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Salty · Apr 11, 2006, 02:15 AM

OK well we've all heard mine for the most part, but I'm wondering I seems almost every gay person I've ever met has had some really funny stories that go along with it. So how bout it, the funniest responses that you've had to someone finding out you're gay.

My favourite was a woman from church who told me that I was simply choosing to be this way and that if I wanted to come back to Jesus all I had to do was repent.

So what's your favourite or funniest comments that you've gotten from other people?

Ozmodiar · Apr 11, 2006, 03:03 AM

Originally Posted by Salty

a woman from church told me that I was simply choosing to be this way and that if I wanted to come back to Jesus all I had to do was repent.

I don't consider that funny so much as ignorant. I'm not one to mock anyone's belief system, but holy shiat. I would have told her to shove it up her ****.

Salty · Apr 11, 2006, 03:36 AM

I hung up on her

Kevin · Apr 11, 2006, 04:40 AM

Are you THIS starved for attention?

analogika · Apr 11, 2006, 05:36 AM

Originally Posted by Kevin

Are you THIS starved for attention?

I took it as soliciting OTHERS' stories.

Are YOU this starved for attention?

Kevin · Apr 11, 2006, 05:59 AM

Originally Posted by analogika

I took it as soliciting OTHERS' stories.

Are YOU this starved for attention?

#1 There isn't much difference between this thread and the other 2.
#2 Salty has admitted to me in IM many times that he posts these things to "rile people up"

When someone admits to doing such a thing, esp him knowing what his original post will cause, it's a pretty easy bet.

analogika · Apr 11, 2006, 06:07 AM

Oh noes!

Is he pushing His Agenda™ on you?

Kevin · Apr 11, 2006, 06:13 AM

Originally Posted by analogika

Oh noes!

Is he pushing His Agenda™ on you?

Wow... how did you get that from what I was saying?

Go back and read what I said again.

So far you've made two posts that have been all out wrong.

Wanna go for a third?

jamil5454 · Apr 11, 2006, 06:18 AM

I like how still no one has posted any stories yet...

Kevin · Apr 11, 2006, 06:20 AM

The stories will be few and far between. That isn't really what Chicken wants.

He has on many occasion told me he posts these things to get people riled up.

He thinks it's funny.

Hence the LAST TWO threads he made.

jamil5454 · Apr 11, 2006, 06:50 AM

Maybe later tonight a few people will post. Most gays on MacNN I believe are in the Western hemishpere, and I can't really blame them for not posting at 6:50 in the morning.

Kevin · Apr 11, 2006, 06:53 AM

jamil you missed my whole point.

His reasoning for posting this isn't to get stories, but to create a huge flame.

He has admitted to me that he does this.

analogika · Apr 11, 2006, 07:07 AM

Originally Posted by Kevin

The stories will be few and far between. That isn't really what Chicken wants.

Now THAT is text-book Projection.

meelk · Apr 11, 2006, 07:22 AM

you're gay, we get it. enough already.

Kevin · Apr 11, 2006, 07:39 AM

Originally Posted by analogika

Now THAT is text-book Projection.

What part about him telling me he posts these threads on purpose to start flames didn't you get?

That's 3 for 3. Wanna go for 4?

qnxde · Apr 11, 2006, 08:27 AM

I just can't wait to see the documented antics of Salty's coming out transformation. He's all inquisitive about coming out stories etc, in 2 weeks he'll be experimenting with make up and pink feather boas and drinking cruisers and ohhhh exciting times!

Stradlater · Apr 11, 2006, 08:44 AM

First Kiss Stories. Krillbee join in on the fun!

production_coordinator · Apr 11, 2006, 08:53 AM

I was in college... and all of my friends were playing Doom via network... and they kept wanting me to play, but I just kept putting them off. They knew I was a 1337 haxor as I made a name for myself hacking the school's network. We all lived within a few blocks from one another... and we decided to run ethernet cables from one apartment to the next. When they came to my room to run the ethernet cable... they saw it. My Performa 6400. I was officially out of the closet. I was a Mac user.

