[Spliffdaddy]

My vehicle registrations are handwritten.

I have to read my own power meter and note it on each month's electric bill.

My mailman hand-delivers my mail when he sees me in town.

The local bank tellers cash my checks without looking at my balance.

The librarian orders books that she thinks I'd like. Then calls me and tells me about them.

At McDonalds, all the employees greet me by name at the drive-thru menu board - and they know I like 8 packs of sugar with my large coffee.

The Citgo station custom-orders my cigarettes from their vendor, because they aren't a normal stock item.

I got pulled over by the local police officer because he wanted to borrow my pneumatic roofing nailer.

Nobody could go to church last Sunday because I borrowed my mother's car and the church key was on the keyring.

I was extended "credit" at the hardware store, when they didn't have change for my 20 dollar bill.


All true.

So a few weeks ago I hired a guy to do some backhoe work. I remembered that his father was an old friend of my father's - so I asked how he was doing....

"Reckon he's doin' just fine. He was laid up for a couple months. Broke his neck. Again. They got him wearing one of those steel halo things, but if you need some bulldozer work done - give him a call, he's still working."

[C.A.T.S. CEO]

I wish i lived in your town

[alligator]

Wow. That's a good life.

[KeriVit]

I don't know how anyone can compete with that.

Spliff, may I ask what you do for a living in that small town?

Now, I do my like my RV park. Lemme think on how small my community is.

[Spliffdaddy]

I build houses for a living.

Only lived here about 2 years or so. My parents live here, and I didn't have anywhere better to go after I retired from my job.

Strangely, the town hasn't changed a bit since like 1920. It's right beside I-65, and about 10 years ago the state created an exit from the interstate. Nobody knew what to name the exit - and to this day all maps refer to it by number only - with a note saying 'unnamed road'. In reality, it connects directly to hwy 101 - via 'Main St'. The interstate exit created the demand for a McDonalds, Wendy's, and a Citgo truck stop. Thank God.

I hate living here. Ain't my style. It's a dry county (no alcohol) and it's surrounded by dry counties. Everybody knows me, so there's no privacy.

Someday I plan to move to mid-town Manhattan where life is more normal.

[C.A.T.S. CEO]

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy

I build houses for a living.

Only lived here about 2 years or so. My parents live here, and I didn't have anywhere better to go after I retired from my job.

Strangely, the town hasn't changed a bit since like 1920. It's right beside I-65, and about 10 years ago the state created an exit from the interstate. Nobody knew what to name the exit - and to this day all maps refer to it by number only - with a note saying 'unnamed road'. In reality, it connects directly to hwy 101 - via 'Main St'. The interstate exit created the demand for a McDonalds, Wendy's, and a Citgo truck stop. Thank God.

I hate living here. Ain't my style. It's a dry county (no alcohol) and it's surrounded by dry counties. Everybody knows me, so there's no privacy.

Someday I plan to move to mid-town Manhattan where life is more normal.

Where do you live?

[KeriVit]

Poor Spliff, I feel your angst. As "quaint" as it is living in my motorhome while the house was up for sale, it ain't real. Not what I'm used to.

Around here, it is nice to a certain extent. People know your name, they accept me, they visit and talk, they help when necessary.

However, like any place- rub 'em the wrong way or live beyond their realm, you are screwed.

How can you build houses in Manhattan? Maybe you should build your small town into a BIG city!!!

[Spliffdaddy]

southcentral kentucky

just north of bowling green

[C.A.T.S. CEO]

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy

southcentral kentucky

just north of bowling green

Hows the chicken?

[Hash]

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy

I build houses for a living.

Only lived here about 2 years or so. My parents live here, and I didn't have anywhere better to go after I retired from my job.

Strangely, the town hasn't changed a bit since like 1920. It's right beside I-65, and about 10 years ago the state created an exit from the interstate. Nobody knew what to name the exit - and to this day all maps refer to it by number only - with a note saying 'unnamed road'. In reality, it connects directly to hwy 101 - via 'Main St'. The interstate exit created the demand for a McDonalds, Wendy's, and a Citgo truck stop. Thank God.

I hate living here. Ain't my style. It's a dry county (no alcohol) and it's surrounded by dry counties. Everybody knows me, so there's no privacy.

Someday I plan to move to mid-town Manhattan where life is more normal.

Spliff, do you want to live in an exotic faraway country, where you no one will know you, you will have a lot of construction business, lots of hot chicks, good parties and good drinking?

[RAILhead]

Preach it, brother!

