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Spook E · May 29, 2006, 10:42 PM

So there's this guy that plays basketball with us once a week (+ 1 training session), and latelly he has turned into some kind of weird email stalker on me.

For instance, i got three emails from him before lunch today, none of which i replied to, and then the first thing that lands in my inbox upon my return is from him asking if my morning has been busy! That isn't normal in my books, especially from a guy that i see once a week and don't particularly have any overwhelming urges to be friendly with.

The above scenario is pretty typical of late, yesterday i got 13 emails from him, a third of which i replied to i would say. In the end he degraded himself to the point of sending me one line emails asking if one liners annoyed me!!

So figuring that there are a similar level of weirdos on the NN

i thought i would turn to you lot for advice. How do i best politelly shake him off to the point where he is managable, yet i don't crush his already fragile ego (he explained to me that he has no other mates, this behaviour is probably why, and based on other's tales it seems to confirm this assumption) and can still enjoy playing basketball once a week.

The other scary thing is that he wants me to install MSN messenger, you know what that means

Severed Hand of Skywalker · May 29, 2006, 10:45 PM

What is he e-mailing you exactly?

If you want to lose him never reply to the emails and never discuss the content of the emails when you see him in person.

abe · May 29, 2006, 10:49 PM

Well, you know what they say. Whatever you RESIST will PERSIST! I'd say you just start "doin him" and then after a few months he'll eventually find someone else, want to break up and then you'll be free.

Spook E · May 29, 2006, 10:52 PM

Yeah i never discuss the emails when i see him (he actually says very little to me in person), thats one strategy i've been using, that and lengthening the period between recieving and replying and replying to every second or third one.

The original ones contained topics mostly on basketball, now its moved on to how is my day, family, gf, blah blah blah. The other thing of note is that he doens't actually reply to what ive said, its like its an excuse for him to put his thoughts, theories and life stories on to me.

I'm suprised he keeps writing as we have very little in common:

Him: 24, wife and 2 kids, mortgage, baptist.

Me: 25, gf, lives at home, headonist.

Unsuprisingly he is a Helpdesk Administrator.

Spook E · May 29, 2006, 10:53 PM

woohoo! Veteran member status! How sad

Abe>>

This apparently has been his pattern in the past, i'm the latest in a long line of this husseys prey!

Severed Hand of Skywalker · May 29, 2006, 10:54 PM

he sounds lonely and waning to make friends.

Anyway, you can try bouncing the emails and say your account is filling up as you don't get to check your emails to often.

schamae · May 29, 2006, 10:58 PM

"yesterday i got 13 emails from him"

this isnt normal or "just lonely", its scary. tell him to screw off. "Please dont email me or talk to me. I play basketball with you because you are there, not because you are a friend."

I'm curious as to why you had to ask on the internet for a method of telling someone to piss off? Just tell them to piss of, end of problem.

Doofy · May 29, 2006, 11:03 PM

Just sit him down and say "dude, too much!"

He's obviously lonely. But he has no idea how to handle starting friendships. Just sit him down and tell him your complaints. You know, like a man.

Obi Wan's Ghost · May 29, 2006, 11:32 PM

Make him not like you by revealing your true colors.....

Salty · May 29, 2006, 11:40 PM

Honestly, this sort of friend can be one of the most loyal you'll ever have. Simply get one or two friends you enjoy being around with, and socialize him. Let him learn the rules for your group, and eventually he'll be a nice addition. Seriously we did it with one of my good friends in highschool... actually correction I did it with a friend in Jr. High, who then forced me to help him with a friend in Highschool. I also did it with my best friend at School Jeremy. All you have to do is lay down the rules, help them feel as if they're confident in a social situation, and then you can set down any rules you want for how much they can talk to you.
It's actually a nice thing, you get a friend who you don't have to worry about feeling as if they are one up over you, and getting all cocky, and they get someone to convince them that they're worth something.

Chuckit · May 30, 2006, 12:11 AM

Originally Posted by Severed Hand of Skywalker

Anyway, you can try bouncing the emails and say your account is filling up as you don't get to check your emails to often.

Doesn't really help his root problems, but this is the easiest blow-off.

CharlesS · May 30, 2006, 01:03 AM

This is what that Bounce to Sender feature is actually for (it doesn't work against spammers as they always have fake return addresses).

Spook E · May 30, 2006, 01:38 AM

Originally Posted by tutelary

"yesterday i got 13 emails from him"

I'm curious as to why you had to ask on the internet for a method of telling someone to piss off? Just tell them to piss of, end of problem.

I ask because my other mates and associates all say the same thing :"he's a freak, tell him to piss off"

Not my style so i thought i would turn to the learned wisdom of the Lounge as people here would morre likelly to have experienced this sort of thing, as opposed to my inner circle who are either A: Tactless B: Don't sit in front of a PC all day and have the potential for this problem to arise.

abe · May 30, 2006, 05:56 AM

Originally Posted by Spook E

woohoo! Veteran member status! How sad

Abe>>

This apparently has been his pattern in the past, i'm the latest in a long line of this husseys prey!

