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smacintush · Mar 2, 2006, 11:17 AM

I had completely forgotten about this thread until today so I thought I would update the whole situation. Re-reading this thread brings back some emotions that I did not know were still there. Goes to show how emotionally repressed I am.

My brother was in a coma for several weeks at the neuro-ICU at Northwestern Medical Center in Chicago. He had never shown any signs of seizure and had a large subdural hematoma on the right side of his brain toward the front. He was very stable and they had been unsuccessfully trying to ween him off of the ventilator and it just wasn't working. It was after several days of this that in the middle of the night he woke up and pulled the vent tube…inflated bladder and all…right out of his throat. (traumatizing his vocal chords in the process) He was awake and somewhat coherent some of the time.

It wasn't long until they moved him to a normal room where he stayed a while longer until he was transferred to a longer care/rebabilitation facility. When he checked in was 117 lbs. (at 5' 10"), wore a diaper, couldn't walk, couldn't feed himself etc. His mental faculties were severely impaired and his personality…well…he was different that's for sure!

After three months of intense physical rehab he had gotten a lot of his strength and independence back. He had only gained 10 pounds or so since his screwed up teeth made it so hard to eat. So he was able to move in with our mother.

They prognosis and recovery went something like this:

All of the bone fragments that were in his eye, brain, sinuses etc. were not practically removable, but they weren't really deemed to cause any problems either. He did NOT need any facial reconstruction. Or rather, it was not really possible considering that the bones were shattered like so much glass. He does look a little different around the eyes (you can sort of see that something is a little off to look at him) but overall his face is quite fine. We were told that because of the type of damage he sustained the structural integrity of his face was compromised. So basically this was a one shot deal. Another accident or even a few good punches to the face could ruin him or even possibly end him altogether.

He did get and is still getting his teeth fixed. There was a lot of cracked teeth from the accident and he had let them go in the years leading up to the accident.

His left thumb was iffy but it tuned out to have healed just fine. It was nearly ripped off and the second joint was severely dislocated but the tendons and ligaments were untouched.

There were two major issues the had a "wait and see" status: His vision and his mental recovery. His permanent brain damage vs. the temporary brain injury was nearly impossible to determine due to the nature of the brain and the medical communities' lack of understanding of it. As the hematoma dissolved and the bruising and swelling went down we would know more.

His eyes are both functioning but the damage was mostly related to his face being shattered. Thus, although his vision is clear, he has no peripheral vision, the eyes don't want to work together so he has double vision, and everything is slanted to him. In short, he is legally blind but he can function quite well. This MAY YET IMPROVE. There are cases where this type of injury heals and return slowly over years or even suddenly just goes away overnight.

Which leaves us to his mental/emotional recovery. Over the last 15 months he has come a LOOOONG way. When he came home he was, for lack of a better term, a complete asshole. He had a horrible short term memory and seemed to have reverted to a teenager in many ways. Now he is ALMOST himself on most days. He laughs a lot and has earned the nickname "chuckles". (believe me it is well deserved and is a term of endearment!) His memory is always improving. Everything seems to be getting better all of the time but we still have a year to go before we can really see where he is at permanently. Right now it seems that he has lost his ability to deal with things like even simple math. He is still immature in many ways but we may still see that improve.

Because of his vision and his cognitive difficulty he is considered permanently disabled. He may return to some sort of work someday but right now it is hard to see what the could be. He is very positive about his situation and has told my mother that his life has never been better than it is now. He lives in his own place but it is about 3 minutes walk to out mother's house. She still has to keep an eye on him and she takes care of his money for him. (this is required by SSI. They won't even let him sign his own checks)

He is a little weird still, like when he wore a white Karate belt around his coat for two days.

I think that pretty much covers it. It has been a long year but overall he is extremely lucky to have done as well as he has. Hopefully he'll do much better still in the next year or so.

sek929 · Mar 2, 2006, 11:40 AM

Sorry to hear about the news.

In the last year I've personally known 5 people that have died in car accidents (no alchohol was involved in 4 of them, the other one I am unsure about).

I've done some real stupid sh!t in my day (Capt O hasn't, cuz he is soooooo smart) and I am very lucky that none of it has affected me yet.

Pot can make you crash as it kills your attention span, in fact, unless your rested and sober driving is a deadly game (even IF you are sober).

Also, the Ford Festiva is possibly one of the worst cars you could ever get into an accident with.

