[reader50]

Blackbody Enterprises, Inc.
No fixed address
Phone numbers change daily. Call for the latest number.
email accepted, at the usual server.

Since most of our products do not officially exist, that means we must not either. This allows us to save on security expenses and pass those savings directly on to you, our valued customers.

Cybernetic Units
We liberated these from a warehouse in New Mexico. Refurbished units have been examined and are certified to work within specifications.

†_$400 T-01 Rfrb [41 in stock] All new batteries. Great for sentry duty in controlled environments.
†_$500 T-01 New [10 in stock] Great for sentry duty in controlled environments.
__$1,800 T-600 Rfrb [18 in stock] Skin has been replaced, joints greased. Recommended for unattended duty anywhere.
__$2,500 T-600 New [35 in stock] Mobile bipedal combat platform. Recommended for unattended duty anywhere.
__$4,000 T-800 Rfrb [15 in stock] Some surface scars. Enhanced bipedal combat platform. Unlimited duty profile.
__$5,300 T-800 New [7 in stock] Some surface scars. Enhanced bipedal combat platform. Unlimited duty profile.
__$5,200 T-850 Rfrb [sold out] Upgraded CPU, otherwise same as T-800. Unlimited duty profile.
__$7,000 T-1000 New [5 in stock] Morphing infiltration unit. Flexible environmental adaptation capability.
__$21,500 T-X New [19 in stock] Appearance morphing infiltration unit. Unlimited duty profile.
__$1,999 T-X Alternate behavioral program package. Very popular.

Space Ships
Hacking a Pentagon inventory computer caused these retired vessels to be sold as surplus instead of being scrapped and demilitarized.

†_$1,000,000 SVX14 Rfrb [1 in stock] 2 person, prototype, max range approx 100 lightyear.
‡_$1,500,000 SV15 Rfrb [5 in stock] 3 person, max range approx 160 lightyear.
‡_$1,800,000 SV15C Rfrb [15 in stock] 3 person, max range approx 160 lightyear, includes spin booster coil.
§_$2,100,000 SVX17 Rfrb [2 in stock] 6 person, prototype, max range approx 220 lightyear.
§_$2,500,000 SV19 Rfrb [11 in stock] 7 person, max range approx 280 lightyear.
§_$3,000,000 SV19A Rfrb [4 in stock] Same as SV19, armament complement doubled.
§_$5,000,000 SVX25 Rfrb [1 in stock] 20 person, prototype cruiser, max range approx 450 lightyear.

Handheld Gear
At some point, you have to hit the ground. Bring the right gear.

__$250 AK-47 Rfrb [99 in stock] Assault rifle. Battle proven, works well in harsh environments.
__$400 M-41A New [16 in stock] Pulse Rifle. Effective against xenomorphs. Integrated 30mm grenade launcher.
__$400 M-41A Rfrb [9 in stock] Pulse Rifle. Effective against xenomorphs. Integrated 30mm grenade launcher.
__$430 M-48 New [142 in stock] Laser Rifle. Long range, effective against light armor. Good antiaircraft insurance.
__$590 M-90 New [50 in stock] Railgun. 2 foot concrete penetration, effective against body armor.
__$750 M-90B New [24 in stock] Railgun. Same as M90, but has SM-4 optional nightvision targetting scope preinstalled.
__$180 SM-4 New [10 in stock] Replacement nightvision targetting scope for M90 / M90-B

Ground Vehicles
Flying overhead is good. Owning the real estate is better.

‡_$240,000 M1A1 Abrams Tank Rfrb [600 in stock] Surplus, replaced by M1A2.
__$1,000 Depleted U23x Shell New [10,000 in stock] Depleted Uranium Shell. Best penetration power.

Terms And Conditions
All sales final. Returns are impossible because of our changing address. Products not insured against black helicopters or government repossesion men who don't exist either. Aliens encountered in nearby systems my not understand English on the first try, don't trust how it works in the movies. Ammo clips run out when the bullets do, not when the scene ends, so be sure to buy more. You can't have too much money, too many separately-scheduled dates, or too much ammo.

† Truck ship item.
‡ Train ship item.
§ Delivery not available, must pick up in person.

We accept Visa, MasterCard, AMEX, or US currency (non-sequential). Sorry, no checks, PayPal, or COD.

[reader50]

I like nailing spammers. It's fun, and good for the soul. But the spam itself is kind of ... blah. I mean, who cares about what they are selling? Phones are boring. The other stuff can be found on sale at Wal-Mart. The scams are illegal, but the products are just normal junk. Misspelled.

No one in their right mind is even interested in this stuff. They're going to a huge effort to put lame products in front of our eyes, in the hope that some internet newbie will try to buy it. Gotta reach the newbies before the Nigerians tap them dry.

Now, if spammers would just learn, they could at least make it interesting. An advertisement that real people might go for, just because the products are so compelling. Instead of selling roadside dirt, sell gold-plated lead bars. Offer us counterfeit that doesn't look like an ink-jet printout. Tell us that the new underground pheromone-based drug will make the boss give an immediate raise, not that it's 10% off when ordered with bifocals.

