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Salty · Mar 30, 2006, 05:45 PM

Hey guys. Just figured I think I mentioned in passing that I got booted from our church's youth group ministry (some days I really get sick of non-Christians being right about Christians but whatever...) anyway. I never really said so on here not because I was some self-loathing nut job like some of you think. I just never wanted to risk it somehow getting back to people I know. That said, as a result of getting booted from the YG I had to tell my rents something, so I decided to be honest about it. My mom's response was great.

Me: Yah... I'm gay.
Mom: You mean you think you're gay...
Me: Nope, I double checked.

Anyway, it's fun not telling people at a BIble College, but also never lying about it. That said, I don't mean to pretend that all the Christians I know have taken it badly, I have several friends at school who have taken it very well. That said, it'd just be awkward to live in an all guy's dorm and have people know.

Oh and encase you're wondering about the girl post a while ago. Wee bit bi but not terribly much so.

The Godfather · Mar 30, 2006, 05:47 PM

April Fools!

ironknee · Mar 30, 2006, 05:48 PM

so?

great line double checked. good for you. why were you booted?

lpkmckenna · Mar 30, 2006, 05:48 PM

What denomination do you belong to?

Salty · Mar 30, 2006, 05:49 PM

Oh! Man I should have totally saved this for April Fools!

ambush · Mar 30, 2006, 05:49 PM

Congrats for coming out of the closet.

PS: The Church won't accept you now. The Pope himself must think you come from Hell or something.
Move to San Francisco and have fun.

Rumor · Mar 30, 2006, 05:51 PM

Originally Posted by Salty

Me: Yah... I'm gay.
Mom: You mean you think you're gay...
Me: Nope, I double checked.

Salty · Mar 30, 2006, 05:51 PM

Originally Posted by ironknee

so?

great line double checked. good for you. why were you booted?

Cause irrational parents might think that I might molest their unattractive 12 year old. I hear that's all that gay people do... (Sadly I'm not joking)

It really was a, this could be bad PR thing more than a you've done anything wrong thing. Of course that resulted in me having to tell my YG kids why their favourite sponsor wouldn't be returning. So I just decided to be honest with em. I very much so hope this leaves a mark on how they think of gay people.

Actually nother good quote. While at Moxie's for Nachos with two of my YG girls last Saturday they were trying to figure out what kind of flavoured iced tea they wanted, and I was like,
"Well pick your favourite fruit!'
"David!"

The Godfather · Mar 30, 2006, 05:52 PM

Originally Posted by Salty

Anyway, it's fun not telling people at a BIble College, but also never lying about it.

Hmm... Wouldn't it be unethical to not disclose it to the parents of those boys you would have been responsible for?

FeLiZeCaT · Mar 30, 2006, 05:52 PM

Salty. Welcome to your own freedom.

Salty · Mar 30, 2006, 05:52 PM

Originally Posted by ambush

Congrats for coming out of the closet.

PS: The Church won't accept you now. The Pope himself must think you come from Hell or something.
Move to San Francisco and have fun.

I'm actually not Catholic. I'd be Baptist but I was attending an Alliance church.

That said I will be going to a gay bar with a friend from campus tomorrow. Should be fun. Actually I think I'll probably be bored but whatever.

davesimondotcom · Mar 30, 2006, 05:53 PM

The double checked line made me laugh...

dlefebvre · Mar 30, 2006, 05:53 PM

It's no big thing, it's not like you said you're gay...

Wait a minute...

You just did...

Nevermind. You're not the first one. Life goe's on.

Salty · Mar 30, 2006, 05:53 PM

Originally Posted by The Godfather

Hmm... Wouldn't it be unethical to not disclose it to the parents of those boys you will be responsible for?

I'm a student. I owe nothing to anyone here. And the boys I'm responsible for? If I were straight should I need to tell that to the parents of any girls I come into contact with?

Rumor · Mar 30, 2006, 05:54 PM

Originally Posted by Salty

Cause irrational parents might think that I might molest their unattractive 12 year old. I hear that's all that gay people do... (Sadly I'm not joking)

It really was a, this could be bad PR thing more than a you've done anything wrong thing. Of course that resulted in me having to tell my YG kids why their favourite sponsor wouldn't be returning. So I just decided to be honest with em. I very much so hope this leaves a mark on how they think of gay people.