Best of luck to him and his little girl.

meelk · Mar 2, 2006, 01:00 PM

your brother could have easily killed innocent people with cute 7 year olds of their own. I for one do not wish him luck, and hope he stays off the road by being in the grave.
I've already been struck by someone like your brother, I dont wish it on anyone.

tooki · Mar 2, 2006, 01:10 PM

[The above posts were originally replies to http://forums.macnn.com/89/macnn-lounge/236238/my-brother-accident-saturday-large-pics/. Please, folks, don't resurrect ancient threads. Our rules list 6 months as the rule-of-thumb cutoff.

tooki]

Binarymix · Mar 2, 2006, 01:21 PM

Originally Posted by meelk

your brother could have easily killed innocent people with cute 7 year olds of their own. I for one do not wish him luck, and hope he stays off the road by being in the grave.
I've already been struck by someone like your brother, I dont wish it on anyone.

And people with your attitude are probably better off in the grave.

I hope your brother recovers as much as humanly possible smacintush.

olePigeon · Mar 2, 2006, 01:44 PM

I have a real problem with drunk drivers. As others have pointed out, it's a choice not an accident.

I hope for your family's sake, that he'll recover. I guess it's the advantage of it "not happening to you" that helps people to distance themselves from their emotions. If this had happened to my brother... well, I dunno what I'd do. Not something I care to think about.

Best wishes, man.

smacintush · Mar 2, 2006, 01:49 PM

Originally Posted by meelk

your brother could have easily killed innocent people with cute 7 year olds of their own. I for one do not wish him luck, and hope he stays off the road by being in the grave.
I've already been struck by someone like your brother, I dont wish it on anyone.

Well, his disabilities keep him off the road.

While I agree with your basic premise on drunk driving in general being horrible, it's clear that you are an asshole and you can go f*ck yourself with a broken bottle.

meelk · Mar 2, 2006, 02:03 PM

Originally Posted by smacintush

Well, his disabilities keep him off the road.

While I agree with your basic premise on drunk driving in general being horrible, it's clear that you are an asshole and you can go f*ck yourself with a broken bottle.

Dont come crying about your idiot brother and expect the world to weep with you. If your brother had simply been involved in an accident he would have my sympathy. As it stands he caused his own problems and could easily have killed other people. Think about all the innocent people who die every day because of people like your brother before you try to take the moral high ground on me.

smacintush · Mar 2, 2006, 02:40 PM

Originally Posted by meelk

Dont come crying about your idiot brother and expect the world to weep with you. If your brother had simply been involved in an accident he would have my sympathy. As it stands he caused his own problems and could easily have killed other people. Think about all the innocent people who die every day because of people like your brother before you try to take the moral high ground on me.

I'm not trying to take any "high ground" with anyone. You are deliberately being a c*nt and I am responding in kind.

If you had bothered to read the original thread you would see that I don't have any problem with anyone's negative criticism of my brother or his actions. Not even Captain Obivous'. My only real counter point is that this is was his first drinking related incident. He has never been arrested for anything, and he had never had an accident before this one. He made a serious mistake and he paid for it with his vision, his mind and his ability to be self-sufficient. He cannot take care of his daughter anymore and cannot drive. He was a very talented and dedicated martial artist who lived with and trained with a grandmaster in Japan and has fought around the world, and has lost his depth perception, balance and ability to concentrate rendering him unable to perform martial arts like he used to. Did I mention he is functionally impotent?

I think that considering no one else was even scratched in this accident and his ability to hurt anyone has been taken away forever his debt is paid in full and then some.

Have a nice day.

RAILhead · Mar 2, 2006, 02:56 PM

Yeah, I think drunk drivers suck and don't usually get what they deserve, but "meelk" has a seious burr up his arse.

No need to be a

deedar · Mar 2, 2006, 04:06 PM

Originally Posted by meelk

Dont come crying about your idiot brother and expect the world to weep with you. If your brother had simply been involved in an accident he would have my sympathy. As it stands he caused his own problems and could easily have killed other people. Think about all the innocent people who die every day because of people like your brother before you try to take the moral high ground on me.

You are being a complete arse. The family of this guy is suffereng - it's not their fault that he was a drunk driver.

