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torsoboy · Dec 26, 2006, 08:09 AM

I was at the store the other day and I planned to buy a bunch of things so I grabbed a cart so that I wouldn't have to carry everything in my hands, but in the end I only bought one thing... a colorful pack of "scents and flavors" condoms. So there I was with my big shopping cart with a single large pack of condoms in it. The ailes were pretty packed and I had to say "excuse me" once or twice to get past people that were just standing in the ailes, which of course resulted in them turning around and looking at me and my cart; I got more than one chuckle aimed my way because of my shopping selection because of this. Then to checkout I got behind a mom with her three daughters in the self checkout line... so it was me and my shopping cart with only a pack of condoms behind a mother and her three daughters (which of course looked back to see who was behind them and what they were buying).

So I don't know why something like buying condoms feels so dang awkward, but whether I am buying them at 1am and am the only one in the store, or whether it is 2PM and the store is full it just feels awkard to do it. And I know I am not the only one that feels like this...

So what do you guys feel awkward/embarrased to buy at the store? My wife feels kinda awkward buying her maxi-pads, and I am pretty sure that older people feel embarrassed buying "depends". Is there anything else that you guys feel weird buying?

ghporter · Dec 26, 2006, 08:39 AM

I think it's because, unlike almost any other item, everyone KNOWS what you intend to do with condoms. This is also true of feminine hygiene products, hemorrhoid remedies and jock itch cream.

But you made a few tactical errors in your shopping trip. Once it became clear that you weren't going to be getting a lot of stuff, you could have ditched the cart and then gone back to the condom aisle. And without the cart at the checkout, you could have casually held the condoms in one hand behind your back so the mom and girls would have seen a guy, not a big cart with a pack of condoms in it.

I have, over the years, gotten over much of the awkwardness you describe. I've bought feminine products for my wife (once she specifies which one she wants; there are far too many options and variations for my simple, male mind to understand), and various other personal care products without much hesitation. In general I don't see people I know at any place I shop for potentially awkward products, so if someone sees me with, say, a package of maxi-pads with wings and extra-strength athlete's foot cream, I really don't care.

RAILhead · Dec 26, 2006, 09:00 AM

Amazon.com: Online Shopping for Electronics, Apparel, Computers, Books, DVDs & more

Kevin · Dec 26, 2006, 09:10 AM

Originally Posted by RAILhead

Amazon.com: Online Shopping for Electronics, Apparel, Computers, Books, DVDs & more

"Sorry baby, not tonight.. .FedEx hasn't arrived..."

centerchannel68 · Dec 26, 2006, 09:29 AM

If it makes you feel any better, at a few points during my life I've had to buy pregnancy tests. And guess what? They ALWAYS ring up wrong, resulting in a loudspeaker 'price check on UPT pregnancy tests please, in aisle 5".

cjrivera · Dec 26, 2006, 10:06 AM

Originally Posted by Kevin

"Sorry baby, not tonight.. .FedEx hasn't arrived..."

FedEx.
When it absolutely, positively has to be in her overnight...

ajprice · Dec 26, 2006, 10:11 AM

At least you weren't the millionth customer in Kentucky Fried Movie

.

turtle777 · Dec 26, 2006, 11:02 AM

Dude, how about NOT using a cart

-t

torsoboy · Dec 26, 2006, 11:21 AM

Originally Posted by ghporter

I think it's because, unlike almost any other item, everyone KNOWS what you intend to do with condoms. This is also true of feminine hygiene products, hemorrhoid remedies and jock itch cream.

But you made a few tactical errors in your shopping trip. Once it became clear that you weren't going to be getting a lot of stuff, you could have ditched the cart and then gone back to the condom aisle. And without the cart at the checkout, you could have casually held the condoms in one hand behind your back so the mom and girls would have seen a guy, not a big cart with a pack of condoms in it.

