[Tiresias]

Once or twice a year, for no obvious reason, I suddenly get the cold sweats and think: "Holy crap! One day I'm going to die! Me! The day will come! It's inevitable! And there's nothing I can do to stop it! Oh my God!" and then, about 20 seconds later, it seems so unreal and far off that I just forget about it and continue going about my business.

I read a book called "The Denial of Death" a couple of years ago. The author, Ernest Becker, put forward the case that it is not sex (as Freud supposed) but "fear of death" that is the abiding obsession of man (whether man realises it or not); and it's this fear of death that separates him from the other animals; it's the cause of his best and worst qualities and capabilities; art; war; religion, and so on, and that basically human personalities are shaped by the various ways we try and suppress the dreadful knowledge of death which in most cases involves a denial of life too, since death and life are inseparable.

How often (if ever) do you get the death sweats?

[Chuckit]

To the question, "Do you think about death?": My answer is yes.

To the question, "Do you get the death sweats?": My answer is no.

Everything in this world will be gone one day. There's nothing we can do to stop it. The sooner we realize and accept this, the sooner we can stop getting depressed every time we notice another thing that is going to die someday. It's no reason to panic; it's just nature. Most importantly, the fact that something will end (a life, a relationship, the sun) doesn't detract from the value of that thing unless we let it.

[Kerrigan]

Sounds like a discussion topic for Oprah, no offense.

Anyways we all think about death, but it sounds to me like you are having anxiety attacks over it. I know the feeling, it is brought on by anything from fear to insufficient oxygen to the brain. If you keep having them, I would suggest seeing a therapist.

[Chuckit]

Oh yeah? Your face sounds like a discussion for Oprah.

[Kerrigan]

I will not have Oprah's good name bandied about this thread willy-nilly!

[RAILhead]

Only from the point of thinking about how it will suck when my parents are gone, and that if I die before my wife, we have no children to keep her company.

[Zeeb]

I have a suggestion which might cure your fear of death. Volunteer or visit a state nursing home.

I used to volunteer at a nursing home and advanced old age isn't pretty. I think that "killed" my fear of death. Just hope you die before you can't take care of yourself anymore and have to rely on people who don't give a sh*& about you to eat and go to the bathroom.

[freudling]

I have had death sweats. I have literally willed myself to near death. I have woken up with my heart pounding and kept thinking I was going to die, or just the thought of getting older overwhelmed my system. We are very much like a computer. A friend of mine had a friend "short circuit", and he is now in a coma. He had a stroke as a result. It is quite interesting when a "Meltdown happens." The brain can't compute. Sometimes we see this not only with death, as may have been the case with the latter person, but with decision making when you can't make up your mind.

[rickey939]

No.

[Tiresias]

Originally Posted by rickey939 

No.

Oh, you will.

[KeriVit]

No.

[Kevin]

"After Forever" Black Sabbath

Have you ever thought about your soul - can it be saved?
Or perhaps you think that when youre dead you just stay in your grave
Is God just a thought within your head or is he a part of you?
Is christ just a name that you read in a book when you were in school?

When you think about death do you lose your breath or
Do you keep your cool?
Would you like to see the pope on the end of a rope
Do you think hes a fool?
Well I have seen the truth, yes Ive seen the light and Ive changed my ways
And Ill be prepared when youre lonely and scared at the end of our days

Could it be youre afraid of what your friends might say
If they knew you believe in God above?
They should realize before they criticize
That God is the only way to love

Is your mind so small that you have to fall
In with the pack wherever they run
Will you still sneer when death is near
And say they may as well worship the sun?

I think it was true it was people like you that crucified christ
I think it is sad the opinion you had was the only one voiced
Will you be so sure when your day is near, say you dont believe?
You had the chance but you turned it down, now you cant retrieve

Perhaps youll think before you say that God is dead and gone
Open your eyes, just realize that hes the one
The only one who can save you now from all this sin and hate
Or will you still jeer at all you hear? yes! I think its too late.

[voodoo]

There is nothing more natural to life than death. It is a comforting feeling that one day I will day. That is how we living beings are wired. We have to die.

Don't worry about it.

V

[Tiresias]

Some people who don't think about death simply find it too difficult or abstract to conceptualise. The terrible spectre of death has to be understood by means of some simple example from everyday life.

To picture/imagine death, I postulate some hypothetical event that will occur the day after I die. Let's say a phone call from someone who doesn't know I am dead. Although on the day before it might be possible to say: "The phone will ring tomorrow", the distance in time between myself and that event is infinite.