Ok Spook E, I'm going to ask a different question to everyone here: Everyone, let's shift our thinking to what it is that people do to bug you or turn you off, or what are your pet peeves?

That way Spook E can just start doing these things and his crush will just disappear.

Or, you could just PRETEND you are gay and make a pass at him. Then IF he goes for it you can tell him you were trying to determine IF he was gay, and now that you know HE IS, you can say that you aren't interested. Problem solved.

If he says, "Gee Spook E, I'm not gay." Then you just act GAYER! And he'll either try to kick your ass or ease away from you. If he kicks your ass you file charges against him. Problem solved.

If he eases away from you. Problem solved.

If he's straight but bi-curious. You're ****ed.

If he's straight and he decides he wants to do his Christian duty to help you 'straighten up,' you're ****ed.

abe · May 30, 2006, 06:00 AM

Offer him some crack.

sabrejim · May 30, 2006, 07:40 AM

Yeah so on the flip side, how do you make friends without sending 13 emails?

Doofy · May 30, 2006, 07:53 AM

Originally Posted by kaze0

Yeah so on the flip side, how do you make friends without sending 13 emails?

Just grab her boobies and tell her that Barry White made you do it.

memory-minus · May 30, 2006, 08:33 AM

Originally Posted by Doofy

Just sit him down and say "dude, too much!"

He's obviously lonely. But he has no idea how to handle starting friendships. Just sit him down and tell him your complaints. You know, like a man.

This is the best advice in this thread. Set your boundaries with him and stick to them. If he really wants to be your friend he'll respect them. He might turn out to be a good, loyal friend! If not, just flat out tell him not to contact you anymore, and tell him it's because he didn't respect your boundaries. No need to use subversive or "gay tension" tactics in this situation as, from your description, he just sounds like a lonely guy. I think we've all been there at one point or another.

Monique · May 30, 2006, 09:43 AM

First tell him to stop.

People always take advantage of you with your permission.

There are gays people in Tasmenia; he might be a closed gay.

abe · May 30, 2006, 09:55 AM

Originally Posted by memory-minus

This is the best advice in this thread. Set your boundaries with him and stick to them. If he really wants to be your friend he'll respect them. He might turn out to be a good, loyal friend! If not, just flat out tell him not to contact you anymore, and tell him it's because he didn't respect your boundaries. No need to use subversive or "gay tension" tactics in this situation as, from your description, he just sounds like a lonely guy. I think we've all been there at one point or another.

Your advice is just too darn sensible.

ambush · May 30, 2006, 10:14 AM

Just say your wife takes all your time.

brapper · May 30, 2006, 10:44 AM

Originally Posted by Monique

First tell him to stop.

People always take advantage of you with your permission.

There are gays people in Tasmenia; he might be a closed gay.

ambush · May 30, 2006, 10:47 AM

Monique, I told you not to forget your meds again.

What's wrong with you?

Monique · May 30, 2006, 10:57 AM

Yes Ambush, typical Canadian, go for the insults instead of concentrating on the actual thread. What do you call your wife a b.... come I want to f... tonight.

sabrejim · May 30, 2006, 10:59 AM

Dude just answer his questions!

mac1896 · May 30, 2006, 11:12 AM

First thing !

Don't send him harassing e-mails, they can be turned against you !

Keep ALL his emails in a seperate file.

Discuss this situation with him while at least 2of YOUR friends/b-ball buddies are with you so nothing can be used against you.

If he acts evasive (he might if he feels he's being cornered) when talking to him about this situation with your friends, then let it go for a day or so.

If he still haunts you, it may be time to find out what church he goes to (you say he's a Baptist), and have a PRIVATE conversation with his Pastor/Worship Leader about this situation.

Many churchgoers WILL heed their Pastor's advice (that is, if the pastor speaks to the man about it at all).

No Pastor likes his church to look bad because of one person.

If the pastor calls you on it instead, invite him over and show him the emails, complete with headers for positive ID.

I'd consider it a last step before calling the police.

Kevin

Jawbone54 · May 30, 2006, 11:19 AM

The guy sounds like a bit of a loon.

I second the "sit him down and be honest" advice. You don't have to be rude or abrasive. Just let him know that it's too much.

Socially Awkward Solo · May 30, 2006, 11:20 AM

Originally Posted by Monique

Yes Ambush, typical Canadian, go for the insults instead of concentrating on the actual thread. What do you call your wife a b.... come I want to f... tonight.

Well you're your typical racist when you bark out your "Typical Canadian" line and he was perfectly in his right to wonder what the hell you were talking about with your "gay" comment.

Does this sound like something a normal non-medicated person would say?
"There are gays people in Tasmenia; he might be a closed gay."

