[krillbee]

I am 22, and havent been on more than a few dates in my life. Never been on multiple dates with one woman.
I want to change this, as I will be graduating college this spring, and starting to work towards meeting women, something that didnt happen much in college because i was busy.

I am interesting in 2 things, I am interested in meeting someone and having a relationship with them, or I would be fine starting out finding a friend with benefits.

The problem is, I've spoken to a few women, and they've told me a man cannot these 2 goals at once, and he really just wants one or the other. He either wants mainly sex, or mainly the relationship. I dont think this is true, but if women think this is true, then that could create a problem.

As for what I want:
I am opposed to one night stands. I want to know a woman for at least longer than a day before I do anything beyond kissing her. But I would be fine if I found a friend with benefits, to explore the whole physical thing with. Or I would be fine if I found a woman I liked and got in a relationship with (and if we did those other things eventually)

In the long run I want a relationship, but I'm thinking maybe it'd be smart to find a friend with benefits to get physical with first, that way I get it out of my system, so thats not all I'm thinking about when I'm finding a relationship. For someone who has never kissed a woman before, I'm very curious to know what thats like.

But women tell me that if I show a hint that I'm interested in friends with benefits, then all women will assume that all I want is sex.

Also I've been told that nearly all women who do that whole "friends with benefits" things, have been around the block a lot. And to be honest, I dont want the first woman I kiss, to be like that. I'd feel bad if the first woman I kissed was a whore.

If its true that nearly all the women who want friends with benefits are whores, then I will just forget it, and try to find a woman to be in a relationship with.


What do you all think would be the best way for me to go about achieving my goals?

[Scandalous Ion Cannon]

My lord you SOUND like a chick!

[DCapple]

well from a woman's perspective...you dont have to get a friends with benefits cause if you want physical things with a woman you can definitely get it (much better one cause you like her and you know her) when you have a relationship with her....

[Chuckit]

Get over yourself. That's how.

[ShortcutToMoncton]

I suggest…a prostitute.



greg

[Kr0nos]

Originally Posted by krillbee

Never been on multiple dates with one woman.

Maybe you should shoot for one date with multiple women.

Originally Posted by krillbee

What do you all think would be the best way for me to go about achieving my goals?

As others here have suggested, - get over yourself…and make sure you don't wind up on the wrong "side of the ladder". Other than that, you seem like exactly the type of person most women would appreciate (providing you are good looking and have at least some kind of money to spend, and save the insecurity issue you seem to have).

[King Bob On The Cob]

Get in a relationship, the physical part is sort of a package deal by the time you're over 20 (No matter what your chick friends say, women are humans too and have similar desires).

[torsoboy]

Originally Posted by King Bob On The Cob

Get in a relationship, the physical part is sort of a package deal by the time you're over 20 (No matter what your chick friends say, women are humans too and have similar desires).

Depends on the women that you date and are friends with. Not everyone believes that sex (or heavy petting, etc) is acceptable before marriage. Don't just expect the physical stuff when you get into a relationship... you may be disappointed.

I vote for starting by just asking someone out. Then ask someone else out. And repeat. After several dates you may be more comfortable with dating and know what it feels like to have a *good* date, and maybe then you should go out again with one of the girls you previously dated. Sometimes the problem for people that have done little-to-no dating in the past is that if they date someone and then that person doesn't immediately like them they get discouraged after just a date or two and call the whole dating thing off. Another common problem for people that haven't dated much is that if a girl shows ANY interest in them, they immediately believe that she is the only one for them, and are similarly discouraged when the relationship falls apart before it gets anywhere.

Start out not expecting a physical or long-term relationship, but just start by causal dating for the enjoyment of getting to know someone more than you previously have known them. Dates are for more than just a time to make a pass at someone and hope for something physical... they can be (and should be) enjoyable non-physical activities as well. Double dates might be a good thing for you since you haven't really had any experience in the past... double dating will allow you to get ideas for the dates from someone else (or in conjunction with), and it will allow you to not have the full burden of keeping the activities going smoothly rested upon yourself. It will also allow you to have someone to talk to after the date to see what their opinion is of how the date went.

