[brapper]

So I was driving with some friends tonight when we were going over a bridge. We noticed a guy looking over the guard-rail and someone in the car said, "looks like he's going to jump.."

Sure enough, he did.

And it was weird. He didn't stand there and give is one last thought à la the movies, he just looked over and jumped. Very surreal.

So we pulled over and they called the police while I ran back to the bridge to make sure he wasn't just jumping down a couple feet to the edge of the hill, or something of the like. No such luck, he was laying in the middle of the road below the bridge and several cars were stopped and people were attending to the scene. It was a good 100 foot drop. (bridge at the base of Mt. Pleasant for those who know Toronto)

I'm not too sure what to think of it. I felt more emotion when a car I was in hit a stray dog on the highway. I'm not upset at all, just feel it was a little strange to see. Wouldn't say I was in shock and I'll feel something later either. Maybe the movies and TV have really dulled me to it.. maybe it was just it was impersonal, that I don't know the guy.

I'm just not too sure what I'm supposed to think/feel having witnessed that.

Actually, I'm jsut venting here 'cause no one is up at home, and I thought I would see what it was like to talk about it.

Hopefully there's something in the papers about it tomorrow that gives it some context, I guess I'm more curious than anything.

[black bear theory]

sorry to hear about it. it must be a hard thing to witness. things that are out of your control are hard to deal with sometimes.

you had no role in his decision, so don't feel guilty.

[greenamp]

Your lack of emotion at 1st may have had a little to do with it being a suicide, as opposed to him having accidentally fallen off the bridge instead.

[Obi Wan's Ghost]

Know what you mean. I just don't care if I see a dead human or animal anymore. Not affected by it. The media, war, terrorism, coca cola and all that has killed my senses.

[greenamp]

I'm the exact opposite. Seeing a lifeless human body ( a real one )always gives me chills and sends me into a fit of introspection for days.

[Obi Wan's Ghost]

That's what happens when you play Nintendo. Play GTA on PS2 instead. You'll never feel a thing again!

[tavilach]

Originally Posted by greenamp

Your lack of emotion at 1st may have had a little to do with it being a suicide, as opposed to him having accidentally fallen off the bridge instead.

I'll second greenamp's thought. If his death were not by his own will, your empathy would probably put you in shock. Because it was a suicide, there was nothing to really trigger an emotional response. When someone commits suicide, friends and family react emotionally because they miss the person who died, they can't understand why that person would choose end his/her life, and/or they feel horrible that the person felt so helpless. Because you didn't know the guy, you had no reason to miss him, and you had no reason (beyond curiousity) to wonder about his intentions. You also might have had trouble feeling bad about his helplessness, as that requires knowing his personality.

If it were me, I probably would have been in shock at the sight of the jump. I would have also been sincerely grossed out by the sight of the body, but I really don't know if I would have been any more saddened or empathic than you, for the reasons above.

I doubt it has all that much to do with movies/TV/games, as a real dead body is a very new experience.

In any case, I'm very sorry that you had to witness such a tragedy, and that it had to occur in the first place. Don't worry about being too cold hearted: I think that many people would have reacted the way you did.

[abe]

Originally Posted by Obi Wan's Ghost

That's what happens when you play Nintendo. Play GTA on PS2 instead. You'll never feel a thing again!

Preserved for a future debate on the harmfulness of video games.

[demograph68]

post some pictures please and thank you

[Salty]

That's sad. I think perhaps if you had been suicidal yourself you'd feel more emotion for the man. It's sad when someone finds life too hard to continue.

[ghporter]

I'll disagree with tavilach and greenamp. Your lack of obvious emotion is calles "being stunned." It happens a lot when people witness violent events, even if they don't see the actual violence.

Make sure you have someone to talk to, and talk to them SOON. This person victimized everyone who saw him as much as if someone had victimized him by throwing him off the bridge. Seek counseling. Really. It IS that important. And I'm sorry you had to see that.

[Eug Wanker]

Mount Pleasant and what cross street? Bloor?

I guess people are looking for other bridges, now that the Bloor Viaduct has that fence up to prevent jumping.

[moodymonster]

sometimes the body delays a reaction to extreme things. If we went to pieces everytime something bad happened we'd be useless is a bad situation.

Some people faint at the sight of blood, others are surgeons.

[Oisín]

Originally Posted by ghporter

I'll disagree with tavilach and greenamp. Your lack of obvious emotion is calles "being stunned." It happens a lot when people witness violent events, even if they don't see the actual violence.

