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AtomicMac · Dec 17, 2005, 08:37 PM

I have befriended, through shrewd social maneuvering, this girl who is arguably the most prolific whore in my county. I plan on losing my virginity to her. i want to make a good impression so please help me pick some songs that will serve as the soundtrack for the event. i will burn the suggestions on to a cd and have it in my pocket whenever I am around her. I expect this to go done either tomorrow or monday night.

thank you for your support.

rickey939 · Dec 17, 2005, 08:43 PM

United States of Whatever - Liam Lynch

Trust me...it's gold.

KeriVit · Dec 17, 2005, 08:45 PM

I'm not sure if I support you losing your virginity to a whore. But I'm sure the boys will chime in.

My 2¢- anything Dave Matthews. Come into me...

No wait- that's Crash Into Me.

euchomai · Dec 17, 2005, 08:56 PM

Well, it's your first time so I'd suggest a VERY SHORT song. Most young guys have trained themselves to go off rather quickly by their furious masturbation quickie habits. So be prepared for that first off.

AtomicMac · Dec 17, 2005, 09:00 PM

rickey,
thank you. i am hesitant to put this on the playlist. it may startle her But i will trust you.

Keri,

thank you also, That is a great song and i am looking for some songs that have a romantic element so it's on the list. About losing it to a whore......she is hot as hell and i have condoms (a must have with her).

James L · Dec 17, 2005, 09:08 PM

Originally Posted by euchomai

Well, it's your first time so I'd suggest a VERY SHORT song.

AtomicMac · Dec 17, 2005, 09:08 PM

Originally Posted by euchomai

Well, it's your first time so I'd suggest a VERY SHORT song. Most young guys have trained themselves to go off rather quickly by their furious masturbation quickie habits. So be prepared for that first off.

excellent point. in preparation, i will be relieving myself until I am shooting blanks starting now. I will engage in foreplay for about 14 mins or so and then go for the tunnel of love. I'll last about 4 minutes. i will be thinking of rosie o'donnell while performing so that will add another 3 minutes. So in total, i am looking for 21 minutes of music.

James L · Dec 17, 2005, 09:16 PM

Originally Posted by AtomicMac

excellent point. in preparation, i will be relieving myself until I am shooting blanks starting now. I will engage in foreplay for about 14 mins or so and then go for the tunnel of love. I'll last about 4 minutes. i will be thinking of rosie o'donnell while performing so that will add another 3 minutes. So in total, i am looking for 21 minutes of music.

The man has a plan.

KeriVit · Dec 17, 2005, 09:16 PM

Fine- I'll keep going

Red Light Special by TLC

KeriVit · Dec 17, 2005, 09:18 PM

Al Green- I'll Take you There

rickey939 · Dec 17, 2005, 09:18 PM

Originally Posted by AtomicMac

excellent point. in preparation, i will be relieving myself until I am shooting blanks starting now. I will engage in foreplay for about 14 mins or so and then go for the tunnel of love. I'll last about 4 minutes. i will be thinking of rosie o'donnell while performing so that will add another 3 minutes. So in total, i am looking for 21 minutes of music.

KeriVit · Dec 17, 2005, 09:25 PM

Oh Joy- what a ladies man...
Oh and eff off skeptics, I know. Trust me- better than most of you probably

ShortcutToMoncton · Dec 17, 2005, 09:42 PM

Hahahaha, this guy is the greatest.

I am, if I may be so egotistical to say, the greatest evAR at having the all-important mood album close on hand, for instant push-button action on BOTH hands if you know what I mean.

But, to paraphrase Leon Phelps, "Play some Al Green and slap her on the ass a little, she likes that."

Indeed. Truer words are rarely spoken.

greg

(Ps. I recommend the discs "Call Me," "I'm Still in Love With You" or "Let's Stay Together" for classic Al Green goodness.)

ShortcutToMoncton · Dec 17, 2005, 09:52 PM

Oh yah, funny story: a couple years ago my roommate met a girl from another area of Canada (that I introduced him to, natch), so after a few months of intarweb frustration she came out to Edmonton for Christmas.

I was supposed to be out of the apartment of course, but a scheduling error with some friends left me stranded, with -3o C temperatures ensuring I couldn't take a walk. So I threw on some music and they disappeared off into his room. After a half hour or so I got bored, and started playing around with iTunes. I managed to hook up the Rolling Stones' "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" and "You Can't Always Get What You Want," Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls," Stereophonic's "She Takes Her Clothes Off" and NIN's "Closer" before he storms out, half-naked, opens my door, shouts "WHAT THE FUçK!" and stomps back into his bedroom.