[Spliffdaddy]

Originally Posted by Hash

Spliff, do you want to live in an exotic faraway country, where you no one will know you, you will have a lot of construction business, lots of hot chicks, good parties and good drinking?

um, sure. But I can't afford to build in pricey areas.


I escape as often as I can. Usually I just book a cruise. Leaving next month for yet another 'western caribbean' itinerary. Instead of Royal Caribbean, I'm moving up to Holland America. I like Jamaica. They just throw ganja at you as soon as you step off the ship. I normally don't even leave the ship when it docks in Mexico. Been there done that and it's generally a depressing place.

This winter I'm escaping to Europe. The key is to fly into Amstersdam, rent a car, load up on weed, and go look at castles and stuff. Beer in Munich, weinerschnitzel, and the Rhine valley thing. Flip off locals in Belgium and France - as they sneer at my Levi's and Nike's. Return the rental car with an extra 4000km, no gas, and the floorboards full of frites.

I lead a double life.

[Eug]

At McDonalds, all the employees greet me by name at the drive-thru menu board - and they know I like 8 packs of sugar with my large coffee

Holy crap. I like 0 packs of sugar with my coffee.

Anyways, I grew up in a relatively small city (but not anywhere near as small as your nice town). I miss the neighbourliness, but then again I like being able to go grocery or light fixture shopping at 2 am, or running out at any time for authentic Chinese food.

OTOH, I still keep my main bank account in my home town, thousands of km of way. The people there are just so helpful. I'd call them with a request, and it'd be done stat. I even was doing some stuff via email. No bank here would accept any sort of banking request via email.

[KeriVit]

I heard they made the hash bars illegal to tourists.

[Spliffdaddy]

Originally Posted by KeriVit

I heard they made the hash bars illegal to tourists.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

is nothing sacred in this world?


you better be kidding.

[KeriVit]

Just saying, my friend was there a month ago... lemme research.

[Spliffdaddy]

How would they know if you're a tourist, anyway?

I mean, I could ride a bicycle to the (ahem) coffee shop - and wear some cheap-ass no-name plaid pants, a t-shirt and plain white shoes with one of those goofy looking backpacks and walk up to the counter to ask for the weed binders.

damn. I can't sprechen zie language.

[Spliffdaddy]

So how do you ask to see the sample weed binders in the native language of Holland?

I should start practicing now.

Call me a dumb American, but other than Belgium, France and Germany I have no clue what the other European languages are.

[KeriVit]

Ok, best as she can tell me now... it is not just sitting there available on the coffee shop table any longer, you must order from the menu. You may be carded. Meaning asked for your passport or the like I guess. So, sounds like things are still good, but a little more regulated.

[Hash]

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy

um, sure. But I can't afford to build in pricey areas.


I escape as often as I can. Usually I just book a cruise. Leaving next month for yet another 'western caribbean' itinerary. Instead of Royal Caribbean, I'm moving up to Holland America. I like Jamaica. They just throw ganja at you as soon as you step off the ship. I normally don't even leave the ship when it docks in Mexico. Been there done that and it's generally a depressing place.

This winter I'm escaping to Europe. The key is to fly into Amstersdam, rent a car, load up on weed, and go look at castles and stuff. Beer in Munich, weinerschnitzel, and the Rhine valley thing. Flip off locals in Belgium and France - as they sneer at my Levi's and Nike's. Return the rental car with an extra 4000km, no gas, and the floorboards full of frites.

I lead a double life.

Not pricey at all, much much lower cost of living than in US, nothing like Mexico, but hectic business development as in Hong Kong, but of course, not yet that developed, construction boom, and great night bars..

[skalie]

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy

Call me a dumb American, but other than Belgium, France and Germany I have no clue what the other European languages are.

Well I guess the native language of Holland would be Dutch, but if you wanted to be polite you would say that the native language of the Netherlands was Netherlands.

Belgium on the other hand doesn't have a "Belgisch" language, half of it speaks French and the other half speak Flemish, which is Netherlands in principle, but sounds more like Welsh from a distance.

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy

So how do you ask to see the sample weed binders in the native language of Holland?

Enter coffee shop: "Mag ik de menu zien, astublieft?"

Pronounced as written, astublieft ( translates to "if you would old chap" ) is pronounced like a sneeze.

[skalie]

Originally Posted by KeriVit

I heard they made the hash bars illegal to tourists.

[anecdote]
An aquaintance of mine ran a bar in Holland, sold some hash to some Germans.

