[andreas_g4]

What was the longest time it took you to come back to life after your girlfriend broke up (in a serious relationship)? It would be interesting to see what other people besides my friends have on experience.

A friend of mine said that she thinks the time is equal to the time you were together. WHAT?

I really think that you can get over it faster if you lern to know someone else. Not meaning to "replace" the old love, but to be able to concentrate on a new life/person. But of course this can end up bad for both when you realise that it's only for that purpose. I guess you sometimes just don't know this before.

[Mafia]

i've been in serious relationships but for some reason i never get too involved. probably a month at the most. i've only ended on bad terms once or twice so its a lot easier to go your seperate ways when you are still talking.

[nredman]

i always thought it took half as long to get over a relationship as it lasted. i guess it depends on how bad the bitch ****ed you over...seriously though i think it all depends on the person & relationship. i was with a girl for about a year and i think after about 3 months i got over it.

[jcadam]

I never had much trouble getting over a girl. The most trouble had to have been my first relationship back in high school. It took me almost a week!

But to be honest, I never was in a serious relationship before I got involved with my wife. I guess it would take me a while to recover if she were to dump me for a superior male. Actually, seeing as how we have three kids, I probably would never fully get over it, but things are going fine right now, so I'm not worrying

[wdlove]

My only really serious relationship is with my current wife of 32 years. They are happy years.

[Ghoser777]

Every situation is different. It depends on how emotionally attached the two are and how the relationship ends. I have a friend who's been in relationships over a year and needed no time to get over the break up, but a recent relationship has taken them over 2 weeks to really recover. I was a basket case for almost 6 months after I broke up with my first gf.

[juusan]

doesn't it really depend on how much you cared about each other? I've had a three year relationship that almost killed me when it ended, and another three years that was over with much glee.

[Cody Dawg]

Honestly? I don't think you ever really get over it.

If you really loved the person, that is.

I still love all of my "ex's."

They even come and visit me and my current spouse, once in a while, also. No hard feelings. I wish them well. The timing just wasn't right at the time.

My current spouse, well, I am still in love same as I was when we got married and we've been married quite a while.

[11011001]

Originally posted by wdlove:
My only really serious relationship is with my current wife of 32 years. They are happy years.

I have never seen you say a bad thing.. it's kinda scary!

Congrats though.

[demograph68]

Originally posted by 11011001:
I have never seen you say a bad thing.. it's kinda scary!

Congrats though.

He's either a liar or a robot.

[ManOfSteal]

Originally posted by Ghoser777:
I was a basket case for almost 6 months after I broke up with my first gf.

Us 'NN veterans remember those days as well, and threads on the matter. Oh well, I'm sure having Keira Knightly around every night has it's perks!

[TubaMuffins]

My girlfiriend and I were together for over a year and a half, it had a good size of soeriousnes in it, but it took me a bout three weeks to get over it. just gotta get out and make friends instead of siting on your ass moping.

[E's Lil Theorem]

I don't have problems getting over a relationship. Don't get me wrong, I don't forget about the person, but I don't dwell on it either. Except that one time.

My ex-girlfriend. We were together for a long time and even though it ended about 1.5 years ago, I still miss what we had.

[MacGorilla]

My general rule is wait 6 months before dating, a year before anything serious. Now if you and your girl were only together two months, you don't have to wait that long, But if lasted a year or more was serious, then ya, wait.

[The Godfather]

It also depends on the potential partner that you could hook up with. If you find potential for another great love, then you should think about shortening your mourning.

[KeriVit]

I don't think you can base it on the length of the realtionship. Does it take 3 years to get over a 6 year relationship?

Personally. last time, I got over a 5 year realtionship in 3 weeks. Guess it all depends what you had!?!

[andreas_g4]

Well, thanks a lot for your comments.

