[krillbee]

I may never have sex...

What I mean by this, is this:

My abilities with the women are horrible. It seems like the only women I stand a chance at attracting are ones that are overweight and unattractive. These types of women that cannot arouse me, so even if they did want to have sex with me, it would be physiologically impossible.

How can one live every day of their life happily, knowing that they may never experience sex before they die?

ps: and before you think of suggesting it... prostitudes dont count, because they have no desire for you, they are just doing it for the money.

[nredman]

try falling in love instead of just thinking about the physical. or just find an unattractive woman and do it doggystyle

[Doofy]

Dude, I've told you what to do. If you can't follow simple instructions then it's your loss.

[subego]

Abilities can be fixed. Is there something else you're not telling us?

Can't help unless we know the whole story.

[Ghoser777]

If I can have sex, anyone can.

[meelk]

Have you considered that you might be overweight and unattractive?
Maybe lower your standards? How about post a pic.

[krillbee]

Originally Posted by nredman

try falling in love instead of just thinking about the physical. or just find an unattractive woman and do it doggystyle

if i cant even pull a one night stand, how the heck could i fall in love successfully?

Originally Posted by subego

Abilities can be fixed. Is there something else you're not telling us?

Can't help unless we know the whole story.

Um, I dont get out much? most likely cuz I dont really have that many friends. Ive discovered when i approach women when im by myself, i dont do to well.

and im extremely unsmooth and come across as desperate when talking to women. ive been working on this for 3 years with no sucess.

Have you considered that you might be overweight and unattractive?
Maybe lower your standards? How about post a pic.

most would not describe me as overweight or unattractive. most would describe me as average. sorry i will not post a pic though, i prefer to stay anonymous (just incase someone on this forum knows me)

lowering my standards cannot work. ive tried, and eventually they get to a point where u cant go any lower. How can i have sex with a woman that cant even turn me on?

[Oisín]

Originally Posted by Ghoser777

If I can have sex, anyone can.

Took the words right out of my mouth.

[Ghoser777]

You need to work on success around people before success around women. Do you have any hobbies or activities where you mingle with people? That's where you can develop basic social skills.

I'm pretty bad at the whole dating thing, but I know I have the basics of social interactions. You have to have something to talk about, or at least a way to make conversation. You don't have to say too much though - I find most women want to do the talking while you do more listening. At least that's my perspective, and I could definitely be flawed in my generalization.

[jjlannoo]

Other then fooling around with a few girls I haven't Had sex in a year if it makes you feel any better. Post a pic!! So We can judge your chances. lol

I think its really more about confidence though. I don't have alot either

lol Look Im goofy looking and I did it....So can You!!!!

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by krillbee

Um, I dont get out much? most likely cuz I dont really have that many friends. Ive discovered when i approach women when im by myself, i dont do to well.

and im extremely unsmooth and come across as desperate when talking to women. ive been working on this for 3 years with no sucess.

Right. Listen up. I'll type this only once.

With regard to your first statement about not approaching women when you're by yourself. That's the best way. "Pack hunting" is for losers. And if you're holding yourself properly, the women will approach you so there's no need to bother anyways. Even if you're not holding yourself properly, chances are some girl will come over to you and ask if you're alright and why you're sitting there on your own.

With regard to your second statement about "working on the smoothness for 3 years"... ...that's your problem. You're over-analysing the situation. Let it flow freely. Be yourself, not an attempt at being the guy you think that the girls want to be with. Don't think about what's ahead - just exist in the moment. This is not a game of chess.

[Wiskedjak]

Originally Posted by krillbee

if i cant even pull a one night stand, how the heck could i fall in love successfully?

Sometimes it works better the other way around

[nredman]

Originally Posted by Wiskedjak

Sometimes it works better the other way around

thats what i was thinking

[jjlannoo]

I'm a member on some pretty diverse forums and they all have posts like these RIGHT NOW. So your definitely not alone. Go somewhere with lots of drunk woman..ok maybe thats a bad idea but it can be fun. My problem is that I get really nervous and kinda lock up.

[Kerrigan]

I would advise you to join a gym, Krillbee. A small self-effected change in appearance can do wonders for your confidence.