For me, it's a sure-fire way to get the death sweats.

[freudling]

Tiresias:

You nailed it for me: linking space and time. I think of the days after I die. That is the thing, you are gone. You think of all the schooling, your personal stuff, your friends, family. No more. It is strange. Life is geneally very weird.

I like what Marlon Brando said about living a long life and then waking up one day and saying, "What was that all about??"

[Zeeb]

Originally Posted by Tiresias 

Some people who don't think about death simply find it too difficult or abstract to conceptualise. The terrible spectre of death has to be understood by means of some simple example from everyday life.

To picture/imagine death, I postulate some hypothetical event that will occur the day after I die. Let's say a phone call from someone who doesn't know I am dead. Although on the day before it might be possible to say: "The phone will ring tomorrow", the distance in time between myself and that event is infinite.

For me, it's a sure-fire way to get the death sweats.

Why do you think death is terrible? You can't suffer if you aren't conscious.

[rickey939]

Originally Posted by Tiresias 

Oh, you will.

No.

[Atheist]

Death is an extension of life.

[dcmacdaddy]

I have had a few moments, in the dark, slinet hours of early morning. And a wave of fear creeps over me and I get really scared. Having said that, it will pass and you will go on living . . . until you die.

While it can be scary it is a normal part of life. In Western cultures, I think America in particular, the obsession with youth makes people less accepting of old age and death. My biggest fear, if you can call it that, is the fear of being in a hopeless situation where I know I am going to die and can't do anything about it. But that's the thing, it is not a fear of death but a fear of being vulnerable; I think that is a pretty normal experience when one contemplates their own death.

Having said all that, I have no real fear of death. My mother's family is the local undertaker in the town where she grew up--for three generations now--so I spent what is probably an unusual amount of time for a kid around funeral homes. I never did anything more than hold doors open for visitors and occassionally move a casket but I saw lots of bodies in caskets in the various viewing rooms and the serene, peaceful looks on them was always reassuring.

[JoshuaZ]

My philosophy on life is that I might die at any moment. The tragedy, I've always said, is that I didn't.

[Spliffdaddy]

I see death around the corner...

It fears me.

[driven]

I am going to live forever.

(Or I'll die trying)

[mitchell_pgh]

I fear seeing my friends and family die around me... more than death.

[screamingFit]

Originally Posted by mitchell_pgh 

I fear seeing my friends and family die around me... more than death.

That's for sure.

And, for thinking about my own demise? Yup, every day. Every day I reflect on what a waste the past 24 hours have been and why I'm not taking advantage of the supreme gift of life I have been given.

[Kr0nos]

"If you're frightened of dying, and you're holding on, then you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth." ~ Jacob's Ladder

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy 

I see death around the corner...

It fears me.

You have worse breath.

[ghporter]

A friend of mine lost her elderly mother over the weekend. While they weren't terribly close, she felt a real connection with her mother, and I'm afraid she'll be lost for quite some time because of this.

My friend lost her father several years ago, so she's now technically an orphan. What's it like becoming an orphan as an adult with children of your own? I think it's an odd thing for anyone.

So yes, I think about death now and then.

Mostly though, I just realize that I'm not immortal and so I take some care in what I do, how I drive, etc.

[zerroeffect]

I lost three family members in May (Memorial Day weekend), Tamera (26), Shawn (26), and Jill (4). They were killed by a reckless driver. Me and my girlfriend had just seen them a few weeks before when Jill turned 4. They were going for ice cream at the time and were literally right around the corner from their home. Tamera's mom and sister have been so depressed over the losses that they have both thought heavily about suicide.

We actually drove down to Springfield (abut an hour and a half from us, where the accident happened) that night, not knowing if any of them were still alive. My girlfriend got the call that Tamera had passed halfway down. We sat with her body for hours when we got to the ER. Jill was life-flighted to Portland and pronounced later. Shawn held on until the next morning. His parents had just moved out of state and had to fly in. I don't remember if they got to see him.

My Mom goes in for brain surgery December 4th and has a real chance of something going wrong. She had a stroke years ago when she went under the knife. She's very fragile.

My Dad has had three heart attacks and looks older and older every time I see him.

So yes, I think about death a lot lately. I wish I couldn't, but it's been so pervasive. I keep thinking if I drive better or eat healthier that I can live a longer life, but I've learned from all the above that when it's your time, you can't do anything about it. Tamera didn't do anything wrong - she couldn't avoid the giant car flipped over in front of her at 50 mph and my Mom didn't do anything to get brain tumors. My Dad has weak arteries.

