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aberdeenwriter · Mar 13, 2006, 05:50 AM

Men's File: Russian Math Wizard Devises Formula How Shoe Size Relates to Pecker Size

Russian Mathematicians Create A Formula Linking Shoe Size To Cronk Size

We’ve all heard the stories that your SHOE SIZE is directly connected to your CRONK SIZE...and , honestly, for some of us with gargantuan feet, we’ve CLUNG to it forever. Of course, it usually gets written off as myth.

NOT SO, say a group of Russian mathematicians. They’ve created a formula that links a man’s shoe size to his penis length. AND...they say it’s accurate on 90% of men!!!

The formula: Manhood size equals height plus five, all divided by two. Unfortunately, the formula uses the metric system...which, yes, I know, is evil...so you’ll need to know your shoe size to centimeters. Fortunately...I’ve done that for you...and, in the process, figured out your size in the pants. Here you go...

...Shoe size EIGHT means a 5.98-inch cronk.

...Shoe size NINE means a 6.14-inch cronk.

...Shoe size TEN means a 6.3-inch cronk.

...Shoe size ELEVEN means a 6.48-inch cronk.

...Shoe size TWELVE means a 6.65-inch cronk.

...And shoe size THIRTEEN means a 6.8-inch cronk. (Pravda)

But, it's not how much you have, but how well you use it!

Practice safe sex.

moonmonkey · Mar 13, 2006, 05:57 AM

Are these US, European or UK sizes, UK sizes tend to be a lot bigger than Euro sizes as they have much larger feet in the UK on average.

Kevin · Mar 13, 2006, 06:30 AM

This isn't true, according to my Cronk.

But I may be the other 10%

ambush · Mar 13, 2006, 06:34 AM

Size 10.5 should be 8-inch

Super Mario · Mar 13, 2006, 06:36 AM

Odd thing is that most tall men have big feet and small peckerydoos. There is no bone in the penis as we boys once answered a girl in biology class when we were 14.

forkies · Mar 13, 2006, 06:42 AM

i've been with several guys that disprove this forumla. unfortunately for me, it wasn't their shoe size which was small...

Dr.Michael · Mar 13, 2006, 08:49 AM

So we are talking about less than one inch?
Thats already the difference between being with a 80-70-80 and a 95-55-105 (in cm

)

Person Man · Mar 13, 2006, 09:57 AM

Cronk?

Spliffdaddy · Mar 13, 2006, 10:33 AM

Well, I wear a size 12 1/2(US). Maybe later when I get home I'll see if I also have a 6.7" thingamadoodle.

I'll be sure to report back with my findings.

Mister Elf · Mar 13, 2006, 12:38 PM

Originally Posted by Person Man

Cronk?

Fixed

Person Man · Mar 13, 2006, 12:46 PM

Originally Posted by Mister Elf

Fixed

That works, too, but I was referring to that character's name, Kronk. He's from Disney's "The Emperor's New Groove"

Lateralus · Mar 13, 2006, 01:26 PM

Size 15. w00t.

Albert Pujols · Mar 13, 2006, 01:32 PM

I wear size 22 1/2 shoes..

Too bad my feet don't fill them up.

osiris · Mar 13, 2006, 01:46 PM

What if your 'cronk' is bigger than your shoe size?

And is there a way of measuring a woman's, uhm, depth, based on shoe sizes converted to negatives using quadratics or something?
I've noticed that with small-footed women, it's like packing too much baloney in the zip-loc, ya know what I mean? wink wink nudge nudge.

Binarymix · Mar 13, 2006, 01:56 PM

Erm. Ok.

As another poster stated, I've been with many men where this formula does NOT apply at all, including myself.

Kevin · Mar 13, 2006, 02:39 PM

Originally Posted by osiris

What if your 'cronk' is bigger than your shoe size?

And is there a way of measuring a woman's, uhm, depth, based on shoe sizes converted to negatives using quadratics or something?
I've noticed that with small-footed women, it's like packing too much baloney in the zip-loc, ya know what I mean? wink wink nudge nudge.

Invest in a shoehorn.

ajprice · Mar 13, 2006, 02:48 PM

If a man has a big fast car as a, um, cronk substitute, does it work the same way that a woman with a big garage is making up for something?

Spliffdaddy · Mar 13, 2006, 03:36 PM

Well I'll be damned. Looks like the formula is correct.

I just finished measuring my willy and it looks like it's just over 6.5" in circumference.

That's pretty close to the 6.7" predicted using the shoe size formula.

d4nth3m4n · Mar 13, 2006, 03:49 PM

wow, so the difference is barely an inch going from size 8 shoes to size 13 shoes? so like .5" from the average size? (assuming that this was the tested range)

i dunno, this isn't really all that amazing to me. seems logical that the height and build differences in general scale of a person with size 8 feet and someone with size 13 feet would correlate with a general upsizing of all factors of a person. granted there are anomalies, but 1" of difference seems like logical to me.

90% is what? 3 standard deviations?