I have a dream. Spammers that have noticed it's the 21st Century, and upgrade their tactics to match. So I built a modern spam the way it should be done. Scam the people out of their money with stuff they want, not stuff they care less about. Hope you enjoy the ride, and remember, you get not one, but TWO boxes of ammo with every purchase!

[Dakar]

Originally Posted by reader50

$1,999 T-X Alternate behavioral program package. Very popular.

Someone has a sense of humor.

[turtle777]

I'll take two of everything. Do you accept Western Union ? Can you ship to Nigeria ?

-t

[brassplayersrock²]

reported for spamming... no...wait

funny and spot on post reader50

Alex

[TheoCryst]

Spectacular. Nicely done! *applauds*

Originally Posted by "what_the_heck

Can you ship to Nigeria ?

[Buckaroo]

I remember when I occasionally received strange spam i.e.:

Hello,

I'm a time traveler stuck here in 2003. Upon arriving here my dimensional warp generator stopped working. I trusted a company here by the name of LLC Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 4350A watch unit, and they fled on me. I am going to need a new DWG unit, prefereably the rechargeable AMD wrist watch model with the GRC79 induction motor, four I80200 warp stabilizers, 512GB of SRAM and the menu driven GUI with front panel XID display.

I will take whatever model you have in stock, as long as its received certification for being safe on carbon based life forms.

In terms of payment: I dont have any Galactic Credits left. Payment can be made in platinum gold or 2003 currency upon safe delivery of unit.

Please transport unit in either a brown paper bag or box to below coordinates on Monday July 28th at (exactly 3:00pm) Eastern Standard Time on the dot. A few minutes prior will be ok, but it cannot be after. If you miss this timeframe please email me.

Latitude N 42.48018 & Longitude W 071.15503 and the Elevation is 96. WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TRANSPORT ITEM BY REGULAR MEANS OF TELEPORTATION. THEY ARE MONITORING AND WILL REDIRECT THE SIGNAL!! I DO NOT CARE HOW YOU HAVE TO GET IT HERE, JUST DO IT IN A WAY THAT NO SPYING EYES WILL POSSIBLY BE ABLE TO REDIRECT THE TRANSFERENCE. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU BE ABLE TO MONITOR THE TRANSFER.

Although those coordinates are a secure guarded area, these channels through email are never secure. Unfortunately it is the only form of communication I have right now.

After unit has been sent please email me at: info@federalfundingprogram.com with payment instructions. Do not reply directly back to this email.

Thank You

anticipationsltakt wivadwrdozu





or


Hello,
If you are a Time Traveler I am going to need the following:

1. A modified mind warping Dimensional Warp Generator # 52 4350a series wrist watch with memory adapter.

2. Reliable carbon based, or silicon based time transducing capacitor.

I need a reliable source!! Please only reply if you are reliable. Send a (SEPARATE) email to me at: hornty1@email.com

madmachadomadlebYfqVWL

Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted by
(alfred@juno.com) on Sunday, November 24, 2002 at 07:11:47
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

AeMQzkBgER29506: kUEaCAWwvNpB Ii

---------------------------------------------------------------------------


and



Hello,

I'm a time traveler stuck here in 2003. Upon arriving here my dimensional warp generator stopped working. I trusted a company here by the name of LLC Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 4350A watch unit, and they fled on me. I am going to need a new DWG unit, prefereably the rechargeable AMD wrist watch model with the GRC79 induction motor, four I80200 warp stabilizers, 512GB of SRAM and the menu driven GUI with front panel XID display.

I will take whatever model you have in stock, as long as its received certification for being safe on carbon based life forms.

In terms of payment:
I dont have any Galactic Credits left. Payment can be made in platinum gold or 2003 currency upon safe delivery of unit.

Please transport unit in either a large brown paper bag or box to below coordinates on Monday July 28th at (exactly 3:00pm) Eastern Standard Time on the dot. A few minutes prior will be ok, but it cannot be after. If you miss this timeframe please email me.

Twenty-three inches in from the outside edge of the corner at the South West
Corner of Cummings Ave. & Village Street in Woburn, Mass. is at Latitude
42.4845467 & Longitude -71.1576157 and the ground is 101.3' above sea level.
WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TRANSPORT ITEM BY REGULAR MEANS OF TELEPORTATION. THEY ARE MONITORING AND WILL REDIRECT THE SIGNAL!!
(NOBODY HAS BEEN ABLE TO TRANSPORT ANYTHING SO FAR WITHOUT THE TRANSFER BEING DEFLECTED). I DO NOT CARE HOW YOU HAVE TO GET IT HERE, JUST DO IT IN A WAY THAT NO SPYING EYES WILL POSSIBLY BE ABLE TO REDIRECT THE TRANSFERENCE. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU BE ABLE TO MONITOR THE TRANSFER.

Although those coordinates are a secure guarded area, these channels through email are never secure. Unfortunately it is the only form of communication I have right now.

After unit has been sent please email me at: info@federalfundingprogram.com
with payment instructions. Do not reply directly back to this email.

Thank You


leadership
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yhshxxkx

[turtle777]

^^^ I think that is legit. Do it !

-t