[wtf_reportar]

Last Words, death bed statements . . .

Thomas Jefferson--still survives...
~~ John Adams, US President, d. July 4, 1826
(Actually, Jefferson had died earlier that same day.)

This is the last of earth! I am content.
~~ John Quincy Adams, US President, d. February 21, 1848

See in what peace a Christian can die.
~~ Joseph Addison, writer, d. June 17, 1719

Is it not meningitis?
~~ Louisa M. Alcott, writer, d. 1888

Waiting are they? Waiting are they? Well--let 'em wait.
In response to an attending doctor who attempted to comfort him by saying, "General, I fear the angels are waiting for you."
~~ Ethan Allen, American Revolutionary general, d. 1789

Am I dying or is this my birthday?
When she woke briefly during her last illness and found all her family around her bedside.
~~ Lady Nancy Astor, d. 1964

Nothing, but death.
When asked by her sister, Cassandra, if there was anything she wanted.
~~ Jane Austen, writer, d. July 18, 1817

Codeine . . . bourbon.
~~ Tallulah Bankhead, actress, d. December 12, 1968

How were the receipts today at Madison Square Garden?
~~ P. T. Barnum, entrepreneur, d. 1891

I can't sleep.
~~ James M. Barrie, author, d. 1937

Is everybody happy? I want everybody to be happy. I know I'm happy.
~~ Ethel Barrymore, actress, d. June 18, 1959

Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
~~ John Barrymore, actor, d. May 29, 1942

I am ready to die for my Lord, that in my blood the Church may obtain liberty and peace.
~~ Thomas à Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury, d.1170

Now comes the mystery.
~~ Henry Ward Beecher, evangelist, d. March 8, 1887

Friends applaud, the comedy is finished.
~~ Ludwig van Beethoven, composer, d. March 26, 1827

I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
~~ Humphrey Bogart, actor, d. January 14, 1957

Josephine...
~~ Napoleon Bonaparte, French Emperor, May 5, 1821

I am about to -- or I am going to -- die: either expression is correct.
~~ Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, d. 1702

Ah, that tastes nice. Thank you.
~~ Johannes Brahms, composer, d. April 3, 1897

Oh, I am not going to die, am I? He will not separate us, we have been so happy.
Spoken to her husband of 9 months, Rev. Arthur Nicholls.
~~ Charlotte Bronte, writer, d. March 31, 1855

Beautiful.
In reply to her husband who had asked how she felt.
~~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning, writer, d. June 28, 1861

Now I shall go to sleep. Goodnight.
~~ Lord George Byron, writer, d. 1824

Et tu, Brute?
Assassinated.
~~ Gaius Julius Caesar, Roman Emperor, d. 44 BC

I am still alive!
Stabbed to death by his own guards - (as reported by Roman historian Tacitus)
~~ Gaius Caligula, Roman Emperor, d.41 AD

Don't let poor Nelly (his mistress, Nell Gwynne) starve.
~~ Charles II, King of England and Scotland, d. 1685

Ay Jesus.
~~ Charles V, King of France, d. 1380

I am dying. I haven't drunk champagne for a long time.
~~ Anton Pavlovich Chekhov, writer, d. July 1, 1904

The earth is suffocating . . . Swear to make them cut me open, so that I won't be buried alive.
Dying of tuberculosis.
~~ Frederic Chopin, composer, d. October 16, 1849

I'm bored with it all.
Before slipping into a coma. He died 9 days later.
~~ Winston Churchill, statesman, d. January 24, 1965

This time it will be a long one.
~~ Georges Clemenceau, French premier, d. 1929

I have tried so hard to do the right.
~~ Grover Cleveland, US President, d. 1908

That was the best ice-cream soda I ever tasted.
~~ Lou Costello, comedian, d. March 3, 1959

Goodnight my darlings, I'll see you tomorrow.
~~ Noel Coward, writer, d. 1973

Damn it . . . Don't you dare ask God to help me.
To her housekeeper, who had begun to pray aloud.
~~ Joan Crawford, actress, d. May 10, 1977

That was a great game of golf, fellers.
~~ Harry Lillis "Bing" Crosby, singer / actor, d. October 14, 1977