If that doesn't work, then you should start seeing prostitutes. 8-P

[krillbee]

Originally Posted by Ghoser777

You need to work on success around people before success around women. Do you have any hobbies or activities where you mingle with people? That's where you can develop basic social skills.

I'm pretty bad at the whole dating thing, but I know I have the basics of social interactions. You have to have something to talk about, or at least a way to make conversation. You don't have to say too much though - I find most women want to do the talking while you do more listening. At least that's my perspective, and I could definitely be flawed in my generalization.

i dont really have any hobbies. I browse stuff on the internet, thats about it.
i find that women usually dont feel the need to say too much to me, even when i initiate conversation with them. probably because i dont have any cool hobbies in common with them or something like that, so they dont feel im worth talking to.

Originally Posted by Wiskedjak

Sometimes it works better the other way around

i dont understand what you are trying to say

Originally Posted by Doofy

Right. Listen up. I'll type this only once.

With regard to your first statement about not approaching women when you're by yourself. That's the best way. "Pack hunting" is for losers. And if you're holding yourself properly, the women will approach you so there's no need to bother anyways. Even if you're not holding yourself properly, chances are some girl will come over to you and ask if you're alright and why you're sitting there on your own.

With regard to your second statement about "working on the smoothness for 3 years"... ...that's your problem. You're over-analysing the situation. Let it flow freely. Be yourself, not an attempt at being the guy you think that the girls want to be with. Don't think about what's ahead - just exist in the moment. This is not a game of chess.

hey doofy, i listened. previously when i have been by myself at the club, ive tried wondering around and looking for women and asking them if they wanted to dance. for some reason this completely turned them off. i found that the only time i got to dance with a chick was when she approached me, lol! and there was another time where some guy made this girl dance with me, for the heck of it.

i guess the weird thing was, i had more success when i was NOT approaching the women! but i cant understand this! why is it this way? I thought men were supposed to make the approach.

btw, i checked out your advice in the other thread, about visiting bars and clubs, and i just wanted to let you know ive tried that. but maybe not enough.

[nredman]

are you drinking when you are at the bar?

[krillbee]

Originally Posted by Kerrigan

I would advise you to join a gym, Krillbee. A small self-effected change in appearance can do wonders for your confidence.

If that doesn't work, then you should start seeing prostitutes. 8-P

i currently have a membership at a gym, thru my family. we also have a gym at my college ( a crappy one, although i guess its a gym)

i go to the gym rather infrequently.

Why?? because long ago back when i used to go all the time, and was in shape at 160 lbs and 9% bodyfat, i still wasnt picking up women. i tried being social with them, but it was like they just kinda ignored me.

[krillbee]

Originally Posted by nredman

are you drinking when you are at the bar?

yes i usually have a few drinks while at the bar with my friends,

although, im thinking of trying it 'not drinking' from now on. Theres no chance in hell i want to end up with a DUI! Police breathalizer tests are full of BS from what i hear. better not risk it.

i suppose i could pay for a taxi, but that would be VERY expensive, gettin a ride to and from the bar in a taxi.


Why should I need alcohol to pick up a woman though? I thought a woman was supposed to like me for me. I really think its inconvenient to get alcohol at the bar. ive only done it in the past to fit in. but the whole transportation issue just sucks.

remember, i dont have many friends, so that makes the getting home part difficult as well. I have a few buddies who might do that, but its difficult getting in contact with them.


I just wish you didnt have to drink in order to pick up chicks.

Plus isnt drinking bad for your body, even in moderation? Like doesnt it contribute to you getting fatter if you dont exercise enough?

[jjlannoo]

Originally Posted by krillbee

yes i usually have a few drinks while at the bar with my friends,

although, im thinking of trying it 'not drinking' from now on. Theres no chance in hell i want to end up with a DUI! Police breathalizer tests are full of BS from what i hear. better not risk it.

Yeah don't drink and drive. You could always just get a ride though. Woman really do respond better though when your not drinking. Though that makes it harder to talk to them...for me anyways.

[Ghoser777]

Originally Posted by krillbee

i currently have a membership at a gym, thru my family. we also have a gym at my college ( a crappy one, although i guess its a gym)

i go to the gym rather infrequently.

