[shifuimam]

Here's a question for all you MacNNers...those with kids, those who are still kids, those who yearn for a Michael Jackson-esque life of being an adult who tried to never grow up...

How did your parents handle sex ed in your house? How do you handle sex ed with your kids?

I've noticed that there's a mix of conservative and less-conservative people in this forum, so I'd like some insight into how other families handle this issue.

I'm 22 and my mother has informed me that she never wants to discuss anything sexually-related with me. Ever. I literally learned everything I know from books, movies, and cable TV when I was living in a dorm at college.

So. How about y'all?

[Rumor]

When I was in high school and my dad would let me go to a party (after much pleading), the rule was "If you're not in bed by midnight, come home."

That said, I was taught about safe sex, the effects of STD's and pregnancy at a somewhat early age. My father figured that he probably couldn't stop me or my brother, so he'd at least give us the tools necessary to be as responsible as we could.

[cenutrio]

"If you're not in bed by midnight, come home."

[Dakar²]

This should turn out to be a fun thread.

[mitchell_pgh]

The problem with "Sex Ed" is the word "Sex"

If they called it "Disease Prevention"... nobody would say a thing.

[Goldfinger]

My parents once asked me: You probably know more than we do [about sex] but, is there anything you want us to tell/explain to you ? I said: nah, it's probably true that I know more than you two do.
I was 13 or 14 back then I guess.

I never really needed to get everything explained to me, but I guess they would've explained everything.
Heck, my dad even tells me about his sex life (not that I want to all that).

[cenutrio]

Ok,

This is me leaving for a summer class excursion after my second year in high school (I was around 16). On the first night after arriving to the first hotel I opened my bag and found a leter on the top of it. It was from my mon, it said something like "if your moral values fail you, at least be safe with the material ones". On the bag I found a box of condons and a bottle of Chivas Regal 12 years.

No kidding.

Shes was very afraid that we (I mean my borthers and me) would get a girl pregnant.

Years later, we realized that may be she put the whiskey bottle as the first anticonceptive resource, intead the condons.

We love her very much

[butterfly0fdoom]

My parents never really talked about it, especially since they started sex ed in 5th grade where I live. They just tell me that if I get someone pregnant within the next 5 years, I'm screwed.

[shifuimam]

Originally Posted by butterfly0fdoom 

My parents never really talked about it, especially since they started sex ed in 5th grade where I live. They just tell me that if I get someone pregnant within the next 5 years, I'm screwed.

Yeah - I went to a Christian school where their modified sex ed. basically says "don't let a guy take your clothes off" and leaves it at that.

So your parents would basically throw you out if you got pregnant? Has that thought had any influence on your choices?

[Zeeb]

My parents dealt with it by not discussing it at all. I'm self taught.

[OreoCookie]

With my parents, I've never had `the talk'. Instead, they told us bit by bit, getting into more and more detail. From the very beginning, they emphasized the aspect of love … They have never taught me or my siblings any bs and I'm glad, they didn't.

[Railroader]

At 14 my parents asked me:

mom and dad: Do you know how women get pregnant?
Me: yes
mom and dad: How?
Me: [blushing like a fiend]Sex
mom and dad: Do you know how to stop pregnancy and still have sex?
Me: Yes?
mom and dad: How?
Me: [blushing]Condoms and the pill
mom and dad: Anything else you want to know?
Me: NO!















[/blushing]

[SSharon]

My jewish school didn't teach me anything beyond basic anatomy during sex ed and my parents never talked about it either. I learned everything I needed to learn at summer camp and from some nice older man I met in a chatroom.

just kidding about the latter part.

[::maroma::]

Originally Posted by cenutrio 

Ok,

This is me leaving for a summer class excursion after my second year in high school (I was around 16). On the first night after arriving to the first hotel I opened my bag and found a leter on the top of it. It was from my mon, it said something like "if your moral values fail you, at least be safe with the material ones". On the bag I found a box of condons and a bottle of Chivas Regal 12 years.

No kidding.

Shes was very afraid that we (I mean my borthers and me) would get a girl pregnant.

Years later, we realized that may be she put the whiskey bottle as the first anticonceptive resource, intead the condons.

We love her very much

Haha! Thats awesome.