Wait... is this what we are talking about?

Stradlater · Apr 11, 2006, 09:00 AM

She said, "Don't you make a sound or some **** is going down"
I said, "Why don't I just go out the window?"
"Yes, except for one thing, we on the 5th floor"
"****. Think. ****. Think. ****. Quick, put me in the closet."
And now I'm in this dark ass closet, tryin' to figure out just how I'm gonna get my crazy ass up out this house.

CMYKid · Apr 11, 2006, 11:02 AM

Originally Posted by Stradlater

She said, "Don't you make a sound or some **** is going down"
I said, "Why don't I just go out the window?"
"Yes, except for one thing, we on the 5th floor"
"****. Think. ****. Think. ****. Quick, put me in the closet."
And now I'm in this dark ass closet, tryin' to figure out just how I'm gonna get my crazy ass up out this house.

BEST Mad TV episode evar.

analogika · Apr 11, 2006, 11:08 AM

Originally Posted by Kevin

What part about him telling me he posts these threads on purpose to start flames didn't you get?

I remember you mentioning that back when he was a religious nut flamebaiting queers, homophobes, other religious nuts and anti-religious nuts.

I somehow doubt that this thread has much to do with his insecurity from back then.

Kevin · Apr 11, 2006, 11:51 AM

Originally Posted by analogika

I remember you mentioning that back when he was a religious nut flamebaiting queers, homophobes, other religious nuts and anti-religious nuts.

Um he still is religious, and still is the same Salty. Just because now he is saying he is gay, doesn't make him a different person analog.

I somehow doubt that this thread has much to do with his insecurity from back then.

Now THAT is a projection.

4 for 4

Salty like "Rousing people up" has nothing to do with him being insecure IF he ever was.

Salty seems pretty darn sure of hisself.

analogika · Apr 11, 2006, 12:35 PM

Originally Posted by Kevin

Salty seems pretty darn sure of hisself.

Yep.

And that's a 180-degree turnaround from before his coming-out.

qnxde · Apr 11, 2006, 12:36 PM

You're certainly flogging that pic for all it's worth, aren't you?

Salty · Apr 11, 2006, 03:08 PM

Frick Zimph. You seriously need to get a grip. I regularly post topics asking people what they think, or for stories. That's what a forum's for.

As for posting this to rile things up. Who should be getting riled up or offended? Gay people... nope I'm asking for them to tell stories that might be funny to hear. Straight people, don't see why. You... well perhaps since you seem to have some weird need to act as if I have some evil ulterior motives. If you notice you seem to be the only one who really has a real problem with the post.
Maybe YOU are the one who's posting simply to rile things up and cause trouble.

Dark Helmet · Apr 11, 2006, 03:16 PM

God could you guys have imagined the scene when Zimphires uncle came out?

They must have called Jesus 911 and rushed him off to Christ Camp to begin his "rehabilitation".

Funny thing is I know other gay men that have been through church rehab, graduate with flying colours and go home to have sexy with their boyfriend

Salty · Apr 11, 2006, 03:40 PM

Originally Posted by Dark Helmet

God could you guys have imagined the scene when Zimphires uncle came out?

They must have called Jesus 911 and rushed him off to Christ Camp to begin his "rehabilitation".

Funny thing is I know other gay men that have been through church rehab, graduate with flying colours and go home to have sexy with their boyfriend

Hence why I never went for it. I read a great book called, "Anything but Straight" it's about the ex-gay ministries, and wow... it's actually a really sad read. My favourite part, "When an attractive young man would join the group it seemed there were no shortage of men willing to be his prayer partner, yet the homely men always seemed to pray alone." or something to like that.

As well as a friend once put it, "Yah those things don't seem like a great idea, put a bunch of self loathing sexually confused people together and have them talk about their problems... and watch the fun ensue."

Seriously my church wanted me to join one of those things... the whole time I found myself thinking... you know... I bet I'd come out a whole lot worse...

