[Salty]

OK, well you know what? Apparently when you're a little out, it's really tough to not be full on out. I mean it's not like I feel a need to tell random people on the street. But at a school of only about 400ish students, about 300 of which live in residence, it's really hard to not be totally out when lots of people already know. But I think I may have finally unofficially have outed myself. I mean I think everyone already assumes I am except the really dumb people. But anyway, I just wrote an article for our school's student publication called the pamphleteer. Actually I wrote two, one was on why the school shouldn't mandate that students have to oppose gay marriage, and the other was David's fashion tips. Both have actually been surprisingly well received. Apparently a bunch of the girls were reading the fashion tips section and enjoying it. But yah I think I'm practically out. I just need to tell my roommate and sort out the details hahaha. I think if I'm flat out out I might even get my own room .

[SpaceMonkey]

Originally Posted by Salty 

our school's student publication called the pamphleteer

Are you sure that your entire school isn't closeted?

[RAILhead]

Dude, trust me -- everyone knows you're TEH GHEY.

[Salty]

Well I realize that, I just am not publicly saying it. That's the difference. It's been a while since anyone's been surprised.

[SpaceMonkey]

Originally Posted by RAILhead 

Dude, trust me -- everyone knows you're TEH GHEY.

And the card says: gay.

[KeriVit]

Salty, it can be a difficult and proud time. Regardless of what one thinks, it is still hard to drop that ball. Good for you. Stand tall, son.

[Salty]

Well the nice thing is nearly everyone at school who has any social importance is my friend, and nearly everyone I'm friends with knows... granted I still haven't told the roommate hahaha... though I think he's figured it out. He's only ever in our room late at night though and i didn't want to tell him right before he was going to sleep so... whatever. Anyway we only have a week and a half left this semester so if he's terribly uncomfortable they'll probably let him switch rooms and I might get one to myself.

[Kerrigan]

OK so what are your fashion tips?

[KeriVit]

OK, stop being an ass and I''ll stick up for you.

[Kerrigan]

I wanna hear the fashion tips. And they had better not include "using a tie as a belt"

[Salty]

The topic was modesty:

A Modest Smattering of Fashion Tips:
By David Puranen

Modesty is more about attitude than what you actually wear. But here are some tips to help you look better while still being a Good Christian boy and or girl.

Guys:
Better is one pair of well fitting jeans, than a thousand otherwise! Simply because you can buy five pair of jeans at Wal Mart for under a buck, doesn’t mean you should. Things to keep in mind: when in doubt, go with a darker wash, if those pants have pleats you should leave them on the rack for your grandpa. Tapered jeans, will severely taper your love life. And lastly, sweat pants are not real pants.

Ladies:
Just because you’re angry that girls sizes are insane, does not mean that you should be subjecting us to sweat pants! Now there is one time period where you know you’re allowed to get away with those. When you’re stretching that out to the whole month though, we’ve got problems. Yes sometimes finding a pair of jeans that actually fit you right can take hours, you might get frustrated, you might even consider walking around in your underwear just because you’re sick of trying to find a good pair. That’s normal, that’s fine, I feel your pain. But goodness dear, leave the sweat pants in dorm.

Guys:
Just because the T-shirt is funny, doesn’t mean we need to see it every day. Quite frankly there are better uses for your chest then advertising sport equipment brands, hockey teams, and inappropriate one-liners that suggest you’re nothing more than shallow and promiscuous. Try instead of yet another T-shirt that doesn’t fit you right in the shoulders, perhaps a dress shirt, or a knit sweater. Both of these tend to actually be more comfortable than your average poorly cut T, and make you look like you’re more than a teenager with less acne.

Ladies:
Don’t let those girls get close to the floor! A properly fitting bra is probably the single most important part of your wardrobe. If you don’t know what size you should be wearing, go and get professionally fitted. Yes it may feel awkward for a little while to have some old lady in the change room with you, but just go and do it. Nothing says “Stare at my chest!” like a pair of low hanging breasts.

Guys:
Repeat after me, shag is not hot. Shag does not make me manly. Shag does not prove that I care more about my personality than my looks. And shag certainly does not say I care about the woman I’m with. You may be naturally good looking. And you may look good with more hair then average. But when your hair care regime is a BIC and a weekly shower, that’s just wrong. If you don’t know how to style your hair, ask someone, ask me, ask anyone. But please, give your hair a little bit of shape!