Went to Germany and got locked up for two days for it.

He's now not allowed to enter the US because he has a drug conviction.

When he was actually abiding by the laws of the land at the time.

Well not actually, as he was selling alcohol on the premises, it's either soft drugs or alcohol, that's why they are "coffee shops".
[/anecdote]

[skalie]

..... and btw, don't bother learning any Dutch, everyone speaks English and if you learn something you only have to travel ten or so miles and you won't be understood, it's a land of dialects.

[turtle777]

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy

Someday I plan to move to mid-town Manhattan where life is more normal.

Can't beat the irony in that statement.

-t

[turtle777]

Originally Posted by skalie

[anecdote]
An aquaintance of mine ran a bar in Holland, sold some hash to some Germans.

Went to Germany and got locked up for two days for it.
[/anecdote]

Why ?
Because he ran a coffee shop in Holland ?

There's gotta be more to the story that that. German courts can't easily convict other nationals that didn't do ANYTHING wrong inside of Germany.

-t

[BlueSky]

EIGHT ****ing packs of sugar? Why don't you just skip the coffee and grab a can of chocolate frosting for breakfast?

[yakkiebah]

Originally Posted by skalie

Enter coffee shop: "Mag ik de menu zien, astublieft?"

Pronounced as written, astublieft ( translates to "if you would old chap" ) is pronounced like a sneeze.

That should be "Mag ik het menu zien, alstublieft". And "alstublieft" literally means "please" these days. Anyway, stick with English. There is no way in hell you get the chance to learn english. We won't let you. This can come off as very annoying habit to some english speaking foreigners but no matter how hard you try to learn dutch we keep speaking english to you.
At one of my previous jobs there was this australian art director who really did his best to learn dutch but anytime he was around, even in meetings were he was the only foreigner, everybody starts speaking in english. This was extremely frustrating for him. So forget it, it's futile.

Spliff, if you're interested just let me know when you're here and we can have a beer or whatever. We could even hug some tree's in the Vondelpark. And BTW, i don't think it would be very wise to drive around in Europe with a shitload of weed.

[hsarcxaw]

Spliffdaddy - How much do a pack of smokes cost in your town?

[rickey939]

Spliffdaddy, at least your small town has the IntarWeb®...what would you do without that?

[Powerbook]

Originally Posted by skalie

[anecdote]
An aquaintance of mine ran a bar in Holland, sold some hash to some Germans.

Went to Germany and got locked up for two days for it.

[/anecdote]

That's bull. German police/courts don't care what you do in foreign countries as long as you follow the laws there. Weed is legal in the Netherlands, so nothing to see here. What he probably did was having weed in the car when crossing the border to Germany, that could go wrong of course.

PB.

[Powerbook]

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy

This winter I'm escaping to Europe. The key is to fly into Amstersdam, rent a car, load up on weed, and go look at castles and stuff. Beer in Munich, weinerschnitzel, and the Rhine valley thing.

That's "Wiener Schnitzel". Because of the Austrian town, Wien.

PB.

[skalie]

Originally Posted by Powerbook

That's bull. German police/courts don't care what you do in foreign countries as long as you follow the laws there. Weed is legal in the Netherlands, so nothing to see here. What he probably did was having weed in the car when crossing the border to Germany, that could go wrong of course.

PB.

Could be bull, secondhand story, although I know the chap involved and believe the people that told me the tale......

...... at the end of the day the consensus was that it was illegal to sell Germans drugs, even if the Germans weren't in Germany.

Prove me wrong by all means.

[CleoW]

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy

Someday I plan to move to mid-town Manhattan where life is more normal.

Are you joking? My radar is not to good on these things.

Anyways, living here is overrated. The close proximity to all sorts of retail stores, museums, and theatres is nice, but the rest of it is ****. Not that there is a crime problem (we are the safest among American big cities now), it's just that it's a typical big city. Its noisy, it never gets dark and I'm tired of living so close to so many people. You can't find parking south of 96th, so you are forced to ride that horrible subway during the weekdays. I've been riding it all my life and still won't hold a pole without a tissue. There are bums everywhere, the list goes on and on.

I would have loved to grow up with the small town experience you described.

Besides, if you have limited funds, living in Manhattan is not the best idea.

[Powerbook]

Originally Posted by skalie

Could be bull, secondhand story, although I know the chap involved and believe the people that told me the tale......

...... at the end of the day the consensus was that it was illegal to sell Germans drugs, even if the Germans weren't in Germany.

Prove me wrong by all means.

