[macintologist]

http://shelleytherepublican.com/2006...computers.html

I'm talking about a project called 'Linux', something you may not have encountered, but might do some day.
It's a computer program that was initially developed in Finland as a means of circumventing valuable copyrights and patents owned by an American company called SCO Group.

Unlike Windows, which is a mature commercial product which is normally included with every new computer, Linux is given away. Now it may not sound like much of a problem, after all there is very little profit in merely giving a product away.

This would be certainly true were in not for the Linux project's seductive Marxist ideology and the effect that it has on 'Blue-State' liberals. Indeed, Linux is so pervasive amongst the blue states and many liberal universities that a leading computer expert Steve Balmer (from Microsoft) described Linux as cancer.

The American software industry is worth more than $7 Billion; Introducing a foreign product like Linux which is often copied for free could threaten that entire industry. A generation of computer users might get use to accepting foreign software hand-outs rather than paying for a superior American products. If only the danger were just to our economy:

These days computers control everything from TV stations to battleships; Our crucial information and defense infrastructure is built on computer technology. If we allow this cancer into our networks, there is no knowing what the effect might be on our infrastructure, but that is just what liberals are trying to do.

Imagine if the State of the Union address were hacked because the TV station decided to save money by using Linux? Imagine if a stealth-bomber crashed because it's software was written by anonymous Chinese or European hackers. It would make as much sense as inviting the French to come over and take over the White-House.

And guess what software Osama Bin Laden uses on his laptop?

If you guessed it was Linux you would be 100% right. Osama uses Linux because he knows designed to counterfit DVDs, curcumventing the Digital Millenium Copyright Act, and defraud companies like Disney.

Next time somebody asks you how Al Queda agents pay for their rifles and rocket launchers, you can tell them that foreign hackers make software called Linux which helps them steal from Americans.

[Dark Helmet]

idiotic.

Oh and this post after the story falls under that as well.

"Hi Tristan.
Thanks for your article.
I agree once again.
The name alone (LINUX) sounds kind of queer to me!
It's just some primitive European substitute for a real operation system like the mighty Windows XP.
Also I would like to mention that Apple's 'Mac Os X' is a real threat, too. This damn extrem leftwing company is giving millions to the democ-rats!!!
Also I suspect that this Mac OS is sending personal information to Apple and other communist companies and organizations!
Kindest of regards,
Shelley"

[sek929]

It's outrageous what some people believe isn't it?

[moodymonster]

it's gotta be a wind up, no one is that dumb.

[xi_hyperon]

This has to be a joke, à la the Landover Baptist site. No one could be that stupid.

[Dark Helmet]

Originally Posted by xi_hyperon

This has to be a joke, à la the Landover Baptist site. No one could be that stupid.

Don't count on it. Remember when Christian groups put out advisories to parents warning them that Sponge Bob has homosexual characteristics and not to let your children watch?

[moodymonster]

Originally Posted by Dark Helmet

Don't count on it. Remember when Christian groups put out advisories to parents warning them that Sponge Bob has homosexual characteristics and not to let your children watch?

oh dear

[xi_hyperon]

Well, this is true. When it comes to the Internets, it's sometimes difficult to discern reality from the parodies.

[ghporter]

Ya know, science has found a number of medications that reduce paranoid delusions to managable levels...

I remember the fuss about playing LPs backward to get "Satanic messages," and that was tripe too.

Hopefully this individual will get the help he needs. Or at least a good supply of alumium foil for a complete set of beanies to keep the space ailiens from reading his thoughts from the orbiting mothership.

[olePigeon]

Originally Posted by ghporter

I remember the fuss about playing LPs backward to get "Satanic messages," and that was tripe too.

If that were true, I would abought that album. That's so cool. Where there any heavy metal LPs that did that?

[ghporter]

Originally Posted by olePigeon

If that were true, I would abought that album. That's so cool. Where there any heavy metal LPs that did that?

Not so that humans could make it out. I think the fuss started because of the odd sounds The Beatles put into some of their songs, such as some on the White Album. But it was all poppycock and nonsense. Part of the "rock and roll is the devil's music" crap.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by olePigeon

If that were true, I would abought that album. That's so cool. Where there any heavy metal LPs that did that?

Yep. Led Zep 4.