Why?? because long ago back when i used to go all the time, and was in shape at 160 lbs and 9% bodyfat, i still wasnt picking up women. i tried being social with them, but it was like they just kinda ignored me.

If you're doing it only to impress women, you're doing it for the wrong reason.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by krillbee

hey doofy, i listened. previously when i have been by myself at the club, ive tried wondering around and looking for women and asking them if they wanted to dance. for some reason this completely turned them off. i found that the only time i got to dance with a chick was when she approached me, lol! and there was another time where some guy made this girl dance with me, for the heck of it.

i guess the weird thing was, i had more success when i was NOT approaching the women! but i cant understand this! why is it this way? I thought men were supposed to make the approach.

Well, there you go. The trick is to not wander around. Sit/stand in a prominent position where you can be seen. Look attentive, like you're interested in what's going on - not miserable and not wanting to be there. The best possible attitude is to look like you own the place, like everything and everyone in it belongs to you.
If you're sitting near to people (i.e. friends), put yourself on the periphery of their conversation, occasionally leaning in to see what they're talking about. You're much more interested in chicks than your friends (or any folks sitting near who could be perceived as friends), right? This is the hunter's honeypot approach. You're hunting (male trait requirement) by virtue of looking, being interested in what's going on around you. You're honeypotting (superior male trait) by virtue of letting them come to you.
It's a weird approach but it works - the less you do, the better your chances, the more you do, the worse. You've heard about "the man who doesn't have to try too hard", right? Well, this is the way. You're as cool as it gets, you don't care, you rock.

It's all about attitude. You get this down and before you know it, supermodels will be sitting next to you trying to show you their bits.

[Kerrigan]

I'm not sure if this (admittedly strange) advice has been offered above, but I would suggest that you start banging ugly chicks.

Honestly, if you are in college, then there HAS to be an ordinary or ugly looking girl somewhere who wants companionship, and maybe more. Seek her out: she may be in the computer lab, she may be in the startrek club, most likely she is in one of the religious clubs. Find her, express an interest, take her for a few dates, and you may be surprised what you find. Ugly girls tend to have better personalities than attractive girls, at least.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by krillbee

I just wish you didnt have to drink in order to pick up chicks.

You don't. In fact, when everyone else at the bar is drinking, your not drinking is a differentiator which will set you apart from all the other guys in there. Advantage you.

[jjlannoo]

I honestly know a few girls that would have sex with you just because you are a virgin. If your relatively normal looking and you said you were.

[Wiskedjak]

Originally Posted by krillbee

i dont understand what you are trying to say

You aren't going to find love if you're looking for a one night stand

[Doofy]

Dude, I thought you were gay?

Originally Posted by Kerrigan

Honestly, if you are in college, then there HAS to be an ordinary or ugly looking girl somewhere who wants companionship, and maybe more. Seek her out: most likely she is in one of the religious clubs.

Strange. In my experience all the ugly chicks are at feminist club.

Originally Posted by Kerrigan

Ugly girls tend to have better personalities than attractive girls, at least.

Sorry, that's complete tripe invented by ugly editors of women's magazines to make their ugly readers feel better about themselves.

[Mastrap]

Originally Posted by Doofy

The best possible attitude is to look like you own the place, like everything and everyone in it belongs to you.
---
It's a weird approach but it works - the less you do, the better your chances, the more you do, the worse.

These are words of wisdom. Seriously.

I once had Linda Evangelista introducing herself to me by saying "My, aren't you lovely and tall" - by doing nothing at all.*


*I immediately blew it by blushing furiously and stammering something inane. Heh, I was like 21 at the time.

[jjlannoo]

Originally Posted by Mastrap

These are words of wisdom. Seriously.

I had Linda Evangelista introducing herself to me by saying "My, aren't you lovely and tall" - by doing nothing at all.