European jurisdiction doesn't work that way. There is no legal way in Germany to prosecute a Dutch for what he did legally on Dutch grounds. There could be dozens of reasons for the arrest, he was on the Europol radar for drug trafficking, he failed a drug wipe test, a search dog alarmed and he couldn't identify himself etc...

You could just check the reason in his german arrest protocol. The times where people are arrested here without reason are over...

PB.

[Spliffdaddy]

Originally Posted by hsarcxaw

Spliffdaddy - How much do a pack of smokes cost in your town?

$12.49 for a carton of off-brand smokes

About $20 for Marlboro

usually 1.79 - 2.49 per pack

Originally Posted by BlueSky

EIGHT ****ing packs of sugar? Why don't you just skip the coffee and grab a can of chocolate frosting for breakfast?

I can't hardly even taste 8 packs of sugar. Really, I'd like to have about 12 packs - but it's too embarrassing to ask for 12. Keep in mind it's a *large* coffee...about 20oz. When I lived in Tampa last winter I became addicted to Starbucks Peppermint Mocha. I think they have about 1200 calories. I was up to 3 a day before I left Tampa. That, along with an average of 4 long island iced teas every evening at "The Press Box" probably bumped my average daily calorie intake to around 7,000 - not including meals. I gained 20 pounds in 3 months.

Originally Posted by yakkiebah

(snip)
Spliff, if you're interested just let me know when you're here and we can have a beer or whatever. We could even hug some tree's in the Vondelpark. And BTW, i don't think it would be very wise to drive around in Europe with a shitload of weed.

I would be glad to hug a tree with you. After a few beers I'm less conservative.

No, it isn't wise to drive around with weed in the car - but I've done it quite a few times. I only carry enough for day-trips....not any more than I can eat real fast. The skunkweed I bought the last time I was in Amsterdam smelled so strongly that my suitcase *still* smells like weed.

Oh yeah...why do you guys mix tobacco with weed? And then roll it into a tulip-shaped cigarette? Everybody thought my joints were strange....because they were perfectly cylindrical and contained 100% weed. I mean, damn, I *know* what I'm doing.

I have a picture of me smoking a joint in the throne room inside Neuschwanstein castle in Bavaria. That's a rare thing...since no pictures are allowed and almost no tours are given. Getting inside wasn't easy. I accidentally met a guy in Munich at Oktoberfest that had a key. An American GI. Long story, but he was allowed to give tours.

Originally Posted by Powerbook

That's "Wiener Schnitzel". Because of the Austrian town, Wien.

Never been there. Sounds like a cool place, though. The only time I traveled to Austria was to visit Dachau. What a buzzkill that was. I think it was in 1994. I rented a Acura NSX that year - which was a blast to drive. Actually, it was badged as a 'Honda' something. It was the only air-conditioned car they had at the rental company. Redlined at like 8200 rpm. I had got sideswiped in my rented Ford Mondeo the day before...somewhere around Brussels, where I was staying.



PS....where is the "Zugspitz"(sp?). I remember it's in one of those 'Alps' - but I forget exactly where. I was walking through some tall grass singing "The hills are alive with the sound of music". It was the perfect setting for it. I was so stoned it was all like a dream.

[Oisín]

Anyway, stick with English. There is no way in hell you get the chance to learn english. We won't let you. This can come off as very annoying habit to some english speaking foreigners but no matter how hard you try to learn dutch we keep speaking english to you.

Actually, I managed to get plenty of people to speak Dutch to me, rather than English, just by speaking Dutch to them up front. Apparently, if I limit myself to two- or three-word sentences, my Dutch pronunciation is good enough to fool them into thinking I’m a non-foreigner.

Kind of gave the show away when I didn’t understand more than half of the reply I’d get in return, of course...

[Spliffdaddy]

Am I the only one that can't understand English in England?

I remember sitting in a restaurant and everybody was speaking some foreign language - which I had become accustomed to experiencing in Europe. Then it suddenly occurred to me that I was in London.

[turtle777]

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy

Never been there. Sounds like a cool place, though. The only time I traveled to Austria was to visit Dachau.

PS....where is the "Zugspitz"(sp?). .

Dude, you weren't in Austria, you were in Germany, close to Munich. I grew up not to far from Dachau. And the Zugspitze, Germany, too. It's Germany's highest mountain, about 2000 meters high.

-t

[Spliffdaddy]

Originally Posted by what_the_heck

Dude, you weren't in Austria, you were in Germany, close to Munich. I grew up not to far from Dachau. And the Zugspitze, Germany, too. It's Germany's highest mountain, about 2000 meters high.