Dark Helmet · Apr 11, 2006, 03:48 PM

Originally Posted by Salty

Seriously my church wanted me to join one of those things... the whole time I found myself thinking... you know... I bet I'd come out a whole lot worse...

Trust me you'd be warped beyond all believe. You might walk around with a fake smile and tell your family how much happier you are with your new "girlfriend" but secretly you would be suicidal. I couldn't even imagine what one would do 20 years later after living like that.

production_coordinator · Apr 11, 2006, 03:49 PM

Originally Posted by Salty

Seriously my church wanted me to join one of those things... the whole time I found myself thinking... you know... I bet I'd come out a whole lot worse...

Coming from a strait guy...

A) You aren't "bad" so you can't get "worse"
B) You are gay... it's OK [but you don't need to start a million threads about it]

Dark Helmet · Apr 11, 2006, 03:54 PM

Originally Posted by production_coordinator

Coming from a strait guy...

B) You are gay... it's OK [but you don't need to start a million threads about it]

I think it is still his way of dealing with it. Plus the other threads got locked.

I mean who else is he going to talk to? His self run "Clayshakers Christian Forum" is the last place he should look. His religious friends and family can't help and I am assuming Calgary Canada isn't the best place for gay men (even though they do have their own gay publication which I highly suggest Salty reads).

itistoday · Apr 11, 2006, 03:57 PM

Originally Posted by Salty

Frick Zimph. You seriously need to get a grip.

OH. MY. GOD.

KEVIN IS ZIMPHIRE???????????

WTFFFFFFF!DFOIASDFJSF OMFGBBQ!!!!

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!!!!!

nredman · Apr 11, 2006, 03:57 PM

davesimondotcom · Apr 11, 2006, 04:05 PM

Originally Posted by Dark Helmet

I think it is still his way of dealing with it. Plus the other threads got locked.

I mean who else is he going to talk to? His self run "Clayshakers Christian Forum" is the last place he should look. His religious friends and family can't help and I am assuming Calgary Canada isn't the best place for gay men (even though they do have their own gay publication which I highly suggest Salty reads).

I agree.

I think it is Salty's way of dealing with what he is going through as well. He has realized something new about himself and he wants to share it. It feels good for him to be open about his homosexuality.

I guess if people aren't interested in his threads, they should just skip 'em.

Dark Helmet · Apr 11, 2006, 04:08 PM

Personally I find it much more interesting that any recycled tragic news stories from Dailyrotten that a certain straight, know it all, Christian seems to post at nauseum.

Salty · Apr 11, 2006, 04:15 PM

For the record this isn't some new realization, I've known for a long time. And many of my Christian friends have been very helpful. Actually most of them have been the most helpful because they're willing to take what I sat at face value. They have expressed no desire to change me or be someone other than who I am convinced I should be. And they would love me regardless.
And I'm from Winnipeg SWG

My church friends that I still have also are great... I just have far fewer of them now.

Actually my roomie from last year wants to go to a gay bar with me, (no he's not gay trust me!).

But yah as for the whole ex-gay thing. I find the entire thing right now to seem entirely unchristian. I don't see the point in working my butt off pushing myself into self denial and all this stuff to become straight as if that is somehow better than being gay. Especially since scripture never holds up heterosexual behaviour as something to be striving for.
I think I'd probably just end up meeting a cute Christian boy to fool around with.

Dark Helmet · Apr 11, 2006, 04:19 PM

Originally Posted by Salty

For the record this isn't some new realization, I've known for a long time.

If that is the case why were you so anti-gay for so long? Projecting your hate of yourself at all gay men?

Kevin · 04:48 PM

Originally Posted by Salty

Frick Zimph. You seriously need to get a grip. I regularly post topics asking people what they think, or for stories. That's what a forum's for.

As for posting this to rile things up. Who should be getting riled up or offended? Gay people... nope I'm asking for them to tell stories that might be funny to hear. Straight people, don't see why. You... well perhaps since you seem to have some weird need to act as if I have some evil ulterior motives. If you notice you seem to be the only one who really has a real problem with the post.
Maybe YOU are the one who's posting simply to rile things up and cause trouble.

