you.


Good luck in your recovery, man.


wolfen

[OldManMac]

Best of luck in your surgery and recovery!

[Face Ache]

Wow Lerk you've sure had your run of bad luck. Go and buy a lottery ticket or two. See if you can restore some balance to the universe.

Good luck with your operation. Corpse bone huh? Do you get to pick your corpse or is it off the rack?

[AKcrab]

What's the long term prognosis?
Good luck with the surgery!

[rjenkinson]

i'll say it again... corpse bone!??!

-r.

[Cipher13]

Damn, sorry to hear that Lerk... but how many people can say they've got corpse bone in 'em?

Seriously, you'll pull through okay - you'll be missed until then.

Good luck.

[cjrivera]

Originally posted by rjenkinson:
i'll say it again... corpse bone!??!

-r.

They are also called cadaver allografts.

Sounds a little better than corpse (but not by much...)

Sorry to hear about your problem, Lerk.

Good luck with the surgery!

[cjrivera]

Originally posted by Cipher13:
... but how many people can say they've got corpse bone in 'em?

maybe a necrophiliac?

[wataru]

Maybe the corpse bone will give you super powers or something. Just cross your fingers.

Seriously, though, good luck.

[11011001]

First, man, Lerkfish that sucks. But at least the pain will go away.. right? I certainly hope everything goes well. Hmm, my sister had back surgery when I was little.. they stuck metal rods in her back.. quite serious. It took her a long time to recover.. if this bears some resemblance it sounds like this will really suck for a while. But hey! My sister did get better, and so will you.

Originally posted by Cipher13:
Damn, sorry to hear that Lerk... but how many people can say they've got corpse bone in 'em?

In a way that corpse will keep living. (Does the bone die? or is it kept alive or what?). On a somewhat related note, there is a woman long dead who still has some liver cells growing away in a petri dish.. talk about immortality.

Hmm, I find the term cadaver more disturbing then corpse though.

[sniffer]

Take it easy Lerk. Best of luck.

[Spheric Harlot]

All the best.

[voodoo]

All the best Lerkfish. I hope you pull through.

[Lerkfish]

Originally posted by wataru:
Maybe the corpse bone will give you super powers or something.

LOL! thanks, I needed a laugh right now.
That did it.

I'm going to be relatively ok when this is over with, supposedly. I'll just lose mobility in my neck, which I don't really have right now anyways. (I can't turn my head to either side without pain).

It'll be a good thing because I've been in pretty bad pain for several months now, I finally gave up and went to the doc when my left arm started going numb. Actually, I'm already better because he gave me some decent pain pills. I was shoveling down advil like candy, which besides not really cutting the pain, was upsetting my stomach.

but, OY, don't want to sound like my elderly aunt who complained about health problems all the time.

Re: corpse bone: yeah, my doctor used "cadaver" but that sounded even creepier to me.

Yesterday I explained it to Grok, my 4.5 year old son. I drew diagrams and everything, which he took in quietly. The main really, really, bad thing is I can not lift him up in my arms right now...something I used to do when I got home...sigh....


thanks for the well wishes. I'll need them on September 19 when I go under the knife.



anywho....enough about me. How about those Chicago Cubs, eh?.....

[Spheric Harlot]

Originally posted by Lerkfish:
Yesterday I explained it to Grok, my 4.5 year old son.

You have a son named "Grok"?

And a daughter named "Thag", right?

-s*

[DBursey]

Originally posted by rjenkinson:
i'll say it again... corpse bone!??!

-r.

It's medical magic I say. Abra-cadaver!

Good luck, Lerk. Best wishes for a speedy recovery!

[Lerkfish]

Originally posted by Spheric Harlot:
You have a son named "Grok"?

And a daughter named "Thag", right?

-s*

I promised my wife never to use my son's actual name on the internet.

I had a contest before he was born in gaming fan group I belonged to...the winning entry was "Grok the Uncleansed".

[Lerkfish]

Originally posted by DBursey:
It's medical magic I say. Abra-cadaver!

Good luck, Lerk. Best wishes for a speedy recovery!

[Millennium]

I'm sorry to hear that you'll be needing this, but it's good to hear that something can be done. Best of luck.

And see if you can get a pic of The Holy Corpse Bone before they put it into you

[maxelson]

Oooo! Oooo! WHat was that movie where the protagonist got some serial killer's body part and then started having dreams like HE was the serial killer and all and all that and then it really started mucking with his head and...
Damn. I REALLY hope you get yourself a chunk of... I dunno... someone cool and happy. Perhaps someone with smoove groove.

At any rate- good vibes on your procedure, Lerk.

[andi*pandi]

Good luck Lerk--when your neck pain is better you can try doing something about all the pains in the ass that live here...

[philzilla]

Originally posted by maxelson:
Oooo! Oooo! WHat was that movie where the protagonist got some serial killer's body part and then started having dreams like HE was the serial killer and all and all that and then it really started mucking with his head and...

i think i know that movie, but i can't remember the title. grr.

i'm wondering if lerk gets to keep the bits they whip out?

[wolfen]

Yeah, they say that happens sometimes. I heard of a case where someone got eyes donated from someone. They started eating cheese doodles like mad. It was weird. They never ate them much before.

Turns out the former owner of the eyes LOVED cheese doodles. There was another thing, too, but I don't remember.


wolfen

[philzilla]

Originally posted by wolfen:
There was another thing, too, but I don't remember.