Interestingly, I cannot say how my feelings are now. We were together for more than 1 1/2 years, and I really fell in love with her after some time, and I'm sure she was honest, when she said she fell in love with me, too. We had an appartment together (which I loved, too) for 3 months when she ended it and I moved out immediately. The hard thing is: I don't even know why! She said, that she is most probably unable to have a relationship. She is 20 now (when we met she was 18 and me 21) and really had a lot of friends before, she didn't want to count because she was afraid of the possible number, she said once. I was the first one she had a longer relationship with, her best as she said. You know what, when we talked together two weeks after the break up, she said that every girl could be the happiest in the world to have me as a boyfriend! Don't get me wrong, I don't wanna show off what a nice guy I am and stuff, it's just so annoying to hear that when she broke up nevertheless. Can you understand that!!!???!?? I don't. And what really hurts is that I know that so many guys that are after her and could get her now! She's really, really, really beautiful and I don't know if I'm not just too superficial or what, but that hurts so much that she's now not any longer "my girl". Everyone says, there are so many beautiful girls on the planet, get over her. But then I miss her way of being, small things, motions, words, sentences. It was all so perfect! Dammit!

And what made the situation even more sad for me was that we attended the same school, same class. I was not able to see her everyday, so I cancelled my way to the Abitur (that's what you need in Germany to be allowed to study). Since it was a school for adults, which we only have one in my city, I have to move to some other city now. My life is pretty f*cked up right at the moment.

But all what you say makes me feel a little better, since it seems that everyone can get over it in some time, more or less.

[andreas_g4]

maybe a picture of her helps you to understand…


(editing sux in firefox)

[MacGorilla]

Originally posted by andreas_g4:
maybe a picture of her helps you to understand…


(editing sux in firefox)

I'd hit it ™

But yes, that'll be tough to get over.

[TubaMuffins]

this was my first serious girlfriend that i renetly broke up with, we were very serious like i had said earlier. She had told me how many shitty boyfriends she had and how lucky she was to have me and that i could make any girl happy. as flattering as it was, i was fully comitted to her. when she let to study abroad, i knew i couldn't wait six months for her, or if i even wanted too. she always said i was lucky to find love in my first relationship, but its hard for me to guage that since i have no one to compare her too. i was excited when we broke up because it would mean a new world for me (as she introduced me to the world of dating), but also sad because i never want to lose her. i know we will always be great friends but she is looking for more of a commitment than i can offer. maybe this doesn't apply to you, but it sure felt good for me to vent this out since it was only one month ago she left. but i have already started seeing this girl i work with and i am happy with how things worked out. wish you well in your relationship life.

[The Godfather]

Originally posted by andreas_g4:
maybe a picture of her helps you to understand…


(editing sux in firefox)

No doubt she's a looker.

[andreas_g4]

Originally posted by TubaMuffins:
this was my first serious girlfriend that i renetly broke up with, we were very serious like i had said earlier. She had told me how many shitty boyfriends she had and how lucky she was to have me and that i could make any girl happy. as flattering as it was, i was fully comitted to her. when she let to study abroad, i knew i couldn't wait six months for her, or if i even wanted too. she always said i was lucky to find love in my first relationship, but its hard for me to guage that since i have no one to compare her too. i was excited when we broke up because it would mean a new world for me (as she introduced me to the world of dating), but also sad because i never want to lose her. i know we will always be great friends but she is looking for more of a commitment than i can offer. maybe this doesn't apply to you, but it sure felt good for me to vent this out since it was only one month ago she left. but i have already started seeing this girl i work with and i am happy with how things worked out. wish you well in your relationship life.

Maybe I should realise what you already have: Life goes on and there's more good to come… But it so hard at the moment to believe!

[efuseakay]

If you aren't banging a new chick by the next day, there is something wrong with you...

[Ghoser777]

Originally posted by andreas_g4:
maybe a picture of her helps you to understand…


(editing sux in firefox)

Ah damn, she's available? Can I get her #?!?!?

Yes, I deserve a slap for that. I can definitely understand your pain now. Good luck man

[Mafia]

Originally posted by andreas_g4:
maybe a picture of her helps you to understand…


(editing sux in firefox)

yeep! ya thats a rough loss. i recommend

[rjenkinson]

Originally posted by demograph68:
He's either a liar or a robot.

the third possibility is that you're a cynic.

-r.

[phantomdragonz]

took me a long ass time to get over mine... i would say about 6 months... but it was my first real gf... and let me tell ya... the 6month rule before real dating is key... you think you are over her... but you are not... hang out with your friends, try to keep socially active and you will be fine... it sucks ass, but it just takes time... make it as easy on yourself as you can.