My Dad took me fishing. He said "Do you know about sex yet?" I said yes. He said "Do you know not to be stupid and use condoms?" I said yes. We finished fishing.

I learned it all from friends and such. Its quite a different world we live in from out parents and grandparents time. Sex is so much a part of our culture that its almost impossible for kids not to know all about it at an early age. Its really hard for parents these days to be sure that their kids know all about it.

I know when/if I have kids I'll be as embarrassing as I can be. Make it memorable for them. And no matter how uncomfortable I may feel, I'll be asking the really tough questions of them.

[Philip J. Fry]

My dad basically said "Don't be a fool; wrap your tool." No lie. Plain and simple and to the point.

[Andy8]

Reproduction aside, kids need to know the facts about STD's and how they are transmitted.

[Salty]

My parents talks about sex at the dinner table, me and my sister would just put our hands over our ears and yell "LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!" Until they stopped. Other than that, I don't know when I found out that penises could go in vaginas. The internet taught me that penises could go in other places. Sex ed class in grade 7 told me that women didn't pee out of their vaginas like I'd always thought.
Yah. I don't know exactly when I learned.

[Rumor]

Originally Posted by Andy8 

Reproduction aside, kids need to know the facts about STD's and how they are transmitted.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that STD's are caused by sex.

[residentEvil]

when dating the girl that was to be my first (18 yrs old), she and i went to her parents and told them; we all agreed on a birth control (pill and condoms). i even went with her and her mom to the doctor and sat in on a talk with the doctor.

my parents where always open about everything; sex, drugs, even under age drinking. you drink, call us. you will be punished but we will still come get you. anytime/anyplace. i never did, but one of my brothers did and my parents were true to their word.

i grew up in an adult world; lived out in the middle of nowhere with hardly no neighbors let alone kids; i would start working at the family restaurant around 12 and was around adults all the time outside of school from as far back as i could remember (i got great stories of when i was 3 causing havoc at the two restaurants). i had more friends as teachers then kids; i just knew how to talk/relate to them better than people my own age.

i had to grow up very fast or be left behind. sex was never taboo or talking about awkward.

[Nebagakid]

My parents never taught me about sex. No need, the Simpsons taught me everything.

[natnabour]

My parents discussed sex with my siblings and I. My mom with me, my dad with my brothers.

All I remember was my mom telling me that, "US virgins..." lalalalalallalala. And I thought to myself...you're not a virgin, mom! The nerve of some parents. She then decided to turn me against tampons, saying that I would lose my virginity if I wore them.

I learned about sex from my older cousins, listening to love line, and reading books too mature for my age. *shrug*

[shifuimam]

This is interesting. People seem to have learned from parents who weren't afraid to talk about it, or from tv and whatnot.

Originally Posted by ::maroma::

Sex is so much a part of our culture that its almost impossible for kids not to know all about it at an early age.

The problem comes when, like me, your parents refuse to talk about it AND won't let you watch TV or PG-13 movies, or read magazines or read books from the young adult section.

Of course, the only thing about sex my mom ever actually said to me was that if I ever got preggo, she was kicking me out of the house, because "if you're mature enough to have sex, you're mature enough to live on your own". I think underage drinking would have gotten the same reaction.

I don't think that protecting your kids from some things is bad. Apparently I was a little more than protected.

[brassplayersrock²]

love line to bad that one guy left, it went down hill after that. well, basically, I learned about it from school, and watched my teacher wrap a condom around her fist up to her elbow to show how elastic the ****ers are. also learned about it from a good friend who I don't get to talk to anymore we got out of touch. anyways, the only real talk I had with my folks, well dad anyways, was before I came to college and he asked me if I wanted condoms, and I said sure why not, and he went out and bought me some.

Alex

[Gossamer]

Originally Posted by brassplayersrock 

love line to bad that one guy left, it went down hill after that.

Adam Corolla. He was definitely the heart of that show.

[butterfly0fdoom]

Originally Posted by shifuimam 

Yeah - I went to a Christian school where their modified sex ed. basically says "don't let a guy take your clothes off" and leaves it at that.

So your parents would basically throw you out if you got pregnant? Has that thought had any influence on your choices?