I was amused.

greg

far200 · Dec 17, 2005, 10:03 PM

liz phair- blowjob queen .... LoL ... that should put her in the mood ...... LoL .......

DeathToWindows · Dec 17, 2005, 10:22 PM

That is horrifing.

Spliffdaddy · Dec 17, 2005, 10:26 PM

Ying Yang - Saltshaker

Anything from Li'l Jon or Ludacris

Seriously though,

Pink Floyd - Great Gig in the Sky

Parliament - Erotic City

Sade - Paradise

brapper · Dec 17, 2005, 11:06 PM

hahahahaha

subego · Dec 17, 2005, 11:08 PM

Portishead - Dummy
Tricky - Maxinquaye
Poe - Hello
Anything by Moby

Way more than you need

BlueSky · Dec 17, 2005, 11:18 PM

Originally Posted by AtomicMac

I have befriended, through shrewd social maneuvering, this girl who is arguably the most prolific whore in my county.

Stop right there. Post of the week.

Railroader · Dec 17, 2005, 11:19 PM

American Idiot - Green Day

Albert Pujols · Dec 18, 2005, 01:14 AM

ludacris - hoes in my room

scaught · Dec 18, 2005, 01:48 AM

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy

Ying Yang - Saltshaker

Anything from Li'l Jon or Ludacris

Originally Posted by Albert Pujols

ludacris - hoes in my room

hells yes.

this is a first time. might as well get er done and over with. worry about perfection of the moment later. for now, give her the eastwood* and call it a night.

* the eastwood = get busy in the "doggie style" position. whilst throwing it to her, give her a good crack on the ass and let loose with a loud YE-AAAAAH!!! like you're rounding up cattle on the ponderosa.

d4nth3m4n · Dec 18, 2005, 02:41 AM

jenna jameson?

Kevin · Dec 18, 2005, 02:48 AM

Originally Posted by AtomicMac

most prolific whore in my county

Ok..

i want to make a good impression

Well that is going to be hard to do considering all the impressions that have been left in her before.

All you can do is hope you don't fall into it.

so please help me pick some songs that will serve as the soundtrack for the event.

Eye of the Tiger.

scaught · Dec 18, 2005, 03:05 AM

Originally Posted by Kevin

All you can do is hope you don't fall into it.

strap a 2x4 to your ass before "going in".

d4nth3m4n · Dec 18, 2005, 03:09 AM

final countdown- europe

UNTeMac · Dec 18, 2005, 03:10 AM

Here's a little polyphonic pornography for you...

Sex Mob - Slide Serenade
Massive Attack - Exchange
Garbage - #1 Crush

EDIT: Wear a damn condom!

Athens · Dec 18, 2005, 03:11 AM

Originally Posted by euchomai

Well, it's your first time so I'd suggest a VERY SHORT song. Most young guys have trained themselves to go off rather quickly by their furious masturbation quickie habits. So be prepared for that first off.

thats what viagra is for lol

Mastrap · Dec 18, 2005, 07:05 AM

Men who sleep with whores are called Johns. May I call you John yet?

RAILhead · Dec 18, 2005, 07:37 AM

Why hasn't anyone recommended "Trapped Under Ice" or "Blackened" by Metallica yet? Get with the program, n00bs!

Doofy · Dec 18, 2005, 08:31 AM

I'm gonna go with:

AC/DC: Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap.
AC/DC: The Jack (live version).
AC/DC: Up To My Neck In You.
Motorhead: No Class.
Bon Jovi: You Give Love A Bad Name.
Cher: Skin Deep.
David Lee Roth: I'm Easy.
Def Leppard: Another Hit And Run.
Dio: Caught In The Middle.
Dire Straits: Expresso Love.
Dire Straits: Your Latest Trick.
Gary Moore: Empty Rooms.
Genesis: In Too Deep.
GWAR: Bonesnapper.
Laura Brannigan: Self Control.
Led Zeppelin: Gallows Pole.
Megadeth: High Speed Dirt.
Motley Crue: Ten Seconds To Love.
Rhapsody: Triumph For My Magic Steel.
Senser: One Touch One Bounce.
Shania Twain: That Don't Impress Me Much.

scottiB · Dec 18, 2005, 08:41 AM

Originally Posted by d4nth3m4n

final countdown- europe

UNTeMac · Dec 18, 2005, 08:47 AM

Originally Posted by d4nth3m4n

final countdown- europe

http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/M...1&i=801587

andreas_g4 · Dec 18, 2005, 09:07 AM

Is this whole thread meant for real?

rickey939 · Dec 18, 2005, 09:08 AM

Originally Posted by andreas_g4

Is this whole thread meant for real?