I have, over the years, gotten over much of the awkwardness you describe. I've bought feminine products for my wife (once she specifies which one she wants; there are far too many options and variations for my simple, male mind to understand), and various other personal care products without much hesitation. In general I don't see people I know at any place I shop for potentially awkward products, so if someone sees me with, say, a package of maxi-pads with wings and extra-strength athlete's foot cream, I really don't care.

Originally Posted by turtle777

Dude, how about NOT using a cart

-t

Yeah, the cart should have been ditched. That was my mistake for sure. But even when I don't use a cart bringing up a single pack of condoms is pretty awkward for me... especially if it is at a non-self checkout lane. For some reason going up to a register with only a pack of condoms and having a young female cashier ring it up is awkward.

It is even worse when it's at 2am or when I buy something like a vibrating ring along with the condoms.

So it seems from the replys that some people feel awkward with condoms (me), feminine hygiene products, hemorrhoid remedies, jock itch cream, pregnancy tests, and athlete's foot cream. Anything else any of you feel awkward buying?

turtle777 · Dec 26, 2006, 11:44 AM

Originally Posted by torsoboy

It is even worse when it's at 2am or when I buy something like a vibrating ring along with the condoms.

Vibrating rings ? What kind of store was that anyways ?
Why do moms with daughters shop in that store ?

-t

zro · Dec 26, 2006, 11:46 AM

Do what I do: Hide the box you're buying under a box of Magnums you ditch at checkout.

Dakar² · Dec 26, 2006, 11:52 AM

Self-checkout was made for days like these.

badidea · Dec 26, 2006, 12:10 PM

A few years ago I went on vacation with a few friends and since we all kind of expected to have a great party vacation everyone of us wanted to bring condoms. Since I was already in a shop buying them I also bought for all of my friends - this resulted in me buying 4 family packs at once!
This made me feel kind of embarrassed (or proud?)!

Kevin · Dec 26, 2006, 12:15 PM

Originally Posted by badidea

A few years ago I went on vacation with a few friends and since we all kind of expected to have a great party vacation everyone of us wanted to bring condoms. Since I was already in a shop buying them I also bought for all of my friends - this resulted in me buying 4 family packs at once!
This made me feel kind of embarrassed (or proud?)!

Did you help each other with putting them on?

badidea · Dec 26, 2006, 12:29 PM

Originally Posted by Kevin

Did you help each other with putting them on?

Of course (since your mom doesn't do it for me anymore)!

olePigeon · Dec 26, 2006, 12:37 PM

Here's how you build your confidence in buying condoms:

Buy the Magnums or XXLs, then rip the price tag off 'em. So when you get to the counter, everyone will here on the speaker, "Price check on aisle 5 for Magnum Condoms, price check." Then you just do your best Captain Morgan pose.

Dakar² · Dec 26, 2006, 12:40 PM

Originally Posted by olePigeon

Then you just do your best Captain Morgan pose.

centerchannel68 · Dec 26, 2006, 01:31 PM

The magnums= the best. I don't know why anybody would get anything else.

memory-minus · Dec 26, 2006, 02:19 PM

Originally Posted by torsoboy

...a colorful pack of "scents and flavors" condoms...

...My wife...

I thought the whole point of obtaining the latter was the rid yourself of the former.

I hate condoms. It's really the only reason I've maintained a relationship for the past 6 years.

Don't tell him that.

memory-minus · Dec 26, 2006, 02:20 PM

Originally Posted by centerchannel68

The magnums= the best. I don't know why anybody would get anything else.

So, come here often?

torsoboy · Dec 26, 2006, 03:02 PM

Originally Posted by turtle777

Vibrating rings ? What kind of store was that anyways ?
Why do moms with daughters shop in that store ?

-t

Well, it was actually Wal*Mart, so quite a few moms and their daughters shop there. In our city of 100k Wal*Mart isn't looked down upon like it is in this forum, so pretty much everyone shops there at some time.

Originally Posted by memory-minus

I thought the whole point of obtaining the latter was the rid yourself of the former.