No, they won't throw me out, and I wouldn't be the one getting pregnant. They're just using an interesting choice of words to describe the pains of having a kid if I'm trying to get through college.

[Cadaver]

My parents were very upfront about everything. My mother also holds a masters degree in sex therapy, so there were plenty of books, geared towards teaching youngsters about sex, made available to me and my sister. They were (are) definitely not prudes.

And when I got older (and more curious), I found a copy of The Hite Report in my mother's library. Now that made for some interesting reading.

[Buckaroo]

I have 2 daughters, 19 & 26. It's my ex-wife's responsiblity to cover this subject.

[Cadaver]

Originally Posted by Buckaroo 

I have 2 daughters, 19 & 26. It's my ex-wife's responsiblity to cover this subject.

I hope she's spoken to them by now. Otherwise, you might soon have a problem on your hands.

[Buckaroo]

Originally Posted by Cadaver 

I hope she's spoken to them by now. Otherwise, you might soon have a problem on your hands.

I agree.

[ShortcutToMoncton]

I knew about sex when I was in grade 2.

But, I'm from Newfoundland. I hear it makes a difference.

greg

[gargamel123]

Originally Posted by Salty 

The internet taught me that penises could go in other places.

If you look enough on the internet you will find penises can go just about anywhere.

My parents never said anything to me about sex. The only thing they ask me every once in awhile is if I'm gay. That is about as close to any sex/sexuality thing they get to.

[quattrokid73]

Scenarios:

1. age 12, helping mom with the dishes, "did you get any special grown-up hairs yet?" "MOM!" "well, do you know what happens to a girl every month?" "yes mom"

2. age 17, comming back from dorm shopping for freshman year of college. in the car, alone with mom on the highway..."so Adam, you should probably know before you go to college that its just as easy to get STDs from oral sex as it is normal sex." "thanks mom" "~silence~"

3. age 18, folding sheets with mom, "Adam, are you and ------ having sex?" "mom, NO" "Well, if you are, its fine, just be safe!"

That's my parental education. we had it rather extensive in highschool though. we even made penis/testicle diagrams out of balloons in health class...

adam

[Oisín]

I don’t get how you can all say all this so precisely. I have absolutely no idea where I learned about sex from. I have no recollection whatsoever of anyone ever teaching me about sex (apart from some very inferior sex ed in fourth grade or thereabouts—the teacher was basically as embarassed as the class).

I suppose either my parents (or... someone/something else? Dunno) took care of this stuff so early on that it’s just lost in early childhood memories; or there’s something to all this Freudian repression stuff after all...

I’ve never actually had any talks about sex with my parents (that I can remember). It was always just understood that I knew what I needed to know. The closest thing was coming out (at 17), and my stepmother talking about how the only sad thing was that they were less likely to have grandchildren this way.

[shifuimam]

Originally Posted by gargamel123 

If you look enough on the internet you will find penises can go just about anywhere.

My parents never said anything to me about sex. The only thing they ask me every once in awhile is if I'm gay. That is about as close to any sex/sexuality thing they get to.

Hahahahah...I can just imagine...

mom: so...are you gay yet?
gargamel: uh...no.
mom: how about now?
gargamel: nope.

[OreoCookie]

Originally Posted by Oisín 

I suppose either my parents (or... someone/something else? Dunno) took care of this stuff so early on that it’s just lost in early childhood memories; or there’s something to all this Freudian repression stuff after all...

I’ve never actually had any talks about sex with my parents (that I can remember). It was always just understood that I knew what I needed to know. The closest thing was coming out (at 17), and my stepmother talking about how the only sad thing was that they were less likely to have grandchildren this way.

Same here. I seem to remember that even at age four or five, my parents had already told me how `babies are made' (the parents make love, the penis goes into the vagina and nine months later, a baby is born, that sort of thing) -- obviously the level of detail increased over time, but I really like the fact that my parents have never told me any bs.

Plus we've had our first sex ed classes in second or third grade, covering different aspects (first, the focus was on puberty, etc.).

[screamingFit]

At age 9, I asked my mother how a baby got inside her as she was pregnant. Her reply was to go to the library and look it up.