I worry the most about those I love dying. I worry that they will not know what I think of them and that I haven't said/done all I wanted for/with them.

I just really hope when I go that I will feel good about what I have done in life and will leave behind people who are better for having me in their lives and not burdened by my demise.

[Stradlater]

Originally Posted by freudling 

Tiresias:

You nailed it for me: linking space and time. I think of the days after I die. That is the thing, you are gone.

"The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness. Although the two are identical twins, man, as a rule, views the prenatal abyss with more calm than the one he is heading for (at some forty-five hundred heartbeats an hour). I know, however, of a young chronophobiac who experienced something like panic when looking for the first time at homemade movies that had been taken a few weeks before his birth. He saw a world that was practically unchanged—the same house, the same people—and then realized that he did not exist there at all and that nobody mourned his absense. He caught a glimpse of his mother moving from an upstairs window and that unfamiliar gesture disturbed him, as if it were some mysterious farewell. But what particularly frightened him was the sight of a brand-new baby carriage standing there on the porch, with the smug, encroaching air of a coffin; even that was empty, as if, in the reverse course of events, his very bones had disintegrated."

So then, what about the days before you were born? That's the thing, you were gone.

[ort888]

I spend a lot of time thinking about it. I'm not exactly terrified by death, but I spend a lot of time thinking about mortality, the randomness and chaos of life, what happiness is, what our purpose is, the futility and cruelty of the world, etc...

It's almost impossible for me to express my thoughts into words though, so I don't even try. It's just something for me to work over in my head. But I don't think I'm obsessed or weird about it. Just aware.

[Zeeb]

Originally Posted by Stradlater 

"The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness. Although the two are identical twins, man, as a rule, views the prenatal abyss with more calm than the one he is heading for (at some forty-five hundred heartbeats an hour). I know, however, of a young chronophobiac who experienced something like panic when looking for the first time at homemade movies that had been taken a few weeks before his birth. He saw a world that was practically unchanged—the same house, the same people—and then realized that he did not exist there at all and that nobody mourned his absense. He caught a glimpse of his mother moving from an upstairs window and that unfamiliar gesture disturbed him, as if it were some mysterious farewell. But what particularly frightened him was the sight of a brand-new baby carriage standing there on the porch, with the smug, encroaching air of a coffin; even that was empty, as if, in the reverse course of events, his very bones had disintegrated."

So then, what about the days before you were born? That's the thing, you were gone.

That's very disturbing just to read. However, I detect a bit of egocentrism in it--as if the fear really isn't one of death, but the fact the world was here before and will be here after one dies.

There is no abyss for you to fall into nor did you come from an abyss. Did you remember anything before you were born? Do you remember suffering or floating around in a dark place?

[Stradlater]

Originally Posted by Zeeb 

There is no abyss for you to fall into nor did you come from an abyss. Did you remember anything before you were born? Do you remember suffering or floating around in a dark place?

The abyss is absense: a proclaimed void, nothingness. We remember nothing, egocentrically, before we were alive, and yet this lack of existence mirrors death, which many find, to the contrary, frightening. No one, at least I doubt it most highly, remembers suffering, floating around in a dark place (or placenta, even), a true, literal "abyss."

[tboparis]

I used to be obsessed with death some time ago. Then I thought that if I kept on worrying I would be wasting my life just being scared of death. I think that death is not so frightening if you think about it during the daytime. So try thinking about it during the day and you won't be so scared at night (worked for me).

[wolfen]

Originally Posted by JoshuaZ 

My philosophy on life is that I might die at any moment. The tragedy, I've always said, is that I didn't.

LOL. I wonder if anyone else caught the reference.

[memento]

I had not thought about it too much until my father died 2 years ago. We always had the best relationship that I can even imagine for a father and son. Since then, I've though a lot about it. I've also come to some realizations about religion (not for this thread). I've wondered what it would be like to be on the other side - to be the one dying. Wondering what happens. It has also increased my conviction that our legacy is important. There is nothing new to be gained from him. All that is left is his legacy. He lives on in me. My values, beliefs, and memories.

As to fear of death? I think Tiresias absolutely hit it with the discontinuity of time. freaky. Time is a never ending constant in our lives. Then it's suddenly either A) stopped/gone or B) no longer a factor, depending on what happens after you die.

Just because we might have a fear or an anxiety attack, doesn't mean that we should go running to a therapist. This is deep stuff.

My collection of cemetery photographs:
Cemetery photography - a photoset on Flickr

[kmkkid]

Of course I have thought about death. Everyone is going to die eventually, why get panic attacks over it?