"yes there are two paths you can go by" - Stairway.

[Doofy]

Oh. And as far as this Linux article goes, it looks like this Tristan guy is winding the Shelly chick up something rotten.

[Chuckit]

Originally Posted by sek929

It's outrageous what some people believe isn't it?

Hee. That was sly.

[Tomchu]

Haha, that site was being hosted on Linux until the 27th of April -- now it's Windows Server 2003.

On the 24th, someone did an nmap of the server and told "Shelley" that the server was a Linux server. Too funny.

[rambo47]

Sounds like some wanker that couldn't configure his distro and got all honked off because he was clueless.

[Chuckit]

Originally Posted by rambo47

Sounds like some wanker that couldn't configure his distro and got all honked off because he was clueless.

No normal human can configure his distro.

[ghporter]

I once heard the whole "Stairway to Heaven" cut played backward. I suppose someone might be able to make out real words in that, but I sure couldn't. And subliminal messages don't work backward to the extent that they work at all, so that theory is out the window.

Sure, it sounds weird as hell, but playing Led Zep or any other group backward is NOT really going to give you any messages. And Robert Plant said of the fuss over "Stairway" "To me it's very sad, because 'Stairway To Heaven' was written with every best intention, and as far as reversing tapes and putting messages on the end, that's not my idea of making music." Their label said "our turntables only play in one direction - forward." Perhaps the supposed message is a very interesting coincidence...I just don't buy it.

[andreas_g4]

Originally Posted by macintologist

If you guessed it was Linux you would be 100% right. Osama uses Linux because he knows designed to counterfit DVDs, curcumventing the Digital Millenium Copyright Act, and defraud companies like Disney.

What? Osama uses Linux to watch Finding Nemo?

[Chuckit]

Osama always gets choked up when Bambi's mother dies.

[Axel]

from the Meaning and Purpose link on the site's footer :

ShelleyTheRepublican.com is a satirical entertainment web site. "Shelley"* and her friends are fictional characters (*created 1999). Shelley's opinions are an amalgam of many of the right-wing pundits who are frequently featured on conservative TV and talk-radio.

Shelley's views are outrageous, offensive and wrong, but no more so than the right-wing pundits that saturate our media. The purpose of this website is to point out how utterly absurd these right-wing views are. The fact that you had a lingering doubt that she was "for real" meant that you too agree that Shelley's opinions reflect what some Republicans actually believe.

Naturally, Shelley is an exaggeration. No single Republican combines the religious mania of Pat Robertson, the brazen menace of Sean Hannity and the hysterical nonsense of Anne Coulter. Shelley is all of these people and more. The fact that you dislike Shelley means that there is hope for us all.

It's safe to say that almost all information in all of the articles on this site is false. The web site is designed to be funny. We hope it made some of you laugh.

If you don't find it funny, we kindly ask you to leave. If you don't want to leave, we beg you not to ruin the joke for others. If we have upset you we are truly sorry. Despite what Shelly might say, we truly appreciate your comments. Every one of you who commented on the site, you made our day. Thanks. We really mean it!

And now our final thought; Anybody can shoot down an utterly preposterous argument. We believe that it takes a great deal more rhetorical alacrity to argue for something that is blatantly insane. A child could find the flaws in Shelley's arguments and most teenagers have a better grasp on reality than that fool Tristan.

Imagine what it must have been like to be Scott Mcellan, GW's former press secretary. Like many Americans, I enjoyed watching Scotty squirm on that podium. Just like Scotty, we are working hard to keep you entertained (although we can not always comment because there are ongoing legal proceedings).

[tavilach]

Haha...

*Update:** This problem is now fixed, this website is now hosted on Windows 2003. I feel a lot better already!
Friends
People who know me can confirm that I am the last person that would not admit a mistake I made.
Therefore: I told you all that this website is not hosted on Linux and that was dishonest. But in my defense: I did not know any better, because my webmaster told me I was hosted on a solid Windows operating system. Now that I found out the truth I, of course, cancelled my webhosting and fired the webmaster immediately and signed up for REAL WINDOWS HOSTING! I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me, since many of you probably never would have visited this website if known that it was actually Linux hosted.
Just to let you know my friends, in the next days the website might be offline on an hourly basis but I am sure you might find that the website will be much better hosted in the future: Faster, more secure and first of all, I am not contributing to this strange Russian operation system called 'Linux'.
God bless and if the website might be down don't forget your friend Shelley and come back soon!
Yours,
ShelleyTheRepublican.com