I don’t know... I remember seeing a girl on the road some time towards the end of 2003. She’d been riding her bike, when a bus or lorry (can’t remember) hit her. Her body was flattened out and cut into at least three pieces (upper body, lower body, and an arm lying somewhere off to the side), with lots of innards hanging/lying out everywhere. I should have been ‘stunned’, but I wasn’t, somehow. It didn’t really affect me all that much, except for a general feeling of, “Ew, that’s kind of gross”. I thought I’d probably have a reaction later on, but I’m still waiting for it now, almost three years later.

[blackbird_1.0]

That's sad to hear.

[shunt]

That's pretty terrible, I'm sure any of his family/friends will be crushed.

[Jawbone54]

I'd concur with those who said that you need to find someone to talk to about it.

My brother was working at LSU Medical Center in Shreveport in the late 90's. There's an atrium indoors that is 8 stories high, with balconies overlooking on each floor. On the 8th floor one day, he stepped through a door onto the balcony, and saw a woman standing on the other side of the guardrail, looking down at the ground. As the door shut behind him, she was startled, looked at him, and jumped before he could say anything. He said it sounded like a shotgun blast as she hit the floor. Her visa had expired and it was likely that she wasn't going to be able to return to the U.S. My brother suffered for several months.

Life is extremely hard, and I can actually empathize with people who are or have been suicidal considering that I suffered through severe depression throughout high school. That being said, suicide is the most selfish act a person can perform. It hurts the family members who will never understand, it hurts the people who observe it, and it certainly eradicates the possibility of that person ever finding happiness. I hate suicides.

I wish you the best in dealing with this, and I hate that you had to see that.

[tavilach]

Originally Posted by ghporter

I'll disagree with tavilach and greenamp. Your lack of obvious emotion is calles "being stunned." It happens a lot when people witness violent events, even if they don't see the actual violence.

Make sure you have someone to talk to, and talk to them SOON. This person victimized everyone who saw him as much as if someone had victimized him by throwing him off the bridge. Seek counseling. Really. It IS that important. And I'm sorry you had to see that.

I didn't mean to imply that he shouldn't find someone to talk to, and I'll second your strong opinion on that. You certainly would know more about this type of thing than myself. I was just trying to make sure he wouldn't feel bad if he didn't end up feeling very emotional, after all.

[greenamp]

Originally Posted by Salty

That's sad. I think perhaps if you had been suicidal yourself you'd feel more emotion for the man. It's sad when someone finds life too hard to continue.

You're so emo.

[Yose]

Originally Posted by Eug Wanker

Mount Pleasant and what cross street? Bloor?

I guess people are looking for other bridges, now that the Bloor Viaduct has that fence up to prevent jumping.

Apparently Spadina Subway station is the big place now that the "Veil" has gone up.

…But don't ask me to produce any numbers on this.

[Goldfinger]

Originally Posted by Oisín

I don’t know... I remember seeing a girl on the road some time towards the end of 2003. She’d been riding her bike, when a bus or lorry (can’t remember) hit her. Her body was flattened out and cut into at least three pieces (upper body, lower body, and an arm lying somewhere off to the side), with lots of innards hanging/lying out everywhere. I should have been ‘stunned’, but I wasn’t, somehow. It didn’t really affect me all that much, except for a general feeling of, “Ew, that’s kind of gross”. I thought I’d probably have a reaction later on, but I’m still waiting for it now, almost three years later.

I'd probably have the same reaction. As long as it isn't someone you actually know and you weren't part of the accident you tend to care less/not. Well it's like that for me anyway.

Originally Posted by Jawbone54

I'd concur with those who said that you need to find someone to talk to about it.

Not all people need councelling or someone to talk to.

[brapper]

Originally Posted by Eug Wanker

Mount Pleasant and what cross street? Bloor?

I guess people are looking for other bridges, now that the Bloor Viaduct has that fence up to prevent jumping.

Ya, right at the base of Mt. Pleasant as you get on from Bloor.
First night back in Toronto for in awhile, so I wasn't aware that there's netting on the Viaduct now.

Talked about it with my family and some friends today...feeling fine, but thanks for all your well wishes.

[davesimondotcom]

Originally Posted by brapper

First night back in Toronto for in awhile, so I wasn't aware that there's netting on the Viaduct now.

Steve from the Barenaked Ladies told me about the netting.

He got so upset about people jumping from there he wrote a song about it.