I am not the least afraid to die.
~~ Charles Darwin, d. April 19, 1882

My God. What's happened?
~~ Diana (Spencer), Princess of Wales, d. August 31, 1997

I must go in, the fog is rising.
~~ Emily Dickinson, poet, d. 1886

Do you hear the rain? Do you hear the rain?
Minutes before her plane crashed.
~~ Jessica Dubroff, seven-year-old pilot, d. 1996

Adieu, mes amis. Je vais la gloire.
(Farewell, my friends! I go to glory!)
~~ Isadora Duncan, dancer, d. 1927

Please know that I am quite aware of the hazards. Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others.
Last letter to her husband before her last flight.
KHAQQ calling Itasca. We must be on you, but cannot see you. Gas is running low.
Last radio communiqué before her disappearance.
~~ Amelia Earhart, d. 1937

It is very beautiful over there.
~~ Thomas Alva Edison, inventor, d. October 18, 1931

No, I shall not give in. I shall go on. I shall work to the end.
~~ Edward VII, King of Britain, d. 1910

All my possessions for a moment of time.
~~ Elizabeth I, Queen of England, d. 1603

I've never felt better.
~~ Douglas Fairbanks, Sr., actor, d. December 12, 1939

I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring.
~~ Richard Feynman, physicist, d. 1988

I've had a hell of a lot of fun and I've enjoyed every minute of it.
~~ Errol Flynn, actor, d. October 14, 1959

A dying man can do nothing easy.
~~ Benjamin Franklin, statesman, d. April 17, 1790

Come my little one, and give me your hand.
Spoken to his daughter, Ottilie.
~~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, writer, d. March 22, 1832

I know you have come to kill me. Shoot coward, you are only going to kill a man.
Facing his assassin, Mario Teran, a Bolivian soldier.
~~ Ernesto "Che" Guevara, d. October 9, 1967

Yes, it's tough, but not as tough as doing comedy.
When asked if he thought dying was tough.
~~ Edmund Gwenn, actor, d. September 6, 1959

God will pardon me, that's his line of work.
~~ Heinrich Heine, poet, d. February 15, 1856

Turn up the lights, I don't want to go home in the dark.
~~ O. Henry (William Sidney Porter), writer, d. June 4, 1910

All is lost. Monks, monks, monks!
~~ Henry VIII, King of England, d. 1547

I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap in the dark.
~~ Thomas Hobbes, writer, d. 1679

I see black light.
~~ Victor Hugo, writer, d. May 22, 1885

Oh, do not cry - be good children and we will all meet in heaven.
~~ Andrew Jackson, US President, d. 1845

Let us cross over the river and sit in the shade of the trees.
Killed in error by his own troops at the battle of Chancellorsville during the US Civil War.
~~ General Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson, d. 1863

Is it the Fourth?
~~ Thomas Jefferson, US President, d. July 4, 1826

Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit.
From Luke 23:46
~~ Jesus Christ

Does nobody understand?
~~ James Joyce, writer, d. 1941

Why not? Yeah.
~~ Timothy Leary, d. May 31, 1996

Now I have finished with all earthly business, and high time too. Yes, yes, my dear child, now comes death.
~~ Franz Leher, composer, d. October 24, 1948

A King should die standing.
~~ Louis XVIII, King of France, d. 1824

Why do you weep. Did you think I was immortal?
~~ Louis XIV, King of France, d. 1715

I am a Queen, but I have not the power to move my arms.
~~ Louise, Queen of Prussia, d. 1820

Too late for fruit, too soon for flowers.
~~ Walter De La Mare, writer, d. 1956

Let's cool it brothers . . .
Spoken to his assassins, 3 men who shot him 16 times.
~~ Malcolm X, Black leader, d. 1966

Go on, get out - last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
To his housekeeper, who urged him to tell her his last words so she could write them down for posterity.
~~ Karl Marx, revolutionary, d. 1883

I forgive everybody. I pray that everybody may also forgive me, and my blood which is about to be shed will bring peace to Mexico. Long live Mexico! Long Live Independence!
~~ Maximilian, Emperor of Mexico, (Archduke Maximilian of Austria), d. June 11, 1867

