[Kerrigan]

A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

Rodney Dangerfield

I found this gem on Google's homepage (google.com/ig), and I recalled Rodney Dangerfield's quotes from his ridiculous movies. I rarely laugh at things on the internet, but I honestly found that line funny. Does anyone else have some genuinely funny quotes, from Rodney or elsewhere?

[suvsr4terrorists]

I'm usually amused by Ben Franklin's quotes:

http://www.ushistory.org/franklin/quotable/quote04.htm

Keep clicking next quote.

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Heh.

[lavar78]

"Bill, you're jumping to conclusions."
"Dave, I stand still—the conclusions jump to me!"

Dave Nelson and Bill McNeal from NewsRadio, of course

It's even better with Hartman's delivery.

[suvsr4terrorists]

The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason. Oooohhhh nice.

[Dale Sorel]

If you want to se Rodney at his best (IMO), go buy Caddyshack on DVD. Twenty years later and I still have to laugh out loud at that guy

[JoshuaZ]

Dangerfield is great in Caddy Shack. Honestly I enjoy his jokes more today then 5 years ago. They get better with age.

[suvsr4terrorists]

I like the 'back to school' movie too, filmed @ uw madison. It's pretty funny.

random quotes (not from above movie)

"I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back."

"Boy were we poor, if I wasn't born a boy I would of had nothing to play with."

"I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west."

Heh. You guys ever see old Mae West movies? Seems like she would have gotten along with Rodney really well... kinda similar dry senses of humor. Mae West was the ****.



"Good sex is like good Bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. "

"Mae: "How tall are you ?"
Man: "Six foot seven."
Mae: "Well, let's forget about the six foot and talk about the seven inches".

[wdlove]

All the above are great to brighten the day.

[Randman]

A girl phoned me the other day and said... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met!

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.

RIP, Rodney.

[Dale Sorel]

Originally Posted by suvsr4terrorists

"I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west."

[sek929]

As a side note Rodney smoked pot since he was 13.

By the end of his life he smoked upwards of ten joints a day to ease him from pain.

"The last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it!"
"Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity."

[Y3a]

"I just bought myself a used car...found my wifes clothes in the back seat!"

[cjrivera]

Remember his song form the 80's, "Rappin' Rodney"?

I told my doctor, Dr. Vinne Boom Botz, i wanted to stop aging, he game me a gun.
Steak and sex my favorite pair. I get them both the same way - very rare.
I called the Suicide Prevention Hotline, they put me on hold.

He was also good as Larry Burns (Mr. Burns' son on the Simpsons)
I don't get no regard. No regard at all.