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mac-kerouac · Oct 19, 2005, 09:18 PM

Do you have a favorite insult that does not include profanity?

I work in a school so I have to watch my mouth around the "yoots"

I've become fond of the word: "knuckle-head" It expresses a certain amount of displeasure with the recipient, but is also mildly humorous.

Got any other I can add to my list?

villalobos · 05:37 AM

nm.

qnxde · Oct 19, 2005, 09:32 PM

blithering idiot.

rickey939 · Oct 19, 2005, 09:34 PM

Anal drip.

Dork. · Oct 19, 2005, 09:38 PM

Dork?

mac-kerouac · Oct 19, 2005, 09:40 PM

…Good ones! Sometimes in extreme circumstances I’ll resort to sphincter or hemorrhoid.

Ghoser777 · Oct 19, 2005, 10:42 PM

I keep the name calling in my head so I look nuts when I chuckle to myself - if they think I'm crazy, then they will fear me... FEAR ME!

DeathMan · Oct 19, 2005, 10:46 PM

scruffy looking nerf-herder.

also, instead of names you can use the more civilized method of demeaning, talking to one's self. Mary Poppins did it a lot.

youth truly is wasted on the young.

or

ignorance is bliss I suppose.

qnxde · Oct 19, 2005, 11:17 PM

Abuse Clerk: "What do you want?"

Client: "Well I was told outside that.."

Abuse Clerk: "Don't give me that you snotty faced heap of parrot droppings!"

Client: "What!?"

Abuse Clerk: "Shut your festering gob you tit! Your type really makes my puke - you vacuous, toffee nosed, mal-odorant pervert!"

waxcrash · Oct 19, 2005, 11:28 PM

Fanny bandit

…heard it on Family Guy.

Artful Dodger · Oct 20, 2005, 12:07 AM

anal leper
semen nostril
shi-ite
sh*thead (pronounced: shith E-odd)
illiterate rectum

Rev2Liv · Oct 20, 2005, 12:22 AM

ass kisser = brown nose

Generally, we use movie character names or names of movies as euphemisms. For example

Jerry Maguire= someone who has found his conscience
Tom Cruise = going postal
MIlton = socially inept (from Office Space)
Arli$$ = sleazeball

The list goes on and on, but this is how we break the monotony of the office environment and endear ourselves to each other at times.

-Ben

loki74 · Oct 20, 2005, 12:22 AM

Originally Posted by DeathMan

scruffy looking nerf-herder.

Gah! Beat me to it!!

....."hurting hurt bag of hurt." I'm not exactly sure where I heard this, I believe that my brother was once called this on a VG forum, but I could be mistaken.

Sage · Oct 20, 2005, 12:44 AM

Jerkface
Dumbnut
Poohead

Or, one of my favorites from a Dilbert comic: Fetid pile of compost.

Cubeoid · Oct 20, 2005, 02:50 AM

Ass-face
Urine-head
Feces-bag
Jerkface
Jerkhead
Jerkwad
umm.. that's it I think.

ShotgunEd · Oct 20, 2005, 06:26 AM

I heard this one on neighbours;

bogan.

as in, shut up you bogan.

i think its australian or something.

Kevin · Oct 20, 2005, 06:33 AM

knob slobber

Doofy · Oct 20, 2005, 06:33 AM

Originally Posted by waxcrash

Fanny bandit

…heard it on Family Guy.

Heh. On this side of the pond that wouldn't be an insult.

Doofy · Oct 20, 2005, 06:36 AM

"Kenneth" - as in, "you're a right Kenneth, aren't you?"

If the subject's name actually is Kenneth, substitute "Trevor".

(note to any MacNN "Kens": Sorry. It's not my fault if you allow idiot landlords to share your name)

Cubeoid · Oct 20, 2005, 06:42 AM

Originally Posted by Kevin

knob slobber

Might be a common derivation of the popular "knob jockey"

Millennium · Oct 20, 2005, 06:43 AM

Back when I was in third grade, I thought I had come up with the ultimate insult: "butthole".

OK, so it turns out not to have been original at all, but I didn't know that at the time; I'd never heard it before.

jersey · Oct 20, 2005, 07:43 AM

I prefer " bag of meat"

Or when I really need that extra little bit..."vaginal blood bubble".

ghporter · Oct 20, 2005, 07:49 AM

"Doot-brain." I like it on a lot of levels.

N.B.: a "doot" is an undefined word-it can mean whatever you want it to mean.

residentEvil · Oct 20, 2005, 08:06 AM

rock(s) = as in, dumb as a rock/dumb as rocks. short and to the point. fits in well at most places that have CSRs.

RAILhead · Oct 20, 2005, 09:47 AM

Stump-dumb is one of my personal favorites.

