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brassplayersrock² · Oct 3, 2006, 12:43 PM

hey guys,
as some of you know, i'm in a college, and college life as a guy, I need my damn privacy sometimes. Problem is, my roommate NEVER leaves the room except for class and to eat. he is always sitting behind his computer blogging. i have talked to him about it and he gave me a very bad attitude trip about how he likes the room and he doesnt like being outside of it yadda yadda. anyways, any advice on how to get him out for atleast a few hours a day? he said he's here at school to make contacts, but how is he when he is always in the room? anyways, he is doing the stupid silent treatment on me because it's a rule here not to practice in the room, and i come in one day and he's in here blasting his bass playing and the tv was on super high so that he could hear it over his playing with one of my dvds on. so i take the dvd out and lock my dvds in the closet and reminded him not to practice in the room (this, as i said before, is a big nono in the dorms here, and because there are practice rooms on each floor) he starts yelling and cussing at me, i explain to him again that i have asked him to use the practice rooms to play (that's what they're for) i leave (this was on saturday night) ever since (and even before this), all he is doing is sitting infront of his computer with headphones on whenever he doesnt have class, he NEVER leaves.
atleast it's quiet now.

anyways, that got a little long winded. any advice or help.

*sidenote: i'm planning on moving into a single room next semester if everything goes as planned (this is my 7th semester in the dorms, and my folks agreed that it's a good time to get a single, extra money on the housing bill, get a job, pay them back yadda yadda)

Alex

Chuckit · Oct 3, 2006, 12:45 PM

No offense, but if he wants to be a shut-in, I'd say that's his business. It's not really good for him, though. If he has any friends, maybe try to get them to invite him out to stuff. Otherwise try and introduce him to some new friends so he actually gets a life.

lpkmckenna · Oct 3, 2006, 12:47 PM

Start masturbating in his presence. He'll leave. (If not, you'll now have two problems.)

brassplayersrock² · Oct 3, 2006, 12:47 PM

yes, but the no privacy thing is annoying. i would like atleast some time to my self in here. i shouldn't have to leave the room for that

Alex

edit:
i was wondering if you were still around lpk. heh, nah, i wont go that far, but if it comes down to it, i might try that...lol, not really

Chuckit · Oct 3, 2006, 12:49 PM

Have you tried just scheduling alone time with him? Like, "I'll give you your time at such-and-such a time and you go out and find something to do and such-and-such a time. Deal?"

Though I still think just trying to get him to be social would be the best remedy.

ort888 · Oct 3, 2006, 12:52 PM

Fart a lot.

brassplayersrock² · Oct 3, 2006, 12:57 PM

something i forgot to mention: i have talked to his folks about this (they called my cell trying to tag team me for being, as there precious son called me, a bitch. i explained what has been going on, and they were like "so what? we didnt raise him not to speak to strangers for nothing!" and agreed with my roommate about being a bitch. i have been nothing but nice and curtious to this guy, and yet, he tries to walk over me, and when i take a stand he issues the silent treatment.

talked to him about being social here. his response: "i am social, i go down to the cafe and eat, then come back" "do you talk to people?" "no, i eat in the rear of the cafe" "oh"

mindwaves · Oct 3, 2006, 01:01 PM

My apartmentmate is the same thing. He NEVER leaves his room except to use the restroom, shower, and eat his microwaved meals. He eats tv dinners at least 3 times a day, drinks soda like crazy and drinks in his room all by himself. He has never had a visitor. He only does his grocery shopping at the Albertsons right across the street and NO WHERE else.

But on a good note, we live in separate rooms and he never talks to me and I do the same.

Mithras · Oct 3, 2006, 01:17 PM

I remember a chain email from when I was in college (~1995) that had lots of funny ideas for getting rid of a roommate. I'm sure it's been in circulation much longer than that.

Ah, yes, here it is:
101 Fun Things to Do to Freak Out Your College Roommate!

Rumor · Oct 3, 2006, 01:34 PM

Throw on some toothless gay midget porn and eat popcorn while watching it.

Or you can send him on a blind date.

Let him know that "meeting" people on myspace/facebook/whatever, doesn't count unless you actually meet them

reader50 · Oct 3, 2006, 01:58 PM

Sounds like you need a different roommate. He'll do great with another shut-in. They can steal sodas from each other.

goMac · Oct 3, 2006, 02:00 PM

My roommate was exactly like that (WoW was his addiction). He'd never leave, and even went as far to ask me all the time to bring him back dinner when I went out with friends to eat (so he didn't even leave for meals either).

Fraid a single was the only solution I came up with. Although if you're lucky maybe he'll just drop out.

Dakar · Oct 3, 2006, 02:04 PM

"Buy a Jack-In-The-Box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for twenty minutes."