Salty you had admitted many times to me in instant message that you post these things like this to rile people up. Yes or no? (And think before you answer, logs exist)

Originally Posted by production_coordinator

B) You are gay... it's OK [but you don't need to start a million threads about it]

Bingo.

Originally Posted by Dark Helmet

If that is the case why were you so anti-gay for so long? Projecting your hate of yourself at all gay men?

Is that why you are so anti-Christian too?

Salty · Apr 11, 2006, 04:53 PM

Originally Posted by Dark Helmet

If that is the case why were you so anti-gay for so long? Projecting your hate of yourself at all gay men?

Honestly I've never felt anti-gay. I have been annoyed at the attacks by certain gay people made against my faith, which probably was why I said some things that weren't that hot. But really this whole thing came to light in about grade 9, I spent most of grade 10-11 trying to figure things out, by grade 12 it was like, it's something but it isn't who I am sorta thing, so there was like this weird disassociation. Then once I hit college I progressively learned far more to understand everything, I figured out how things related, answered a lot of my questions, and moved on to basically saying, I'm a Christian, and I think men are pretty sexy. Maybe last year and this year I finally got really comfortable with letting myself call myself gay. I don't know why before it was like, if I do that then that means that I have to go out and have sex with men or something. And I've never liked the assumption that because I am something then I have to be doing this.
There is a lot more to someone than their sexual desires so... I guess my big thing was trying to reconcile how I could be gay, which is typically seen as a life style that's presented in a manner where if you desire something you do it. With the fact that I refuse to do something simply because I have a compulsion.
So eventually I decided, I could be gay, and still retain my philosophical and theological outlooks on life. At that point it was OK. hit that about, maybe some time last year. And then this year has just been it flushing itself out. I'm actually very glad I didn't tell anyone before now, because this gave me the freedom to not be influenced more in my formative years by many people who would have shown no care for how much more screwed up I could get if put in one of those ex-gay things.
And for more screwed up, all through high school up till grade 12 I was massively suicidal, I have notable bonding issues (even to the point where I basically almost never touch another person. It is not uncommon for me to go through a whole day without any physical contact with anyone). I have a strange dichotomy of intense confidence in what I say think and feel, but very little confidence that anyone should value who I am on any level. And all kinds of other things. Most of which I'm working very hard to progress toward a more healthy mental state. And that's the thing. I never look at myself as, this is the final product. I look toward where I can head, and where I can go with who I am. I am a perpetually changing individual.

Uhh... if any of that last bit makes sense. I'm really still very much in a place of self discovery. But despite all the garbage going on in my life, this is the happiest I've ever been.

Funny side note, my room mate recently told me that he wished he could be like me since my life seems so peaceful. I nearly fell over. I haven't told him why I'm not working with our church youth group anymore, or that I've been kicked out of my church. Or any of the stuff happening at home. One really nice thing about typical straight guys... they're freaking clueless!

kmkkid · Apr 11, 2006, 07:45 PM

I'm gay. You're gay. We're all gay.

Doofy · Apr 11, 2006, 08:11 PM

Originally Posted by Salty

It is not uncommon for me to go through a whole day without any physical contact with anyone

Wait. What kind of touchy-feely love-fest have you chaps got going on over there? You say that like it's unusual or something.

dcmacdaddy · Apr 11, 2006, 08:28 PM

Originally Posted by Doofy

Wait. What kind of touchy-feely love-fest have you chaps got going on over there? You say that like it's unusual or something.

Physical contact between males is pretty normal, Doofy.

I mean, when you see a mate/pal/buddy you don't shakes hands or if he says something funny and an appropriate moment you don't give him a high-five or a slap on the back?

I've got a good friend and whenever we go out with a certain female friend of ours we give each other a big dramatic hug goodbye. She is the "huggy" type who hugs everyone she meets--and she's got a big rack, which is nice--but she always makes a dramatic gesture of hugging everyone goodbye when we part, so my buddy and I give each other big elaborate hugs to make fun of her. She knows why we do it and it torques her but we (my buddy and I) get a kick out of it. Plus, it torques up my buddy's girlfriend (who is the reason why this woman hangs out with us so much).

