[Spliffdaddy]

I'm quite certain that if I wasn't under the influence of a half-dozen long island iced teas you wouldn't be reading this. Tomorrow, without a doubt, I'll regret having told you.

Natasha is a very pretty girl. She has a wonderful sense of humor, much like mine. She likes to watch people. In fact she loves watching people. That's how I met her. A few weeks ago I did a google search for 'smoking nightlife tampa', which yielded perhaps five results - courtesy of a statewide smoking ban, mostly. I chose one of the rare few bar/restaurants that allowed smoking....and I checked it out. Naturally, the establishment didn't allow inside smoking. Which kinda pissed me off. How the hell do people drink and not smoke? what would be the point?

To make matters worse, it was a 'sports bar'. I really don't like sports. And the theme seemed to be primarily ice hockey. WTF? One of the hottest areas in North America has a decent ice hockey team. Go figure. So I grabbed a newspaper and focused on that, instead. Nobody likes ice hockey, anyways. It ranks alongside three-man luge in the bottom-feeding food chain of sports.

So there I sat, in a place that was the polar opposite of where I'd rather have been. But the food was exceptionally good. Although I had to trek outside for a smoke, from time to time. Smokers are a tight-knit group, ya know. We have something in common before we even meet. Which is more than most folks can say. A kind of mutual respect - like you'd see in heroin junkies.

I haven't lived here all that long. Maybe a month or so. Actually, it's just temporary. I retired late last year and pretty much do whatever I want. So I moved to Tampa where it's always warm and sunny, in order to ride out the Winter months. Perhaps in the Spring I'll head back to Kentucky and build some houses again. Perhaps I won't. There's really no telling what I might do. I like it when life drags me around by the arm. Contrary to what other folks say not to let happen. Real freedom isn't something you plan for, after all.

Anyhow, Natasha was playing one of those video games you often find on bars. You put in a dollar and choose from one of like fifteen games which all require hand-eye coordination and mental accuity. Which is probably the very last sort of games you'd be inclined to play at a bar. But she played those games. And she always got the high score. Which is how I discovered her name.

While I watched her play, and ignored the pointless ice hockey games, she would occasionally look over at me and smile. It cost her some points everytime she looked. But she still got the high score. I ordered her a drink, mostly because nobody else did - and I didn't think it was right for a pretty girl to buy her own drinks. Everybody there knew her, it seemed. So I felt kinda stupid, figuring everybody thought I was hitting on her. I really wasn't. She looked about ten years too young to be interested in my 39 year old ass.

When she finished her game and entered her name under #1, she asked if I would like to go for a drive. At first I politely declined, citing the fact that I'd just ordered a burger. She told the waitress to put my burger in a to-go box. So, then, I had no valid excuse for not going for a drive.

We spent the next few hours talking and laughing as if we had known each other all our lives. I don't think I ever had a better time. Except for the time I spent with her in the weeks since that first night. We were perfect together, in my estimation. Except for the fact that nobody else would understand our relationship. Not our parents, not our families, not half of the three hundred million mofos in the country. If it was just us, it would work.

She decided it was too much sacrifice to continue a relationship that only two people understood. And I decided the same thing at the same time - only she said it first. Yeah, maybe I'll see her occasionally. I couldn't imagine never spending time with her again. Life sometimes leads you around by the arm, if you let it. And sometimes, just for kicks, it pairs up a white guy and a black girl whose families would never approve.

[CharlesS]

Oh, for God's sake. If you get along as well as you say, and you're breaking up with her just because she's black?! Hell, I wish I could meet someone I enjoyed being around that much and who was available.

You're 39 and you still let your parents micromanage your life to this extent?

[DigitalEl]

Nobody likes ice hockey, anyways. It ranks alongside three-man luge in the bottom-feeding food chain of sports.

I'll give you a pass on the puck bashing considering you're from Kentucky/Florida and maybe you didn't grow up with it. Personally, I think football is teh suXXor, but millions of Americans would disagree. Whatever.