[pman68]

Man, it's good to hear other people have had this. I thought I was the only one.

Not sure why. More deposed to anxiety I guess.

Reminds me of a Sienfeld episode with George. George was obsessed with death and the old man told him to "get a life."

[driven]

Let's say they eventually get this cryogenics stuff working whereas eventually you "undie". What are you in the intervening period? Dead? Suspended? What would the world be like when you came back? Would you be employable? :-)

[kmkkid]

Originally Posted by driven 

Let's say they eventually get this cryogenics stuff working whereas eventually you "undie". What are you in the intervening period? Dead? Suspended? What would the world be like when you came back? Would you be employable? :-)

Purgatory?

[Big Mac]

I think about death and the afterlife at times. According to Judaism, humans inherently have a "Fear of Heaven," so I think it's a normal thing to think about on occassion. I feared death more as a child than I do as an adult.

[Zeeb]

Originally Posted by driven 

Let's say they eventually get this cryogenics stuff working whereas eventually you "undie". What are you in the intervening period? Dead? Suspended? What would the world be like when you came back? Would you be employable? :-)

This was covered in the "Pet Cemetery" I think. If you come back from the dead you are possessed by the devil or a demon and want to kill everyone.

[Nicko]

Originally Posted by driven 

Let's say they eventually get this cryogenics stuff working whereas eventually you "undie". What are you in the intervening period? Dead? Suspended? What would the world be like when you came back? Would you be employable? :-)

But that the dread of something after death,—
The undiscover'd country, from whose bourn
No traveller returns,—puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know naught of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought;
And enterprises of great pitch and moment,
With this regard, their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action. (Hamlet, III.i)

-- That said, I think the whole death thing sucks. I plan to get cryogenically frozen and then unfrozen when the technology exists to upload my consciousness to the mainframe.

[kick52]

at 13 years old.... no.

[BlueSky]

Originally Posted by pman68 

Man, it's good to hear other people have had this. I thought I was the only one.

Not sure why. More deposed to anxiety I guess.

Reminds me of a Sienfeld episode with George. George was obsessed with death and the old man told him to "get a life."

There was a very brief period years ago when I'd wake in the AM and have the "cold sweats"... exactly what Tiresias is talking about. I found it disconcerting, but interesting. I did a quick comic strip of me waking in the middle of the night and screaming "OH MY GOD WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE I'M GONNA DIE WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN!?!?"...then immediately falling back into a peaceful sleep.

I don't know if it had anything to do with it, but the morning cold sweaties never came back, maybe it was therapeutic to illustrate it.

[bradoesch]

Originally Posted by pman68 

Man, it's good to hear other people have had this. I thought I was the only one.

Not sure why. More deposed to anxiety I guess.

Reminds me of a Sienfeld episode with George. George was obsessed with death and the old man told him to "get a life."

What that the episode where George was convinced he was having a heart attack? Where he went to the natural healer, Tor?

Anyway, occasionally I think about dying and just not existing. It's a strange feeling, where you're very concerned about creasing to exist in any form, but if you didn't, how could you really care? You care now, but once you're gone it's not like you'll sit there regretting your time here.

[puppetswhokill]

Originally Posted by RAILhead 

Only from the point of thinking about how it will suck when my parents are gone, and that if I die before my wife, we have no children to keep her company.

Adopt some Malawi babies.


As for death...I wonder when I walk out the door if I will ever walk back in. You always read about these freak accidents and such. When will the fickle finger of fate flick me in the noggin?

[driven]

Originally Posted by Zeeb 

This was covered in the "Pet Cemetery" I think. If you come back from the dead you are possessed by the devil or a demon and want to kill everyone.

I guess you would be employable by some army then. :-)

[©öñFü$íóÑ]

I don't fear -my- death.... i fear for everyone else that is close to me who will eventually go tho. I also don't fear death, but rather, i fear dying before i get a chance to make up for all the wrongs i've done (and completing them fully).

[Rev-O]

Originally Posted by mitchell_pgh 

I fear seeing my friends and family die around me... more than death.

It completely sucks. In a way it is comforting because you know your loved one didn't die alone. But mostly it just sucks because you get to see a loved one die. Oh, and you get to feel powerless as well.

[Tuoder]

On occasion, I used to fear death. I used to get a little panicky about it. That has stopped. For me, when the futility of fearing death really hit me and sank in, I stopped fearing it. What is the sense in being scared of something that is guaranteed to happen? The problem is that if you spend alot of time fearing death, you will not have much fun living. That is a fate worse than dying before you first began to fear death.