-t

yeah, that was some good weed.

So I was in the German Alps? Is there such a thing?

Some folks do a lot of research when they travel. I just grab a map and the car keys and wing it.

I don't even plan where I'll be sleeping at night. Usually I'll luck across a 'guest house' or private residence that rents rooms.

I swear I've been to Austria...just don't remember where exactly. Seems like I stayed with a family that had two hot teenage daughters who made an awesome breakfast.

Ya know, I could save a lot of money just by smoking weed and hanging out at my house. Ain't like I'd remember where the hell I was, anyway.

[turtle777]

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy

Ya know, I could save a lot of money just by smoking weed and hanging out at my house. Ain't like I'd remember where the hell I was, anyway.

LOL, true.

But you'd get better beer in Germany

-t

[Buckaroo]

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy

My vehicle registrations are handwritten.

I have to read my own power meter and note it on each month's electric bill.

My mailman hand-delivers my mail when he sees me in town.

The local bank tellers cash my checks without looking at my balance.

The librarian orders books that she thinks I'd like. Then calls me and tells me about them.

At McDonalds, all the employees greet me by name at the drive-thru menu board - and they know I like 8 packs of sugar with my large coffee.

The Citgo station custom-orders my cigarettes from their vendor, because they aren't a normal stock item.

I got pulled over by the local police officer because he wanted to borrow my pneumatic roofing nailer.

Nobody could go to church last Sunday because I borrowed my mother's car and the church key was on the keyring.

I was extended "credit" at the hardware store, when they didn't have change for my 20 dollar bill.


All true.

So a few weeks ago I hired a guy to do some backhoe work. I remembered that his father was an old friend of my father's - so I asked how he was doing....

"Reckon he's doin' just fine. He was laid up for a couple months. Broke his neck. Again. They got him wearing one of those steel halo things, but if you need some bulldozer work done - give him a call, he's still working."

You have a McDonalds and a gas station in your town. Damn, that's a metropolis. The nearest McDonalds to my hometown is across the state line and I have to go through another town to get there. You one of those big city folk.

[Andy8]

At McDonalds, all the employees greet me by name at the drive-thru menu board - and they know I like 8 packs of sugar with my large coffee.

I thought McDonalds have a minimum population size to open a restaurant in a town, unless of course it is opened beside a highway restpoint/gas station?

[turtle777]

Originally Posted by Andy8

I thought McDonalds have a minimum population size to open a restaurant in a town, unless of course it is opened beside a highway restpoint/gas station?

Re-read the thread, he explained it.

-t

[Gossamer]

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy

My vehicle registrations are handwritten.

Those aren't handled by your county? Or is that small too?

[Spliffdaddy]

Originally Posted by Gossamer

Those aren't handled by your county? Or is that small too?

Yeah. the county is small. I think Kentucky has at least 50 counties. (edited: there are 120 counties)

The state government is archaic. They're a 'commonwealth' - I've never bothered to look up the definition, but we have 'magistrates', 'constables', and other strange positions. During election time, about half the residents run for elected office.

Most courthouse records (criminal & land deeds) are maintained in big books. They have 2 deed books...one for years 1892-1965 and the other from 1966-current.

They actually have a PC and printer/laminator at the drivers license office.


Kentucky factoid: we have more miles of shoreline than Florida.

[Gossamer]

But is it good shoreline?

Originally Posted by wikipedia

Kentucky has more navigatable shoreline than any other state in the union, other than Alaska. This is thanks to Kentucky's intricate system of lakes and rivers, as well as being home to Kentucky Lake, Lake Barkley, and Lake Cumberland, all of which rank in the top 20 in size area of U.S. lakes.

[turtle777]

Originally Posted by Gossamer

But is it good shoreline?

prime realestate ? Don't think so.

-t

[Andy8]

Ah yes, I missed the detail Spliffdaddy wrote

The interstate exit created the demand for a McDonalds, Wendy's, and a Citgo truck stop.

ごめなさい

[analogika]

Originally Posted by skalie

Could be bull, secondhand story, although I know the chap involved and believe the people that told me the tale......

...... at the end of the day the consensus was that it was illegal to sell Germans drugs, even if the Germans weren't in Germany.

Nope. This isn't Singapore.

I'm willing to bet he was caught at the border, importing some, and got off light.

[analogika]

Originally Posted by Andy8

ごめなさい

"ごめんなさい"　でしょう。