My personal opinion is that you should do quite a bit of dating before deciding to attach yourself to any one individual, and then keep the relationship moving with that person without getting too physical... once you have gotten physical, it's hard to want to do much else while you are dating. And if you are always wanting to get physical, it's hard to learn more about what the person is actually like. Well, other than what their body is like.

Wait until marriage for sex. If it's the first time for both of you, she wont know any more than you will and you will both be able to explore the different possibilities together. I know that a lot of people here think that sex with anyone is just something casual and that there is nothing wrong with it, I just don't happen to buy into that thinking.

I hope I don't get flamed too badly for being a proponent of chastity before marriage... it's just my opinion.

[Chuckit]

Your advice is great, torsoboy, for people who want something other than what most people want. Not everybody believes that sex is acceptable before marriage, but probably 95 percent of people under the age of 40 do.

[phantomdragonz]

torsoboy, great advice...

I was once in a position like you, I am 20 as well...

I have been on a couple dates and they were totally lame, mainly because I was scared shi*less!

the best advice anyone has ever given me was "Be yourself, if they dont like who you really are then they are not worth your time"

So, go on a date, and be yourself, remember to be tactful and try to keep things from being boring, but as long as you are yourself then it should come naturally...


and physical things should not be the goal, while fun, I was not all that surprised, but not let down either.

my basic advice is this... be yourself, have fun, if you dont succeed then try again with someone else...

Oh, and about the relationship thing, go at it one day at a time! diving full force into what you think should be a relationship will only get you hurt, been there done that! take it one day at a time, if things dont work out then, well they dont, learn what you can and move on...

oh, and on advantage to dating women over 20, they are not nearly as childish as highschoolers! nad hopefully less mind games too.


Zach

[Super Mario]

Originally Posted by krillbee

I am opposed to one night stands. I want to know a woman for at least longer than a day before I do anything beyond kissing her.

You belong with Zimphire on myspace.com

[Stradlater]

Originally Posted by torsoboy

Wait until marriage for sex. If it's the first time for both of you, she wont know any more than you will and you will both be able to explore the different possibilities together. I know that a lot of people here think that sex with anyone is just something casual and that there is nothing wrong with it, I just don't happen to buy into that thinking.

I hope I don't get flamed too badly for being a proponent of chastity before marriage... it's just my opinion.

While sex shouldn't make or break a relationship, it shouldn't be so taboo as to necessitate wait for marriage's contract. Open communication is important, concerning sex and otherwise.

[torsoboy]

Originally Posted by Chuckit

Your advice is great, torsoboy, for people who want something other than what most people want. Not everybody believes that sex is acceptable before marriage, but probably 95 percent of people under the age of 40 do.

You are right that a lot of people believe that sex before marriage is okay, but I think your number is a little high.

Anyway, my advise was not just about sex before marriage. The main point of it was to just take it slow instead of jumping straight in expecting a long term (or physical) relationship. It's best not to become involved as you are just starting out I think. Go out with a bunch of different women before selecting one that you would like to get serious with. And all that other stuff I said in the above post.

[meelk]

So you're 22 and have never even kissed a woman? Maybe you're gay and dont want to admit it to yourself. Move to San Fran.

[Rumor]

If you want a relationship, remember to put down the toilet seat.

[RAILhead]

[Stradlater]

Originally Posted by krillbee

I want to know a woman for at least longer than a day before I do anything beyond kissing her... For someone who has never kissed a woman before, I'm very curious to know what thats like... I dont want the first woman I kiss, to be like that. I'd feel bad if the first woman I kissed was a whore.

Actually, I'm going to have to second Ion Cannon's "you SOUND like a chick" card.

Honestly, the whole idea of magical firsts is ridiculous. Love isn't a passive roller-coaster occurrence that is amazing the first time and slightly-less-so from then on out. Love is active and you're a participant whose particular experience will depend on your experience at large. The first time—kissing, sex—is no more than novelty; is awkward; is messy; is moved beyond.

Storybook firsts are romantic, yes, but rarely occur—and who cares, really? Have fun and don't sweat things.

[Mastrap]

The one thing hookers don't do, is kiss. Just FYI.