Actually nother good quote. While at Moxie's for Nachos with two of my YG girls last Saturday they were trying to figure out what kind of flavoured iced tea they wanted, and I was like,
"Well pick your favourite fruit!'
"David!"

Hasselhoff?

lpkmckenna · Mar 30, 2006, 05:56 PM

Originally Posted by The Godfather

Hmm... Wouldn't it be unethical to not disclose it to the parents of those boys you would have been responsible for?

davesimondotcom · Mar 30, 2006, 05:57 PM

Originally Posted by The Godfather

Hmm... Wouldn't it be unethical to not disclose it to the parents of those boys you would have been responsible for?

I don't see how what Salty does in his bedroom has anything to do with the boys he is responsible for.

stevesnj · Mar 30, 2006, 05:59 PM

Originally Posted by Salty

I'm a student. I owe nothing to anyone here. And the boys I'm responsible for? If I were straight should I need to tell that to the parents of any girls I come into contact with?

Yeah this is a great stereotype that homosexual men get...their gay so they must be pedofiles or will hit on every guy they see.

Thanks for your honesty on here Salty, I like you either way if you were gay or not

Rumor · Mar 30, 2006, 06:00 PM

Originally Posted by Salty

I'm a student. I owe nothing to anyone here. And the boys I'm responsible for? If I were straight should I need to tell that to the parents of any girls I come into contact with?

It's really too bad the negative views most people have on the gay population.

ironknee · Mar 30, 2006, 06:00 PM

Originally Posted by Salty

Cause irrational parents might think that I might molest their unattractive 12 year old. I hear that's all that gay people do... (Sadly I'm not joking)

It really was a, this could be bad PR thing more than a you've done anything wrong thing. Of course that resulted in me having to tell my YG kids why their favourite sponsor wouldn't be returning. So I just decided to be honest with em. I very much so hope this leaves a mark on how they think of gay people.

Actually nother good quote. While at Moxie's for Nachos with two of my YG girls last Saturday they were trying to figure out what kind of flavoured iced tea they wanted, and I was like,
"Well pick your favourite fruit!'
"David!"

so the church knew you were gay or did you tell them? after all you've done for them...like the quicktime movie stuff...

jasonsRX7 · Mar 30, 2006, 06:03 PM

Wow, you came out of the closet and started using paragraphs all in the same day. Way to turn over a new leaf!

dlefebvre · Mar 30, 2006, 06:03 PM

Originally Posted by Salty

I'm a student. I owe nothing to anyone here. And the boys I'm responsible for? If I were straight should I need to tell that to the parents of any girls I come into contact with?

It's hard to imagine we live in a very liberal country in the 21st century.

Salty · Mar 30, 2006, 06:03 PM

Oh other good lines have been.

YG Kid: "Well... yah, everyone else didn't know that?"
Nother Kid: "I was right all along!"
Nother: "Oh... but... we can still hang out right?"

One of my friends on campus who I recently told, we had this big heart to heart talk sorta thing, and he ended up asking me for a hug (he's straight) I was really tempted to grab his butt but I figured that'd be a lil momment killing

.

Oh another good conversation

(two YG kids wrestling)
Me: Wow I'm glad I'm not your sponsor anymore, now I don't have to tell you not to fight
Kid: You're not a sponsor anymore!?
Me: Nope
Kid: why!
Me: I'm gay
(stunned look)
Kid: Oh, whatever floats your boat..
... bit later...
Me: Yah the whole gay thing
Kid: Wait you weren't joking?
Me: No...
Everyone around burst out laughing... he's a dumb kid.

Apparently all of my fellow youth sponsors (some of who I didn't get along with at all) didn't approve off my removal. That said unfortunately the church while run very well in every other way. Has a bit of a cult of personality thing about the Sr. Pastor who I found out from his Niece said all the way back in November that he didn't see me staying with the church for very long. She's made it clear though that I can't discredit her uncle like that. Which pisses me off.

Anyway though, this whole experience has inspired some great poetry.

