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iranfromthezoo · Aug 13, 2006, 02:02 PM

Okay so I am just a little perturbed (is that a word) today...

I am a RA here at college and I live in a apt. well there is no one here except the soccer team so it is has been quiet really until last night when I was abruptly woken up by a soccer player outside of my door saying GD, MF, B as loud as possible...well I was intrigued to who he was talking to...so I listened for a while...since I could not go back to sleep because of it....well it was his girlfriend and he told her he loved her after saying that and much more....how in the world can you tell someone you love them after literally cussing them out and calling them a worthless w*ore? It amazes me!

well as I was heading out this morning I had snuff on my door and there was ketchup on the door handles of the doors next to me and all over the breezeway along with trash galore...I thought I was in middle of a recycle factory....and I am the person who hates mess.

Okay so I am really amped up and really want to have a shout fest with every single soccer player, fine every single one of them $100 and put them on probation which means if they do one more thing they are kicked out...

what would you do in this situation...am I over reacting....I mean it just pisses me off first when a guy says that to a girl and secondly the childish way they act....

how do you keep your cool...what do you say do? what would you do?

BlueSky · Aug 13, 2006, 02:30 PM

You might start by realizing that testosterone can do weird things to a male, and it's not going to change anytime soon. I think evolution is still trying to figure out what to do with the excess, and is meanwhile storing it in the cerebral cortex, which introduces some unfortunate, yet predictable displacement issues. In other words, there's a lot of dîckhéads out there.

Someday we'll power our cars with it though. That'll be cool.

hickey · Aug 13, 2006, 03:15 PM

it couldn't hurt to ask one of the soccer players to clean it up, or tell them that the person who made the mess has to. Be stearn, and remind that if they dont clean it, they will all get fined and put on probation. Don't let these poopheads get away with crap like that.

Peter · Aug 13, 2006, 03:16 PM

soccer schmucks.

iranfromthezoo · Aug 13, 2006, 03:31 PM

you nuts...haha

I told them to clean it up....it pisses me off because they tried to be my friend once they found out who I was....

I know now they all have run 10 100's tomorrow during each practice which is 4 times...so 40 100 yard runs...

hopefully will teach them..

brassplayersrock² · Aug 13, 2006, 03:34 PM

the RAs here would go door to door asking people for information about what happened and if they knew anything

Alex

iranfromthezoo · Aug 13, 2006, 03:40 PM

yeah thats what we normally do but there is no one here yet and they are all soccer players and only say he had problems with his g/f

Doofy · Aug 13, 2006, 03:49 PM

Someone define "RA" for me? Like a prefect or something?

Thanks.

brassplayersrock² · Aug 13, 2006, 03:50 PM

resident advisor. college students who can help out others in dorms
to get a little more into it

RD: Resident Director: RAs boss, the ones who take care of consistent problems with students. ie: bad roommates, RAs try to help out and if the situation isn't improved, the RDs have a sit down with the roommates.

Alex

mitchell_pgh · Aug 13, 2006, 04:25 PM

You MUST set the tone NOW, or this year is going to really ugly. (I was an RA in grad school, and didn't mind it.)

It's always easier to lighten up as the year goes on as compared to getting more strict.

I would overreact by a factor of 10X. I'd call them in, one by one... and question them. I would also go and talk to the coach during practice (so they can see you talking to them) and mention something about it. Also, I would say "if there is one more episode like last weekend, we will not have overnight guests (or whatever you can do) until school starts bla bla bla.

Just my 2�

iranfromthezoo · Aug 13, 2006, 04:36 PM

yeah I understand...I`ve never had this many problems this early...

I went into their apartments and basically went off...

I walked in and called all of them into the living room and said okay you guys have hit my nerve...If I ever hear you yell profanity or any more of that crap, if you throw a party or anything...if you as so much throw a piece of paper on the ground you will be fined $100 and I will put you on probation and if you screw up one more time you will be kicked out.

If I catch you guys throwing a party I will wait until you are intox. and I will have the police show up along with coach getting a call at 2 in the morning. I do not play and I'm not going to be around the bushes...you best understand this because I'm not Jesus...I don't have the concept of forgiveness in my mind...

needless to say none of them said anything....and I also threw my hands around and yelled loudly...

they didn't like that at all but what else can you do?