Nothing matters. Nothing matters.
~~ Louis B. Mayer, film producer, d. October 29, 1957

It's all been very interesting.
~~ Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, writer, d. 1762

I knew it. I knew it. Born in a hotel room - and God damn it - died in a hotel room.
~~ Eugene O'Neill, writer, d. November 27, 1953

Good-bye . . . why am I hemorrhaging?
~~ Boris Pasternak, writer, d. 1959

Get my swan costume ready.
~~ Anna Pavlova, ballerina, d. 1931

I am curious to see what happens in the next world to one who dies unshriven.
Giving his reasons for refusing to see a priest as he lay dying.
~~ Pietro Perugino, Italian painter, d. 1523

Lord help my poor soul.
~~ Edgar Allan Poe, writer, d. October 7, 1849

I love you Sarah. For all eternity, I love you.
Spoken to his wife.
~~ James K. Polk, US President, d. 1849

Here am I, dying of a hundred good symptoms.
~~ Alexander Pope, writer, d. May 30, 1744

I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.
~~ François Rabelais, writer, d. 1553

I have a terrific headache.
He died of a cerebral hemorrhage.
~~ Franklin Delano Roosevelt, US President, d. 1945

Put out the light.
~~ Theodore Roosevelt, US President, d. 1919

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist. . . .
Killed in battle during US Civil War.
~~ General John Sedgwick, Union Commander, d. 1864

Sister, you're trying to keep me alive as an old curiosity, but I'm done, I'm finished, I'm going to die.
Spoken to his nurse.
~~ George Bernard Shaw, playwright, d. November 2, 1950

I've had eighteen straight whiskies, I think that's the record . . .
~~ Dylan Thomas, poet, d. 1953

Moose . . . Indian . . .
~~ Henry David Thoreau, writer, d. May 6, 1862

God bless... God damn.
~~ James Thurber, humorist, d. 1961

I feel here that this time they have succeeded.
~~ Leon Trotsky, Russian revolutionary, d. 1940

Don't worry chief, it will be alright.
~~ Rudolph Valentino, actor, d. August 23, 1926

Woe is me. Me thinks I'm turning into a god.
~~ Vespasian, Roman Emperor, d. 79 AD

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
~~ Pancho Villa, Mexican revolutionary, d. 1923

I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have.
~~ Leonardo da Vinci, artist, d. 1519

I die hard but am not afraid to go.
~~ George Washington, US President, d. December 14, 1799

Go away. I'm all right.
~~ H. G. Wells, novelist, d. 1946

Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.
~~ Oscar Wilde, writer, d. November 30, 1900

I am ready.
~~ Woodrow Wilson, US President, d. 1924

Curtain! Fast music! Light! Ready for the last finale! Great! The show looks good, the show looks good!
~~ Florenz Ziegfeld, showman, d. July 22, 1932

-----
what would yours be?

[zen jihad]

Eli, Eli, Lamah Sabachtani - Jesus Christ

[Lateralus]

Thanks everyone at MacNN for some memorable times. It's been a fun three years! - gorickey, August 25th 2004

[scaught]

nice post there. i read through em all.

this ones pretty good:

I knew it. I knew it. Born in a hotel room - and God damn it - died in a hotel room.
~~ Eugene O'Neill, writer, d. November 27, 1953


heh.

[cszar2001]

I'll get a world record for this.
Let me reach in and get your watch out of the printing press.
Hey there's no handles inside these car doors.
Gee, that's a cute tattoo.
Here's my Kent State student ID.
It's fireproof.
He's probably just hibernating.
What does this button do?
I'm making a citizen's arrest.
Can we get a vision plan?
So, you're a cannibal.
It's probably just a rash.
Why am I standing on a plastic sheet?
Are you sure the power is off?
Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it?
No, my shoes aren't untied.
The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!
What do you mean, "I'll be back"?
Why is the rest of the Star Trek landing party wearing a
different color?
Pull the pin and count to what?
Which wire was I supposed to cut?
I wonder where the mother bear is.
I've seen this done on TV.
These are the good kind of mushrooms.
I'll hold it and you light the fuse.
What's that priest doing here?
You look just like Charles Manson.
Let it down slowly.
Rat poison only kills rats.
OK, I'll go ahead and make your day.
It can't possibly rain for forty days and nights.
I'll get your toast out.
Give me liberty or give me death.
Just take whatever you want, this is a ghost town.
It's strong enough for both of us.
This doesn't taste right.
I can make this light before it changes.
Nice doggie.
I can do that with my eyes closed.
I've done this before.
Well we've made it this far.
That's odd.
Hey that's not a violin.
I'll just slip into the commuter lane for a second.
I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.
You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you?
OK this is the last time.
Don't be so superstitious.
Now watch this.
This planet has an atmosphere just like on earth.
That birthmark on your head looks like 999.
What duck?