Zach

[MilkmanDan]

My college room mate's girlfriend just broke up with him, and no one can figure out why, except that she now is sleeping with another room mate. The old room mate switch. How messed up is that.

[poet guy]

Twenty-eight years, four months, thirteen days and. . . (looking at watch). . eighteen hours and some change. And still counting . . .

[turtle777]

Originally posted by Cody Dawg:
I still love all of my "ex's."

What kind of 'love' is that ?

-t

[Stradlater]

Originally posted by poet guy:
Twenty-eight years, four months, thirteen days and. . . (looking at watch). . eighteen hours and some change. And still counting . . .

O, him she stores, to show what wealth she had
In days long since, before these last so bad.

[Goldfinger]

Matters of the heart can not be defined and so one can not answer your question in a proper way. It's no use to answer it.

[ThinkInsane]

Originally posted by 11011001:
I have never seen you say a bad thing.. it's kinda scary!

Congrats though.

Oh, don't let him fool you. There is a DARK SIDE TO WD LOVE!!!!

[Sealobo]

i broke up with this girl and i never recovered... i've simlpy become another person. our love transformed both of us, life and this world has a different meaning to us since then. it's so romantic. o i want to cry again, getting a bit too sensitive.

[Twilly Spree]

Originally posted by andreas_g4:
Well, thanks a lot for your comments.

Interestingly, I cannot say how my feelings are now. We were together for more than 1 1/2 years, and I really fell in love with her after some time, and I'm sure she was honest, when she said she fell in love with me, too. We had an appartment together (which I loved, too) for 3 months when she ended it and I moved out immediately. The hard thing is: I don't even know why! She said, that she is most probably unable to have a relationship. She is 20 now (when we met she was 18 and me 21) and really had a lot of friends before, she didn't want to count because she was afraid of the possible number, she said once. I was the first one she had a longer relationship with, her best as she said. You know what, when we talked together two weeks after the break up, she said that every girl could be the happiest in the world to have me as a boyfriend! Don't get me wrong, I don't wanna show off what a nice guy I am and stuff, it's just so annoying to hear that when she broke up nevertheless. Can you understand that!!!???!?? I don't. And what really hurts is that I know that so many guys that are after her and could get her now! She's really, really, really beautiful and I don't know if I'm not just too superficial or what, but that hurts so much that she's now not any longer "my girl". Everyone says, there are so many beautiful girls on the planet, get over her. But then I miss her way of being, small things, motions, words, sentences. It was all so perfect! Dammit!

And what made the situation even more sad for me was that we attended the same school, same class. I was not able to see her everyday, so I cancelled my way to the Abitur (that's what you need in Germany to be allowed to study). Since it was a school for adults, which we only have one in my city, I have to move to some other city now. My life is pretty f*cked up right at the moment.

But all what you say makes me feel a little better, since it seems that everyone can get over it in some time, more or less.

Advice eh? From some faceless screen-names on a Macintosh forum. People who don't know you, where you're coming from and aren't really reading what you're saying anyway. All they can is project their own experience on you and hope it works.

Then again, that isn't so different from real life

OK I read what you wrote there in the quote and I'll tell you right now I have never experienced a relationship like you had with that girl and I can't really relate to that. However, when you wrote about how you feel/felt about her, bells rang. I have been there. What you wrote just sounds really familiar.

I can't offer you any advice on how to get over her or how to get her back or anything, but if you care about her then think about her every once in a while. Every day is ok and you probably will to begin with but just remind yourself to think about her every once in a while as time passes. There is no point in denying your feeling if you care for her. When you're in love you can't just turn off emotions like a switch and trying to can just make you nuts.

So think about her. Try and meet her if you can, if you can't or don't feel like it (she did hurt you by walking out so maybe you don't) then contact her (SMS or whatever), if you can't it doesn't matter. Just don't try and forget her because you never really will anyway. Nobody actually forgets anyone they love. I don't know if this makes sense to you, cuz it hardly makes sense to me.

One day when thinking about her you'll realize something very important to you. You'll know when it happens (we're not talking years here.. 2 tops)

Take it easy. Be nice to yourself. Don't forget your ex.

