[SamuraiDL]

Seriously, I exist... I breath... I awaken everyday with the knowledge of the very thread that binds me, that which runs through my core and out to my fingertips... I am a passionate human being who falls in Love... Yet this knowledge apparently goes out the window when I meet someone who I think will be different, someone on level of communication, not a higher level, not a lower level. But I make love, or sleep with, or have sex with, or some other four letter word, with a woman and all rationality flys... So I return to the part of my mind that sees this behavior as something recognizable, like the same receptor which seeks an opiate, and squeals with pleasure when offered. Its so addict behavior... or am i just a hopeless romantic?

[yukon]

You are a geek and a romantic. If you want women to stick around, give it up. You can keep the geek thing if you learn social skills, but the romantic thing probably has to go. Women percieve this as "stalker", or "pathetic", or even worse, "sweet" (every time I hear "that's so sweet", she gets distant).

You probably believe women to be etherial beings, fairies almost, delicate and wonderful. They are basically guys, with different parts, and different chemical balences. I'm not certain, but once a relationship is well established, you possibly could start being a romantic again, it hasn't hurt me yet.

[Timo]

It wears off. Eventually. And you'll be sad when it does.

[banninated68]

I'd say it's because you're a complete loser.



- Ca$h

[yukon]

Agreeing with Timo (not necessarily cash), it is sad. Yet it all just doesn't seem to work for long. Disillusionment, really.

[rozwado1]

Originally posted by SamuraiDL:
Why do I fall in love with every woman who shows me the slightest bit of attention?

Yes.

[Disgruntled Head of C-3PO]

Perhaps you are lonely, insecure and desperate?

[SamuraiDL]

perhaps, thanx guys.

[OwlBoy]

hmm, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind?

If not, watch it, you will see why it comes to mind when I read what you "said"

Either way, I feel exactly the same way

-Owl

[SamuraiDL]

Oh I completely had that in mind when I wrote the thread, its the exact quote, and I love that film, but If I watch it now i'll just cry or something...

[banninated68]

Originally posted by Disgruntled Head of C-3PO:
Perhaps you are lonely, insecure and desperate?

[SamuraiDL]

hey 68, I think your wish has been granted...

[rozwado1]

Originally posted by SamuraiDL:
If I watch it now i'll just cry or something...

I was gonna let the first post slide, but now this?

Don't be a wuss. It's only a girl.

[banninated68]

Originally posted by SamuraiDL:
hey 68, I think your wish has been granted...

I don't like you much.

[Disgruntled Head of C-3PO]

Honestly, people can smell desperation from a mile and are totally turned off by it. If you show confidence in yourself you will be more attractive.

And I am not talking about a cocky bastard, just don't be so insecure and ready to fall in love at the drop of a hat.

[SamuraiDL]

yeah I totally feel you on that, Its weird cuz she was all over me for a couple of weeks, and now its starting to turn, I should chill a little, I think I will.

[SamuraiDL]

the question is, is do we have this control over our actions? I guess Ill try and find out again...

[ThinkInsane]

Why is it that anytime someone posts something remotely personal, everyone feels the need to be a complete asshole about it? My mommy taught me that if you can't say something nice, someone might get mad and beat your ass. Is it really so important to flap your festering gobs, just for the sake of being cruel to a stranger? If it is, you may want to take a step back and give a good look at yourself. Or is it just some need to try and look cool in front of a bunch of nameless, faceless, internet geeks on a tech forum. That'd be wicked cool! You know, all grade school style.

Seriously, if all you have to say is nasty things, and have nothing to contribute, or can't contribute in a way that isn't going to hurt someone's feelings, don't post and use the ****ing back button.

[OldManMac]

It's mostly because they're insecure themselves, so they have to have a moment where they feel they're better than somebody. You've heard the old saw; negative attention is better than no attention.