Person Man · Mar 13, 2006, 03:50 PM

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy

I just finished measuring my willy and it looks like it's just over 6.5" in circumference.

It's cronk. Get it straight. Not willy, cronk, CRONK!!!

d4nth3m4n · Mar 13, 2006, 03:51 PM

bah

Spliffdaddy · Mar 13, 2006, 04:00 PM

Oh! the formula says 6.7" in length - not circumference.

I measured in the wrong direction.

Hold on a second, let me find the yardstick.

.
.
.
.
hmmm. Looks like 11 5/8ths

flacid.

d4nth3m4n · Mar 13, 2006, 04:13 PM

^^

turtle777 · Mar 13, 2006, 05:03 PM

-t

aberdeenwriter · Mar 13, 2006, 06:33 PM

Originally Posted by what_the_heck

-t

Hmmm, you know what it takes to satisfy a big P----?

kernokerno · Mar 13, 2006, 06:50 PM

Not true.

aberdeenwriter · Mar 13, 2006, 07:04 PM

Originally Posted by kernokerno

Not true.

Is true.

OldManMac · Mar 13, 2006, 07:24 PM

More silly nonsense. IIRC, about a hundred years ago, someone postulated that humans who had bigger heads (not that kind; get your mind out of the gutter), were more intelligent, which of course is just as silly.

BTW, the word is "penis," and you can really use it without giggling (at least some of us can).

Kevin · Mar 13, 2006, 07:26 PM

Heh you said penis.

BRussell · Mar 13, 2006, 07:34 PM

Originally Posted by KarlG

More silly nonsense. IIRC, about a hundred years ago, someone postulated that humans who had bigger heads (not that kind; get your mind out of the gutter), were more intelligent, which of course is just as silly.

BTW, the word is "penis," and you can really use it without giggling (at least some of us can).

Brain size actually is pretty highly correlated with IQ. Don't know about head size though. Or "head" size for that matter.

Person Man · Mar 13, 2006, 07:42 PM

Originally Posted by KarlG

BTW, the word is "penis," and you can really use it without giggling (at least some of us can).

It's CRONK, goddammit!

kernokerno · Mar 13, 2006, 09:22 PM

Originally Posted by aberdeenwriter

Is true.

really?

frylock · Mar 13, 2006, 10:55 PM

Originally Posted by Albert Pujols

I wear size 22 1/2 shoes..

Too bad my feet don't fill them up.

You may not be aware of this, but you're sitting or standing on my feet right now. Oh, and don't look over your shoulder.

Gropin'GL · Mar 14, 2006, 12:30 AM

Crud, I'm 13 and I have shoe size 6... No wonder!

I Bent My Wookiee · Mar 14, 2006, 12:36 AM

Originally Posted by ambush

Size 10.5 should be 8-inch

I was wondering how long it would take you.

Seems you are still a growing boy. The last 10 times you brought it up it was 7.5

UNTeMac · Mar 14, 2006, 03:12 AM

What if I wear a size 15 shoe on my cronk?

Kevin · Mar 14, 2006, 05:44 AM

Originally Posted by I Bent My Wookiee

I was wondering how long it would take you.

Seems you are still a growing boy. The last 10 times you brought it up it was 7.5

I was thinking the same thing.

But I figured if I replied to him, he would post again.

turtle777 · Mar 14, 2006, 08:51 AM

Originally Posted by I Bent My Wookiee

I was wondering how long it would take you.
Seems you are still a growing boy. The last 10 times you brought it up it was 7.5

Hey, no snide remarks about his Canadian quality penis

-t

wdlove · Mar 14, 2006, 09:00 AM

This is definitely making for good conversation.

turtle777 · Mar 14, 2006, 09:07 AM

Originally Posted by wdlove

This is definitely making for good conversation.

At church ?

-t

Binarymix · Mar 14, 2006, 09:25 AM

turtle777 · Mar 14, 2006, 10:34 AM

Well, THIS is my show. Go figure

-t

Goldfinger · Mar 14, 2006, 10:37 AM

Too bad I only understand metric.

turtle777 · Mar 14, 2006, 10:39 AM

Originally Posted by Goldfinger

Too bad I only understand metric.

Yeah. metric system is much gooder.
See, a 20 cm dick sounds much bigger than 8 inch

-t

I Bent My Wookiee · Mar 14, 2006, 10:39 AM

Ya from the number of penis' I have seen this chart is 100% wrong unless everyone I see falls into the 10%

turtle777 · Mar 14, 2006, 10:40 AM

I Bent My Wookiee · Mar 14, 2006, 10:41 AM

Ya from the number of penis' I have seen this chart is 100% wrong unless everyone I see falls into the 10%

turtle777 · Mar 14, 2006, 10:41 AM

Binarymix · Mar 14, 2006, 10:45 AM

forum burp?

turtle777 · Mar 14, 2006, 10:54 AM

Originally Posted by Binarymix

forum burp?

Yep.

-t