[Kerrigan]

Back when I used to take Latin courses, I used to have to translate short poems from a satirist whose name I cannot remember.

His poems were always short, just a few lines, and they offered scathing, concise criticism of stereotypical subjects. As best I can remember, they went something like this: "Matella, you are a woman who likes to go to fashionable parties, but your friends laugh at you behind your back because you are so fat, and your husband sleeps with other women".

Of course that is not actually one of his poems, but they sounded a lot like that. Can anyone help me figure out which Roman satirist this is?

[Diggory Laycock]

Catullus?

[Stradlater]

Originally Posted by Diggory Laycock

Catullus?

Catullus was more about the defiling of orifices, but perhaps...

[Kerrigan]

Yes, thank's, that's the one. Obviously my memory of him is very rusty, but looking through his poems I can recall some of my favourites:

Rufa of Bologna and Rufulus screw:
she's the wife of Menenus, quite often whom you
catch snatching her dinner from pyres of the dead
chasing up all fallen pieces of bread.
The unshaven cremator soon beats her head.

I find that some of his poems are so insulting and frank that they have a surreal quality to them, which I like.

[Oisín]

Lugete, O Veneres Cupidinesque
et quantum est hominum venustiorum:
passer mortuus est meae puellae,
passer deliciae meae puellae,
que plus illa oculis suis amabat
nam mellitus erat suamque norat
ipsam tam bene quam puella matrem,
nec sese a gremio illius movebat,
sed circumsiliens, modo huc, modo illuc;
ad solam dominam usque pipiabat
qui nunc it per iter tenebricosum
illud, unde negant redire quemquam.
At vobis male sit, malae tenebrae,
orci, quae omnia bella devoratis:
tam bellum mihi passerem abstulitis.
O, factum male! O, miselle passer!
Tua nunc opera meae puellae
flendo turgiduli rubent ocelli!


Best description of impotens ever.

[Kerrigan]

If I had 4 hours and a Latin/English dictionary I'm sure I could translate that poem Saddly I have to rely on pre-translated English poems.

If I could put my d**k in anyone I'd put it in Victius.
He is quite a verbose speaker and flatulent.
If you used to be (or possessed) a deer his language comes.
Curiosity and creepiness linger on his carpet.
If everyone doesn't see all of your beauty, Victius,
hear this: No one is as cute or as efficient.

[Oisín]

Originally Posted by Kerrigan

If I had 4 hours and a Latin/English dictionary I'm sure I could translate that poem

I'm sure a quick Google search would yield an equally effective result.

Yup, right I was. It's rather crude, but it's not too far-flowing, and it gets the message across.

[DeathToWindows]

Yeah, this is Catullus's "Little Sparrow"... I remember translating this in Latin II last semester. Now doing Pliny.

He's deeply amusing...

[Chuckit]

I was going to guess Martial. I've always liked his stuff. A couple of samples from Wikipedia:

"Rumor says, Chiona, that you are a virgin
and that nothing is purer than your fleshly delights.
Nevertheless, you do not bathe with the correct part covered:
if you have the decency, move your panties onto your face."

"You say to me, Cerylus, that my writings are crude. It's true.
But that's only because I write about you."

[11011001]

Originally Posted by Chuckit

I was going to guess Martial. I've always liked his stuff. A couple of samples from Wikipedia:

"Rumor says, Chiona, that you are a virgin
and that nothing is purer than your fleshly delights.
Nevertheless, you do not bathe with the correct part covered:
if you have the decency, move your panties onto your face."

"You say to me, Cerylus, that my writings are crude. It's true.
But that's only because I write about you."

Burn!! Holly ***t!

[Millennium]

Ovid, perhaps? Consider the Ars Amatoria and similar works; he skewered practically every writer and genre known in his time.