[Todd Madson]

That poster Mr. Railhead created was great!

Speaking from the position of a married guy who hasn't been in the dating
scene for a while - thank God I don't have to deal with that anymore.

I had my college fling and in some ways regret it. Not completely but it
ended taking a lot of time and energy to get over it once it blew up.

Don't worry about it so much. And when it DOES blow up in your face
don't waste five years pining for someone you were never meant to be
with permanently anyway.

Date a lot of people. Have fun. Do the speed dating thing. Go dancing.
Go to clubs, listen to bands and just see the world.

But surfing the web like this ain't gonna get you nowhere nohow.

[tooki]

Originally Posted by Todd Madson

That poster Mr. Railhead created was great!

Uh, no. Ha Ha guy is so very passé.

tooki

[krillbee]

Originally Posted by DCapple

well from a woman's perspective...you dont have to get a friends with benefits cause if you want physical things with a woman you can definitely get it (much better one cause you like her and you know her) when you have a relationship with her....

yeah, but with a relationship comes commitment. I'd take a relationship if i really liked her, and could get some physical signs right away, but if I wasnt sure about her... then itd be trickier.
Suppose I am not interested in her yet, if I dont make it clear that all I am currently looking for with her is friends with benefits, then unfortunaetly she might think I want a relationship, and it could end up hurting her if she realized i didnt want to date her.

And I'm not going to be in a relationship with someone, when there isnt anything except the physical tieing us together.


Don't get me wrong, the physical is a must, either in the relationship or with the friend with benefits. I want physical action no matter what. I would prefer it to be in the context of a relationship, so that the physical part could mean more. But I don't want just a relationship without the physical, no way.

Originally Posted by Chuckit

Get over yourself. That's how.

why do you think I am into myself? Just because I posted several threads about women and asking for advice?

Originally Posted by ShortcutToMoncton

I suggest…a prostitute.



greg

that would be a foolish way to spend your virginity and your money.

Originally Posted by Kr0nos

Other than that, you seem like exactly the type of person most women would appreciate .

thanks!

Originally Posted by King Bob On The Cob

Get in a relationship, the physical part is sort of a package deal by the time you're over 20 (No matter what your chick friends say, women are humans too and have similar desires).

If I get into a relationship with a woman who I am really not connected to, it could hurt her if I stop deciding to hang out with her later on.

Originally Posted by torsoboy

Depends on the women that you date and are friends with. Not everyone believes that sex (or heavy petting, etc) is acceptable before marriage. Don't just expect the physical stuff when you get into a relationship... you may be disappointed.

I still havent made up my mind as to when I'll have sex. But if she is going to be a complete prude, then I dont want to be in a relationship with her to begin with. I will back out, if I discover she is like that.

I vote for starting by just asking someone out. Then ask someone else out. And repeat. After several dates you may be more comfortable with dating and know what it feels like to have a *good* date, and maybe then you should go out again with one of the girls you previously dated....

I agree its good to have options, but I dont believe its good to date someone just for "practice" I feel like that is using someone.

Start out not expecting a physical or long-term relationship, but just start by causal dating for the enjoyment of getting to know someone more than you previously have known them.

Thats what I do with male friends, or women I am not attracted to. as I said before, the physical is a must in the dating equation. If its been 3 days and she hasnt even hinted that she wants to kiss me, I'm out.

Dates are for more than just a time to make a pass at someone and hope for something physical... they can be (and should be) enjoyable non-physical activities as well.

Of course, you dont want to be bored while dating someone. At the same time, the purpose of dating is to find something beyond friendship, and the part that seperates girlfriends from girl friends, is the physical aspect.

Double dates might be a good thing for you since you haven't really had any experience in the past... double dating will allow you to get ideas for the dates from someone else (or in conjunction with), and it will allow you to not have the full burden of keeping the activities going smoothly rested upon yourself. It will also allow you to have someone to talk to after the date to see what their opinion is of how the date went.

point noted.

My personal opinion is that you should do quite a bit of dating before deciding to attach yourself to any one individual, and then keep the relationship moving with that person without getting too physical... once you have gotten physical, it's hard to want to do much else while you are dating. And if you are always wanting to get physical, it's hard to learn more about what the person is actually like. Well, other than what their body is like.