The Adverts - Gary Gilmore's Eyes

I´m lying in a hosptal
I´m pinned against the bed
A stethoscope upon my heart
A hand against my head
They´re peeling off the bandages
I´m wincing in the light
The nurse is looking anxious
And she´s quivering in fright

I´m looking through
Gary Gilmore´s eyes

The doctors are avoiding me
My vision is confused
I listen to my earphones
And I catch the evening news
A murderer´s been killed
And he donates his sight to science
I´m locked into a private ward
I realise that I must be

Looking through
Gary Gilmore´s eyes

I smash the light in anger
Push my bed against the door
I close my lids across the eyes
And wish to see no more
The eye receives the messages
And sends them to the brain
No guarantee the stimuli
Must be perceived the same

When looking
through Gary Gilmore´s eyes

Gary don´t need his eyes to see
Gary and his eyes have parted company

[mydog8mymac]

Best of luck and a speedy recovery.

Maybe we'll just call you "Stiffy".

[chris v]

Originally posted by DBursey:
It's medical magic I say. Abra-cadaver!

Abra? Just make sure it's not "Abby" for short.

"Abby? Abby who?!?"

CV

[Spheric Harlot]

...and watch out for them cheese noodles.

-s*

[maxelson]

Abby Normal.
I like cheese.

[lil'babykitten]

Best of luck Lerkfish. What's going to happen back in the Politics lounge when your away?! Can you set up some type of automated response every now and then?!

[DBursey]

Abby? Abby who?!? ... Abby Normal!

I'm pretty sure that was the name!

Methinks we need a frankensteinian thread.

[thunderous_funker]

Ouch. Sounds painful. Hope the surgery goes super smooth and you enjoy a quick and painless recovery.

Just think of all the fabulous double and triple takes you will be able to perform with your new, shiny, bionic neck when its all done with!!

[Lerkfish]

I'm kinda bummed out by my last conversation with the doctor. I had a list of questions and I didn't like all of the answers.

The damage to my spinal cord is not reparable. I sort of dreaded that might be true, but its a bit chilling to have that confirmed. There's no guarantee even the peripheral problems, the numbness in my arm and problems with my leg, will heal.

Basically, this operation is not to fix things that are already broken, but to prevent further damage.

I guess in the back of my mind I considered that possiblity, but now that its confirmed...well, I'm sort of melancholy about it.

I'm also concerned about surgery risks...I have the best doctor available, but still, things can happen on the operating table...like paralysis or lights out. I worry (for a lot of obvious reasons) but mainly because of my son.

Its making it hard for me to sleep at the moment, and I still have a month to wait for the surgery. I kind of wish it could happen sooner, so it could be over with.

---sigh--- oh well, just wanted to get that off my chest.

[Spheric Harlot]

I hear you.

[Timo]

Lerk, the 19th is my birthday. I'm optimistic we'll both have a good day then, and we'll both hurt on the the 20th.

We'll be thinking about you.

T

[Lerkfish]

Originally posted by Timo:
Lerk, the 19th is my birthday. I'm optimistic we'll both have a good day then, and we'll both hurt on the the 20th.

We'll be thinking about you.

T

oh, they changed the operation date to the 23. But anyways, thanks for your thoughts.

[Timo]

Originally posted by Lerkfish:
oh, they changed the operation date to the 23. But anyways, thanks for your thoughts.

Pas probleme, Lerk, I'll still be hung over. I'll do that for you.

[daimoni]

.

[Zimphire]

See, it wasn't me after all.

[Powaqqatsi]

I hope that all goes well Lerk . I would be scared to death, the thought of operations that have to do with spinal cords and brains and stuff creeps me out .

My thoughts will be with you. The best of luck.

[Lerkfish]

Originally posted by daimoni:
Ah, just read the thread. I've avoided it until now because I already knew you were a pain in the neck.

LOL! too true.

[Lerkfish]

well, the operation is tuesday. I went to preadmission testing today and viewed a computer slideshow about the risks and benefits of the operation.
I laughed out loud-- the art looked like someone in third grade drew it.
he might be a great surgeon, but he uses LOUSY ART! how can I trust someone that uses lousy art!?

seriously, I'll probably not be online much from this point on until after I recover. too much last minute stuff.

If you don't hear back from me by say, Oct. 1, you can start to worry.

[kvm_mkdb]

All the best Lerk. Take care of yourself (and if you can't, make them take damn good care of you).

[vod[k]a]

Having read this thread, the words "doctor" and "who" came up a few times, sometimes even right next to each other in their respective order, so I feel justified in posting this vaguely appropriate, yet undeniably pejorative inline picture of Dr. Who, which has been carefully selected so as not to be too large for people with dial up modems who will undoubtedly use up a great deal of bandwidth downloading this frivolously long run on sentence.

[Face Ache]

That's not the real Dr. Who. It's an imposter.

Good luck Lerk. My best mate was due to have an accoustic neuroma the size of a golf ball removed from the centre of his brain on Monday (his third operation date), but they found his father-in-law dead last Sunday and the funeral is Monday too. They don't want his Mrs going from the cemetary to ICU so he's postponed the operation again (the last two times it was the surgeon doing the postponing).

Poor old Dennis. He'd been dead for four days before they found him. He'd turned black. Ewww.

Anyway, while spinal surgery is gruesome to watch it generally goes well, so we'll be hearing from you soon yeah? (don't nod ).

[Spheric Harlot]

Sir:

all the best, and a swift recovery.

And I presume you won't be going online in the future without one of these:


Right?



-s*

[Timo]

Originally posted by Lerkfish:
If you don't hear back from me by say, Oct. 1, you can start to worry.

i don't think i can manage to be hung over until such a late date, so hurry back, and best of luck.

[Lerkfish]

hehe...thanks guys. I needed a laugh.

[wolfen]

Good luck, Lerk. If you'll be offline for any length of time please have someone post your status in here, ok? Have them tell us how things went and what's going on...Can you do that?

wolfen