If you can do that rain man style... oh man.

Dakar · Oct 3, 2006, 02:09 PM

Originally Posted by brassplayersrock

they were like "so what? we didnt raise him not to speak to strangers for nothing!"

This is the best hint you're going to get that nothings going to change and to find a new roommate.

lpkmckenna · Oct 3, 2006, 02:13 PM

Internet Addiction Test
Not My Kid

mitchell_pgh · Oct 3, 2006, 03:50 PM

IMHO, it's going to be awkward, but talk to him about it. Say that you would like an hour or two of locked in alone time in the room.

If he doesn't go for that, find a new roommate with a girlfriend in another state.

Peter · Oct 3, 2006, 03:59 PM

whats wrong with spending time in *HIS* room?
It's his life, and it really isn't hurting you... :/

Dakar · Oct 3, 2006, 04:00 PM

Originally Posted by Peter

whats wrong with spending time in *HIS* room?
It's his life, and it really isn't hurting you... :/

Where do you go for privacy if your room is always occupied?

brassplayersrock² · Oct 3, 2006, 04:07 PM

for more of a clear picture, this isn't an apartment like room with two seperate rooms and a common area. this is one big room with two beds/desk areas and a bathroom.

Rumor · Oct 3, 2006, 04:23 PM

You can lock yourself in the bathroom for privacy.

lpkmckenna · Oct 3, 2006, 04:35 PM

Better yet, don't leave the bathroom, even when he wants to use it.

HungrySeacow · Oct 3, 2006, 04:46 PM

Originally Posted by lpkmckenna

Start masturbating in his presence. He'll leave. (If not, you'll now have two problems.)

LOL, I second this one.

Railroader · Oct 3, 2006, 04:46 PM

My roommate and I arranged the closets (they were armoires basically) and dressers to create two very tiny rooms. I was 23 and he was 17. We had NOTHING in common. He got to hear me and my GF have sex a lot. I was woken up numerous times at 2 a.m. to his guitar "inspirational moments" often.

I became an RA and ended up getting a single in a different dorm.

I can offer you no other solutions other than to speak to the dorm director. They LOVED to get involved in this kind of thing when I was an RA because it made them feel needed.

itai195 · Oct 3, 2006, 04:54 PM

Eh, roommates suck

My roommate would hardly even leave to eat, he kept a pizza in his closet.

Goldfinger · Oct 3, 2006, 05:02 PM

Can't you just get a room without a roommate ?

Rumor · Oct 3, 2006, 05:06 PM

Bring home the ugliest woman you can find and proceed to show her your cigar collection.

kmkkid · Oct 3, 2006, 05:33 PM

Originally Posted by lpkmckenna

Start masturbating in his presence. He'll leave. (If not, you'll now have two problems.)

I would do this exactly.

If he joins in maybe he's more fun than you thought! (specially if he's cute)

Chuckit · Oct 3, 2006, 05:43 PM

Originally Posted by kmkkid

I would do this exactly.

If he joins in maybe he's more fun than you thought! (specially if he's cute)

Dude, listen to the description of this hermit. Do you really imagine he's cute?

Peter · Oct 3, 2006, 05:47 PM

Originally Posted by Dakar

Where do you go for privacy if your room is always occupied?

bathroom?
night time when he's sleeping?

itai195 · Oct 3, 2006, 05:50 PM

Originally Posted by Dakar

Where do you go for privacy if your room is always occupied?

Build a fort on top of your bed?

DeathToWindows · Oct 3, 2006, 05:51 PM

This is why you have RAs/RDs... talk to 'em.

If this was an issue at BU, the RD would be all over it like a ton of bricks.

Oneota · Oct 3, 2006, 06:06 PM

Dammit...someone beat me to the "wank it" suggestion.

Well, since you rejected that one out-of-hand (so to speak), I'll suggest something that might be a bit more doable:

Walk around naked. Like, when you get out of the shower, take your sweet time getting dressed. 10, maybe 20 minutes. First thing when you get in for the night, strip down, and stay that way until bedtime.

Be sure to sit on all his furniture without laying a towel down first.

kmkkid · Oct 3, 2006, 06:19 PM

Originally Posted by Chuckit

Dude, listen to the description of this hermit. Do you really imagine he's cute?

Just 'cause you're a homebody doesn't mean you can't be attractive. Though I'm sure he probably isn't in this case.

Rumor · Oct 3, 2006, 06:22 PM

Nekkid Yoga

Peter · Oct 3, 2006, 08:00 PM

Originally Posted by DeathToWindows

This is why you have RAs/RDs... talk to 'em.

If this was an issue at BU, the RD would be all over it like a ton of bricks.

what are they gonna say?

"please leave your room and be sociable... or else!"

