[ThinkInsane]

I'm bored at work and just stumbled across this. It had me laughing out loud and killed some of the down time, so I thought I would share.

If World War Two had been an online Real Time Strategy game, the chat room traffic would have gone something like this.

*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*
*Eisenhower has joined the game.*
*paTTon has joined the game.*
*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
*Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*
Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0JO: lol
Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got **** to help, sry
Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: stfu
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
*deGaulle has left the game.*
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses
T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
Hitler[AoE]: wtf
Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right ***** im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be an arss
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
Eisenhower: LOL
benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help
Hitler: o man ur focked
paTTon: oh what now biotch
Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
*benny-tow has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: lame
Roosevelt: gj patton
paTTon: thnx
Hitler[AoE]: WTF eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t
Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny~tow: wtf that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker
Stalin: rofl
T0J0: HAHAHHAA
Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay
Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
*Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*
benny~tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
*Hitler[AoE] has left the game*
paTTon: hahahhah
T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs
benny~tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: fock u
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: go to hell lol
paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk
Eisenhower: yah this is gay
*Roosevelt has left the game.*
Hitler[AoE]: wtf?
Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join
*tru_m4n has joined the game.*
tru_m4n: hi all
T0J0: hey
Stalin: sup
Churchill: hi
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: wtf is nukes?
T0J0: holy ****holy****hoyl****!
*T0J0 has been eliminated.*
*The Allied team has won the game!*
Eisenhower: awesome!
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: thats bull**** u fockin suck
*T0J0 has left the game.*
*Eisenhower has left the game.*
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss
tru_m4n: l8r all
benny~tow: bye
Churchill: l8r
Stalin: fock u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
*tru_m4n has left the game.*
benny~tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie
*Churchill has left the game.*
*benny~tow has left the game.*
Stalin: i hate u all fags
*Stalin has left the game.*
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
*paTTon has been eliminated.*
paTTon: o sh1t!
*paTTon has left the game.*


From here.

[FulcrumPilot]

mwhahahahalololololllroflamsdma!!!!

funny stufff!!!

hitler do not approve

[AKcrab]

or should I say ROFLMAO!!!!1111ONE11

[SimpleLife]

Mr Smith in room 311 is defibrilating.

[budster101]

2 funny.

[Zimphire]

[Superchicken]

So what you're saying is.... Hitler should have just been given an iBook... that way he couldn't have played games and would have instead just played in Photoshop and Germany would be really pretty?

[Railroader]

Very funny piece TI. I enjoyed it. Maybe it should be taught in 4th grade as a IRC Cliff's note kind of thing.

Right on SC.

[Ghoser777]

All someone had to do was buy his paintings...

[budster101]

Buy his paintings? You've got to be kidding... he was gay and couldn't deal with it.

[Superchicken]

Originally Posted by budster101

Buy his paintings? You've got to be kidding... he was gay and couldn't deal with it.

Cause as we know every closet case engulfs the majority of the influential countries in the world in a bloody war that has yet to be matched in history for death toll.

[budster101]

Uhm. I just meant he had some major inner turmoil and a very unhealthy way of dealing with it...

[CRASH HARDDRIVE]

Funny!

But benny~tow should be getting fuXored when his people turn on him before the nukes come out. No way he gets to leave the game voluntarily.

[CreepingDeth]

Ahh…the memories. It's 2003…[dream sequence]