Back on topic... If your families would distance you because of who you choose to love, then it's time to distance yourself from your families. Frak 'em. Sometimes it's hard to understand people's thinking on such matters. Of course, my black family and my wife's white family just broke bread together for the holiday. We all laughed at our goofy 2-year-old son/grandson/nephew, drank wine and watched football (ugh!) and not once did race come into play. Dude, if you like this girl, go for it and don't worry what others think. Live YOUR life and seek YOUR happiness.

I've dated white women and black women. People are people. Strangers in Pittsburgh would stare, but that's one of about 10-thousand reasons I had to get out of there. There are a-holes everywhere, but I've found the further west you go, the less of an issue it is. I honestly have never noticed the hushed whispers or caught the stares in Denver, Phoenix, San Francisco or Las Vegas. Hell, even in Kansas City race was never an issue in who I dated.

Any of you Europeans care to weigh in? Are interracial couples unusual in London, Paris, Madrid? What about you Canadians? I know racism isn't just an American thing, but it's still pretty, um, popular in parts of this country.

I took a short post and have edited it about 3 times with more random stuff. Sorry to get long-winded on ya.

As for whether a pretty girl should buy her own drinks? Hell, many of them...

[rant deleted so as not to derail your thread]

[Spliffdaddy]

I have a great deal of respect for my parents - even when they're wrong. She has a great deal of respect for her parents - even when they're wrong. Age hasn't got much to do with it.

It's a difficult choice to make. Do you abandon those who love you the most for an opportunity to love someone else?

I wish she didn't feel the way she does. Mostly it was her choice, but I can't seem to blame her for it. In a perfect world it wouldn't be unrealistic to believe things would work out alright.

What would you trade your family for?

[ShortcutToMoncton]

This sounds like clichéd and preachy life-lesson advice, and as someone who hates that I apologize in advance.

But your excuse is total bullshi†. Are you telling me that BOTH your and her families couldn't accept your choices, and forced the both of you to choose between each other or them? In that case, I think a family who forces you to make that choice is no real family at all.

The whole situation sounds like something out of a cheesy movie. Are you sure you're not Tom Cruise dressed up as a sumarai?

greg

[Spliffdaddy]

Yeah, I've seen movies based on the same subject matter but I forget how they end. I never paid much attention to them.

We're both adults and we're perfectly capable of making informed choices. In this case it was apparent that the bad likely outweighed the good. Some chances aren't worth taking. I don't have a great track record of choosing the 'right girl' to begin with. Hell, I like 'em all.

A selfish person would always choose to do what makes them happy - disregarding the feelings of others. She's not a selfish person. I like her even more because of that. There's no way I would let her alienate her parents just to be with me. Honestly, I'm not all that great. There's a real possibility she would arrive at the same conclusion, given enough time to figure it out. All the others did.

But anyhow, I really wasn't seeking advice. I just wanted to share something that happened to me. Something I never in a million years would have thought would happen to me. Makes me wonder what else life has in store.

[The Godfather]

If she is as special as you described in the first post, you would have to wait longer for another girl that makes you feel the same, than the time your parents learn to love the black girl.

You are underestimating your mom and dad, I think.

[Rolling Bones]

Read four or five lines and fell asleep.

[Ratm]

^^^^ lol

You have to remember folks, he comes from Kentucky. One of if not the most racists places in the U.S.

Trust me she knew what kind of person you are. Let me guess, you sit on your ass drinking and smoking weed all day--the favorite pass time of the people from Kentucky.

[Face Ache]

Eventually you would have found out about her penis and things would have gone sour.

Sports bar. Video games. Think about it.

[goMac]

I dated a Natasha in Kindergarten.

[Cubeoid]

dated... in Kindergarten? care to elaborate???! :confusion:

[Doofy]

That's pathetic Spliffy.
You like the girl, the girl likes you. Who cares what your families think? I never thought I'd be needing to tell you to "grow a set, dude".

[Mastrap]

Originally Posted by Doofy

That's pathetic Spliffy.
You like the girl, the girl likes you. Who cares what your families think? I never thought I'd be needing to tell you to "grow a set, dude".

Quoted for emphasis.

Spliff, you of all people. I'm disappointed.

[RobOnTheCape]

Reminded me of the great dialogue between "C" and Sonny in "A Bronx Tale". Go for it. Just make sure she unlocks that door for you.