TheMosco · Oct 3, 2006, 08:11 PM

You just have to face the fact that you have a roommate and you don't have any privacy. My roommate freshman year never left the room either. He had a girlfriend in that was in high school and he would talk to her from the end of class to 2 AM everyday. He would pull all nighters for no reason.

I didn't really care about privacy, he cared. He would freak out at me because he claimed he didn't have privacy to talk to her gf. One time I had someone in the room working on a project, and he freaked out at I my partner and I and stormed the room.

So what did I do? I went to the RA and he sat us down for a talk. Basically we compromised. He had set hours a day that I agreed to not be in the room if I didn't have to be and he was talking to his girlfriend but he couldn't talk in the room past a certain time. Worked for me and I made a lot of great friends hanging out in other people's rooms.

So to Recap: Go to the RA. Thats why they are there.

KeriVit · Oct 3, 2006, 08:21 PM

Can't your private time when he eats or goes to class?

When does he get private time?

If you wanted privacy, you shoulda got your own room. I've never know the dorms to be very private. You both live on the same room, not much you can do.

Now, if the situation is miserable, try to get out of it now. They have clauses for such.

brassplayersrock² · Oct 3, 2006, 08:57 PM

to kerivits post:
the longest he has been down in the cafe to eat is 15 minutes, it is usually 10. he gets plenty of private time cause a) he's always in the room, and b) i have a commitments other then school, marching/pep bands at BU, study time with friends. so yes he gets PLENTY of private time.

"....shoulda got your own room...." i have NEVER had a roommate that never leaves, so this is new territory for me.

"....try and get out now" can't really, no one is planning on moving out of the other rooms,and all the other dorm spaces are full

Alex

side thought:
heh heh, .....out of hand

KeriVit · Oct 3, 2006, 09:04 PM

Hmmm.... okay then. 7 semesters makes you a senior, right? Or are you on a longer plan?

Why did you get a new roomate after 7 semesters?

Never mind.

OK, talking to him will do no good, he won't go away cuz he has nowhere to go. Even if you explain nicely, what is the loser gonna do? Sit outside?

Do you have wireless, does he have a laptop?

Maybe you could ask that he spend a couple hours in the lounge a couple of times a week?

Otherwise, you could look at living off campus. Does the band have a fraternity or the like?

besson3c · Oct 3, 2006, 10:24 PM

Poop in the kitchen. Problem solved.

Oneota · Oct 3, 2006, 10:32 PM

Originally Posted by brassplayersrock

side thought:
heh heh, .....out of hand

Glad you liked that

I was being somewhat serious, though: If you want this guy to leave, you're going to have to make his living environment untenable. This will probably involve doing something that will cause him to be very uncomfortable, and whatever you come up with will probably have a similar effect on you (you'll just have the eventual goal of getting him out of the room to get you through it).

JoshuaZ · Oct 3, 2006, 10:36 PM

Originally Posted by besson3c

Poop in the kitchen. Problem solved.

Dude, someone did that in my dorm kitchen in college. Someone from a different dorm. And then we all had to pay a massive `cleaning` bill at the end of the year.

I feel for you man, my room mate freshamn year of college was a complete jerk. But luckily he was away a lot. But then he moved out to drink it up in a different room, and the second guy I got was an even bigger jerk. Thats why I had single rooms from there on out.

Plus having a single worked well with the ladies.

Kevin · Oct 3, 2006, 10:45 PM

Start listening to bluegrass.

Cody Dawg · Oct 3, 2006, 11:21 PM

I couldn't stand that either.

I hate people being too near me and I even need a break from my own family members once in a while or I freak out.

I'd say that you should move.

There is BLISS in being 100% alone.

to being alone.

lowdaksport · Oct 3, 2006, 11:33 PM

Ive had a couple bad roomates in my day. They ended up being cool after a few months though and the problem was fixed. I hated sharing space with people though it is definatley not fun. Now I live in a house with some friends and i have my own room which makes it all good. And as I started to read I though Id suggest masterbating lol, but it seemed inappropriate. I'll say that now though after 4 others have brought it up. I think that is sure fire and will definatley mke him uncomfortable and leave.

brassplayersrock² · Oct 3, 2006, 11:38 PM

1) no kitchen to poop in

2) first roommate moved into apartment after a semester, second roommate, well, jackass to boot and flunked out, 3rd roommate graduated the year i moved in with him. 4/5th semester roommate was the best so far, but moved into an apartment. 6th semester was my summer semester and the guy got a single of his own in another dorm building. 7th semester is what is abouve

3) thanks to everyone for replying. even made me LOL a few times. i did a look around of the singles here with a couple of friends tonight, and if everything goes well, i have a couple of great choices. (it's nice that the rooms are all the same on each floor)
Alex