[Apple Pro Underwear]

6 months and i'm still thinking of her


but a full year later and i am prospecting again




previously before this girl my longest time was like a week or so.

[RAILhead]

Man, what a bunch of saps! It's over. Period. Dwelling on it isn't going to bring you back together, so count it a loss, get off your duff, and move on. Meet more people. If she wasn't TEH ONE then she's not it -- which means that TEH ONE is still out there, waiting to be found.

I've had loads of serious relationships prior to getting married (Kim was about 1.5 years, Julie was 2.5 years, Chris (yes, she was a girl) was about 1 year, Amy was 2 or so years, etc.), but once it was over -- it was over.

Of course, it's no secret I'm a big fan of women, so I made it a point not to waste much time moping; too many fish in the sea. And again -- if you broke up, she's not the one, and you won't find the "right" one until you go out looking.

Maury

[Goldfinger]

Originally posted by RAILhead:
Man, what a bunch of saps! It's over. Period. Dwelling on it isn't going to bring you back together, so count it a loss, get off your duff, and move on. Meet more people. If she wasn't TEH ONE then she's not it -- which means that TEH ONE is still out there, waiting to be found.

I've had loads of serious relationships prior to getting married (Kim was about 1.5 years, Julie was 2.5 years, Chris (yes, she was a girl) was about 1 year, Amy was 2 or so years, etc.), but once it was over -- it was over.

Of course, it's no secret I'm a big fan of women, so I made it a point not to waste much time moping; too many fish in the sea. And again -- if you broke up, she's not the one, and you won't find the "right" one until you go out looking.

Maury

[jonasmac]

In the words of David Gray:

"So who's to worry
If our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don't you know this life goes on"


Don't worry, man, you'll get over it. "Time heals all wounds." "It's better to have loved and lost than not to have lost at all." Blah Blah Blah.

Bottom line: It's over. Cherish the experience you had. Learn about who you are and who they (women) are. New love is right around the corner.

[SimpleLife]

7 long years of dry bread and tepid water.

[Apple Pro Underwear]

Originally posted by Goldfinger:

i enjoyed being hurt

made me grow up from the stupid f*ckwit I was before


i am now a much smarter f*ckwit



seriously, what's joy without pain. when i meet the real right chick, i will know because i learned from this one.

[acadian]

24 hours. Any longer and your giving them too much power over yourself.

[Zimmerman]

Four years and counting...

[iXavier]

Originally posted by jonasmac:
In the words of David Gray:

"So who's to worry
If our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don't you know this life goes on"

Excellent lyrics and I always think of this song when I'm thinking about breakups and how they hurt. I'm still recovering from my last one, but I'm almost there. It's been almost six months, we were together for a good 8 months or so. Does that work out in the math? No, but is it the time that I needed? Absolutely.

There's no set answer on time, each relationship and each person and each heart is different. It's not moping, or reliving each moment, it's just realizing who you are and how it's made you stronger. This, my friend, is easier said than done.

x.

[mitchell_pgh]

I will be brutally honest. You may never get over that girl. I was in a relationship once and I broke up with her. I then figured out I made a big mistake, but it was too late. I tried to get back with her, but it just didn't work out... years later, I saw the girl again, and to be honest, I really had nothing in common with her. We had nothing to talk about, we matured in different ways and wanted different things in life.

But I still think about the girl I broke up with years ago. The one that got away... Unfortunately, that girl has long since vanished.

My 2¢ of wisdom... don't chase after memories.

[andreas_g4]

Originally posted by mitchell_pgh:
I will be brutally honest. You may never get over that girl. I was in a relationship once and I broke up with her. I then figured out I made a big mistake, but it was too late. I tried to get back with her, but it just didn't work out... years later, I saw the girl again, and to be honest, I really had nothing in common with her. We had nothing to talk about, we matured in different ways and wanted different things in life.

But I still think about the girl I broke up with years ago. The one that got away... Unfortunately, that girl has long since vanished.

My 2¢ of wisdom... don't chase after memories.

mitchel, that's exactly what I think will happen. Besides the fact that she did quit and that I would NEVER get back to a girl/woman if she quit (it just almost never works) I see this future coming. I guess if we would see each other in a few years, it would be the same as you described. I don't know exactly why I'm sure about this, but I am.