Yeah but He might not be lovely and tall LOL Looks,how you dress etc. play a BIG part in getting initial attention. Thats a fact

[Mastrap]

I'm no oil painting. It's all about attitude. The second you try too hard is the second you lose.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by jjlannoo

Yeah but He might not be lovely and tall LOL Looks,how you dress etc. play a BIG part in getting initial attention. Thats a fact

Difference is a key factor - it doesn't much depend on how good you look, so no worrying about those Armani suits and stuff.

Basically, if everyone else in the place looks like they could be showing up in an iChatAV ad, then you should put on the gnarly biker gear. If everyone else is in biker gear, then put that suit jacket on.

[Kerrigan]

Originally Posted by Doofy

Dude, I thought you were gay?

Ya, but what's that got to do with it? I've dated a number of decent girls in the past.

Strange. In my experience all the ugly chicks are at feminist club.

Oh please, I would never advise a man to stoop that low. C:

[Ratm]

Originally Posted by Ghoser777

If I can have sex, anyone can.

Ghoser is dissin' himself. Give yourself more props...You tha Man!

And to the submitter-- You are over thinking things.

Do you really want to hear the solution to your problem?

1.) You need to socialize as much as possible, meeting new people and spreading the word and letting them know what you're all about. In a way it's like advertising. How are they going to know if you don't tell them. Once you have a larger circle of friends they'll do most of the leg work for you and will want to hook you up with their girlfriends best friend.

Practice the art of conversation. My typing skills may be horrible but I can charm the pants off of most women....the babyface, my smile and dimples also helps.

2.) Look presentable. Skin, hair, clothes, smelling good is one of the most important things—when a women looks at you, you're telling her almost everything she needs to know. You don't need to drop a ton of money but make sure your clothes are color coordinated and up-to-date.

3.)Don't allow yourself to be intimidate by anyone. They're just like you and me and are most likely looking for other good people to chill with to get thru the ills of life together.

4.)Friends First: the chances for a successful relationship are far greater because you'll know exactly who and what she's about(mostly) and she'll know what you're all about and whether or not this is the kind of person you'll want to get into a relationship with(women can be psychos too). It will save you a huge amount of time and heartache.

5.)Don't play outside of your league—unless you look like brad pit, then you can do what ever the **** you want. Be realistic abut the kind of women you can get. If you want more then step your game up and look the part. Mind, body and soul.

Confidence is the glue that holds all this together. It's not OK to become an arrogant asshole but there's nothing wrong with being secure in yourself and letting other people know it—just make sure not remind them of it every other minute.

(One)

[von Wrangell]

Things to do.

1. Learn to not need anything but the basics to live each day.
2. Learn to be happy with your life because you realise you don't need anything but the basics.
3. When you are happy with your life it will start to show.
4. When it starts to show (basically when the people who know you the best tell you it) go out and meet people.
5. When you've finished the four steps before this one you will get more women than you want.

Things not to do.

Do not:

1. hit on every girl in the pub/disco/whereever-you-meet-women you frequent. They will see it and realise what the deal is.
2. try to get women to dance with you. If you are not a good dancer this never works. Listen to "if you can't dance(slide)" by will smith for further details. hint "women equate dance with sex". Rather dance on your own (if you can dance).
3. be "aggressive" when making a move. Being "aggressive" is showing a weakness.
4. believe that you cannot get a girl. The most important point. They sense it and will never like you.

Ugly, boring guys (not saying you are one) very often get attractive girls. The only reason for that is because they know (not think or believe) they can get whatever girl they want. No other reason.

Good Luck.

[von Wrangell]

Originally Posted by Kerrigan

I'm not sure if this (admittedly strange) advice has been offered above, but I would suggest that you start banging ugly chicks.

Honestly, if you are in college, then there HAS to be an ordinary or ugly looking girl somewhere who wants companionship, and maybe more. Seek her out: she may be in the computer lab, she may be in the startrek club, most likely she is in one of the religious clubs. Find her, express an interest, take her for a few dates, and you may be surprised what you find. Ugly girls tend to have better personalities than attractive girls, at least.

But most importantly they have (girl)friends.

[von Wrangell]

Originally Posted by Mastrap

I'm no oil painting. It's all about attitude. The second you try too hard is the second you lose.