SVass · Oct 20, 2005, 10:38 AM

Incredible (as opposed to saying BS)

acadian · Oct 20, 2005, 10:44 AM

"knock kneed ball licker"
"ass bandit"
"dipwich"
"butt munch"

...and the all time classic.... "stoopid head"

waxcrash · Oct 20, 2005, 10:50 AM

Originally Posted by Doofy

Heh. On this side of the pond that wouldn't be an insult.

How about butt pirate?

rickey939 · Oct 20, 2005, 10:59 AM

Douche wad.

Gator Lager · Oct 20, 2005, 10:59 AM

ha, here are some goods ones. the page takes a few seconds to load.
http://www.corsinet.com/braincandy/insult.html

acadian · Oct 20, 2005, 10:59 AM

"meat sack"
"ass puppet"
"tosser"
"ponce"
"WOG"

Doofy · Oct 20, 2005, 11:12 AM

Originally Posted by waxcrash

How about butt pirate?

That'd work.

Locally we tend to use "chutney ferret" for such an insult.

OreoCookie · Oct 20, 2005, 11:31 AM

Just be arrogant in your tone and voice.

To unruly sales minion: `I'm waiting.'
Or to someone trying to shut you up: `I'm not finished.'

If you hit the right tone, it's much more effective than a (non-)profane insult.

Kevin · Oct 20, 2005, 12:16 PM

Originally Posted by RAILhead

Stump-dumb is one of my personal favorites.

Ahah I was talking to my ex on AIM when I read this. Her last name happens to be Stump

Kevin [1:09 PM]:
Ahahah someone started a thread in MacNN about safe names to call people...

One person offered "stump-dumb"
Kevin [1:09 PM]:
HEH
CS [1:11 PM]:
whathte**** is that supposed to mean?
CS [1:13 PM]:
that person should be tied up in a room and forced to listen to Voivod.
CS [1:13 PM]:
gotta get that sheot of the iPod.
Kevin [1:14 PM]:
Voivod?! What CD?

Oisín · Oct 20, 2005, 12:29 PM

I've always had a weakness for the word 'nincompoop'.

Originally Posted by ShotgunEd

I heard this one on neighbours;

bogan.

as in, shut up you bogan.

i think its australian or something.

It is indeed. It's not a particularly effective insult, though. It's sort of like saying, “Shut up, you Texan” (where “Shut up, you redneck” would be the more efficient thing to say).

RAILhead · Oct 20, 2005, 01:00 PM

I also find myself using "sorry sack of crap" a lot, too.

Maury

besson3c · Oct 20, 2005, 01:11 PM

celery nose

rickey939 · Oct 20, 2005, 01:14 PM

Ass chigger.

besson3c · Oct 20, 2005, 01:28 PM

celery nose

BlueSky · Oct 20, 2005, 01:39 PM

Originally Posted by OreoCookie

Or to someone trying to shut you up: `I'm not finished.'

I tried that with a traffic-court judge once (really). Didn't work at all.

ShotgunEd · Oct 20, 2005, 01:51 PM

Originally Posted by Oisín

I've always had a weakness for the word 'nincompoop'.

It is indeed. It's not a particularly effective insult, though. It's sort of like saying, “Shut up, you Texan” (where “Shut up, you redneck” would be the more efficient thing to say).

Is it bad I want to be a bogan now?

DeathToWindows · Oct 20, 2005, 04:35 PM

Oh do shut up you syphillic pile of goat-raping badger crap!

You pile of dung!
You glue-sniffing, crack-headed mesomorph.

alphasubzero949 · Oct 20, 2005, 04:38 PM

Window lickers.

rickey939 · Oct 20, 2005, 04:42 PM

Butt muncher.

Kevin · Oct 20, 2005, 05:26 PM

Originally Posted by besson3c

celery nose

That is right up there with watermelon hair, and carrot eyes

waxcrash · Oct 20, 2005, 06:08 PM

Originally Posted by rickey939

Butt muncher.

Pillow biter. Turd burglar.

Oisín · Oct 20, 2005, 06:09 PM

Originally Posted by waxcrash

Pillow biter.

Hadn't heard this one before. Must remember.

acadian · Oct 20, 2005, 06:46 PM

Tit Clutching Ass Monkey

cpt kangarooski · 07:28 PM

**** ****ing **** ****.

(And what's with all these ****ing 'connection close' errors? ****!)

PBG4 User · Oct 20, 2005, 07:30 PM

Before Beavis & Butt-head I used to call people bung slurps. Now it's just bunghole.

Regarding the VBB (vaginal blood burp) I've always known it as a VBF (Vaginal Blood Fart). Seems to imply more of a projectile type motion.

My wife used to call me a poopyhead when I did something stupid.