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Cody Dawg · Oct 25, 2006, 04:08 PM

So, do any of you have in laws that you would like to embrace into your home and be close to, but you just cannot because their life/lives are in a constant state of chaos or disaster? Because they don't do things the quote-unquote "right" way? Because when you do see them they hint about you lending them money?

My husband has a brother and he and his wife are always involved in some bad situation. Something is ALWAYS happening to them. They always - and I mean ALWAYS - have some sort of problem going on.

They never try to improve their lives, the wife (my husband's brother's second wife) is very passive aggressive and does stupid mindless things, and they are the type that are always involved with a custody fight over a children that they have (in their case that they BOTH have) with an ex.

Do you know the type of people I'm talking about?

And I have to grit my teeth and TRY to be nice when his wife emails me but I really want to tell her exactly what I think of the way that they live their lives, their arguments, their money issues, etc.

I just don't.

I just post here and

itai195 · Oct 25, 2006, 04:10 PM

My brother's mother-in-law is Satan.

My in-laws are great though. I love em.

My wife's cousin has a mother-in-law that sounds the same as those you're complaining about. They always have to bail her out financially. It's extra sad because they're not doing very well themselves, they made some [IMO stupid] decisions regarding education, marriage, and children.

MacNStein · Oct 25, 2006, 04:33 PM

Kim's parents are great, and we love each other to death, but her brother is a real POS. Always asking her for money to buy drugs and such, and he can get pretty aggressive when he doesn't get what he wants. Luckily, he's not called or been around much since I last talked to him. We had a great conversation on the porch while I cleaned my shotgun, it was very therapeutic.

Sarra's family is another matter, most of them disowned her long ago when she told them she was a gay. She's not spoken to them in many years.

Cody Dawg · Oct 25, 2006, 04:36 PM

MacNStein

We had a great conversation on the porch while I cleaned my shotgun, it was very therapeutic.

Atheist · Oct 25, 2006, 04:47 PM

Originally Posted by MacNStein

Kim's parents are great, and we love each other to death, but her brother is a real POS. Always asking her for money to buy drugs and such, and he can get pretty aggressive when he doesn't get what he wants. Luckily, he's not called or been around much since I last talked to him. We had a great conversation on the porch while I cleaned my shotgun, it was very therapeutic.

Sarra's family is another matter, most of them disowned her long ago when she told them she was a gay. She's not spoken to them in many years.

Am I supposed to know who Kim and Sarra are?

MacNStein · Oct 25, 2006, 04:48 PM

Originally Posted by Atheist

Am I supposed to know who Kim and Sarra are?

Most around here do. They're my partners.

Cody Dawg · Oct 25, 2006, 06:14 PM

I try to like my in laws, but the truth is that I don't even let them know where we live. They don't have our new address. They are just people who whine and complain about every injustice life has to offer them while they live in a dirty home and do nothing to better their situation in life. Plus, one of them is always complaining about how sick they are or what disease they have, etc. It's just a drag talking to them. And if you call them they'll be telling you about how bad their bronchitis or pneumonia is - while they're taking a drag on a cigarette.

Peter · Oct 25, 2006, 07:23 PM

Originally Posted by MacNStein

Most around here do. They're my partners.

you have two partners?

Railroader · Oct 25, 2006, 07:48 PM

My in-laws lifestyles are rock solid. No Changes. I say what's new and there's literally nearly nothing new. "That said.." I can't stand them. One of us would kill the other one.

OFF TOPIC: Good to see you around here more MacNStein. You've been missed.

Dork. · Oct 25, 2006, 07:51 PM

Originally Posted by Peter

you have two partners?

Heh. I remember that thread.

http://forums.macnn.com/85/macnn-lou...-end-up-going/

Back on topic, my in-laws are great, but they run their own business and so are busy most of the time.

Brass · Oct 25, 2006, 08:38 PM

Did you know that "Mother in law" is an anagram of "Woman Hitler"?

Cody Dawg · Oct 25, 2006, 08:54 PM

That's funny!

finboy · Oct 25, 2006, 11:30 PM

Originally Posted by Peter

you have two partners?