If I get physical early, I'm okay with that, as long as I can still get to know her later. I know you believe thats not likely to happen, but I would like to believe differently. I cannot learn this particular thing, except through experience. If I feel the relationship is only physical and not going anywhere, I will break it off, or explain to her that I am downgrading her to a "friend with benefits".

Wait until marriage for sex. If it's the first time for both of you, she wont know any more than you will and you will both be able to explore the different possibilities together. I know that a lot of people here think that sex with anyone is just something casual and that there is nothing wrong with it, I just don't happen to buy into that thinking.

I hope I don't get flamed too badly for being a proponent of chastity before marriage... it's just my opinion.

I think that value can have its benefits. I dont think less of you for believing it. But I'm not sure if I agree. I want to be very sexually compatible with whoever I marry, and it becomes a lot harder to know that if you cant test drive the car.

At the same time, I come from a Christian background, and I've heard many of the positive reasons for waiting until marriage, and I agree with some of them.

So we'll see how it goes.

Originally Posted by phantomdragonz

Oh, and about the relationship thing, go at it one day at a time! diving full force into what you think should be a relationship will only get you hurt, been there done that! take it one day at a time, if things dont work out then, well they dont, learn what you can and move on...
Zach

Maybe I'm just young and stupid, but for some reason I don't think a woman could seriously hurt me. If I kiss her, sure it means I like her, but not enough that I'd cry if she left me. For a deep relationship she has to earn my trust, and I'm good at picking out people. Plus I have a heart thats hard to break.

Originally Posted by Super Mario

You belong with Zimphire on myspace.com

i dont get it.

Originally Posted by Stradlater

Actually, I'm going to have to second Ion Cannon's "you SOUND like a chick" card.

Honestly, the whole idea of magical firsts is ridiculous. Love isn't a passive roller-coaster occurrence that is amazing the first time and slightly-less-so from then on out. Love is active and you're a participant whose particular experience will depend on your experience at large. The first time—kissing, sex—is no more than novelty; is awkward; is messy; is moved beyond.

Storybook firsts are romantic, yes, but rarely occur—and who cares, really? Have fun and don't sweat things.

Psychology research has proven that we tend to remember our first experiences with certain things very well. I dont want to have a memory of me getting blow job by a hooker while wearing a condom, as my first physical encounter with a woman.

Why do I sound like a woman? Because I wont just hump anything that moves?

Originally Posted by Todd Madson

But surfing the web like this ain't gonna get you nowhere nohow.

No but it sure is a good way to pass the time until this horrid semester ends

[euchomai]

It sounds like you are trying to have a relationship without pain. I'm sorry, but that just isn't going to happen. You will hurt, you will meet girls that are not very nice, you will end up hurting someone else too and you'll look like the bad guy. It's just part of it all.

There has to be someone in one of your classes that you think there could be a connection with. Right?

[krillbee]

Originally Posted by euchomai

It sounds like you are trying to have a relationship without pain. I'm sorry, but that just isn't going to happen. You will hurt, you will meet girls that are not very nice, you will end up hurting someone else too and you'll look like the bad guy. It's just part of it all.

alright, then so be it, i guess that means ill have to learn some things the hard way.

There has to be someone in one of your classes that you think there could be a connection with. Right?

sadly i really dont know any of the women in my classes. i dont think i have any connections.

[Stradlater]

Originally Posted by krillbee

Psychology research has proven that we tend to remember our first experiences with certain things very well. I dont want to have a memory of me getting blow job by a hooker while wearing a condom, as my first physical encounter with a woman.

Why do I sound like a woman? Because I wont just hump anything that moves?

First experiences may be remembered, but they're almost always inevitably disappointments. Why try to orchestrate such a grand overture when the Act II finale is infinitely more satisfying? You can't spend forever waiting for the "perfect" introduction, settle for a fine one.

And stop being dramatic; we all know you're not looking for hookers. This is exactly what I mean when we say you sound like a woman—actually, it's just convenient. You sound like a woman because of your romantic idea of firsts.

