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marden · 08:34 PM

This Bed Is Juuust Right

My parents had sex in my room and now I'm scarred for life.

Posted Thursday, March 1, 2007, at 10:30 AM ET

Dear Prudence,

I am 16, and my parents think that it's "cute" and "fun" to have sex in other places in the house besides their bedroom. I'm never home when this occurs, and am mature enough to realize that every couple needs to spice up their life a little now and then.

Recently, I found out that my parents had sex on my bed.

This was mortifying and horrific for me. Of all the places to do it, they thought it would be interesting to try it on my bed. I haven't even had sex on my bed!

They don't see anything wrong with what they've done, but I find it completely disgusting and unnecessary. How can I explain to them that this has scarred me, possibly for the rest of my life?

—Need New Sheets

Advice on manners and morals. - - Slate Magazine

There's just too much wrong with this whole thing to know exactly where to begin.

Ghoser777 · Mar 3, 2007, 05:49 PM

How did he find out?

marden · Mar 3, 2007, 05:54 PM

Originally Posted by Ghoser777

How did he find out?

See? That's just one MORE thing that's wrong here!

goMac · Mar 3, 2007, 06:02 PM

I tried to come up with a humorous comment for this thread but I couldn't find anything tasteful that involved having sex on a 16 year old's bed.

Ghoser777 · Mar 3, 2007, 06:03 PM

I mean, did he walk in on them? Where the bragging about it? I don't remember my parents ever telling me anything about their sexual escapades, whether they happened or not... and frankly, I wouldn't want to know!

Dr. Wahnsinn · Mar 3, 2007, 06:25 PM

Why has it been assumed that the kid is male? Did I miss something?

This reminded me of one of my earlier girlfriends. She once had us make use of her parent's bed, and then (gasp!) her younger brother's bed. Weird.

mac128k-1984 · Mar 3, 2007, 06:31 PM

Meh,
since the parents own the house, and pay the mortgage every room is fair game

the 16 year old had to realize that mom and dad "do it" I'm sure plenty of 16 year olds did the deed with their girlfriend/boyfriends in their parents bed.

I have no problem with this and I'd tell the 16 year old to suck it up cupcake

analogika · Mar 3, 2007, 06:44 PM

Wait til he/she finds out that his parents had to **** for him to exist AT ALL!

Won't that just be the clincher on his therapy!

jokell82 · Mar 3, 2007, 07:13 PM

Psh, that's nothing. A friend of mine had something MUCH worse happen to him growing up. He was home sick for about a week, so the family had moved the one TV in the house into his room. One night he woke up to the sound of his TV being on - his dad had snuck into his room while he was sleeping, turned on cinemax, and proceeded to masturbate on the bean bag right next to his bed! He was masturbating a mere 2 feet away from his sleeping son!

My friend never actually confronted his dad about this. We give him hell about it all the time.

marden · Mar 3, 2007, 07:17 PM

Originally Posted by jokell82

Psh, that's nothing. A friend of mine had something MUCH worse happen to him growing up. He was home sick for about a week, so the family had moved the one TV in the house into his room. One night he woke up to the sound of his TV being on - his dad had snuck into his room while he was sleeping, turned on cinemax, and proceeded to masturbate on the bean bag right next to his bed! He was masturbating a mere 2 feet away from his sleeping son!

My friend never actually confronted his dad about this. We give him hell about it all the time.

Time to lock the thread. Ewwwwww.

SirCastor · Mar 3, 2007, 07:32 PM

I was once renting from an old guy. I lived in a room above the Garage. One time he had the windows replaced in the whole house (except my room) and he couldn't deal with the fumes. I found him asleep in my room. I was horrified. I was seriously getting sick over this guy being in my Bed. When I realized that he hadn't used my sheets, blankets, or pillow, I was much relieved.

A person's room, and especially their bed is a personal space. When someone decides to violate that space it's rough. I sympathize with this kid.

marden · Mar 3, 2007, 08:00 PM

Originally Posted by SirCastor

I was once renting from an old guy. I lived in a room above the Garage. One time he had the windows replaced in the whole house (except my room) and he couldn't deal with the fumes. I found him asleep in my room. I was horrified. I was seriously getting sick over this guy being in my Bed. When I realized that he hadn't used my sheets, blankets, or pillow, I was much relieved.

A person's room, and especially their bed is a personal space. When someone decides to violate that space it's rough. I sympathize with this kid.

What about staying in a hotel/motel?