[banninated68]

Originally posted by ThinkInsane:
Why is it that anytime someone posts something remotely personal, everyone feels the need to be a complete asshole about it? My mommy taught me that if you can't say something nice, someone might get mad and beat your ass. Is it really so important to flap your festering gobs, just for the sake of being cruel to a stranger? If it is, you may want to take a step back and give a good look at yourself. Or is it just some need to try and look cool in front of a bunch of nameless, faceless, internet geeks on a tech forum. That'd be wicked cool! You know, all grade school style.

Seriously, if all you have to say is nasty things, and have nothing to contribute, or can't contribute in a way that isn't going to hurt someone's feelings, don't post and use the ****ing back button.

Actually, I would have contributed but SamauriDL has been a total ******** to me in the past (example here ), so **** him. He can kiss my ass and go cry by himself for all I care.

- Ca$h

[banninated68]

Originally posted by KarlG:


It's mostly because they're insecure themselves, so they have to have a moment where they feel they're better than somebody. You've heard the old saw; negative attention is better than no attention.

No, it's more like this:

- $

[SamuraiDL]

wow... that tottaly came back to bite me in my ass... thats ****in hilarious!!!!! Seriously, we dont get along very well, but that research you did on me was really on point. Kudos.

[banninated68]

Originally posted by SamuraiDL:
wow... that tottaly came back to bite me in my ass... thats ****in hilarious!!!!! Seriously, we dont get along very well, but that research you did on me was really on point. Kudos.

NP. And since I consider my blows well placed, we're even-steven.

[yukon]

My mommy taught me that if you can't say something nice, someone might get mad and beat your ass.

Absolutly, well put. Why do something when you know that all it'll do is create anger or dislike, why bother?

Eternal sunshine of the....never heard of it. Oh, wait, the Carrey movie, I'll take a look, thanks IMDB-
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0338013/

Absolutly, cool it a little. Tell her you enjoy your time with her, but try leaving it at that.

[SamuraiDL]

no man, you really take it there. I know when I see a good comeback, and im a good sport. damn... im at a loss for words...

[spiky_dog]

#1: romance movie techniques are best left at the movie theater. i can't find it now, but the onion had a great article about this a few years ago.

#2: be secure in yourself. this means being comfortable on your own, not being clingy, and yes, ignoring the girl/other person for a large part of the time. no one wants a needy puppy on their heel (or cell phone as it may be) all the time.

[greenamp]

It's your over eagerness to "fall in love" that is turning the ladies off. To women, thats a sign of weakness.

[OldManMac]

Originally posted by banninated68:
No, it's more like this:

- $

I rest my case.

[banninated68]

Originally posted by KarlG:
I rest my case.

Do what you'd like, but you're ignoring this.

[smacintush]

Greenamp, The phrase "the ladies" in this context sounds a little objectifying don't you think? When I read it I picture the 70's guy with the gold medallion and his shirt unbuttoned saying "I really know how to make it with the ladies."

[CRASH HARDDRIVE]

...every woman who shows me the slightest bit of attention?

Why would any self-respecting woman want a guy who falls in love with just anyone? I’ve never met a female worth going ga-ga over who wanted herself thought of as ‘just anyone’, nor who wanted to be the passing object of some pathetic guy’s “I can’t have anyone I want so I’ll just settle for you” puppy-love.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic. Romance isn’t dead. Just many guys have a wretched understanding of what actual romance is, and when its use is actually appropriate. Clueless guys think romance= “I’ll just cling desperately to ANY girl I meet, be the 'nice guy' to the point of being a doormat, then when she rejects me I’ll whine about it being because she doesn’t appreciate ‘nice guys’.” Bleh.

It’s kinda sad when I see someone stuck in that perpetual ‘nice guy’ syndrome, in which they foist the same doormat schmuck act at ANY female that has the misfortune of coming into contact with them. Then they can’t fathom why no individual woman appreciates all their hopelessly indiscriminate, almost random smarminess.

Women can spot the difference between a real romantic pursuit that intrigues them, and the fake desperate “I lay this crap on every girl” kind a thousand yards off. But hopeless ‘nice guys’ never seem to figure out that they’ve long since been figured out.