I think you are making a big deal out of nothing.

Doofy · Apr 11, 2006, 08:42 PM

Originally Posted by dcmacdaddy

Physical contact between males is pretty normal, Doofy.

I mean, when you see a mate/pal/buddy you don't shakes hands or if he says something funny and an appropriate moment you don't give him a high-five or a slap on the back?

Must be a cultural thing. I literally haven't touched a male since the Christmas session.
High five? Slap on the back? Doesn't happen.
Shake hands? Doesn't happen either - more like a "yo" and a nod.

Originally Posted by dcmacdaddy

I think you are making a big deal out of nothing.

I'm making a big deal out of it? I was simply wondering why Salty was making a big deal out of no physical contact for a whole 24 hours. Heck, I ain't even seen anyone since Saturday (that's rural privacy for ya). I guess I'm just not that needy.

kmkkid · Apr 11, 2006, 09:16 PM

Originally Posted by Doofy

Must be a cultural thing. I literally haven't touched a male since the Christmas session.
High five? Slap on the back? Doesn't happen.
Shake hands? Doesn't happen either - more like a "yo" and a nod.

I'm making a big deal out of it? I was simply wondering why Salty was making a big deal out of no physical contact for a whole 24 hours. Heck, I ain't even seen anyone since Saturday (that's rural privacy for ya). I guess I'm just not that needy.

What's with this 100% masculine complex of yours? I'm begining to think you're gay the way you push your masculinity.

Salty · Apr 11, 2006, 09:24 PM

There are a lot of touchy feely people at school that made me realize it. Actually what really hit me was after rooming with someone for most of a semester about a month in he tapped me or something and I tried to remember if he'd ever actually touched me before. And I was pretty sure he hadn't. I mean it's not as if I never touch anyone else... that said normally when guys in dorm do it it's in a play fighting manner.
Generally the more touchy but not annoyingly so people seem to be the most psychologically healthy.

Doofy · Apr 11, 2006, 09:33 PM

Originally Posted by kmkkid

What's with this 100% masculine complex of yours? I'm begining to think you're gay the way you push your masculinity.

Since you're not a chick, hitting on me will get you nowhere. So stop. I'm flattered, I really am. But stop. It'll only end in tears with you sobbing torrents of unrequited love into your pillow.

Doofy · Apr 11, 2006, 09:40 PM

Originally Posted by Salty

Actually what really hit me was after rooming with someone for most of a semester about a month in he tapped me or something and I tried to remember if he'd ever actually touched me before. And I was pretty sure he hadn't.

Right. Straight blokes never wonder about things like that (even with hot chicks they fancy), so I've really no idea what you're talking about. Seriously.

Must be some femmy gene you have making you wonder such things? I can imagine chicks wondering about stuff like that quite a lot.

Corpse of Chewbacca · Apr 12, 2006, 01:31 AM

Salty, just curious....why is it that I don't believe it when you say you are gay?

Perhaps because you have asked for advice on dating women.

Perhaps you are simply bi?

I don't care if you are gay. I think it all silly. I just notice this inconsistancy...paradox?

analogika · Apr 12, 2006, 02:21 AM

Originally Posted by Doofy

Wait. What kind of touchy-feely love-fest have you chaps got going on over there?

Heh.

You said "chaps".

kmkkid · Apr 12, 2006, 04:36 AM

Originally Posted by Doofy

Since you're not a chick, hitting on me will get you nowhere. So stop. I'm flattered, I really am. But stop. It'll only end in tears with you sobbing torrents of unrequited love into your pillow.

Mastrap · Apr 12, 2006, 05:59 AM

Originally Posted by Doofy

Must be a cultural thing. I literally haven't touched a male since the Christmas session.

You shagged Santa Claus?

But seriously, it is a cultural thing. When I first moved to North America I was surprised how much male hugging goes on. There's nothing sexual about it either, some people just do it. I found it weird the first couple of times, then you get used to it.