I don't even expect something that stupid from Zimphire.

Fred_Cokebottle · May 30, 2006, 11:25 AM

stop taking a bath for a month, or get really bad breath (eat onions). if it works great, your turn with the emails.

davesimondotcom · May 30, 2006, 12:12 PM

I would just sit him down and say, "I'm glad you want to be my friend. But as a friend, you shouldn't harass me all day with emails. If you need something, by all means, email, but otherwise, please remember I have things to do with the rest of my day."

turtle777 · May 30, 2006, 12:29 PM

Originally Posted by Monique

There are gays people in Tasmenia; he might be a closed gay.

WTF ?

-t

turtle777 · May 30, 2006, 12:30 PM

Originally Posted by Fred_Cokebottle

stop taking a bath for a month, or get really bad breath (eat onions). if it works great, your turn with the emails.

Or, you could just quit your job right away, w/o going through a dirty phase...

-t

Monique · May 30, 2006, 12:35 PM

It could bed that he will sue you for harrassment. I wonder if he did that to someone else.

Socially Awkward Solo · May 30, 2006, 12:36 PM

Originally Posted by Monique

It could bed that he will sue you for harrassment. I wonder if he did that to someone else.

Ya you wouldn't want to get sued for "Bed harrassment".

ambush · May 30, 2006, 12:40 PM

Monique t'as besoin de te faire dégraisser...

Monique · May 30, 2006, 01:08 PM

Originally Posted by ambush

Monique t'as besoin de te faire dégraisser...

Mais où as-tu appris ton français, tu n'as pas été à l'école longtemps; dans un sens je comprends bien, tu as de la difficulté à te concentrer vu que tu as tombé sur la tête quand tu étais petit.

We should excuse this jerk since he fell on his head when he was young; and that the way people like that treat women. Cannot concentrate on the thread prefer to make stupid remarks.

About the harrassment thing, if you answer his e-mail, he might show that you are the one . We live in law suits society and he is probably lots of trouble.

Socially Awkward Solo · May 30, 2006, 01:40 PM

Originally Posted by Monique

We should excuse this jerk since he fell on his head when he was young; and that the way people like that treat women. Cannot concentrate on the thread prefer to make stupid remarks.

What are you talking about? Now he hates woman because he has brain damage?

You need help Monique.

turtle777 · May 30, 2006, 02:00 PM

Monique and Ambush, a new dream couple is born

-t

ambush · May 30, 2006, 04:26 PM

Oh yes I fell on my head Monique. That's right.

Just make sure you don't forget your daily dose, ok?

"vu que tu as tombé sur la tête quand tu étais petit."
correction: vu que tu es tombé ....

Monique needing help is an understatement, SWG. She needs psychiatric attention, at least.

zmcgill · May 30, 2006, 04:31 PM

Originally Posted by Monique

There are gays people in Tasmenia; he might be a closed gay.

Haha! I saw that in Ambush's sig and I was like, "That sounds like something Monique would say." Then I read this thread.

turtle777 · May 30, 2006, 04:32 PM

Originally Posted by Gossamer

Haha! I saw that in Ambush's sig and I was like, "That sounds like something Monique would say." Then I read this thread.

-t

Socially Awkward Solo · May 30, 2006, 04:37 PM

Originally Posted by ambush

SWG. She needs psychiatric attention, at least.

I am not one of those people that go around telling people they need a shrink but her and one other person on here have some serious mental and social issues that demand attention. It is like watching a train-wreak in slow motion.

Chuckit · May 30, 2006, 04:38 PM

Originally Posted by ambush

Monique needing help is an understatement, SWG. She needs psychiatric attention, at least.

Is that actually Monique?

turtle777 · May 30, 2006, 04:42 PM

Originally Posted by Chuckit

Is that actually Monique?

If so, Ambush is really much more intimate with her than we all thought

-t

Monique · May 30, 2006, 04:42 PM

No it is not.

Socially Awkward Solo · May 30, 2006, 04:45 PM

Originally Posted by Chuckit

Is that actually Monique?

Can you actually picture her smiling?

Doofy · May 30, 2006, 04:55 PM

Time to lay off Monique, chaps.

Fred_Cokebottle · May 30, 2006, 05:58 PM

Originally Posted by what_the_heck

Or, you could just quit your job right away, w/o going through a dirty phase...

-t

Hellohh! there is something called a - vacation? no?

turtle777 · May 30, 2006, 06:09 PM

Originally Posted by Fred_Cokebottle

stop taking a bath for a month, or get really bad breath (eat onions)

Originally Posted by Fred_Cokebottle

Hellohh! there is something called a - vacation? no?

So this is what you do on vacation ?

-t

Nicko · May 30, 2006, 06:19 PM

Ignore the email, eventually he will figure out you're too busy to answer them...

ofcourse that might just cause him to write even more emails.