[Railroader]

Originally Posted by krillbee

alright, then so be it, i guess that means ill have to learn some things the hard way.

sadly i really dont know any of the women in my classes. i dont think i have any connections.

Wow. Just... wow.

You realize that women are nothing special right. Simply female versions of humans.

Do you have male friends? I am going to go out on a very strong limb and say your answer is going to be "a couple".


Why do you think women are so unapproachable that you don't even meet the women in your classes? When I was in college I knew just about everyone's name in all of my classes. Even the large auditorium classes with hundreds of people.

[krillbee]

Originally Posted by Railroader

Wow. Just... wow.

You realize that women are nothing special right. Simply female versions of humans.

They can add a lot to a man's life.

Do you have male friends? I am going to go out on a very strong limb and say your answer is going to be "a couple".

i have at least a couple, and depending on what you mean by friends, i may say i have more than a couple. do you mean good/real close friends? friends you see every so often? friends u dont see often?

Why do you think women are so unapproachable that you don't even meet the women in your classes? When I was in college I knew just about everyone's name in all of my classes. Even the large auditorium classes with hundreds of people.

i know there names, i talk to them about class, and thats about it. I dont engage more with them, because my school is very cliquey and its hard to break barriers. Also its frustrating talking to an attractive women when odds are she probably isnt attracted to you and wont become attracted to you.

Originally Posted by Stradlater

First experiences may be remembered, but they're almost always inevitably disappointments. Why try to orchestrate such a grand overture when the Act II finale is infinitely more satisfying? You can't spend forever waiting for the "perfect" introduction, settle for a fine one.
.

I feel theres a balance you have to strike. I dont think the first women u kiss should be 'perfect' but i dont think she should be a random bar chick either.

[meelk]

Originally Posted by krillbee

Also its frustrating talking to an attractive women when odds are she probably isnt attracted to you and wont become attracted to you.

yeah, and staying silent, thats the winning approach!

[euchomai]

Please post a picture or video of yourself, I've just got to know what you look like. I have a mental picture going.

We need to have Salty come in and "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" you up.

[krillbee]

Originally Posted by euchomai

Please post a picture or video of yourself, I've just got to know what you look like. I have a mental picture going.

We need to have Salty come in and "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" you up.

sorry, but im not comfortable with posting my picture on these forums.

Originally Posted by meelk

yeah, and staying silent, thats the winning approach!

better than being known as the guy who hits on all the women in his psych classes!

and besides i dont think any of them women in my classes want me any way. ive heard that a lot have boyfriends or are engaged. and i go to a christian college, so many are probably saving their first kiss until marriage.

also a good portion of the school knows im a desperate man. i emailed 120 different women on facebook and told them that they were attractive and that i wanted to talk with them more. my school is only 3000 ppl.

[euchomai]

Oh crap.

[Kr0nos]

Originally Posted by krillbee

…and besides i dont think any of them women in my classes want me any way. ive heard that a lot have boyfriends or are engaged. and i go to a christian college, so many are probably saving their first kiss until marriage.

This thread (among a few others) reminds me of what is so completely FU<KED UP about fundamentalist Christian ideology.

Good goin' guys.

[Railroader]

Originally Posted by Kr0nos

This thread (among a few others) reminds me of what is so completely FU<KED UP about fundamentalist Christian ideology.

Good goin' guys.

You are seriously taking this guy as an example for what Christians are like?

You. Are. Clueless.

[Kr0nos]

Originally Posted by Railroader

You are seriously taking this guy as an example for what Christians are like?

No, actually this guy pretty much confirms the impression I have gotten over the years from reading some of Salty's, Zimpo's, 'abe's' and your etc. 'finer' posts.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by Super Mario

You belong with Zimphire on myspace.com

OMG someone with virtue and morals!


You know some people's vision of screwy is a bit... well screwy.

Originally Posted by Kr0nos

This thread (among a few others) reminds me of what is so completely FU<KED UP about fundamentalist Christian ideology.

Good goin' guys.

Because they don't share your moral or lack of moral beliefs?

Some of you have some serious issues.