Ghoser777 · Mar 30, 2006, 06:06 PM

Wait... so all the posts where people accused you of being gay were actually right? I thought they were just trying to be mean...

How did you get kicked out of your YG?... if you don't mind me asking.

Doofy · Mar 30, 2006, 06:08 PM

Originally Posted by Salty

I'm gay

Well blow me down with a feather!

Salty · Mar 30, 2006, 06:10 PM

Oh, well the OFFICIAL reason was that I was a wee bit addicted to porn. I'd actually been doing phenomenally well during my internship. I had to tell the church leadership about that because there's this lil document that everyone working with kids has to sign. Basically designed to let them know about anything potentially scandalous that could come up. Unfortunately the current leadership of the church have taken it to be an opportunity for them to either force people to lie or alert them to something they can stick their nose in.
So anyway they instituted a bunch of restrictions + punishments which would be described by any long time ministry person with half a brain as spiritually abusive. I was told that unless I placated to these things then I'd be removed from ministry. I tried to work within them but they ended up producing 100% negative emotions, and all this stuff. Anyway I knew I had to get out of that. So as a result I ended up in a yelling match with our assoc pastor, called him a ****ing asshole (felt really good too!).
Ultimately I alerted the elder board to all of it with a 9 page letter. The response they sent was described by a friend as, "You know, for all those words, they didn't say anything". Apparently they still "love and care" for me. But they're not willing to say that something that was flat out sinful, was that. There's no precedent within Scripture for what was done, and there is if anything precedent for something else.

Anyway, so yah. That said I was told flat out that the porn issue wouldn't have been so big if not for the gay thing.

Salty · Mar 30, 2006, 06:11 PM

Originally Posted by Doofy

Well blow me down with a feather!

I'd rather not.

Apple Pro Underwear · Mar 30, 2006, 06:12 PM

i guess this is a sign of the times, i cared more about you f*ckin' around and offending gay folks rather than you actually being gay!

be gay and be happy. i personally love vaginas, but i can't put down cocks because I have one. so there.

Spliffdaddy · Mar 30, 2006, 06:14 PM

So now can I tell everyone I have gay friends.

Thanks MacNN!

Tomchu · Mar 30, 2006, 06:16 PM

Suddenly the name "Salty" takes on a whole new meaning, eh?

Ozmodiar · Mar 30, 2006, 06:19 PM

Star Wars Guy, you owe me $10.

nredman · Mar 30, 2006, 06:22 PM

Originally Posted by Tomchu

Suddenly the name "Salty" takes on a whole new meaning, eh?

gross dude

The Godfather · Mar 30, 2006, 06:29 PM

Originally Posted by Salty

I'm a student. I owe nothing to anyone here. And the boys I'm responsible for? If I were straight should I need to tell that to the parents of any girls I come into contact with?

I mean, only if the youth group activities included sleeping in the same common area and jello wrestling.

Tomchu · Mar 30, 2006, 06:33 PM

Originally Posted by nredman

gross dude

Agreed. I won't share my opinions about homosexuality here -- no reason to turn it into a flamefest. :-)

moodymonster · Mar 30, 2006, 06:36 PM

respect for being yourself

ps good job you double checked

Rumor · Mar 30, 2006, 06:38 PM

I spent a lot of my childhood growing up in a Gay community. I can say this from personal knowledge:

The common view of gay people being child molesters and perverts if way off base. Granted, some of them are, but no more so than straight people. Even though many of my gay friends would love to bed me, and make comments about, they know where the line is and never cross it. They say it in the same joking manner that many straight guys do towards women.

Point: There is nothing wrong with being gay. Sexual preference does not define a persons character.

More power to you Salty.

Mastrap · Mar 30, 2006, 06:41 PM

Originally Posted by Doofy

Well blow me...

You might want to watch statements like this from now on

But of course David is gay. It's been obvious for months, if not years.

abe · Mar 30, 2006, 06:43 PM

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy

So now can I tell everyone I have gay friends.

Thanks MacNN!

Who's the other one?

