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krillbee · 11:31 AM

Ever since I was about 14 (I'm now 21), I've struggled with addiction to the internet and computers. The result has been devestating. For the last 8 years of my life, I've experienced low amounts of social interaction.
My social interaction has been severly hampered. I feel that if I didnt get involved with computers, I would have had a girlfriend by now, or that I would actually have a variety of friends.

Its hard to see it as an evil though, because the internet can be used for so many good things as well. Its a great hobby, and a very inexpensive one. Its not like I'm addicted to computer games or porn or anything like that. I'm addicted to information. Reading things on the web, using forums, facebook, and other things. But on the otherhand, with me in particular, its hurting me.

I'm looking for a solution but I cant seem to find one. I own about 10 computers. A nice desktop PC, a nice laptop PC, 2 decent desktops on the side, a decent Mac, and 5 crappy machines sitting around that i should have sold about 6 months ago.
I cant just throw these computers away, because I've invested a lot into them. It doesnt feel like selling them would work, because I know I would hardly get a penny back (unless I put some time into selling them, instead of unloading them at some used computer shop)

Even if I did get rid of all my computers, I'm not sure if it would help me. For example: a few summers ago, I didnt have internet access for a few weeks or so, but as a result i found myself spending all my time at the school using their computers!!

Now I'm not sure if I would have kept that up or not on a long term basis. But... the scary thing is that the internet cant be escaped it seems, especially since I am still a student.

I really need to find a way out of this hole, because I want to become more social, meet some women, and catch up on everything I've missed out on in the last 8 years of my life.

Does anyone else suffer this problem, or has anyone?

12/12/06 UPDATE:
-Almost a year later and I'm still addicted

-Currently living at home with parents who have internet
-Need to find a job (ironically all my previous experience has been in IT, and here I am trying to wish the internet away)
-Down to 5 computers. an old powermac, a 2yr old laptop, a 2yr old desktop, and a couple desktops that are 4 years old.
-The plan: try selling all my computers but 1, like you people suggested long ago, and also only keep a computer that doesnt have an ethernet card (meaning my laptop and my mac have to go!)

euchomai · Jan 4, 2006, 03:52 PM

My advice is to not ask for advice from people on the internet, go out and talk to real people in real places about your problem.

Then again, I'm just a guy on the internet, so what do I know?

kmkkid · Jan 4, 2006, 03:57 PM

I spend a lot of time on computers, but I'd have to say my vice is alcohol

I spend more time in bars anymore than on the computer. Only time I really spend on computers are a few weeknight hours, and of course vacation time. Get out, have fun, get some fresh air

Also, working long hours could help curb the addiction.

rickey939 · Jan 4, 2006, 03:58 PM

Do you have any other hobbies?

krillbee · Jan 4, 2006, 03:58 PM

Originally Posted by euchomai

My advice is to not ask for advice from people on the internet, go out and talk to real people in real places about your problem.

Then again, I'm just a guy on the internet, so what do I know?

I've talked to the people that I feel like i can talk to about it, and have exhausted those possibilities. Most people just say "I dont know.. good question" when I bring this up.

I also think that perhaps people who use the internet and forums and things like that more, might be able to relate better and give better responses.

Ironically most of the people I see face to face, dont really have much of a desire for computers.

turtle777 · Jan 4, 2006, 04:00 PM

Sell all the PCs, keep one Mac and get a life !

-t

nredman · Jan 4, 2006, 04:00 PM

i'd say sell all your computers - except for one - hopefully keep a mac

then limit the amount of time you spend on it - maybe start with 4 hours a day and then go down and down - i'd say i spend about an hour a day on my computer - doing probably the same things you do - maybe you should try to find a computer user group to find other people who enjoy computers - maybe meet new friends and girls. when i first started college i used to spend alot of time on my computer but i also did other things - played sports, hung out with friends. thats all i can think of = good luck

kmkkid · Jan 4, 2006, 04:01 PM

I'm actually surprised you don't find computers boring by now. After 2 weeks vacation I am so bored of the computer it's scary. I've done the porn thing, it all looks the same now, I've done the forum thing, they all sound the same now, I've read the news.. well that's just depressing....