Originally Posted by Kr0nos

No, actually this guy pretty much confirms the impression I have gotten over the years from reading some of Salty's, Zimpo's, 'abe's' and your etc. 'finer' posts.

I would say it was an exaggeration of it. Regardless that doesn't give you the right to make fun of someone about it.

Are you that insecure? Do you hate yourself that much?

I would say those that go out and try to hump anything they can have far more problems.

Atleast this guy doesn't go dumpster diving for women, and has a bit of respect for himself.

Nothing wrong with that.

[iLikebeer]

If one of the main things you're looking for is sex, and you're 22 without having sex, then you need to figure out a way to NOT come off the wrong way. You won't get a good girl like that. I've never said this before, but like someone else said before, if you're so hung up on the physical part, get a friggin prostitute and get that out of the way. Then you can concentrate on being your normal self around girls.

Here goes another one I never thought I'd say to someone on the internet. If you don't spank it, start now. You're way too hung up on the sex thing. Maybe see a sex therapist. You built sex way up into a lot more than it is. It would be one thing if you wanted to save yourself for that perfect girl, but if you don't really care and want some sex but are looking for the "perfect girl", you've been doing things the wrong way or getting bad advice for 7ish years. Time for a change of tactics.

[Kevin]

No therapist is needed. He is doing nothing wrong.

My advice to krillbee. Don't worry about sex. Find a gal YOU are happy with. Look for intelligence and one that is not superficial. Of course there will have to be some physical attraction between the both of you.

Don't go to a bar to find one.

Women can also smell desperation a mile away, and it's a turn off. Don't be too forward, or act too interested. Having a sense of humor is a plus.

The sex stuff will eventually come later if you are compatible.

What these jokers don't realize is, girls that will usually sleep with you on the first date, will also usually have no problem cheating on you.

Another thing, I've had girls come on to ME because of me not pawing at them all the time. Women for the most part expect a guy to "try something" and when they don't, suddenly the table turns.

Believe me.

[iLikebeer]

Originally Posted by Kevin

No therapist is needed. He is doing nothing wrong.

My advice to krillbee. Don't worry about sex. Find a gal YOU are happy with. Look for intelligence and one that is not superficial. Of course there will have to be some physical attraction between the both of you.

Don't go to a bar to find one.

Women can also smell desperation a mile away, and it's a turn off. Don't be too forward, or act too interested. Having a sense of humor is a plus.

The sex stuff will eventually come later if you are compatible.

What these jokers don't realize is, girls that will usually sleep with you on the first date, will also usually have no problem cheating on you.

Another thing, I've had girls come on to ME because of me not pawing at them all the time. Women for the most part expect a guy to "try something" and when they don't, suddenly the table turns.

Believe me.

No offense, but i disagree wholeheartedly. Anyone can go get laid if that's all they're looking for. Even the unlayable can go find a girl ready to shag. If that is such a necessity to him, he IS doing things wrong.

Either he thinks he's entitled to a hot girl he isn't able to talk to or he's gotten a lot of wires crossed. I could wait around all my life for Keira Knightley, and the physical part would be important (that smiley is for her btw) but it doesn't mean it's going to happen if i keep doing things the way i am now. Matter of fact, it's not even near bloody likely!

This situation reminds me of the guy from Van Wilder, except no wirgin could be that cool.

[Kr0nos]

Originally Posted by Kevin

Because they don't share your moral or lack of moral beliefs?

No, because their 'moral beliefs' (or rather lack thereof) are screwing with their ability to be a respectable person and lead healthy (sex-) lives. But you're right, – I shouldn't give a sh1t.

Originally Posted by Kevin

Are you that insecure? Do you hate yourself that much?

Pfff, the typical lame a55 inference and third rate psychobable. I don't hate myself at all and just call 'em as I see 'em.

Originally Posted by Kevin

Atleast this guy doesn't go dumpster diving for women, and has a bit of respect for himself.

Errr, it's not called self-respect, – it's called low s.o.

[iLikebeer]

Originally Posted by Kr0nos

This thread (among a few others) reminds me of what is so completely FU<KED UP about fundamentalist Christian ideology.

Good goin' guys.

