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tavilach · May 15, 2005, 03:00 AM

Have you ever willingly destroyed a cherished friendship by laying all your opinions and feelings on the table? I just did. I wanted to finally clear my mind of certain thoughts, some angry and some just surprising, and I did. I knew what the price would probably be. Was it worth it? Only time will tell.

Has anyone ever had a similar experience?

greenamp · May 15, 2005, 03:02 AM

Honesty is overrated.

tavilach · May 15, 2005, 03:24 AM

Originally Posted by greenamp

Honesty is overrated.

I couldn't disagree more. I think that it might be one of the most important qualities in a person. Granted, it's liable to really screw things up, but sometimes the means justify the ends.

Randman · May 15, 2005, 03:46 AM

Have you thought about getting a blog?

Xeo · May 15, 2005, 03:53 AM

Unless your opinions and feelings were "I don't like you and don't want to be your friend" then it's too bad that the other person wasn't mature enough to accept you for who you are. Then again, what were your opinions and feelings? I'm not asking for specifics, just whether or not you were criticizing that person or talking about life in general. More basically, what did you say that would turn the other person away?

tavilach · May 15, 2005, 04:00 AM

Originally Posted by Randman

Have you thought about getting a blog?

I have one. It's temporarily down

.

I felt that this might be a good topic to discuss. I guess I was wrong? Perhaps just too vague?

Originally Posted by Xeo

Unless your opinions and feelings were "I don't like you and don't want to be your friend" then it's too bad that the other person wasn't mature enough to accept you for who you are. Then again, what were your opinions and feelings? I'm not asking for specifics, just whether or not you were criticizing that person or talking about life in general. More basically, what did you say that would turn the other person away?

I'd rather not elaborate, but it was definetely not anything along the lines of "I don't like you and don't want to be your friend." Sorry for the lack of details, guys. My reasoning is complicated.

Randman · May 15, 2005, 04:05 AM

Without details, you're going to get vague responses as well.

tavilach · May 15, 2005, 04:07 AM

Originally Posted by Randman

Without details, you're going to get vague responses as well.

Yeah. Whoops. Should've thought about that.

Xeo · May 15, 2005, 04:14 AM

Originally Posted by Randman

Without details, you're going to get vague responses as well.

Well were you talking to the person about him or her or about yourself? The former can be harder for someone to take because it's usually criticism but the latter should be something a friend can accept.

PurpleGiant · May 15, 2005, 04:22 AM

Tavi: I assume this is a girl who you are/were quite good friends with. You like her all this time, you don't know what she thinks. You finally tell you her like her, and she freaks out and doesn't want to be friends with you.

Give it a bit of time, she will be over it in a week - and although it will take a little bit of time, your friendship can get back on track after that. She may be hesitant at first however.

tavilach · May 15, 2005, 04:25 AM

Originally Posted by PurpleGiant

Tavi: I assume this is a girl who you are/were quite good friends with. You like her all this time, you don't know what she thinks. You finally tell you her like her, and she freaks out and doesn't want to be friends with you.

Give it a bit of time, she will be over it in a week - and although it will take a little bit of time, your friendship can get back on track after that. She may be hesitant at first however.

Good guess, but that's actually not the situation at all. My friend is female, but other than that...

As for your question, Xeo, it was more about me.

Millennium · May 15, 2005, 08:04 AM

There were times I was certain I would, but that didn't happen, and in a few cases I'm still not sure why it didn't happen. That's not to say people didn't get angry, but they did forgive me eventually, even in cases where I'm not sure they should have.

SimpleLife · May 15, 2005, 08:26 AM

For me, it all comes down to what is a friend. Then you need to ask yourself, if you really know your friends (do we ever?). And then there is the "What do I expect from my friends? What should they expect from me?" and "What am I ready to give?" and "What am I ready to tolerate?"

Finally, "how the friendships I want should be and what am ready to do to make it happen?" Indeed, it also depends of your friends to make it happen.

starman · May 15, 2005, 08:28 AM

Originally Posted by tavilach

I have one. It's temporarily down

.

I felt that this might be a good topic to discuss. I guess I was wrong? Perhaps just too vague?

I'd rather not elaborate, but it was definetely not anything along the lines of "I don't like you and don't want to be your friend." Sorry for the lack of details, guys. My reasoning is complicated.

Then why the f* post it? If you can f* up a friendship, you can sure post the details of it, no?

Mike

Ghoser777 · May 15, 2005, 09:12 AM

I would have hit it first.

Randman · May 15, 2005, 09:36 AM

Originally Posted by Ghoser777

I would have hit it first.

I wonder if that attempt is what derailed the friendship.

E's Lil Theorem · May 15, 2005, 11:00 AM

You know, if you tell people what you're really feeling/thinking all of the time, you can avoid these "let it all out" moments altogether. It's not practical, but if it bothers you so much, change your ways.

Originally Posted by Randman

I wonder if that attempt is what derailed the friendship.

That's what PurpleGiant thought, but tavilach already said it's not that. Now, if you don't believe him, that's another story.