[wunofakind]

Holy Moses, cszar! Whose words are those? if they are yours are you still around?

[wtf_reportar]

My last words will be: watch out! I will get on God's ass and make more joyful miracles happen now!!
or something like that..

[cszar2001]

Originally posted by wunofakind:
Holy Moses, cszar! Whose words are those? if they are yours are you still around?

I´m still here.

[gerbnl]

...croak...

[ironknee]

very nice read...

also funny other sayings

[iDriveX]

I'm wondering how they got Princess Diana's last words of "My God, What's happening?" Was there some sort of recorder in the car when the papparazzi showed up or something? I was under ithe impression she died on impact!

[Spheric Harlot]

Originally posted by iDriveX:
I'm wondering how they got Princess Diana's last words of "My God, What's happening?" Was there some sort of recorder in the car when the papparazzi showed up or something? I was under ithe impression she died on impact!

No, she died after help showed up. (Technically, I think she was still alive when she arrived at hospital, but emergency surgery couldn't save her.)

[cszar2001]

Originally posted by iDriveX:
I'm wondering how they got Princess Diana's last words of "My God, What's happening?" Was there some sort of recorder in the car when the papparazzi showed up or something? I was under ithe impression she died on impact!

This one is cruel and tasteless:

What was the last thing that went through Diana`s head before she died?

















The windshield!

[wdlove]

I liked this one, he is a hero of mine.

I'm bored with it all.
Before slipping into a coma. He died 9 days later.
~~ Winston Churchill, statesman, d. January 24, 1965

[voyageur]

Lady Astor, Heinrich Heine and Oscar WIlde get my votes for best sense of humor in a hopeless situation.

[wtf_reporter]

Green, Joseph Henry (1791-1863)
"Congestion. Stopped."
Joseph Henry Green was a distinguished 19th century British surgeon. On his deathbed he is said to have remarked, "Congestion," after taking an especially raspy breath. He then checked his own pulse, announced "Stopped," and died.

[wtf_reporter]

Nazi War Criminals (various-16 October 1946)
01:11 a.m. Joachim von Ribbentrop - "My last wish is that Germany realize its entity and that an understanding be reached between East and West. I wish peace to the world."
01:?? a.m. Field Marshal Keitel - "I call on God Almighty to have mercy on the German people. More than two million German soldiers went to their death for the fatherland before me. I follow now my sons--all for Germany."
01:36 a.m. Ernest Kaltenbrunner - "I have loved my German people and my fatherland with a warm heart. I have done my duty by the laws of my people and I am sorry this time my people were lead by men who were not soldiers and that crimes were committed of which I had no knowledge. Germany, good luck."
01:47 a.m. Alfred Rosenberg - "No." (when asked if he had any last words)
01:?? a.m. Hans Frank - "I am thankful for the kind treatment during my captivity and I ask God to accept me with mercy."
02:05 a.m. Wilhelm Frick - "Long live eternal Germany."
02:12 a.m. Julius Streicher - "Heil Hitler!" ("Ask the man his name.") "You know my name well. Julius Streicher! . . . Now it goes with God. . . . Purim Fest 1946! . . . The Bolsheviks will hang you one day! . . . I am with God. Adele, my dear wife."
02:20 a.m. Fritz Sauckel - "I am dying innocent. The sentence is wrong. God protect Germany and make Germany great again. Long live Germany! God protect my family!"
02:?? a.m. Alfred Jodl - "My greetings to you, my Germany."
02:38 a.m. Artur Seyss-Inquart - "I hope that this execution is the last act of tragedy of the Second World War and that the lesson taken from this world war will be that peace and understanding should exist between peoples. I believe in Germany."
For more information:
Nuremberg War Crimes Trials

