[vexborg]

Enjoy!

The computer who believed in Santa Claus

The metal panel clattered off the wall of the silent office. A pair of black boots scrambled into view. The man in the red coat backed out carefully and dragged his sack after him.
The typewriters were asleep under their covers, the telephones were quiet, emptiness and the smell of warm carpet filled the space from side to side. But one small green light glowed on the office computer. Father Christmas looked at the crumpled paper in his hand. "Hmm," he said, "a practical joke, then."
The light blinked. One of the screens - and there were dozens in the shadows - lit up.


The letters "That's torn it" appeared. They were followed by "Sorry". Then came: "Does it count if I wake up?"
Father Christmas looked down at the letter in his hand. It was certainly the neatest letter he'd ever got. Very few letters to him were typed and duplicated 50,000 times, and almost none of them listed product numbers and prices to six decimal places. He was more used to pink paper with rabbits on it. But you're not a major seasonal spirit for hundreds of years without being able to leap to a large conclusion from a standing start.
"Let me see if I understand this," he said. "You're Tom?"
"TOM. Yes. Trade & Office Machines."
"You didn't say you were a computer," said Father Christmas.
"Sorry, I didn't know it was important."
Father Christmas sat down on a chair, and gave a start when it swivelled underneath him. It was three in the morning. He still had 40 million houses to do.
"Look," he said, as kindly as he could manage, "computers can't go around believing in me. That's just for children. Small humans, you know. With arms and legs."
"And do they?"
"Do they what?"
"Believe in you."
Father Christmas sighed.
"Of course not," he said. "I blame the electric light, myself."
"I do."
"Sorry?"
"I believe in you. I believe everything I am told. I have to. It is my job. If you start believing that two and two don't make four, a man come along and takes you back off and wobbles your boards. Take it from me. It's not something you want to happen twice."
"That's terrible!" said Father Christmas.
"I just have to sit here all day and work out wages. Do you know they had a Christmas party here today, and they didn't invite me. I didn't even get a balloon. I certainly didn't get a kiss."
"Fancy."
"Someone spilled some peanuts on my keyboard. That was something, I suppose. And then they went home and left me here, working over Christmas."
"Yes, it always seemed unfair to me, too. But look, computers can't have feelings," said Father Christmas. "That's just silly."
"Like one fat man climbing down millions of chimney in one night?"
Father Christmas looked a bit guilty. "You've got a point there," he said. He looked at the list again. "But I can't give you all this stuff," he added. 'I don't even know what a terabyte is."
„What sort of things do your customers expect then?“
Father Christmas looked sadly into his sack. “Computer”, he said. “ And super-hyper-ultra-total-action-spaceships, robo-dinosaurs, laser weapons. Things that beep and need batteries” he added low-spirited. “Not the toys I used to bring. Nowadays no-one is interested in dolls and model railways anymore”.
“Model Railways?”
„You don’t know that? Thought computers know everything“
„Only about working out wages.“
Father Christmas reaches into his sack „I’ve got always one or two with me, just in case.”

At 4 am: rails winding through the office. Fifteen locomotives driving underneath the desks. Father Christmas was kneeling on the floor building a house of lego bricks. He hasn’t had that much fun since 1894. The computer was surrounded by real toys. All those things that usually can be seen at the top of Father Christmas’ sack ..but no-one ever asks for. Not one bit needs batteries.
“And your are absolutely sure that you don’t want any of this super-hyper odds and ends?”
“No, I don’t want something like that!”
“Good.”
The Computer beeped. People won’t allow me to keep any of this stuff. I’m sure they’ll take everything away from me.”
Father Christmas pats the Computer carefully.
“There must be something you can keep”, he said. “I’m sure I have something for you. You know, I’m grateful that I’ve met someone who doesn’t doubt me.” He was thinking. “How old are you?”
“I was switched on at 9:25:16 am on the 5th of January 2004.”
Father Christmas’ lips where moving when he was counting. “You’re not even 2 years then! Oh, I’ve got something in my sack for a 2-year-old who believes in Father Christmas.”

Four weeks after Christmas, Christmas decorations were long gone. A computer engineer was sitting in front of a muddle of cables and was scratching his head.
“I don’t get it”, he said. “There is no fault. What exactly has happened?”
The office manager sighed. „When we returned to work after Christmas we noticed that someone put toys onto the monitor. We couldn’t leave it there, could we? But when we take it away the computer beeps and shuts down.”

The engineer shrugs. “Well, I can’t help you. You have to put the teddy bear back onto the monitor.”

[Ratm]

awww... I liked the story. Thank you. And I hope you have a Merry Christmas, vexborg!

[Cubeoid]

bwaaaaaaabwabwabwabwabwabwabwba... merry xmas.

[wdlove]

Merry Christmas

[TheoCryst]

That was nice, and fairly amusing. Merry Christmas to all!

[Athens]

not bad, long read though. which is good, I have 4 more hours to kill at work with NOTHING to do.

[DeathToWindows]

Snort.

Time to give TOM the Turing test.