BlueSky · Jan 4, 2006, 04:01 PM

When I found myself relatively alone after too much time, I decided to make the computer work for me on a new level and put my stuff up at match.com and met someone. It's like using the addiction to get beyond the addiction. That's so goshdarn zen I can't stand it. Good luck with your search.

nredman · Jan 4, 2006, 04:01 PM

Originally Posted by turtle777

Sell all the PCs, keep one Mac and get a life !

-t

thats pretty much what i said - but i said it nicer

krillbee · Jan 4, 2006, 04:02 PM

Originally Posted by kmkkid

Get out, have fun, get some fresh air

Also, working long hours could help curb the addiction.

Its so cold out though!!! under freezing temp.

Right now I'm a student, my problem is that many times I fool around on the computer, and then do all my studying at the last minute!

Originally Posted by rickey939

Do you have any other hobbies?

Watching movies is pretty much my only other hobby at the moment, which isnt a hobby that really helps you meet people.

ort888 · Jan 4, 2006, 04:03 PM

I think you need to force yourself to do some other activities. Go camping for 2 weeks and completely unplug. Get a timer and force yourself to only 2 hours of internet a day. Make yourself go out. Find a woman online and go out with her.

I don't know, it probably sounds easy but there is no real solution. The problem is probably not actually computers and something much deeper. Have you tried any sort of counseling?

IceEnclosure · Jan 4, 2006, 04:04 PM

I don't know anyone(in my day to day face to face life) with as much desire for computers as myself.

I spend a damn lot of time in front of the computer absorbing information and content.

I also spend a lot of time out in the world drinking and being merry (with teh girls)

Make sure to have time for both, and a little bit of sleep.

work with two computers max, and go socialize.

*edited to seem more helpful

::maroma:: · Jan 4, 2006, 04:04 PM

One suggestion I'd like to make:

Throw away everything!

Ok, maybe not everything. I've been in your shoes somewhat, and recently I did this and it has helped me make some changes that I've needed to make for a long time but never really could bring myself to making them.

I moved into a new, smaller apartment so that helped me as well. I had a ton of crap, most of it computer related. And I was like you where I was addicted to my computer. I would spend all day at work on a computer and come home and spend all night on one. My social interaction was very minimal and getting smaller all the time. I actually didn't mind that too much, but I did mind letting myself get out of shape and not going out and experiencing the world like I wanted to.

I felt overwhelmed by all my "stuff", as if it were a shield that was preventing me from getting out. So when I moved I pretty much decided on what I needed and what I wanted. I found that about 90% of the crap I had I didn't need. So I threw it all away or gave it away. I made some sacrifices, but it was all for the greater good. At the same time I made an effort to simplify my lifestyle. Minimizing things as much as possible. Getting rid of the clutter, so to speak.

After doing this its almost as if the clouds have gone and I can see again. I feel lighter and more agile. I know it sounds weird but its true. I feel as if I have more room to do what I want now. And my addiction to computers and the internet and games have subsided. I still love and enjoy them, but they don't consume nearly as much time out of my life as they used to.

I'm not even sure if that made any sense, but basically I am suggesting that you start by cleaning house. Get rid of all those old computers, even if you take a loss on em. Keep only what you need. In a word: Simplify.

Rolling Bones · Jan 4, 2006, 04:08 PM

Talk to Kevin. Hmmmm? Maybe not. Blind leading the blind kinda thing.

Do you spank the monkey at your computer? Girlfriends are better. Find a girl with the same problem and wean each other off the intraweb.

Awesome!

rickey939 · Jan 4, 2006, 04:08 PM

Originally Posted by krillbee

Watching movies is pretty much my only other hobby at the moment, which isnt a hobby that really helps you meet people.

Sure it does...that is, if you go to the movie theatre to watch movies often.

krillbee · Jan 4, 2006, 04:09 PM

Originally Posted by turtle777

Sell all the PCs, keep one Mac and get a life !

-t

how can i sell my PCs without getting ripped off though? And what if it doesnt cure the problem? Remember, I can use computers at my school and the public library.
If my addiction isnt solved, then I would have been better off had I not sold my PCs!