IceEnclosure · Mar 2, 2006, 04:28 PM

Originally Posted by meelk

your brother could have easily killed innocent people with cute 7 year olds of their own. I for one do not wish him luck, and hope he stays off the road by being in the grave.
I've already been struck by someone like your brother, I dont wish it on anyone.

you don't talk to people like that sucker, you'd catch an elbow in person for certain.

turtle777 · Mar 2, 2006, 05:00 PM

Originally Posted by tooki

[The above posts were originally replies to http://forums.macnn.com/showthread.php?t=236238. Please, folks, don't resurrect ancient threads. Our rules list 6 months as the rule-of-thumb cutoff.]

tooki, I'm a little surprised.

I have seen so many zombie threads resurrected for non-sense. But I have never seen you posting this warning and shifting the posts to a new thread.

This is one of the few threads of which I think the whole history of the thread would indeed be helpful, and a resurrection ok.

-t

FireWire · Mar 2, 2006, 05:06 PM

Originally Posted by meelk

your brother could have easily killed innocent people with cute 7 year olds of their own. I for one do not wish him luck, and hope he stays off the road by being in the grave.
I've already been struck by someone like your brother, I dont wish it on anyone.

Too bad we can't ban "people" like you (for lack of a politically correct word to describe you).

OreoCookie · Mar 2, 2006, 05:11 PM

I'm glad that – given the extent of his injuries – he is recovering well. Since I also have a brother, I couldn't imagine what I'd do if that were him.

To some other members:
I also don't think that there is any point lecturing smacintush in particular, since it wasn't even him drinking and driving. His brother has to face the consequences for the rest of his life, so I don't think there is one day he doesn't regret what he did that night in 2004. I cannot think of a harder punishment, so knock it off.

hey!_Zeus · Mar 2, 2006, 05:26 PM

May he who drinks and has never driven drunk hold up your hand.

I have. But that was many many years ago. I was lucky but stupid.

I think the smacintush clan and friends have learned something from all this.

OreoCookie · Mar 2, 2006, 05:32 PM

I personally haven't. Although a few times, I might have had still some alcohol in my system (roughly 12 hours after the party).

But there were a few times I would have considered it (e. g. when the driver has drunk more than I did, although he promised to be sober).

rparke1 · Mar 2, 2006, 07:30 PM

all ill say is thank the forum gods for the ignor member posts options

new to the list: meelk

all of luck to your brother and family. tell him i hope he feels better

meelk · 08:58 PM

I've been struck by a drunk/drugged driver. I'm sure those of you being high and mighty havent. That being the case, you can kiss the appropriate body part, thanks.
This is why society fails. Idiot goes and gets drunk, manages to hurt only himself, and people have sympathy for him. I'm suddenly the bad guy because I've had to deal with this kind of crap, and feel nothing for him? How incredibly stupid is that? This proves idiotic liberal backlash isnt based in logic.

FireWire · Mar 2, 2006, 09:13 PM

Originally Posted by meelk

I'm suddenly the bad guy because I've had to deal with this kind of crap, and feel nothing for him? How incredibly stupid is that? This proves idiotic liberal backlash isnt based in logic.

I think there's a slight margin between being indifferent to someone's troubles and wishing someone's death and/or misfortune...

In both cases, you're still an asshøle, thou...

meelk · Mar 2, 2006, 10:02 PM

Originally Posted by FireWire

I think there's a slight margin between being indifferent to someone's troubles and wishing someone's death and/or misfortune...

In both cases, you're still an asshøle, thou...

this was undoubtably just the first time he got caught/hurt. How many other times did he put people in danger?

FireWire · Mar 3, 2006, 12:57 AM

Originally Posted by meelk

this was undoubtably just the first time he got caught/hurt. How many other times did he put people in danger?

I'm pretty sure this thread was not started to debate on DUI, but rather as a "personal healing" process to evacuate some feelings/thoughts, as well as to give an update. No matter what your opinion is on the subject, you ought to show some respect.

smacintush · Mar 3, 2006, 01:34 AM

Originally Posted by meelk

this was undoubtably just the first time he got caught/hurt. How many other times did he put people in danger?

Well, there were those people he killed in combat in Panama during operation Just Cause and during Gulf War I. Those people were certainly in danger.

Ah whatever. You are entitled to your own opinions and to behave however you please.

Big Mac · Mar 3, 2006, 01:47 AM

I personally have a lot of sympathy for the situation you and your brother are in, smacintush, even though the collision was due to your brother's recklessness. He's still a human being, one who is in a lot of pain, and it must be very painfully for smacintush and the rest of his family as well.