Why yes, yes he does. Yet another reason why I want to be MacNStein when I grow up.

BACK ON TOPIC:

I know plenty of folks who've had to cut off some family, and not just the in-laws (well, I guess they're somebody's inlaws). It's an inevitable result of progress in one's life. You are going to grow and achieve in ways that they can't, and that they can't understand. The old standard of "but they're FAMILY" doesn't hold up anymore -- family can support themselves, financially and otherwise, and they're welcome to hang around. If not, then we can limit our exposure. I don't want my kids growing up with some loser just because they're "family." Every family has losers.

Remember, you can pick your nose, you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family. But you can move and not tell them where you went -- woo hoo.

Cody Dawg · Oct 26, 2006, 06:21 AM

finboy

Remember, you can pick your nose, you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family. But you can move and not tell them where you went -- woo hoo.

These people that I am personally referring to NEVER do anything right, ever.

The story gets even better.

My husband's mother died and what did his sister, who lived near her do? Nothing. She and her husband put her at the funeral home, had her cremated, took all of her belongings - including her car - and did not call anyone until they had safely cleaned out her home. Then, to make matters worse, when we finally got in touch with the funeral home, we found out that they had promised to pay the funeral home for cremation and they hadn't - and had left my mother-in-law's ashes there for over 2 weeks and never called or contacted the funeral home again. My husband's best friend from high school called up about 2 weeks after she'd died to give his condolences and shocked my husband by saying, "I'm sorry about your mother, man." We ended up paying in full for funeral home services ourselves and getting her ashes off of the funeral home shelf and have never spoken to that particular "sister" of my husbands again.

Next, about a year later, his father (from the same town) died. That turned into a real circus. My husband's brother and OTHER sister went to stay with him while he was sick and they were doing things like fighting over who would control his money after he died, etc. The sister who was there stole about $4000 from my father-in-laws strong box in the home. When asked why she'd done that she said, "It's to keep xxxx (the brother who was there) from stealing it." None of us ever saw that money again. My husband's father left everything to be split in a will and to be controlled by my husband, but as soon as his father died those two descended on his home like vultures and did exactly the same thing as the first sister and stole and took everything out of the home.

My husband sued to have the will honored (we don't live in the same state) and the other sister, who had taken money out of an account, was ordered to pay it back and the house was sold and the proceeds divided, but for two months it was a circus. He tried to maintain a friendly relationship with the brother (and the sister-in-law that prompted this thread) because he thought that maybe the brother had tried to do the right thing(s), but it's always more of the same: You speak to him or his wife and all you hear about is the backstabbing and stupidity that the rest of the family out in that area are still involved with.

So, I've tried to be friendly with the wife of the brother via email, but she never emails to be nice, say hello, etc. She only emails to discuss some new drama or problem. This time it's all about how her husband's ex-wife took custody of her husband's son back and how "they need money for a custody suit to get him back." (Hint Hint) My husband won't get involved and all of a sudden now her emails are all about how sick she is, how she has kidney stones, appendicitis, you name it. I feel sorry for her to be honest, but my husband found out about the emails and said, "PLEASE, please do not communicate with any of them anymore. They are not normal people. They will never be normal. I wish it were different but it isn't going to change and they will do nothing but drag us down to their level, which is dysfunctional."

So, I guess he's right and I won't.

I just wonder at what point you never contact your in laws, or relatives for that matter, again?

finboy · Oct 26, 2006, 02:27 PM

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

I just wonder at what point you never contact your in laws, or relatives for that matter, again?

Trash is trash. It's the constant burden of trying to rise above one's original "station" in life. I've seen plenty of it. A friend of mine who happens to be from da hood, circa 60 years ago, says it's a real burden in the black community too. Do good, rise above, and you'll always have someone trying to pull you back down. Was the same for his father, his mother, him, his wife. The only option is to just cut the bad apples off.

I just remembered something from "Atlas Shrugged" related to this: Hank Rearden had all these mooches living off of him, depending upon his good will, knowing that they'd NEVER DO THE SAME for him (nor would they have had the ability). Seems relevant. All of the mooches lived in fear that Rearden would figure out that they had him trapped by HIS moral code, not theirs. He did.