Words of Wisdom™

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Ratm

2.) Look presentable. Skin, hair, clothes, smelling good is one of the most important things—when a women looks at you, you're telling her almost everything she needs to know. You don't need to drop a ton of money but make sure your clothes are color coordinated and up-to-date.

That advice isn't really working for me. Here's some visual proof:

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by von Wrangell

Ugly, boring guys (not saying you are one) very often get attractive girls. The only reason for that is because they know (not think or believe) they can get whatever girl they want. No other reason.

Exactly right. The most proficient pullmeisters I've observed don't even consider that they won't get the girl. It simply doesn't enter their heads.

[Ratm]

Originally Posted by Doofy

That advice isn't really working for me. Here's some visual proof:

See, that's your problem right there.... that scarf doesn't match the beautiful shades of brown in your eyes. You'll see I'm right and notice the difference when you do.

[jjlannoo]

Originally Posted by Doofy

That advice isn't really working for me. Here's some visual proof:

LOL fame and money overides


In the end He's not going to solve His problem talking to Mac geeks on the internet. LOL As Men We have been talking about this since for as long as we could speak. Then grunting before hand.

[Wiskedjak]

Originally Posted by krillbee

i guess the weird thing was, i had more success when i was NOT approaching the women! but i cant understand this! why is it this way? I thought men were supposed to make the approach.

btw, i checked out your advice in the other thread, about visiting bars and clubs, and i just wanted to let you know ive tried that. but maybe not enough.

Sometimes it's easier to find something when you're not looking. Seriously. You think you're not trying hard enough. I think you're trying too hard.

People, men or women, are generally not attracted to others who appear desperate. It makes them feel like you'll take the first thing that comes along; ie: it doesn't make them feel that they're special to you. I think people prefer it if you show that you're interested in them, not just in a one night stand. I am of course assuming that you are ultimately looking for a longer term relationship as opposed to a one night stand. I've never attempted a one night stand so cannot comment on how to go about landing one.

All I can say is that I've only had a few girlfriends and the shortest of those relationships lasted about 6 months. The longest is now approaching it's 10th year. None of those relationships were found when I was looking for one (and there were times when I was trying very hard to find one). A few were found shortly after I gave up looking (most notably my current relationship).

Stop looking for sex. Stop looking for love. Get yourself involved in situations where you can meet people. Get to know those people. One may find you as interesting as you find her.

[Mastrap]

Originally Posted by Doofy

Exactly right. The most proficient pullmeisters I've observed don't even consider that they won't get the girl. It simply doesn't enter their heads.

Exactly. Girls love confident (do not confuse that with arrogant) men. Be funny, be interesting, be confident and I can almost guarantee you that you'll get laid.

[Kerrigan]

Eh, I'd better edit this one.

[Mastrap]

PS: Learn to cook. Girls love, love, love being invited for dinner by a guy who knows what he's doing in the kitchen. Food = Sex.

My wife claims to this day that's why she married me.

[von Wrangell]

Originally Posted by Kerrigan

Eh, I'd better edit this one.

hehe, I saw it.

FEKK OFF YA TWIT!!!!

nah....


What first came to mind when reading that post:

[Wiskedjak]

Originally Posted by Kerrigan

Eh, I'd better edit this one.

Most of it was safe

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by jjlannoo

LOL fame and money overides

You'd think, yes? But she's more famous and loads richer than he is. So how did he manage it? Attitude.

Originally Posted by jjlannoo

In the end He's not going to solve His problem talking to Mac geeks on the internet.

There's good advice in this thread if he has a mind to take notice of it and apply it.

[Ratm]

Originally Posted by Mastrap

PS: Learn to cook. Girls love, love, love being invited for dinner by a guy who knows what he's doing in the kitchen. Food = Sex.

My wife claims to this day that's why she married me.

That's what she tells you so you don't get a big head about the real reasons. Women are slick like that (but I know, I observe, I listen -Larry David).

[Kerrigan]

It was a joke as you guys can tell, but it was also a bit offensive and I don't want to derail this thread, which thus far has been very amusing.

[Ratm]

Originally Posted by jjlannoo

LOL fame and money overides


In the end He's not going to solve His problem talking to Mac geeks on the internet on a Friday night. LOL.

Fixed