Originally Posted by nredman

i'd say sell all your computers - except for one - hopefully keep a mac

then limit the amount of time you spend on it - maybe start with 4 hours a day and then go down and down - i'd say i spend about an hour a day on my computer - doing probably the same things you do - maybe you should try to find a computer user group to find other people who enjoy computers - maybe meet new friends and girls. when i first started college i used to spend alot of time on my computer but i also did other things - played sports, hung out with friends. thats all i can think of = good luck

limiting the amount of time spent is tricky. I've tried the gradual method like you are suggesting.

Also where can I find a computer user group that has people who are local, and both men and women? And a social group that meets up and is roughly in my age bracket?

Originally Posted by kmkkid

I'm actually surprised you don't find computers boring by now....

Unfortunately, this hobby seems to have an infinite lifespan.

Originally Posted by BlueSky

When I found myself relatively alone after too much time, I decided to make the computer work for me on a new level and put my stuff up at match.com and met someone. It's like using the addiction to get beyond the addiction. That's so goshdarn zen I can't stand it. Good luck with your search.

I'm on a site right now (not match.com) and although I've gotten some numbers from some women ive met online, but i never actually get around to calling them! Reason I dont? Mainly schoolwork and bad time management ( computer time tends to eat into my schedule)

Mastrap · Jan 4, 2006, 04:09 PM

See an addiction councillor. All addictions are a difficult thing to break without outside help. Having a professional helping you break the cycle will make it easier to succeed.

ort888 · Jan 4, 2006, 04:10 PM

You could also try getting a job working with computers. I used to love tinkering around and trying new things... until I got a job doing it. Now I just want the damn thing to work and thats it.

You would never find me trying to do something like load the BeOS on a computer today... but 7 years ago it sounded like a ton of fun. Today it sounds like work.

Meet people online. I met my wife online and we've been together for 6 years.

kmkkid · Jan 4, 2006, 04:10 PM

Get someone to set the parental control times so only they have the password, then limit the usage time

turtle777 · Jan 4, 2006, 04:13 PM

Originally Posted by krillbee

how can i sell my PCs without getting ripped off though?

You're getting ripped of RIGHT NOW. Ripped of your time and life.
Losing some money on selling the PCs won't be a loss in the long-run.

Honestly, you might need professional help.

-t

krillbee · Jan 4, 2006, 04:13 PM

Originally Posted by ort888

I think you need to force yourself to do some other activities. Go camping for 2 weeks and completely unplug. Get a timer and force yourself to only 2 hours of internet a day. Make yourself go out. Find a woman online and go out with her.

I don't know, it probably sounds easy but there is no real solution. The problem is probably not actually computers and something much deeper. Have you tried any sort of counseling?

I would go camping for 2 weeks, but I have things like school! Ive tried the timer method, with no success.

I havent taken counselling with this issue. I'm not sure if its really medically related, like depression or anything like that. And any other type of counselling might cost a lot of money, which I dont have.

Originally Posted by rickey939

Sure it does...that is, if you go to the movie theatre to watch movies often.

lol, i didnt know strangers made friends in movie theatres! Also that could become REAL expensive after awhile!!!

ort888 · Jan 4, 2006, 04:14 PM

http://www.google.com/search?client=...8&oe=UTF-8

rickey939 · Jan 4, 2006, 04:15 PM

Originally Posted by krillbee

limiting the amount of time spent is tricky. I've tried the gradual method like you are suggesting.

How far did you get before breaking down? Are you always stopping at a certain point that you cannot get past and then go back to the computer?

Last but not least, get a dial-up connection and use the cost savings to do social things. Trust me, that will cut down your time on the Internet, while also helping you on the social end. It's a win, win.

BlueSky · Jan 4, 2006, 04:16 PM

Originally Posted by Mastrap

See an addiction councillor. All addictions are a difficult thing to break without outside help. Having a professional helping you break the cycle will make it easier to succeed.

Yep, and there are counselors who specialize in internet addiction.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q...=Google+Search

krillbee · 04:24 PM

Originally Posted by ::maroma::

I'm not even sure if that made any sense, but basically I am suggesting that you start by cleaning house. Get rid of all those old computers, even if you take a loss on em. Keep only what you need. In a word: Simplify.

I'm glad that you have had as much success as you have. Your advice seems to be sound. The trick is letting myself throw away all those computers without receiving hardly a thing in return!

Originally Posted by ort888

You could also try getting a job working with computers. I used to love tinkering around and trying new things... until I got a job doing it. Now I just want the damn thing to work and thats it.