I'm a WC3 noob and I'm playing as the Undead in a 4 v 4. 4 v 4's are nice…unless you're on the flank. Then it's a bitch. Well, it was a quiet game. People were attacked, but it wasn't all-out rape. It's just an average game. As I remember, the player on the top of the map (we're all on the right side) lagged out and someone had to work two shifts. Well me and the bottom guy work out way to the other side. It goes back and forth for a little while with some skirmishes in the middle near the enemy's bases. But then the top two basses get ****ed…big time. But while that's happening, us 3 destroy the middle two bases and wipe out the bottom guy, but their workers escape. My base is attacked, but I hold off until my mine gives away. By this time, tow enemy players have left, and the remaining 2 take up bases on the middle areas of our side. I set up around 3 expansions on some mines. Of course they find them, but not before I rack up some nice riches. My other two allies find bases in different parts. But the enemy wipes them out, too. They survive and with enough money for heroes. An hour passes of uneasy silence, and I scout with a shade to see what's goin on. Apparently, we did not kill the middle two bases. They hid their workers and rebuilt. So naturally, with 14k in gold, I build up huge defenses and build an army of frost wyrms. I figure that I spent in a hour doing hit-n-run attacks with fully upgraded wyrms on the left side's bases. With only one player remaining on my enemy's side, I move in for the kill. I have my two allies use whatever money they have to build a huge decoy force. The enemy on the hill sees a few grunts and draws his whole force out (big, large, good combos, and fully upgraded) to take care of a handful of grunts. Of course, a few land mines and other stationary **** was put there to buy me time. I handy little shade told me that he had left a base with nothing around the perimeter in terms of defense. Perfect. In a cocky way, I split up the group of 12 frost wyrms and bait him with 2 on his north side. Of course he's like, 'WTF. You're still alive? We totally owned your ass three hours ago." Cocky bastard. 12 Frost wyrms attacking a town hall never looked so sweet. With that little frost breath thing, I set them to hold their positions and attack building so he couldn't produce ****. "You ****ing hacked!" I shot back saying, "Dumbass, you didn't kill me. Didn't you check the bottom left mine? Dipshit" *Player leaves the game*

So basically, my team had been reduced to nothing, one ally left, and they had a stronger source of income, more defense, more units, and more bases. It was one hell of a comeback. Complete with trash talk, hit-n-run, and a nice finish.

Anyone familiar with RTS's, SC and WC specifically, all have that game that is so rewarding, so long, and so dynamic. I wish Blizzard would hurry up with that new SC RTS…

[JoshuaZ]

T0J0: Genki desu ka? boku no pantsu wa doko desuka? kawaii desu ne!

[Zimphire]

Originally Posted by JoshuaZ

T0J0: Genki desu ka? boku no pantsu wa doko desuka? kawaii desu ne!

In english next time.

[Atomic Rooster]

Eisenhower entered the game way too early.

And what about Poland?

[CreepingDeth]

Poland was one of those neutral creep-type players I guess. I mean, it consisted of horses and dude with bad armor…definitely something you kill in a RTS for Hero experience.

[budster101]

CreepingDeth. Before you go off and make a foolish blanket statement like that, get past your 20th birthday ok? Being of Polish decent where my relatives fought in that War bravely, I would consider what you said quite the insult.

Next you'll insult the other side of my family the Italians.

[CreepingDeth]

I'm just sayn man, Poland's army, unfortunatly, was not up to snuff in September, 1940. They're not mentioned in TI's post, so I can't really think of where they would fit in, assuming they were left out deliberately. Then again, if France is mentioned, Poland should be as well. Ahh, perhaps you should…um…consider the context here. We're talking about games nerds who don't like D&D's play. Lighten up dude.

I'm part Italian. My grandpa has quite the tan. Hehe.

[budster101]

Mine too. Watch your wording, I can't see your expression or hear your tonality, so I base it on your maturity level which is known, (Something on my ass thread).

[CreepingDeth]

It was better than throwing knives at cardboard boxes.

P.S. …Don't ****ing assume that I'm some little immature prick. Care to read some writing?

Bah…I'm gonna go watch that replay again.

[Zimphire]

hiss.. honk...

[Warung]

LollLlerz!1!!

Damn good find.

[scottiB]

tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: wtf is nukes?
T0J0: holy ****holy****hoyl****!
*T0J0 has been eliminated.*

Funniest thing I've read in a long, long time.