Her nurturing made me what I am today

[Jawbone54]

I started asking questions at home when I was about 12, and my parents just kind of smiled at each other. Then my dad and I hopped in his car, drove around town, and he answered every question I had. He explained everything, and nothing was uncomfortable about it. My parents were always good about the way they handled everything.

[lpkmckenna]

I never got "the talk," but I remember watching a very graphic documentary on TV with my mom. I specifically recall watching a stark naked woman giving birth in some kind of "birthing pool," and an infrared recording of a man getting an erection.

I generally believe documentaries and books are the best ways for parents to provide information to their kids. Kids will "eat it up." Leave access to books about sex on the family bookshelf. If kids want to ask questions, they will.

I had three sisters, so there were Cosmo magazines everywhere. I remember reading about women's health and STDs in those.

I remember some frank discussions at the dinner table about the Catholic Church's stance on birth control, and how my parents didn't accept it. Otherwise, I don't recall any discussion about STDs or condoms.

[brassplayersrock²]

yeah, the entire catholic church against............. never mind, back to what I wanted to say. i think i saw the same show you did lpk. when i was reading your post a childhood memory serviced. what i recall, it was shot well, and the narrative wasn't dummied down like some other shows on the subject i have seen.

Alex

[residentEvil]

or, just watch Monty Python's Meaning of Life.

everything you need to know about anything is in there. all questions about life are answered.

[quattrokid73]

i know a kid whose dad bought him a Penthouse and gave it to him and walked away.

[Sub]

Originally Posted by shifuimam 

I'm 22 and my mother has informed me that she never wants to discuss anything sexually-related with me. Ever. I literally learned everything I know from books, movies, and cable TV when I was living in a dorm at college.

You're lucky about the mom thing, I would rather learn from books or experience than have my own mother tell me. Not so much my dad either, I learned it in 5th grade health, just in time too.

[shifuimam]

Originally Posted by Sub 

You're lucky about the mom thing, I would rather learn from books or experience than have my own mother tell me. Not so much my dad either, I learned it in 5th grade health, just in time too.

Not really "lucky", per se... when she said it, it was with that judgemental, you're-a-bad-person-because-you're-not-a-virgin attitude.

I would rather have learned about some things (like how sex actually worked) before I went off to college. I wasn't allowed to date - at all - in high school (my mom had a coronary when the class president - a guy - called me my junior year to ask about the class fundrasier), so when I got to college I had never been alone with a guy, never held hands with a guy, never been kissed on any part of my face or body by a guy...

There's only so much you should be okay with not telling your kids. No 18-year-old should feel like she's done something wrong when a boy tries to hold her hand for the first time.

Side note - I just tried to spell "virigin" as "version". I spend too much time around a computer.

[Sub]

That is ok, you're a virigin veteran member.

[Gossamer]

Originally Posted by Sub 

That is ok, you're a virigin veteran member.

So far I've seen two times when you've edited a post about 20 minutes after originally making it to add in a smiley...

[Sub]

Yeah...But I'm not a virgin.

[TailsToo]

Originally Posted by quattrokid73 

Scenarios:

1. age 12, helping mom with the dishes, "did you get any special grown-up hairs yet?" "MOM!" "well, do you know what happens to a girl every month?" "yes mom"

2. age 17, comming back from dorm shopping for freshman year of college. in the car, alone with mom on the highway..."so Adam, you should probably know before you go to college that its just as easy to get STDs from oral sex as it is normal sex." "thanks mom" "~silence~"

3. age 18, folding sheets with mom, "Adam, are you and ------ having sex?" "mom, NO" "Well, if you are, its fine, just be safe!"

adam

Wow, our mom's must have read the same book!

[pixelbaker]

if I ever mustered up the courage to ask either of my conservative baptist parents anything about sex, they would probably have very VERY reluctantly gave me the most simplistic basic explanation. something along the lines of "the man and the woman have sex, then a baby comes 9 months later. that's enough. I have to go read the bible; I feel dirty."

you should've been there when I told them I was bi.

[gargamel123]

I bet that went well

[gargamel123]

Originally Posted by shifuimam 

Hahahahah...I can just imagine...

mom: so...are you gay yet?
gargamel: uh...no.
mom: how about now?
gargamel: nope.

It is more like a family meeting thing. I'm sure they know about my past and that is why they ask.