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by ghporter

I once heard the whole "Stairway to Heaven" cut played backward. I suppose someone might be able to make out real words in that, but I sure couldn't.

http://jeffmilner.com/backmasking.htm

Originally Posted by ghporter

Sure, it sounds weird as hell, but playing Led Zep or any other group backward is NOT really going to give you any messages. And Robert Plant said of the fuss over "Stairway" "To me it's very sad, because 'Stairway To Heaven' was written with every best intention, and as far as reversing tapes and putting messages on the end, that's not my idea of making music." Their label said "our turntables only play in one direction - forward." Perhaps the supposed message is a very interesting coincidence...I just don't buy it.

Reckon it's also a coincidence that Page owned Boleskine House for a while?

[FeLiZeCaT]

Originally Posted by ghporter

Ya know, science has found a number of medications that reduce paranoid delusions to managable levels...

I remember the fuss about playing LPs backward to get "Satanic messages," and that was tripe too.

Hopefully this individual will get the help he needs. Or at least a good supply of alumium foil for a complete set of beanies to keep the space ailiens from reading his thoughts from the orbiting mothership.

Haven't CDs been created just so no one could listen to the songs backward and make fun of the Devil?

[ghporter]

The problem with Shelly being a satirical site is that for satire to be effective, even worth bothering to do at all, it has to be obvious. There are far too many crackpots and whackos out there espousing this sort of stance for it to be obvious in this case.

Doofy, I know about Page and his interest in the occult and in Aleister Crowley in particular. But he didn't write the lyrics, Robert Plant did. Maybe he influenced him...? Or maybe the "stuff" they both (along with the rest) enjoyed had more influence?

This site has a great take on the whole thing about "Stairway:" it means 1) nothing, 2) something really deep or 3) whatever you want it to.

Whatever the truth about this particular song, a LOT of loonies went way off the deep end about "backward lyrics" for a long time. See this site for some background. An amazing assortment of bands were accused of this practice, and some of them were just plain NOT CAPABLE of such deception (they didn't have the production values to record decent vocals, let alone carefully crafted vocals that would be understandable at all backward). As you can probably tell, this is a sore subject with me.

[voodoo]

Originally Posted by xi_hyperon

This has to be a joke, à la the Landover Baptist site. No one could be that stupid.

Indeed it is. I spotted that after reading the first three lines

People can be stupid, but not in every conceivable way like Shelley "the republican". The humor is very close to the Landover Babtist as you mention.

V

[kmkkid]

[JoshuaZ]

Wow, this thread has made me wonder....

Time to watch The Wizard of Oz while playing my copy of Dark Side of the Moon....

[ink]

Wow. Our company has close to 20,000 installed Linux boxes around the US and Canada.

I never knew we were terrorists!

[Axel]

Originally Posted by JoshuaZ

Wow, this thread has made me wonder....

Time to watch The Wizard of Oz while playing my copy of Dark Side of the Moon....

I did it with a couple of friends a few months ago. I think it's a tad far-fetched to say that the pseudo-sync has been made on purpose. At one point I was bored and switched the music to OK Computer and I found the sync to be as interesting, if not more.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by Dark Helmet

Don't count on it. Remember when Christian groups put out advisories to parents warning them that Sponge Bob has homosexual characteristics and not to let your children watch?

A small minority was saying that. Most including Christians, considered them a bit wacky.

You always find ways to work Christians into irrelevant threads though.

[Dr.Michael]

The profile of this genius linux hater:

# Gender: female
# Astrological Sign: Cancer
# Zodiac Year: Snake

Doesn't that tell us a lot ?

This is not funny at all.
If you read this as a european no doubt is left that these kind of people might really exist in the US. Weird kind of humor.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Dr.Michael

If you read this as a european no doubt is left that these kind of people might really exist in the US.

Nowt to worry about. It's not like we don't have our own special kinds of whacko here in Europe, is it?

[Dr.Michael]

Originally Posted by Doofy

Nowt to worry about. It's not like we don't have our own special kinds of whacko here in Europe, is it?