[TheDisaster]

Never try to understand anything without a Y chromosome.

[greenamp]

Originally posted by smacintush:
Greenamp, The phrase "the ladies" in this context sounds a little objectifying don't you think? When I read it I picture the 70's guy with the gold medallion and his shirt unbuttoned saying "I really know how to make it with the ladies."

Would you have prefered I said, "the bitches?"

[phoenixboy70]

Originally posted by SamuraiDL:
... when I meet someone who I think will be different,...

there is your problem.

this is the notion you'll have to give up. either they are different or they aren't. it seems like you know exactly what you want. just go for that and stop fooling yourself.

[phoenixboy70]

Originally posted by CRASH HARDDRIVE:
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic. Romance isn’t dead. Just many guys have a wretched understanding of what actual romance is, and when its use is actually appropriate. Clueless guys think romance= “I’ll just cling desperately to ANY girl I meet, be the 'nice guy' to the point of being a doormat, then when she rejects me I’ll whine about it being because she doesn’t appreciate ‘nice guys’.”

LOL. actually the biggest misunderstanding about "romance" is that most people think it's all about "warm feelings", and "harmony", - when it really IS more about "dispair", "suffering" and most of all "drama". you really need to enjoy the pain in order to appreaciate it.

[Captain Obvious]

You are being yanked around by your feelings like some little bitch. Your brain should be better able to compartmentalize these things being that you are a guy. Its possible you might just be naive and unsure of yourself but if this is a continuing pattern you should see a doctor. Love is really after all just a bunch of chemical reactions set up by evolution to get us to mate and stay around the kids long enough to raise them. Maybe your genetics are a little bit off and your brain chemistry is not working as it should. You could suffer from some hormonal imbalance or some disorder that could be fixed with meds.

Anyway, I suggest you get a grip on reality and realize that sometimes (OK 99% of the time) a piece of ass is just a piece of ass. There is no need to idealize all these encounters to fool yourself into believing they were somehow all magical and amazing. Clearly these chicks didn't love you so what you thought and felt were wrong. If this is such a distraction in your life, and it seems to me more like an obsession, you should learn to better understand what the hell your brain is doing before you go out professing your feelings to some chick who was just inebriated and horny one night and you happened to be there first.

Time did a nice piece early this year on it that was targeted for those of us who didn't major in neurobiology. Here's a summary of the book it was based on. http://www.ramcconnell.com/hormonallove.pdf


See T.I., I was sort of nice and I didn’t even tell him to grow a pair or to stop being such a chump.

[Lancer409]

Originally posted by SamuraiDL:
Seriously, I exist... I breath... I awaken everyday with the knowledge of the very thread that binds me, that which runs through my core and out to my fingertips... I am a passionate human being who falls in Love... Yet this knowledge apparently goes out the window when I meet someone who I think will be different, someone on level of communication, not a higher level, not a lower level. But I make love, or sleep with, or have sex with, or some other four letter word, with a woman and all rationality flys... So I return to the part of my mind that sees this behavior as something recognizable, like the same receptor which seeks an opiate, and squeals with pleasure when offered. Its so addict behavior... or am i just a hopeless romantic?

Dont worry .. I'm the same way .. be who you are. Dont worry about being Man enough on a forum. people can talk as tough as they want .. when it's in the lounge, it's just a bunch of letters thrown together to form an insulting response (in jest or otherwise)

Good luck in your lovelife =)

[Spheric Harlot]

Originally posted by phoenixboy70:
LOL. actually the biggest misunderstanding about "romance" is that most people think it's all about "warm feelings", and "harmony", - when it really IS more about "dispair", "suffering" and most of all "drama". you really need to enjoy the pain in order to appreaciate it.

no.

(I used to think that too.)


Samurai:
What's in it for you?

Anything you do or feel happens for a reason. If you're "falling in love" with people for no real reason other than minimal attention, it sounds like there's a pattern to be seen: What is it about these people that makes you latch onto them, and where should what they're giving you (or seem to be promising you) have been in your life; where has it been/was it missing?