The Godfather · Mar 30, 2006, 06:43 PM

Originally Posted by Salty

Oh, well the OFFICIAL reason was that I was a wee bit addicted to porn. I'd actually been doing phenomenally well during my internship. I had to tell the church leadership about that because there's this lil document that everyone working with kids has to sign. Basically designed to let them know about anything potentially scandalous that could come up. Unfortunately the current leadership of the church have taken it to be an opportunity for them to either force people to lie or alert them to something they can stick their nose in.
So anyway they instituted a bunch of restrictions + punishments which would be described by any long time ministry person with half a brain as spiritually abusive. I was told that unless I placated to these things then I'd be removed from ministry. I tried to work within them but they ended up producing 100% negative emotions, and all this stuff. Anyway I knew I had to get out of that. So as a result I ended up in a yelling match with our assoc pastor, called him a ****ing asshole (felt really good too!).
Ultimately I alerted the elder board to all of it with a 9 page letter. The response they sent was described by a friend as, "You know, for all those words, they didn't say anything". Apparently they still "love and care" for me. But they're not willing to say that something that was flat out sinful, was that. There's no precedent within Scripture for what was done, and there is if anything precedent for something else.

Anyway, so yah. That said I was told flat out that the porn issue wouldn't have been so big if not for the gay thing.

Dude, I am really sorry for this blatant abuse. It was really undeserved, specially how they push towards compliance under threat of removal. The immunity, hypocrisy and unaccountability really shows in them.

davesimondotcom · Mar 30, 2006, 06:48 PM

Originally Posted by moodymonster

ps good job you double checked

Makes you wonder hoow many straight people can say they double checked to make sure they are straight?

abe · Mar 30, 2006, 06:49 PM

The Church has got to pay closer attention to the possibility of human weakness in regards to sexual indiscretion and the move to identify potential areas of future litigation is just an act of prudence on their part.

It's like a pre-emptive act.

I wish you happiness.

Doofy · Mar 30, 2006, 06:51 PM

Porn issue? While we're having a confessional you might as well tell us dude.

Scandalous Ion Cannon · Mar 30, 2006, 06:53 PM

Originally Posted by Ozmodiar

Star Wars Guy, you owe me $10.

For?

Doofy · Mar 30, 2006, 06:53 PM

Originally Posted by davesimondotcom

Makes you wonder hoow many straight people can say they double checked to make sure they are straight?

I think most hetero blokes "double check" any time they meet a new girl in a low cut top.

Ozmodiar · Mar 30, 2006, 06:54 PM

Originally Posted by Scandalous Ion Cannon

For?

Because superchicken came out of the closet. It was a joke.

Salty · Mar 30, 2006, 07:42 PM

Actually I was reading in a book on child molestation a while ago that apparently child molestation is almost exclusively done by men who identify themselves as straight. Beyond that most of them are married. I was very close to pointing out to the assoc pastor that there was a much better chance of him molesting a kid than me.

But yah, several of the kids have pointed out to me that the assoc pastor really has lost most of his credibility when it comes to them being willing to tell him anything. To which I feel a wee bit bad about, but ultimately I can't say he doesn't deserve it. The unfortunate part was that before this all happened we were pretty tight friends. Sadly he's one of those people that who after you tell never look at you the same again.
Sigh.

ambush · Mar 30, 2006, 07:42 PM

So much hate going on at the bible college.

SimeyTheLimey · Mar 30, 2006, 07:49 PM

Good for you for taking this step.

Salty · Mar 30, 2006, 07:50 PM

Originally Posted by ambush

So much hate going on at the bible college.

Actually the Bible College is pretty OK. The residence life people knew about me two years ago, my last room mate knew and was fine, I have about 7 guy friends in dorm that know (not a huge dorm, not that many close close friends). And 3 girl friends on campus that know. As well I just told a prof yesterday (had to explain why the church I interned at last semester booted me haha!).
It's the church that's sucky. My School's pretty liberal. Though if I were sexually active or something they'd have to have a problem. I'm not out here, simply because in dorm it'd be a wee bit awkward.

ironknee · Mar 30, 2006, 07:54 PM

if not salty, then super CHICK en has a new meaning.

child molestation, like rape, is all about the power not so much the sex....

so salty, how has this experience changed, if any, your view of your religion?