[macintologist]

A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card and wrote on the back: Revelation 3:20 and stuck it in the door.

The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was the notation Genesis 3:10.

[bstone]

cute

[imitchellg5]

That's old school. Been around for a while.

[olePigeon]

Two priests were taking a piss in the urinals, one priest looks down and sees a nicotine patch on the other priest's John Thomas.

Priest 1: I'm not a rocket scientist, but isn't that supposed to be on your arm?

Priest 2: Nah, it's working fine. I'm down to two butts a day.

[Mastrap]

Originally Posted by macintologist 

A new pastor...

That's the first joke where I had to look up the punch line with google.

[Dakar²]

Originally Posted by Mastrap 

That's the first joke where I had to look up the punch line with google.

Your much more enterprising than me. I said **** it.

[mac1896]

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Evangelical Pastor were discussing the methods they used of dividing up collection money.

The Priest says "I draw a circle on the ground and throw all the money up into the air. Whatever lands inside the circle goes to God."

The Rabbi says " Oy, my system is similar to yours, except I draw a line on the ground. Whatever money lands on the left goes to God."

After hearing these two, the Evagelical pipes up "My way has you both beat. I throw all the money up in the air..........

...........whatever God catches, He can keep !"

[bstone]

Originally Posted by mac1896 

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Evangelical Pastor were discussing the methods they used of dividing up collection money.

The Priest says "I draw a circle on the ground and throw all the money up into the air. Whatever lands inside the circle goes to God."

The Rabbi says " Oy, my system is similar to yours, except I draw a line on the ground. Whatever money lands on the left goes to God."

After hearing these two, the Evagelical pipes up "My way has you both beat. I throw all the money up in the air..........

...........whatever God catches, He can keep !"

I heard this exact one, but swap the rabbi with the evan minister.

[slugslugslug]

Originally Posted by Mastrap 

That's the first joke where I had to look up the punch line with google.

You wanna tell me and Dakar what it means then?

[bradoesch]

Revelation 3:20 (New International Version)

Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.


Genesis 3:10 (New International Version)

He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid."

[Kevin]

Jesus dies and goes up to Heaven. The first thing he does is look for his father, as he has never met the man before and is curious as to what he looks like, and whether or not Jesus looks like his mother or father, etc. He looks high and low but cannot find him.

He asks St. Peter "Where is my father?" But St. Peter says he doesn't know.

He asks the archangel Gabriel "Where is my father?" But Gabriel doesn't know.

He asks John the Baptist "Where is my father?" But John does not know. So he wanders Heaven, impatiently searching.

Suddenly he sees out of the mist an old man coming toward him. The man is very old, with white hair, stooped over a little. "Stop!" Jesus yells. "Who are you?"

"Oh, please help me, I am an old man in search of my son." Jesus is very curious. Could this be his father? "Tell me of your son, old man."

"Oh, you would know him if you saw him. Holes in his hand where the nails used to be, he was nailed to a cross, you know..."

"Father!!!!!" Screams Jesus.

"Pinocchio!!!!!!!" yells the old man.

[Railroader]

Where's the first mention of PMS in the bible?

When Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem.

[Salty]

Haha, oi vey the first joke actually had me laughing out loud. The fact that I had to look up the punch line was awesome.