SirCastor · Mar 3, 2007, 08:11 PM

Originally Posted by marden

What about staying in a hotel/motel?

A hotel room is not mine. That's the problem. I don't have a problem with sleeping on a couch that someone else has slept on. When I was 17, a friend of mine had sex with some girl on my couch. I still sat on the Couch. It wasn't my personal space. My bed is my space. I have ownership in it. When someone abuses that space it's a personal violation.

marden · Mar 3, 2007, 08:20 PM

Originally Posted by SirCastor

A hotel room is not mine. That's the problem. I don't have a problem with sleeping on a couch that someone else has slept on. When I was 17, a friend of mine had sex with some girl on my couch. I still sat on the Couch. It wasn't my personal space. My bed is my space. I have ownership in it. When someone abuses that space it's a personal violation.

'Viva la difference' I guess.

Chuckit · Mar 3, 2007, 08:22 PM

Originally Posted by SirCastor

A hotel room is not mine. That's the problem. I don't have a problem with sleeping on a couch that someone else has slept on. When I was 17, a friend of mine had sex with some girl on my couch. I still sat on the Couch. It wasn't my personal space. My bed is my space. I have ownership in it. When someone abuses that space it's a personal violation.

So if you just sit on it, that's fine, it's communal space — but if you put your back on it, it somehow becomes more yours?

SirCastor · Mar 3, 2007, 08:42 PM

Originally Posted by Chuckit

So if you just sit on it, that's fine, it's communal space — but if you put your back on it, it somehow becomes more yours?

I'm not pretending that this is anything more than psychological. I have things that are important to me, I suspect that most people share a lot of the same concepts as I do regarding that. We have things which are ours. To me, my bed is mine. If I choose to share it with someone that's my choice. If someone however, chooses to take my bed, it's violating my space.

In some ways I would liken it to reading a diary or rummaging through private things. The contents are not so important as the concept of privacy, or personal space.

aristotles · Mar 3, 2007, 10:13 PM

This is a perfect example of what is wrong with Anglo-saxon society. You people are so sexually repressed and perverted at the same time. It is really quite sad how you have managed to turn something that is natural and healthy (sex) into something dirty and taboo. Sex is normal and healthy folks. It saddens me that all this sexual repression combined with all the porno out there has twisted everyone's minds so badly.

I think it was an invasion of the 16 year old's privacy to use the room but beyond that, that kid needs some therapy for all the damage caused by society's unhealthy attitude towards sex and sexuality.

besson3c · Mar 3, 2007, 10:41 PM

Welcome back Marden! I missed you... Please do not leave again.

marden · 11:46 PM

Originally Posted by besson3c

Welcome back Marden! I missed you... Please do not leave again.

Thanks. I missed you, too! I hope I'll be around for a long while.

Marine #1: Gunney, I think Profile is dead.

Marine #2: Don't let him die, Gunney.

Gunney Highway: That's not up to me.

from, "Heartbreak Ridge"

Rev-O · Mar 3, 2007, 11:46 PM

Originally Posted by aristotles

I think it was an invasion of the 16 year old's privacy to use the room but beyond that, that kid needs some therapy for all the damage caused by society's unhealthy attitude towards sex and sexuality.

Yes caused by society... and by the huge crusty that dad left on the sheets.

OldManMac · Mar 3, 2007, 11:50 PM

Originally Posted by aristotles

This is a perfect example of what is wrong with Anglo-saxon society. You people are so sexually repressed and perverted at the same time. It is really quite sad how you have managed to turn something that is natural and healthy (sex) into something dirty and taboo. Sex is normal and healthy folks. It saddens me that all this sexual repression combined with all the porno out there has twisted everyone's minds so badly.

I think it was an invasion of the 16 year old's privacy to use the room but beyond that, that kid needs some therapy for all the damage caused by society's unhealthy attitude towards sex and sexuality.

The biggest business of the web, and one of the biggest businesses in America is porn.

marden · Mar 3, 2007, 11:50 PM

Originally Posted by Rev-O

Yes caused by society... and by the huge crusty that dad left on the sheets.

I was going to have a cinnamon roll for breakfast tomorrow morning but just thinking about the white creamy/crusty icing on top makes me gag now.

marden · Mar 3, 2007, 11:52 PM

Originally Posted by KarlG

The biggest business of the web, and one of the biggest businesses in America is porn.

Which is better in your opinion, making billions on porn, making billions on drugs or making billions keeping America safe?