I hate condoms. It's really the only reason I've maintained a relationship for the past 6 years.

Don't tell him that.

Yeah condoms aren't my first choice either, but they are WAY better than the mood swings that birth control pills give my wife. We have tried using different types of the pill, but they all have some negative effects on her. The one plus side to condoms is that they are cheaper than birth control... $10-20 a month vs $40 a month.

screamingFit · Dec 26, 2006, 03:15 PM

Try going through the line with a lawn chair, douche, condoms, whipped cream and a bottle of wine.

Rumor · Dec 26, 2006, 03:43 PM

Condoms, bannana, choclate syrup, Sweatin to the Oldies and a bull whip.

That should throw people off.

Dakar² · Dec 26, 2006, 03:47 PM

It'd be fun to buy a chainsaw, stain remover, large heavy duty garbage bags, and all black clothes (including gloves) and see how the cashier reacts.

cjrivera · Dec 26, 2006, 04:01 PM

"Let me have some of those porno magazines... large box
of condoms... a couple of those panty shields, and some
illegal fireworks, and one of those disposable enemas. Ehhh... make it two."

Dakar² · Dec 26, 2006, 04:04 PM

"Homer whatever you're planning on for tonight, count me out."

cjrivera · Dec 26, 2006, 04:11 PM

Originally Posted by Dakar²

"Homer whatever you're planning on for tonight, count me out."

Dakar² · Dec 26, 2006, 04:12 PM

Probably one of the funniest lines that series has ever uttered.

Face Ache · Dec 26, 2006, 05:01 PM

Originally Posted by badidea

this resulted in me buying 4 family packs at once!

"Family packs" of condoms? Umm...

olePigeon · Dec 26, 2006, 05:36 PM

Originally Posted by Face Ache

"Family packs" of condoms? Umm...

Only in Utah.™

Kevin · Dec 26, 2006, 06:07 PM

Originally Posted by badidea

Of course (since your mom doesn't do it for me anymore)!

Come on.. atleast mine was semi-clever.

d4nth3m4n · 10:28 PM

dude, i was buying rubbers at 14, man up. it was awkward then, now it's nothing. i do have to admit that it's more of a run into planned parenthood when my girlfriend is in getting her cooch scoped and fill up my pockets kinda thing these days.

Dakar² · Dec 26, 2006, 10:13 PM

Cooch scooped.

And we've hit a new high.

Cipher13 · Dec 26, 2006, 11:40 PM

Learn not to give a **** what anyone else thinks. It's easy.

badidea · Dec 27, 2006, 01:45 AM

Originally Posted by Kevin

Come on.. atleast mine was semi-clever.

Well, ok that's right - and semi-clever is the right expression!

Originally Posted by Face Ache

"Family packs" of condoms? Umm...

Or you can call it 24 pack!

B Gallagher · Dec 27, 2006, 03:55 AM

Yeah, I too feel awkward buying condoms. I'd usually get them at the supermarket or the drug shop. If I'm at the drug shop I'm usually just there to get them, but if I'm at the supermarket, I get them along with a whole lot of other stuff (week's groceries... no bull-whips and chocolate and cream...

) so it's just another item in the bags.

I hate that I feel awkward buying them though. Honestly, I would feel much more awkward telling my parents "uh.. she's pregnant, and no we didn't use protection." Seriously. Sure, you're going to be having sex with them (or filling them up with water, hanging them on people's door handles at university, etc...) but at least you're practicing safe sex. And I do wish I didn't have to feel embarrassed for that.

Kevin · Dec 27, 2006, 06:18 AM

I used to ask the old ladies behind the counter "if ribbed REALLY WAS for her?"

Person Man · Dec 27, 2006, 08:11 AM

Originally Posted by torsoboy

Well, it was actually Wal*Mart, so quite a few moms and their daughters shop there. In our city of 100k Wal*Mart isn't looked down upon like it is in this forum, so pretty much everyone shops there at some time.

WALMART? VIBRATING RINGS? WALMART?