[wtf_reporter]

Nostradamus (Michel de Notre Dame) 1503-1566
"Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here."
Nostradamus was a cryptic prophet whose verse has been credited by some as foretelling future events despite its vague language and lack of any chronological reference. His predictions achieved local recognition after he claimed to have discovered a cure for the plague. Word of one of his prophesies eventually reached Catherine de Medici, the superstitious wife of Henry II, who believed it was about her husband: "The young lion will surpass the old one in national field by a single duel. He will pierce his eyes in a golden cage two blows at once, to die a grievous death." After Henry was killed in 1559 during a tournament when a lance, yielded by a younger opponent, pierced his eye, Nostradamus achieved true fame.
One evening, in 1566, Nostradamus's assistant found him writing at his bench and bid him good night saying "Tomorrow, master?" After Nostradamus replied, the assistant left the room. When he returned the next day, he found Nostradamus dead and a note on the desk: "Upon the return of the Embassy, the King's gift put in place, Nothing more will be done. He will have gone to God's nearest relatives, friends, blood brothers, Found quite dead near bed and bench."

[ManOfSteal]

Originally posted by PowerMacMan:
Thanks everyone at MacNN for some memorable times. It's been a fun three years! - gorickey, August 25th 2004

Word.

[Lando Griffin]

"Rosebud."
-Charles Foster Kane

[SimeyTheLimey]

I think more than a few of these had the benefit of a good editor. I mean, for example George Washington died of a massive infection of the throat. I doubt his last words were all that eloquent.

[realitybath]

Originally posted by SimeyTheLimey:
I think more than a few of these had the benefit of a good editor. I mean, for example George Washington died of a massive infection of the throat. I doubt his last words were all that eloquent.

i agree... especially with older ones:

I am ready to die for my Lord, that in my blood the Church may obtain liberty and peace.
~~ Thomas à Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury, d.1170

should probably read;

I think I have enough time for 5 minutes with the choirboy again
~~ Thomas à Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury, d.1170

[Kitschy]

These aren't last words, but previous mention of Churchill and Astor in the thread prompted a quote I was trying to remember. A Google search pieced it together for me:

"There is a famous exchange between Winston Churchill and Lady Astor when they were both staying at Blenheim Castle visiting the Marlboroughs. The two politicians had been at each other's throat all weekend when Lady Astor said, 'Winston, if I were your wife I'd put poison in your coffee.' Whereupon Winston said, 'Nancy, if I were your husband I'd drink it.'"

[jean Maning]

I am looking for Garden Golf for the Mac. It is supposed to be new. Costs $20. Cannot fing it at apple or amazon

[ManOfSteal]

Originally Posted by jean Maning

I am looking for Garden Golf for the Mac. It is supposed to be new. Costs $20. Cannot fing it at apple or amazon

Ummm....

[KeriVit]

Originally Posted by jean Maning

I am looking for Garden Golf for the Mac. It is supposed to be new. Costs $20. Cannot fing it at apple or amazon

[Mafia]

Originally Posted by jean Maning

I am looking for Garden Golf for the Mac. It is supposed to be new. Costs $20. Cannot fing it at apple or amazon

[KeriVit]

Originally Posted by jean Maning

I am looking for Garden Golf for the Mac. It is supposed to be new. Costs $20. Cannot fing it at apple or amazon

Here: http://www.phelios.com/mac/

now go.

[ManOfSteal]

Originally Posted by Mafia

you can download it for free at http://www.STFU.com

c'mon guys i burned him, admit it....

[Cadaver]

Originally Posted by jean Maning

I am looking for Garden Golf for the Mac. It is supposed to be new. Costs $20. Cannot fing it at apple or amazon

Interesting last words...

[olePigeon]

Oh come on guys! You can't forget this one:

"I drank what?!"

- Socrates

[nredman]

Originally Posted by jean Maning

I am looking for Garden Golf for the Mac. It is supposed to be new. Costs $20. Cannot fing it at apple or amazon

wtf

[bubblewrap]

Hey 'yall, watch this...