OldManMac · Mar 3, 2007, 11:59 PM

Americans are safer from terrorists than they are from almost anything else, inlcuding drugs. More people die annually from drug usage than from terrorism. Far more people are victimized by porn, as approximately 50,000 people are trafficked into the U. S. annually to serve in the sex trade and as slaves. That's another dirty little secret that we don't like to talk about.

marden · Mar 4, 2007, 12:14 AM

Originally Posted by KarlG

Americans are safer from terrorists than they are from almost anything else, inlcuding drugs. More people die annually from drug usage than from terrorism. Far more people are victimized by porn, as approximately 50,000 people are trafficked into the U. S. annually to serve in the sex trade and as slaves. That's another dirty little secret that we don't like to talk about.

You and your OBSESSION with terrorism, I swear!

I was thinking mainly of the military industrial complex.

So which is worse, making billions from porn, drugs or keeping America safe?

besson3c · Mar 4, 2007, 01:17 AM

Thanks Marden, I went so long without my dose of your leading questions.

Say, by the way, if you had to eat dog turds or ice cream, which would you choose?

marden · Mar 4, 2007, 01:51 AM

Originally Posted by besson3c

Thanks Marden, I went so long without my dose of your leading questions.

Say, by the way, if you had to eat dog turds or ice cream, which would you choose?

You mean if they were both cold and creamy looking and had nuts in them?

Or if they were both brown and steaming and had flies landing on them?

You sure do ask tough questions.

I'll have to study the options and answer at a later time.

Parvez · Mar 4, 2007, 02:36 AM

Originally Posted by jokell82

Psh, that's nothing. A friend of mine had something MUCH worse happen to him growing up. He was home sick for about a week, so the family had moved the one TV in the house into his room. One night he woke up to the sound of his TV being on - his dad had snuck into his room while he was sleeping, turned on cinemax, and proceeded to masturbate on the bean bag right next to his bed! He was masturbating a mere 2 feet away from his sleeping son!

My friend never actually confronted his dad about this. We give him hell about it all the time.

Your friend is dumb (forgive me If I am wrong). If I were him then I WOULD NEVER TELL THAT TO ANYONE. It's a shame.. even to tell your friends about it. You know they will laugh about it always.

That's what I think.

analogika · Mar 4, 2007, 03:08 AM

You're dumb if you think it's somehow his fault (and you seem to).

macintologist · Mar 4, 2007, 03:14 AM

Originally Posted by aristotles

This is a perfect example of what is wrong with Anglo-saxon society. You people are so sexually repressed and perverted at the same time. It is really quite sad how you have managed to turn something that is natural and healthy (sex) into something dirty and taboo. Sex is normal and healthy folks. It saddens me that all this sexual repression combined with all the porno out there has twisted everyone's minds so badly.

I think it was an invasion of the 16 year old's privacy to use the room but beyond that, that kid needs some therapy for all the damage caused by society's unhealthy attitude towards sex and sexuality.

I bookmarked this thread just for this quote.

jokell82 · Mar 4, 2007, 07:09 AM

Originally Posted by Parvez

Your friend is dumb (forgive me If I am wrong). If I were him then I WOULD NEVER TELL THAT TO ANYONE. It's a shame.. even to tell your friends about it. You know they will laugh about it always.

That's what I think.

He laughs about it too. He just can't confront his dad about it.

marden · Mar 4, 2007, 10:23 AM

Originally Posted by analogika

You're dumb if you think it's somehow his fault (and you seem to).

When I talked with a friend of mine he said he blamed himself for trusting a confidential matter with someone he thought was a friend and that person announced it at an online forum.

Well, to be honest, he blamed the so-called friend more than he blamed himself. But anyone who knows of his ordeal and then makes the same mistake should blame themselves.

I learned from his lesson and no longer trust ANYONE.

rickey939 · Mar 4, 2007, 10:35 AM

Originally Posted by Ghoser777

How did he find out?

I'm guessing he has a blacklight in his room.

marden · Mar 4, 2007, 10:58 AM

Originally Posted by rickey939

I'm guessing he has a blacklight in his room.

Why would a kid who wasn't smoking pot even have such a thing as a blacklight? And how would he know that dried crusty stains luminesce under a blacklight? And how would he know what those dried crusty stains actually were in the first place? And aren't there OTHER things that glow in the light that are perfectly non-ewwwy?

jokell82 · Mar 4, 2007, 11:04 AM

Originally Posted by marden

Why would a kid who wasn't smoking pot even have such a thing as a blacklight? And how would he know that dried crusty stains luminesce under a blacklight? And how would he know what those dried crusty stains actually were in the first place? And aren't there OTHER things that glow in the light that are perfectly non-ewwwy?