Don't push this thread into the PL.
If you want a good dig, there's plenty of their retarded crap over there you can use against them, i would think.

You don't have to be a fundamentalist christian to be a wus, it happens to plenty of all types. Besides, something like 80%+ lose their virginity before high school is over. That doesn't mesh with the percentage of Christians, so obviously most all people of all beliefs have a thing for sex, which makes your point moot.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by iLikebeer

No offense, but i disagree wholeheartedly. Anyone can go get laid if that's all they're looking for. Even the unlayable can go find a girl ready to shag. If that is such a necessity to him, he IS doing things wrong.

I don't think he is JUST trying to get laid. SO he is NOT.

Either he thinks he's entitled to a hot girl he isn't able to talk to or he's gotten a lot of wires crossed. I could wait around all my life for Keira Knightley, and the physical part would be important (that smiley is for her btw) but it doesn't mean it's going to happen if i keep doing things the way i am now. Matter of fact, it's not even near bloody likely!

This situation reminds me of the guy from Van Wilder, except no wirgin could be that cool.

Again, you are supposing that being a virgin suddenly makes you uncool.

Is this Jr High all over again?

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by Kr0nos

No, because their 'moral beliefs' (or rather lack thereof) are screwing with their ability to be a respectable person and lead healthy (sex-) lives. But you're right, – I shouldn't give a sh1t.

Wow you have such a strange view on what is "respectable" One I am glad is not the norm.

Pfff, the typical lame a55 inference and third rate psychobable. I don't hate myself at all and just call 'em as I see 'em.

Kron there is a reason you lash out in such a hateful
way that you do. THAT isn't normal. That isn't respectable. Call it what you want. It's a self defense mechanism.

One doesn't have to have a degree in psych to see this.

Errr, it's not called self-respect, – it's called low s.o.

No, no bringing yourself down to that level is indeed self respect.

[Kr0nos]

Originally Posted by iLikebeer

You don't have to be a fundamentalist christian to be a wus, it happens to plenty of all types. Besides, something like 80%+ lose their virginity before high school is over. That doesn't mesh with the percentage of Christians, so obviously most all people of all beliefs have a thing for sex, which makes your point moot.

WTF? I was talking about how unattainable/skewed 'ethical goals and moral standrads' might fu<k with somebody's ability to cope with society, or their sexual instincts. - But nice inverse logic there.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by Kr0nos

WTF? I was talking about how unattainable/skewed 'ethical goals and moral standrads' might fu<k with somebody's ability to cope with society, or their sexual instincts. - But nice inverse logic there.

Like telling people if they don't get laid there is something wrong with them. Or if they aren't attracted to trashy girls that sleep with you on the first date.

Inverse logic indeed.

[iLikebeer]

Originally Posted by Kevin

I don't think he is JUST trying to get laid. SO he is NOT.

Again, you are supposing that being a virgin suddenly makes you uncool.

Is this Jr High all over again?

No, you misunderstood what I said. I even specifically said if he was saving himself for a perfect girl that's cool. But if he just wants sex now but still expects that perfect girl, that's pretty f'ed up. From his posts, it sounds like he's preoccupied with sex to the point he can't talk to a girl in a normal way. He needs help. He won't find it here. He's going to have to have a serious sit down and real life learning that he's somehow missed out on. Some people learn it through experience, others learn it through mentors. He sounds like he's out in left field and nothing is changing for him. He made a point to say he wants some sexual experience even from a friend with benefits or some random girl that's clean, that really doesn't sound like a guy that is worried about keeping his virginity.

That sounds like a guy that wants sex without any of the responsibilities or even equality/respect. You shouldn't be defending him, it sounds like he's got the same attitude towards women that would be termed disreputable by some and worse names by others.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by iLikebeer

No, you misunderstood what I said. I even specifically said if he was saving himself for a perfect girl that's cool. But if he just wants sex now but still expects that perfect girl, that's pretty f'ed up. From his posts, it sounds like he's preoccupied with sex to the point he can't talk to a girl in a normal way. He needs help. He won't find it here. He's going to have to have a serious sit down and real life learning that he's somehow missed out on. Some people learn it through experience, others learn it through mentors. He sounds like he's out in left field and nothing is changing for him. He made a point to say he wants some sexual experience even from a friend with benefits or some random girl that's clean, that really doesn't sound like a guy that is worried about keeping his virginity.