You would never find me trying to do something like load the BeOS on a computer today... but 7 years ago it sounded like a ton of fun. Today it sounds like work.

Meet people online. I met my wife online and we've been together for 6 years.

once i get out of school, that might be a good option.

Originally Posted by kmkkid

Get someone to set the parental control times so only they have the password, then limit the usage time

unfortunately that wont work, since I am a computer geek and can find my way around anything!

Originally Posted by turtle777

You're getting ripped of RIGHT NOW. Ripped of your time and life.
Losing some money on selling the PCs won't be a loss in the long-run.
-t

you have a good point.

Originally Posted by rickey939

How far did you get before breaking down? Are you always stopping at a certain point that you cannot get past and then go back to the computer?

Last but not least, get a dial-up connection and use the cost savings to do social things. Trust me, that will cut down your time on the Internet, while also helping you on the social end. It's a win, win.

I never am able to obey the limit whether it be 1 hour or 4 hours. I'm just plain sucked in.

the dial up idea will not work at the moment. I am at school, so they give us high speed access in our dorm rooms by default.

Gettheballandwinthegame · Jan 4, 2006, 04:22 PM

Sell all that crap on ebay, buy one nice laptop, and put everything on it. Then quit posting on the internet and start doing **** with your friends more often. Throw parties. Get your place looking decent and have socials.

rickey939 · Jan 4, 2006, 04:22 PM

Originally Posted by krillbee

The trick is letting myself throw away all those computers without receiving hardly a thing in return!.

The trick is not looking at the sale of the computers stricly in a monetary manner...instead, viewing the consolidation of the equipment as a way to get your social life back on track. That is worth a hell of a lot more than a few bucks.

kmkkid · Jan 4, 2006, 04:24 PM

So you want help and suggestions, yet you've debunked every offer. I can see why it's difficult.

BlueSky · Jan 4, 2006, 04:25 PM

Originally Posted by krillbee

I'm on a site right now (not match.com) and although I've gotten some numbers from some women ive met online, but i never actually get around to calling them! Reason I dont? Mainly schoolwork and bad time management ( computer time tends to eat into my schedule)

At some point you'll need to generate some kind of action; no one's going to work it out for you and hand it over. Generating something will involve some sacrificing and creating effective time management, if bad time management is a problem.

Ratm · Jan 4, 2006, 04:28 PM

Originally Posted by IceEnclosure

I also spend a lot of time out in the world drinking and being merry (with teh girls)

hopefully you don't say things like this to them out in the real world.

kmkkid · Jan 4, 2006, 04:29 PM

Originally Posted by BlueSky

At some point you'll need to generate some kind of action; no one's going to work it out for you and hand it over. Generating something will involve some sacrificing and creating effective time management, if bad time management is a problem.

So True.

krillbee · Jan 4, 2006, 04:29 PM

Originally Posted by BlueSky

Yep, and there are counselors who specialize in internet addiction.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q...=Google+Search

I'm not going to lie, seeing an addiction counselar sounds kind of scary and a lot of work, but maybe thats what it will have to come down to.

kmkkid · Jan 4, 2006, 04:32 PM

Originally Posted by krillbee

I'm not going to lie, seeing an addiction counselar sounds kind of scary and a lot of work, but maybe thats what it will have to come down to.

In the case of most addictions,YOU can't help YOURSELF

krillbee · Jan 4, 2006, 04:35 PM

Originally Posted by kmkkid

So you want help and suggestions, yet you've debunked every offer. I can see why it's difficult.

well, i guess the frustrating part is that most these things ive already tried, without success: (limiting my time on the comp, online dating, etc)

In regards to selling my computer parts, I plan on selling them, I just dont know how yet. In regards to counselling, maybe I'll just sign up with someone at my school, if possible.

Ratm · Jan 4, 2006, 04:39 PM

Originally Posted by krillbee

I'm not going to lie, seeing an addiction counselar sounds kind of scary and a lot of work, but maybe thats what it will have to come down to.

Don't look at it in that way. They have the ability and knowledge to help you and save you a great deal of time than if you tired to do it yourself. Better to do it now then another 8-9 years down the line.

I suffered from the same thing a number of years back. And I found that exercise really helped. I also went to see a pro to help me get to the root of my addiction.