[Sarc]

I think the Red Baron's, the undisputed WWI Ace, last word was: "Kaput!"

[SimeyTheLimey]

Originally Posted by Sarc

I think the Red Baron's, the undisputed WWI Ace, last word was: "Kaput!"

He might have said that, but who could know? He was found on the ground already dead with a large caliber bullet wound to the chest. If he was capable of speech at that point at all, there was nobody present to hear it. PBS' series Nova had a rather interesting documentary about his death.

[turtle777]

Originally Posted by jean Maning

I am looking for Garden Golf for the Mac. It is supposed to be new. Costs $20. Cannot fing it at apple or amazon

Mods, please banninate him. That would be his famous first AND last words !

-t

[ghporter]

Some folks have misquoted "Annonymous" on this one:

"Hold my beer and watch this!"

I hope to have something eloquent to say when I go, but since I plan to live for a VERY long time, I haven't composed it yet.

[Oisín]

Originally Posted by jean Maning

I am looking for Garden Golf for the Mac. It is supposed to be new. Costs $20. Cannot fing it at apple or amazon

I'm sorry, whose last words are those, exactly?

[t6hawk]

Originally Posted by Oisín

I'm sorry, whose last words are those, exactly?

I think the better question is why resurrect a very old dead thread with a comment that has nothing to do with the thread itself? The last post before that was 7 months previous.

[11011001]

I think I'd probably say something like..

"And the meaning of life is.."

then die.

[willed]

Originally Posted by 11011001

I think I'd probably say something like..

"And the meaning of life is.."

then die.

"The location of the hidden treasure is - ... uuuuuurrgh!"

[MilkmanDan]

Either this wallpaper goes, or I do.

[FulcrumPilot]

I hope I will remember to whistle a tune as I make the final exit.

[tavilach]

Originally Posted by jean Maning

I am looking for Garden Golf for the Mac. It is supposed to be new. Costs $20. Cannot fing it at apple or amazon

That was genius. I've been cracking up for thirty seconds...

Seriously!

[ghporter]

Originally Posted by jean Maning

I am looking for Garden Golf for the Mac. It is supposed to be new. Costs $20. Cannot fing it at apple or amazon

I'm still trying to find the word fing in my dictionary®... This has shaken my faith that the world makes some sense. I feel like I did when I first read Phillip K. Dick's "Ubik." The bizzarreness has exceeded by capacity and I have no frame of reference anymore.

[Oisín]

Originally Posted by ghporter

I'm still trying to find the word fing in my dictionary®... This has shaken my faith that the world makes some sense. I feel like I did when I first read Phillip K. Dick's "Ubik." The bizzarreness has exceeded by capacity and I have no frame of reference anymore.

It's improper British pronunciation of 'thing'. Vis fing wif pronouncing fings as vough vey were written wif v's and f's is quite common over vere.

[ghporter]

Originally Posted by Oisín

It's improper British pronunciation of 'thing'. Vis fing wif pronouncing fings as vough vey were written wif v's and f's is quite common over vere.

I've just never seen anyone actually SPELL improper pronunciations like that before. And of course the complete non-sequitur nature of the post has my head spinning. Still spinning.

[Hugi]

Originally Posted by willed

"The location of the hidden treasure is - ... uuuuuurrgh!"

He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the holy grail in the Castle of Aaauuuggghhh...

[Oisín]

Originally Posted by ghporter

I've just never seen anyone actually SPELL improper pronunciations like that before. And of course the complete non-sequitur nature of the post has my head spinning. Still spinning.

Well, okay, if you are actually being serious here and thinking that my last post was serious, I should probably tell you that it wasn't. While fing is a Brit way of pronouncing thing, the weirdo in this particular thread meant to write 'find', I believe.

[SimeyTheLimey]

Originally Posted by Oisín

It's improper British pronunciation of 'thing'. Vis fing wif pronouncing fings as vough vey were written wif v's and f's is quite common over vere.

Or there is the version that was common when I lived in Buckinghamshire -- fink. As in "nuffink" (nothing).

But in general, I would agree that when it comes to phonetically spelling vulgar accents, it's best to le'e it ahht.