For example? LePen, Berlusconi, Haider? I don't think they come close.

[voodoo]

Originally Posted by Dr.Michael

For example? LePen, Berlusconi, Haider? I don't think they come close.

ME

V

[G Barnett]

Originally Posted by olePigeon

If that were true, I would abought that album. That's so cool. Where there any heavy metal LPs that did that?

Dunno about heavy metal, but a friend once found a New Kids on the Block song that when played backwards clearly had the words: "He's the best, SATAN!"

Always knew something was fishy about them....

[Jawbone54]

Originally Posted by Chuckit

Osama always gets choked up when Bambi's mother dies.

And I was wondering why he held such a grudge against us.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Dr.Michael

For example?

Well, there's quite a few people in Europe who seem to think that *everything* is George W Bush's fault. Like when they stub their toe, for example.
Yes, really.

[Jawbone54]

Originally Posted by Kevin

A small minority was saying that. Most including Christians, considered them a bit wacky.

You always find ways to work Christians into irrelevant threads though.

I know a pastor/worship leader who has a Sponge Bob sticker on his guitar case. Everyone I know in my demonination laughs the gay Sponge Bob issue off as ridiculous.

[Oisín]

Originally Posted by macintologist

http://shelleytherepublican.com/2006...computers.html

Okay, that gave me a few good laughs. But for Christ’s sake, get a spellchecker.

Originally Posted by Kevin

You always find ways to work Christians into irrelevant threads though.

Nothing new about that, though, is there? Is it even worth pointing out anymore? Isn’t it easier just to ignore it?

1. If you read this as a european no doubt is left that 2. these kind of people might really exist in the US. Weird kind of humor.

1. What, an American reading it wouldn’t reach the same conclusion?

2. And you don’t think these people exist in Europe? I assure you, they do. A formerly very prominent politician up here (Mogens Glistrup, may he burn), for example, has been known to spout crap far worse than anything in that article on a regular basis in the media. Idiocy, bigotry, narrow-mindedness, and the tendency to spread FUD like a lidless combine harvester by speaking long and loudly on subjects you know nothing about is in no way limited to the US.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Oisín

Idiocy, bigotry, narrow-mindedness, and the tendency to spread FUD like a lidless combine harvester by speaking long and loudly on subjects you know nothing about is in no way limited to the US.

And is in no way limited to those whose politics you disagree with either.

And you have to admit, the following Mogens Glistrup idiocy is inspired:

During the Cold War, he gained notoriety for suggesting to replace the Danish defence force with an answering machine saying "We surrender" in Russian.

[turtle777]

Originally Posted by Kevin

You always find ways to work Christians into irrelevant threads though.

And homosexuality as well.

*sigh*

-t

[Oisín]

Originally Posted by Doofy

And you have to admit, the following Mogens Glistrup idiocy is inspired:

Yes... much as I loathe and despise the man, he does have his moments of political satire gold.

[Railroader]

Another post and run by macintologist.

[Chuckit]

What do you suppose he should've said afterward?

[Kevin]

Well Chuckit it's kinda rude to post and then run isn't it?

It's considered to be rude in all the forums I have ever visited.

Most even call it trollish.

Now saying that I am not attempting to guess mac's motivations, just saying what Rail said is justified.

esp if he has a habit of it.

[Railroader]

Originally Posted by Chuckit

What do you suppose he should've said afterward?

Actually, other than a bunch of emoticons he didn't say anything at all. And, it's obviously a partisan post and should be placed in the pol lounge.

[turtle777]

Originally Posted by Railroader

Actually, other than a bunch of emoticons he didn't say anything at all. And, it's obviously a partisan post and should be placed in the pol lounge.

-t

[Obi Wan's Ghost]

Terrorists use Windows according to the Pentagon who analyzed computers found in Afghanistan etc

[Chuckit]

Originally Posted by Kevin

Well Chuckit it's kinda rude to post and then run isn't it?

It's considered to be rude in all the forums I have ever visited.

Most even call it trollish.

Now saying that I am not attempting to guess mac's motivations, just saying what Rail said is justified.

esp if he has a habit of it.

Well, I mean, he was just pointing out a joke he thought was funny. A couple of laughing smilies about sums it up — it's not like he could be expected to have any deep commentary there. I don't really see how you could call that trolling.