And eating the right foods to have a healthy amount of energy for the day is very important. For me I really like to go running and rollerblading.

ort888 · Jan 4, 2006, 04:40 PM

If you commit some sort of high-profile computer crime, part of your sentence will probably be a mandated removal of computers from your life. You could try that.

rickey939 · Jan 4, 2006, 04:58 PM

Originally Posted by krillbee

the dial up idea will not work at the moment. I am at school, so they give us high speed access in our dorm rooms by default.

Wait...you live in the dorms? And you are still struggling to find people, friends, etc. to meet and interact with socially? Phew, you are in deep man.

RAILhead · Jan 4, 2006, 05:00 PM

b00bies? Chicks?

turtle777 · Jan 4, 2006, 05:02 PM

Originally Posted by RAILhead

b00bies? Chicks?

Replace one addiction with another ?
To cast out Beelzeboob(ies) with the devil ?

-t

krillbee · Jan 4, 2006, 05:06 PM

Originally Posted by rickey939

Wait...you live in the dorms? And you are still struggling to find people, friends, etc. to meet and interact with socially? Phew, you are in deep man.

well there arent actually dorms, they are more like apartments. I just use the term dorm because its college students.

the problem is that most the people on our floor dont leave their door open.

::maroma:: · Jan 4, 2006, 05:19 PM

Originally Posted by krillbee

I'm glad that you have had as much success as you have. Your advice seems to be sound. The trick is letting myself throw away all those computers without receiving hardly a thing in return!

Well thats just one small part of the whole deal. I went through all of my possessions and got rid of so much stuff. But yeah, one of the hardest things was giving away all of my old computer stuff as opposed to selling it all (which is what I had planned to do all along, just never got around to it, and never would have).

And actually, if you take it to a place that recycles old computers, you can get a nice tax write-off. So you wouldn't be losing all that much, if anything.

BlueSky · Jan 4, 2006, 05:39 PM

Originally Posted by krillbee

the problem is that most the people on our floor dont leave their door open.

OK, the shyness thing. Use it. Leave your door open, post a sign outside "Friends wanted, enquire within."
There's other guys looking for friends and they have a sister. Or they know a sister or someone.

I've gotten some numbers from some women ive met online, but i never actually get around to calling them! Reason I dont? Mainly schoolwork and bad time management ( computer time tends to eat into my schedule)

Call one. Tell her about your time problems and turn it into a nice phone chat and see where it leads. If she ain't into chatting, call another one.

Originally Posted by krillbee

Right now I'm a student, my problem is that many times I fool around on the computer, and then do all my studying at the last minute!

Stop doing that!

cjrivera · Jan 4, 2006, 06:05 PM

Originally Posted by Gettheballandwinthegame

Sell all that crap on ebay, buy one nice lapdance...

Fixed.

Doofy · Jan 4, 2006, 06:08 PM

Right then krillbee... ...here's your assignment for tomorrow.

Say "hi" to every chick you fancy who you happen to walk past. Nothing more, nothing less.

Report back.

jjlannoo · Jan 4, 2006, 07:57 PM

Originally Posted by BlueSky

OK, the shyness thing. Use it. Leave your door open, post a sign outside "Friends wanted, enquire within."

You know this sounds stupid, But I think it could work. I would try it If I were You. Especially if your not on the top floor. Lots of traffic will help

extremeredundancy · Jan 4, 2006, 08:00 PM

Originally Posted by Doofy

Right then krillbee... ...here's your assignment for tomorrow.

Say "hi" to every chick you fancy who you happen to walk past. Nothing more, nothing less.

Report back.

Amazing how that works...

kmkkid · Jan 4, 2006, 08:04 PM

Originally Posted by BlueSky

OK, the shyness thing. Use it. Leave your door open, post a sign outside "Friends wanted, enquire within."

You know how desperate that makes him sound? If anything that will harbour bad attention. He just needs to be more outgoing.

Athens · Jan 4, 2006, 08:16 PM

Originally Posted by extremeredundancy

Amazing how that works...

Face Ache · Jan 4, 2006, 08:30 PM

Originally Posted by Doofy

Right then krillbee... ...here's your assignment for tomorrow.

Say "hi" to every chick you fancy who you happen to walk past. Nothing more, nothing less.

Report back.

THAT'S CRAZY TALK!