-s*

[phoenixboy70]

Originally posted by Spheric Harlot:
no. (I used to think that too.)

*g* okay. please elaborate, if you will.

[acadian]

The best thing I ever did for my love life was to honestly stop caring. Seriously, it works.

[Spheric Harlot]

Originally posted by phoenixboy70:
*g* okay. please elaborate, if you will.

I *do* enjoy the odd bit of drama every now and then - keeps you thinking on your feet. But while I accept that pain and suffering and despair are part of life, I think anyone who actually *enjoys* them needs to stop listening to Goth, change the clothes and the outlook, and start living.

-s*(2¢)

[Randman]

Youth is indeed wasted on the young, isn't it?

[gadster]

Because they fill you up.

You need to become more of a 'filler', than a 'fillee'.

[Zimphire]

co-dependence?

[UNTeMac]

Originally posted by Captain Obvious:
You are being yanked around by your feelings like some little bitch. Your brain should be better able to compartmentalize these things being that you are a guy. Its possible you might just be naive and unsure of yourself but if this is a continuing pattern you should see a doctor. Love is really after all just a bunch of chemical reactions set up by evolution to get us to mate and stay around the kids long enough to raise them. Maybe your genetics are a little bit off and your brain chemistry is not working as it should. You could suffer from some hormonal imbalance or some disorder that could be fixed with meds.

Anyway, I suggest you get a grip on reality and realize that sometimes (OK 99% of the time) a piece of ass is just a piece of ass. There is no need to idealize all these encounters to fool yourself into believing they were somehow all magical and amazing. Clearly these chicks didn't love you so what you thought and felt were wrong. If this is such a distraction in your life, and it seems to me more like an obsession, you should learn to better understand what the hell your brain is doing before you go out professing your feelings to some chick who was just inebriated and horny one night and you happened to be there first.

Time did a nice piece early this year on it that was targeted for those of us who didn't major in neurobiology. Here's a summary of the book it was based on. http://www.ramcconnell.com/hormonallove.pdf


See T.I., I was sort of nice and I didn’t even tell him to grow a pair or to stop being such a chump.

This man's never been in love. So what if it's just a hormonal reaction? Consciousness by that logic is just a chemical reaction but it's all we have so who cares.

I personally would place making someone happy for a very long time much higher than the mutual masturbation hookups that occur on a whim. Those may be fun for awhile but they're far from fulfilling in the long run.

Samurai The best advice I can give you is stop giving a f*ck about what girls think about you and just be yourself. That, more than anything, attracts them like flies. Find the one that fits you best and stick with her. Nobody falls in love after a week or even a month of knowing somebody. Take it easy on the love thing right off the bat or you'll scare them off. Good luck!

[turtle777]

Originally posted by SamuraiDL:
I awaken everyday with the knowledge of the very thread that binds me, that which runs through my core and out to my fingertips...

That would make an AWESOME sig !

Did you meant threat, btw. ?

-t

[MilkmanDan]

Actually I find that when I'm not looking for anyone, someone falls in my lap. Good things happen to those who wait.

[ThisGuy]

Originally posted by Disgruntled Head of C-3PO:
Honestly, people can smell desperation from a mile and are totally turned off by it. If you show confidence in yourself you will be more attractive.

And I am not talking about a cocky bastard, just don't be so insecure and ready to fall in love at the drop of a hat.

i will agree 100% with this. girls see neediness as a huge turn off. confidence is key.
before i met my wife i used to go out quite often with my friends and drink, play golden tee, darts, pool, etc. and 1 thing i can say is when you do your own thing and stop concerning yourself with the environment you're in you'll start to get noticed more often by a potential partner. i have had the most luck meeting women/girls on the days i had no intention of doing anything related to meeting somebody.

[wataru]

In my experience, you only get what you want after you give up completely.

[turtle777]

Originally posted by wataru:
In my experience, you only get what you want after you give up completely.

If only that was true...

I've given up many things, they almost never just materialized afterwards. Nice story, though !

-t