Dakar · Aug 13, 2006, 04:36 PM

I'll take the opposite side from Mitchell (no offense). We're at college here, a place where they finally have some freedom from their parents. If you impose yourself as some kind of absolute authority figure you're asking to get rebelled against. Instead you need to pose more as a friend, like a big brother. Warn them that if something is good enough to bother you, you consider it good enough to bother the whole floor. Play a sympathetic role where possible.

You let them know what happened isn't right, and unless they want to feel like they're living back at home, they need to tone it down immediately. Give some type of slap on the wrist for what happened, but tell them what horrible type thing will happen (which you WILL do) if this repeats. Hell, tell them things would be way, way worse for them had they done this while school was in session, but next time, it doesn't matter.

Doofy · Aug 13, 2006, 06:28 PM

Originally Posted by brassplayersrock

resident advisor. college students who can help out others in dorms
to get a little more into it

RD: Resident Director: RAs boss, the ones who take care of consistent problems with students. ie: bad roommates, RAs try to help out and if the situation isn't improved, the RDs have a sit down with the roommates.

Thanks Brass.

milhous · Aug 14, 2006, 02:08 AM

not to say that such things should be tolerated, but is it really that surprising? kids come into college with the perception that they won't be held accountable for their actions, that everything is in the name of freedom of speech and can therefore do whatever they want.

i do agree however that ra's should act in a more mentoring capacity.

IceEnclosure · Aug 14, 2006, 07:55 AM

Eff that. Ketchup on the door handles? I'd pee on those guys.

brassplayersrock² · Aug 14, 2006, 08:30 AM

Originally Posted by milhous

not to say that such things should be tolerated, but is it really that surprising? kids come into college with the perception that they won't be held accountable for their actions, that everything is in the name of freedom of speech and can therefore do whatever they want.

i do agree however that ra's should act in a more mentoring capacity.

meh. my folks told me that if i ****ed up than they wouldn't let me go to my dream college. worked for me

Alex

DeathToWindows · Aug 14, 2006, 09:20 AM

I'd bring the Hammer of God down on them. You are the RA, that is essentially what you're paid for - so kick some jock ass.

IceEnclosure · Aug 14, 2006, 09:40 AM

We used to smoke weeee in my gf's dorm at UF. The standard toilet paper roll stuffed with fabric softener sheets worked well for masking the smell. Blow it out an open window and you're good to go.

TubaMuffins · Aug 14, 2006, 03:23 PM

Originally Posted by IceEnclosure

We used to smoke weeee in my gf's dorm at UF. The standard toilet paper roll stuffed with fabric softener sheets worked well for masking the smell. Blow it out an open window and you're good to go.

Yea, that sounds familiar. Anyway, don't be their friend, they need a strict superior. the idea of college is that you are a grown up entering the real world, they do not need a babysitter.

mitchell_pgh · Aug 14, 2006, 03:52 PM

Originally Posted by Dakar

I'll take the opposite side from Mitchell (no offense). We're at college here, a place where they finally have some freedom from their parents. If you impose yourself as some kind of absolute authority figure you're asking to get rebelled against. Instead you need to pose more as a friend, like a big brother. Warn them that if something is good enough to bother you, you consider it good enough to bother the whole floor. Play a sympathetic role where possible.

You let them know what happened isn't right, and unless they want to feel like they're living back at home, they need to tone it down immediately. Give some type of slap on the wrist for what happened, but tell them what horrible type thing will happen (which you WILL do) if this repeats. Hell, tell them things would be way, way worse for them had they done this while school was in session, but next time, it doesn't matter.

Dakar,

No offense taken.

I really wish I could have been their friend first, but I just saw how it worked out with others... and my way seemed to work well (obviously everyone has a different personality and different way of keeping order). I was friends with most of them as the year went on... but I was very strict the first 3-4 weeks. I didn't let much go without raising a stink [I also got aggressive around finals]. Punishment was swift but reasonable (I would usually let them pick the punishment)...

I set the tone early [which gave me time to figure out who was real trouble and who wasn't]. Most of the real troublemakers figured out that they couldn't be crazy in my dorm... so they moved on to other dorms or houses to get crazy and be destructive. I would let things slide from time to time... (being a little drunk when they rolled in, them being a little loud, etc.) but for the most part, many people respected the rules.