Ladies:
Frame your face. Women have the option of having beautiful long hair. If you are lady who has chosen to go this route, for goodness sake make sure you are routinely going to see a professional stylist. You don’t need to go every week, but my dear, you and a pair of scissors do not a professional make! Your hair creates a unique line around your face. Properly shaped hair will create an elongated feminine line that leaves you looking elegant and desirable. Poofy unmanaged hair will only detract, and create an awkward line that becomes associated with your face. Also, for goodness sake don’t use box dyes! And always remember a pony tail is like sweat pants, once in a while you might need to. But for goodness sake don’t make it a habit!

Guys, and Girls who enjoy looking like men:
Hoodies, are for cold days. Days when you feel like doing nothing, if you have 7 of those days in a week we have a problem, if you have 30 of those days in a month, things are not right. A hoodie can be comfy, it can feel good, but for goodness sake you don’t need to wear the same one every day, day in, and day out.

Ladies and Guys:
Just remember, what is even more important than what you wear, is how you carry yourself, and how you feel about yourself. Confidence is one of the most attractive things a person can wear. Be that a quiet confidence, or a loud one. Use your clothes to express yourself, and make sure that you value that expression enough to present yourself reasonably. Nobody expects you to be on a runway in Paris. But at the same time, you may only have to look at yourself when you walk by mirrors. Other people may be subjected to your poor choices every time you walk into a room.

[Kerrigan]

Nicely written It's funny b/c even tho I have an interest in fashion, I dress very conservatively: oxfords, khakis (sometimes even pleated) and deck shoes are what I wear b/c that's the implicit dress code for the guys I fraternize with. In fact this kind of conformity is kinda nice b/c it puts everyone on the same page, socially.

[Big Mac]

I didn't see who the author of this thread was at first, so I thought someone was near dropping out of school.

[IceEnclosure]

This thread is too conforming, and I didn't know salty was a fashion guru.

[Doofy]

Salty, you suck at fashion.

But you're shaping up quite nicely to become one of those fascist pastors who tells everyone what to wear.

[screamingFit]

Don't you go to school at Jesus Camp? Aren't they going to be stoning you in the public square at sunset?

[Dakar²]

Originally Posted by Big Mac 

I didn't see who the author of this thread was at first, so I thought someone was near dropping out of school.

Ditto.

[G4ME]

i thought he was graduating

[RAILhead]

I hope the editor will fix all those grammar and punctuation errors before the story prints.

[Jawbone54]

Originally Posted by Dakar² 

Ditto.

Triplitto.

[Kerrigan]

Originally Posted by RAILhead 

I hope the editor will fix all those grammar and punctuation errors before the story prints.

Ya I didn't want to say anything, but it does need to be cleaned up a bit.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Kerrigan 

Ya I didn't want to say anything, but it does need to be cleaned up a bit.

And if anyone on campus was still under the impression that he's straight, the following bit will instantly put them right:

"Nothing says “Stare at my chest!” like a pair of low hanging breasts.

Obviously Salty has never worked out why WonderBras are so popular.

[Dakar²]

Originally Posted by Doofy 

And if anyone on campus was still under the impression that he's straight

They must be Helen Keller?

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Dakar² 

They must be Helen Keller?

[Salty]

Actually one of the girls who works on the publication cut out the bra paragraph because they thought it was inappropriate. Oh well, I was more concerned with my other article that finally got in.

[RAILhead]

Heh, I love this kid's posts. He's all like, "even though people look at me and talk to me, they don't think I'm toyotally ghey. They're clueless unless I tell them, then they're all surprised! I'm like haaaaaa-ay!"

Dude, trust me: everyone knows you're gay. My Uncle's dog's left butt cheeck could spot you were gay from 150 yeards, up wind.

Quit being so full of yourself and get on with life fer frak's sake.

[andi*pandi]

almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. (meaning there's no such thing as a little bit out)

[scottiB]

Originally Posted by andi*pandi 

almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. (meaning there's no such thing as a little bit out)

Exactly - no flame off.

[invisibleX]

Originally Posted by Salty 

Actually one of the girls who works on the publication cut out the bra paragraph because they thought it was inappropriate. Oh well, I was more concerned with my other article that finally got in.

I'm still amazed you told women to wear bras. Let the revolution begin.


And yes I agree, you should quit with the attention whoring. You're gay, we know, they know, everyone knows, and nobody really cares. Hell, we knew before you did.

[Jawbone54]

I'll bet that the dean of your college is a secret MacNN member.