That sounds like a guy that wants sex without any of the responsibilities or even equality/respect. You shouldn't be defending him, it sounds like he's got the same attitude towards women that would be termed disreputable by some and worse names by others.

Hmm I didn't get that from his post. And if that is what you were referring to, I apologize, and I agree.

I sounds like he is getting lots of pressure to have sex from people that believe if he isn't something is wrong with him,

It sounds like he wants to hurry up and get it over with so he no longer feels that pressure from society. Which is also wrong.

[iLikebeer]

Originally Posted by Kevin

Hmm I didn't get that from his post. And if that is what you were referring to, I apologize, and I agree.

I sounds like he is getting lots of pressure to have sex from people that believe if he isn't something is wrong with him,

It sounds like he wants to hurry up and get it over with so he no longer feels that pressure from society. Which is also wrong.

I could be wrong, did get a bit tipsy tonight.
BUT, his whole post is hypocritical. He wants to lose his virginity somehow to some "clean" girl and then move on to a good relationship from there. Why is it ok for him to mess around like that and not girls. If it's okay for him to be a slut the way he's saying, shouldn't he give the same leeway to the girls he's potentially suiting? And if that's his objective, then he totally has male/female roles in today's society screwed up. Girls aren't playthings (unless that's what they want to be, same for guys), but his post reeked of a "girls are there for our pleasure" mentality imo.

He needs a mature "someone" to sit down with him and tell him the facts of life. Might be a rough judgement, but some people need that. Obviously, if he's 22, hasn't gotten any, and just wants some action, he does need advice from somewhere or anywhere.

[Kr0nos]

Originally Posted by Kevin

Like telling people if they don't get laid there is something wrong with them. Or if they aren't attracted to trashy girls that sleep with you on the first date.

Nice straw-man there. But please, - keep on topic and quit putting words in people's mouths, mmkay?!

[iLikebeer]

Oh, and I still think those girls are hot, IE!
Sorry if we derailed!
edit* lol, sorry, a friend distracted me, got the 2 threads mixed up. I won't delete that ^, but, um, yeah. nm!

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by iLikebeer

I could be wrong, did get a bit tipsy tonight.
BUT, his whole post is hypocritical. He wants to lose his virginity somehow to some "clean" girl and then move on to a good relationship from there. Why is it ok for him to mess around like that and not girls. If it's okay for him to be a slut the way he's saying, shouldn't he give the same leeway to the girls he's potentially suiting? And if that's his objective, then he totally has male/female roles in today's society screwed up. Girls aren't playthings (unless that's what they want to be, same for guys), but his post reeked of a "girls are there for our pleasure" mentality imo.

I agree 100%. He can't do one thing, and expect women to do another.

Originally Posted by Kr0nos

Nice straw-man there. But please, - keep on topic and quit putting words in people's mouths, mmkay?!

1. You don't know what a straw-man is obviously
2. I was keeping on topic
3. Not putting words in anyone's mouth.

You claim abstaining from sex is bad no? You claim it will cause problems no?

And I quote

WTF? I was talking about how unattainable/skewed 'ethical goals and moral standrads' might fu<k with somebody's ability to cope with society, or their sexual instinct

That is claiming that someone having ethics on sex is screwy.

[Kr0nos]

Originally Posted by Kevin

Wow you have such a strange view on what is "respectable" One I am glad is not the norm.

I don't care what you consider the 'norm'. Like I said, I just call 'em as I see 'em.

Originally Posted by Kevin

Kron there is a reason you lash out in such a hateful way that you do…

Blah, blah, blah…

Show me where I 'lash out in a hateful way'!

And no, simply critsizing something isn't 'lashing' out or being hateful. If you live in a unvirse where dissent isn't appreciated, that's your problem. I speak my mind, and will continue to do so. Regardless of how people like you perceive my statements.

Originally Posted by Kevin

No, no bringing yourself down to that level is indeed self respect.

Pfff, you gotta f*in kidding.