Walmart, who insists that record companies produce "special versions" of their albums free of swear words... "we're a family company." Selling vibrating rings?

Hypocrites.

Paco500 · Dec 27, 2006, 09:28 AM

Me and a freind went to buy a few gag items for another friend's bachelor party, and we ended up at the checkout together with a pack of Magnums, a costume tiara, k-y, a disposable camera and a case of beer.

It was kind of awkward.

scaught · Dec 27, 2006, 10:01 AM

Originally Posted by Cipher13

Learn not to give a **** what anyone else thinks. It's easy.

This is a good answer.

I mean. Really. Who gives a **** if you're buying a pack of condoms or 3 dozen and 2 types of lube to go with it. In that case they're only getting used for one purpose - GETTING LAID and that is awesome. If you're buying maxi-pads and you're a dude, they're obviously not for you. In that case you're probably getting laid (err, in a week or so, anyway) which is, again, awesome. So. Man up. Buy some condoms. I was buying some and some lube not that long ago, and figured if I was a cashier and someone came through my line with that type of stuff I would probably high-five them. Go ahead, playboy. Do the damn thing. Beat it up like it owes you money.

IceEnclosure · Dec 27, 2006, 10:11 AM

Originally Posted by scaught

Go ahead, playboy. Do the damn thing. Beat it up like it owes you money.

and you KNOW that's right!

cooch scoped, that's tight too.

Andy8 · Dec 27, 2006, 06:00 PM

I buy mine at the local adult shop, as they gave me a discount card

I get a better selection of condoms, lubes and any other props required. I do not have to wait in line feeling awkward, as everyone in the shop is buying the same stuff. The shop is owned by two girls and it seems they have as many female clients as they do male.

ajprice · Dec 27, 2006, 06:12 PM

Pr0n discount... impressive.

I am wondering what the card looks like though

mac-at-kearsarge · Dec 28, 2006, 04:34 AM

This past summer when a group of friends and I went up to Maine on vacation. On the way we stopped at WallyWorld to grab some items. As we were leaving I remembered some things we forgot. I told the others to go through check out with the other stuff, I'd grab the forgotten items and I'd run through the express lane.

Well being completely oblivious to the items I was purchasing (My mind was on the vacation). I ran to the express lane and said to the young girl behind the counter "man am I going to have a great time this weekend." Judging from the expression on her face, I think doing so may have traumatized her for life, considering that I was only purchasing condoms and peanut butter.

Kevin · Dec 28, 2006, 06:37 AM

Originally Posted by Person Man

Walmart, who insists that record companies produce "special versions" of their albums free of swear words... "we're a family company." Selling vibrating rings?

Hypocrites.

Marital Aids.

scaught · Dec 28, 2006, 08:27 AM

Originally Posted by Kevin

Marital Aids.

It's the "family planning" aisle in some stores. That always cracks me up.

kmkkid · Dec 28, 2006, 12:53 PM

Oh come on torsoboy.

You just know it was your sub-conscious mind telling you how many hot chicks you *might* pick up if all they see in your cart is a pack of condoms.

torsoboy · Dec 28, 2006, 08:22 PM

Originally Posted by kmkkid

Oh come on torsoboy.

You just know it was your sub-conscious mind telling you how many hot chicks you *might* pick up if all they see in your cart is a pack of condoms.

lol

I don't think that girls are normally turned on by seeing a pack of condoms. I know that I have never been turned on by seeing a pack of birth control pills...

kmkkid · Dec 28, 2006, 08:23 PM

Originally Posted by torsoboy

lol

I don't think that girls are normally turned on by seeing a pack of condoms. I know that I have never been turned on by seeing a pack of birth control pills...

Maybe not turned on, but they'll know you're ready for action

olePigeon · Dec 28, 2006, 08:53 PM

Originally Posted by kmkkid

Maybe not turned on, but they'll know you're ready for action

Unless there's also an issue of "Men's Health" magazine covering ED.