[Rumor]

Aren't you still a virgin?

What if you don't like sex with men?

[Jawbone54]

Originally Posted by Rumor 

Aren't you still a virgin?

What if you don't like sex with men?

Things certainly would get interesting at that point.

But that's a good thought to bring up. Salty, perhaps your asexual?

[Dakar²]

Originally Posted by Jawbone54 

Salty, perhaps your asexual?

That's god to telling you to become a priest.

I'm only half-joking.

[Jawbone54]

Originally Posted by Dakar² 

That's god to telling you to become a priest.

I'm only half-joking.

Reminds me of the priest joke from the church humor thread.

I might start a thread tonight after work in which I share some of the hilarious church stories that I've seen or heard of in our organization.

Back to topic: Salty, if you've never kissed or had sexual contact with a guy, then what is it that happened in this last year that finally convinced you?

And a separate question out of curiosity: when you "came out" (but didn't), did you find that your homo erotic thoughts and tendencies increased after you had reached that point?

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Dakar² 

That's god to telling you to become a monk.

I'm only half-joking.

Fixed.

[Dakar²]

Not quite getting it.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Dakar² 

Not quite getting it.

A priest teaches people (you know, like how to wear their tits and stuff).

A monk sits alone not bothering anybody, illuminating manuscripts (graphic design! Right up Salty's street) and making cheese and stuff.

[Dakar²]

Originally Posted by Doofy 

A priest teaches people

Oh, I get it.

Originally Posted by Doofy 

(you know, like how to wear their tits and stuff).

Uh, come again?

[Jawbone54]

Originally Posted by Doofy 

A priest teaches people (you know, like how to wear their tits and stuff).

A monk sits alone not bothering anybody, illuminating manuscripts (graphic design! Right up Salty's street) and making cheese and stuff.

Some of those illuminated manuscripts are incredible. I know that it's all supposed to be a joke and such, but some of those guys have serious talent.

[Jawbone54]

Originally Posted by Dakar² 

Uh, come again?

The British teeth thread has him fixated on that particular topic.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Dakar² 

Uh, come again?

Salty's ultimate goal is to become pastor (priest) of his own church and inform his congregation about properly fitting undergarments:

Originally Posted by Salty

Ladies:
Don’t let those girls get close to the floor! A properly fitting bra is probably the single most important part of your wardrobe. If you don’t know what size you should be wearing, go and get professionally fitted. Yes it may feel awkward for a little while to have some old lady in the change room with you, but just go and do it. Nothing says “Stare at my chest!” like a pair of low hanging breasts.

It'll be like Father Ted, Queer Eye and What Not To Wear all rolled into one.

[Dakar²]

Originally Posted by Doofy 

Salty's ultimate goal is to become pastor (priest) of his own church and inform his congregation about properly fitting undergarments

You're putting together some good stuff here, but I'm afraid its either too subtle or too obscure for me.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Jawbone54 

Some of those illuminated manuscripts are incredible. I know that it's all supposed to be a joke and such, but some of those guys have serious talent.

I know. They rock.
Monks make excellent soap too - very talented guys.

Originally Posted by Jawbone54 

The British teeth thread has him fixated on that particular topic.

No, the fact that God made breasts so lovely has me fixated on that topic.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Dakar² 

You're putting together some good stuff here, but I'm afraid its either too subtle or too obscure for me.

Read the thread dude.

[Dakar²]

Hence, saying you're too subtle for me.

It's not a lack of knowledge it's a lack of making the connections.

[Gossamer]

Originally Posted by Jawbone54 

Things certainly would get interesting at that point.

But that's a good thought to bring up. Salty, perhaps your asexual?

Oh but haven't you read his last 800 posts here? Each one mentions how attractive he finds Tim or how much he hopes Alfred is hot or how disappointed he is that Brian isn't gay.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Dakar² 

Hence, saying you're too subtle for me.

It's not a lack of knowledge it's a lack of making the connections.

I give up then.

[Rumor]

It's all well and good what he says. However, his reaction when Sergeant Cyclops stands at attention will be the deciding factor.

[Dakar²]

Originally Posted by Doofy 

I give up then.

I said it ain't your fault. I understood all the jokes after you clarified/de-subtlfied.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Dakar² 

I said it ain't your fault. I understood all the jokes after you clarified/de-subtlfied.

No worries.
I just don't know how to desubtlify that one tonight. And there's series two of Sliders waiting for me downstairs. Hence, I give up.