Not without pictures...no.

Stradlater · Dec 18, 2005, 09:45 AM

Originally Posted by rickey939

Not without pictures...no.

Is that when you can be...proud...of him...®...?

I'll see you next time, on the...words...I write...on the Internet...WEB PAGE!

rambo47 · Dec 18, 2005, 11:25 AM

I would have something soft and slow, yet erotic, just as a backup. Old school, classical music. I suggest Ravel's Bolero. Get the 15 minute full version. It starts slow and builds nicely. 99¢ at the iTunes store!

far200 · Dec 18, 2005, 01:46 PM

Originally Posted by Mastrap

Men who sleep with whores are called Johns. May I call you John yet?

now that was funny

Stradlater · Dec 18, 2005, 02:07 PM

Originally Posted by rambo47

I would have something soft and slow, yet erotic, just as a backup. Old school, classical music. I suggest Ravel's Bolero. Get the 15 minute full version. It starts slow and builds nicely. 99¢ at the iTunes store!

10?

turtle777 · Dec 19, 2005, 09:21 AM

Thread of the year. Bookmarkinated.

-t

goMac · Dec 19, 2005, 12:28 PM

Originally Posted by d4nth3m4n

final countdown- europe

I'm sure that's what Gobe Bluth plays every time he "does it".

scaught · Dec 19, 2005, 07:38 PM

tonights the night, that he makes hiiiiiiiistoryyyyyyy. i do believe its truuuuuuuuuuuue.

(i cant wait to find out if this kid actually gets laid or not)

starman · Dec 19, 2005, 07:43 PM

Why did it take social engineering to befriend a whore?

KeriVit · Dec 19, 2005, 07:52 PM

Well- it's Monday night... how's it goin dude?

AtomicMac · Dec 19, 2005, 08:02 PM

The last day and half has been spent wooing. I went shopping with her yesterday for a couple hours, and I believe, sex is now imminent. I have made arrangements to watch the game at my buddy's house tonight and she will be there with all her friends, so I have put the following songs on cd just in case:

United States of Whatever - Liam Lynch
Al Green- I'll Take you There
liz phair- blowjob queen
parliament- erotic city
portishead-dummy
ludacris- hoe's in my room
bobby digital- domestic violence
def leopard-another hit and run
Ravel- Bolero

Definitely more than I need, as many of you have suggested, but I plan on prolonging this relationship until I go back to school (there are zero hot girls where I go), so hopefully the cd will get multiple usage.

Some really great suggestions. Thank you MacNN. I love you; I would prefer to lose my virginity to you.

Off I go...handle of Beam in hand.

AtomicMac · Dec 19, 2005, 08:10 PM

Originally Posted by KeriVit

Well- it's Monday night... how's it goin dude?

i will keep you abreast of any developments. I am off to my buddy's house now...

oh...one more thing...I think someone mentioned that this thread is useless with out pix. Since I am in the "aim to please" kinda mood I'll be happy to snap some photos of the event when it happens. I just need someone to host them. I'm late...So off I go....handle of beam in hand..and olympus stylus 300.

Mrjinglesusa · Dec 19, 2005, 08:19 PM

Originally Posted by AtomicMac

i will keep you abreast of any developments. I am off to my buddy's house now...

oh...one more thing...I think someone mentioned that this thread is useless with out pix. Since I am in the "aim to please" kinda mood I'll be happy to snap some photos of the event when it happens. I just need someone to host them. I'm late...So off I go....handle of beam in hand..and olympus stylus 300.

Remember American Pie?

Spliffdaddy · Dec 19, 2005, 08:38 PM

does she have an older sister?

ok, ok...get off my ass, folks.

what I meant to say is, is her mom hot?

rickey939 · Dec 19, 2005, 08:44 PM

Haha, good luck man!