[FeLiZeCaT]

Originally Posted by brapper

Ya, right at the base of Mt. Pleasant as you get on from Bloor.
First night back in Toronto for in awhile, so I wasn't aware that there's netting on the Viaduct now.

Talked about it with my family and some friends today...feeling fine, but thanks for all your well wishes.

I am sorry you had to see that. Glad you had some people to talk to.

Piece of advice; you don't have to talk to someone if you don't want to. But talking usually helps much more in the long term than not. The thing is to do it when the need for it happens. What works well is to write it down, like you did here. That helps also.

Anyway, sorry again you had to see that. Take care of yourself: you're the most important person of your life!

[CollinG3G4]

Originally Posted by greenamp

You're so emo.

What is the advantage of planting emo grass?



It cuts itself!

[Buckaroo]

http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=e...p;t=k&om=1

[Buckaroo]

http://www.boldts.net/photos/TorBj.1.jpeg

[greenamp]

Originally Posted by CollinG3G4

What is the advantage of planting emo grass?



It cuts itself!

[DigitalEl]

Yesterday must've been Suicide Saturday. I'm a 911 operator / police dispatcher in a mostly quiet suburb. I took a call from a girl yesterday who said her boyfriend had just shot himself in the head. Usually such calls are people crying for help... Just (pun intended) head cases. Not yesterday. A guy who's 21st birthday is today (Sunday) had put a gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger.

He supposedly did it b/c he had overwhelming financial problems. Well, now it's worse. You see, he used a .22 caliber short to do it. Instead of blowing his head clean off, he simply caused himself a lot of pain. He's gonna need some dental work, but he is gonna live. Add the fact that he'll now miss some work and have a bunch of medical bills added to his other financial problems and he's back at square one... Times 100.

Sick sad world.

[SSharon]

Yikes digitalel.
I have known a number of people that have attempted suicide and one at camp that went through with it. The hardest case I had though was an 80 year old man that tried slitting his wrists in the middle of the night. My ambulance responded to him and he told us he was unhappy with his wife (who was not only in the room but called us). He had such poor circulation though that he didn't bleed enough to die or even pass out. He was just sitting there palms up with a bloody knife in his hands and very deep cuts.

That episode bothered me much more than the teenager I was called to that tried to OD on some pills. Even though I feel like I should have more sympathy for the younger one I didn't.

[James L]

Originally Posted by DigitalEl

Yesterday must've been Suicide Saturday. I'm a 911 operator / police dispatcher in a mostly quiet suburb. I took a call from a girl yesterday who said her boyfriend had just shot himself in the head. Usually such calls are people crying for help... Just (pun intended) head cases. Not yesterday. A guy who's 21st birthday is today (Sunday) had put a gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger.

He supposedly did it b/c he had overwhelming financial problems. Well, now it's worse. You see, he used a .22 caliber short to do it. Instead of blowing his head clean off, he simply caused himself a lot of pain. He's gonna need some dental work, but he is gonna live. Add the fact that he'll now miss some work and have a bunch of medical bills added to his other financial problems and he's back at square one... Times 100.

Sick sad world.

Yikes digitalel.
I have known a number of people that have attempted suicide and one at camp that went through with it. The hardest case I had though was an 80 year old man that tried slitting his wrists in the middle of the night. My ambulance responded to him and he told us he was unhappy with his wife (who was not only in the room but called us). He had such poor circulation though that he didn't bleed enough to die or even pass out. He was just sitting there palms up with a bloody knife in his hands and very deep cuts.

That episode bothered me much more than the teenager I was called to that tried to OD on some pills. Even though I feel like I should have more sympathy for the younger one I didn't.

Weird....

I did a hanging call this week, and an unsuccessful T3 overdose a few weeks before the hanging (I think they are still mad at me for giving them narcan).

And this isn't even the high time of year for suicides.



To the original poster:

It is not uncommon to not feel a great sense of sadness or loss with what happened to you.

You didn't know the person in life, therefore you haven't really "lost" anything with their unfortunate death.

I can only echo what many people here have already said. If you are feeling like you are coping ok with what you saw, that is ok. No need to feel guilty or unsettled by the fact that you aren't grieving that much.

But, if you feel troubled by what you saw, if it is effecting your sleep, if it is effecting your work, if it is effecting your relationships, if it is effecting your diet, if it is effecting your concentration, etc... then please talk to someone.

If you cannot think of who to talk to, just phone the emergency room of your hospital and ask who you can talk to, or phone the police and ask for their victims services people. They can point you in the right direction.

Cheers,

James L