Do you know this kid personally to know he wasn't a pot smoker?

And btw, you know that quote isn't actually from Dakar, right? It's from realultimatepower...

finboy · Mar 4, 2007, 11:10 AM

Originally Posted by aristotles

I think it was an invasion of the 16 year old's privacy to use the room but beyond that, that kid needs some therapy for all the damage caused by society's unhealthy attitude towards sex and sexuality.

See, that's part of the problem right there. Our "repressed" society needs to make sure something is clear -- a 16-year old living at home has no right to privacy. None. The REAL problem is how he/she found out; why were the folks bragging about it? That's not anyone's business except theirs.

rickey939 · Mar 4, 2007, 11:16 AM

Originally Posted by marden

Why would a kid who wasn't smoking pot even have such a thing as a blacklight? And how would he know that dried crusty stains luminesce under a blacklight? And how would he know what those dried crusty stains actually were in the first place? And aren't there OTHER things that glow in the light that are perfectly non-ewwwy?

CSI is a very popular TV show.

Randman · Mar 4, 2007, 11:29 AM

Unless the kid was there, big deal. Wash the sheets junior.

Chuckit · Mar 4, 2007, 12:01 PM

Originally Posted by marden

When I talked with a friend of mine he said he blamed himself for trusting a confidential matter with someone he thought was a friend and that person announced it at an online forum.

Well, to be honest, he blamed the so-called friend more than he blamed himself. But anyone who knows of his ordeal and then makes the same mistake should blame themselves.

I learned from his lesson and no longer trust ANYONE.

How could this happen to me? / I've made my mistakes / Got nowhere to run / Life goes on / As I'm fading away / I'm sick of this life / I just want to scream / How could this happen to me?

Stogieman · Mar 4, 2007, 12:20 PM

This kid shouldn't feel like he's scarred for life. There are things much worse in this world than finding out your parents had sex in your room. Try masturbating to porn on your computer, in your dorm room, with headphones on, while your buddies sneak up on you and get the whole thing on tape. Like this poor guy:

DJ Diddles - NSFW

marden · Mar 4, 2007, 01:01 PM

Originally Posted by jokell82

Do you know this kid personally to know he wasn't a pot smoker?

And btw, you know that quote isn't actually from Dakar, right? It's from realultimatepower...

The actual quote at the page seems to be missing from The Official Ninja Webpage:� REAL Ultimate Power!!!!. How do we know that the realultimatepower kid isn't actually Dakar?

Ninjas Are So Sweet…
January 25, 2006 on 10:28 pm | In Humor, Personal |

A bunch of years ago Justin, Greg, and I discovered Real Ultimate Power. This is the official ninja homepage. From the site:

Facts:
1. Ninjas are mammals.
2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.

Some various great quotes:

Ninjas cut off heads ALL the time and don’t even think twice about it. […]

Ninjas are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. […] I love ninjas with all of my body (including my pee pee). […]

Then the ninja woman has to battle the boss dog. The boss dog is huge. Before the boss dog can attack, she uppercuts the boss dog’s nuts so hard that the boss explodes. Then the guitar squeals REALLY hard and explodes. […]

I thought of this script right before bedtime. I got so pumped I almost kicked my mom right in the face! […]

There is more sweetness there, but you’ll have to experience it for yourself. If there is a site that is more sweet than this, let me know, but beware, a ninja might flip out and kick your mom in the head!

No Sheep � Ninjas Are So Sweet…

(The above text is from someone else who thought the realultimatepower site was funny. Apparently many others have enjoyed that quote of Dakar's, er realultimatepower kid.

)

Or, how do we know that the realultimatepower guy didn't copy Dakar?

And I wasn't saying I knew the kid wasn't a pot smoker. I was saying that he SHOULDN'T be one and if he IS then that's just one more terrible problem with this whole matter.

marden · Mar 4, 2007, 01:06 PM

Originally Posted by finboy

See, that's part of the problem right there. Our "repressed" society needs to make sure something is clear -- a 16-year old living at home has no right to privacy. None. The REAL problem is how he/she found out; why were the folks bragging about it? That's not anyone's business except theirs.

I COULD NOT AGREE WITH YOU ANY MORE!!!

Your post is sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I love your attitude with all of my body (including my pee pee).

marden · Mar 4, 2007, 01:10 PM

Originally Posted by rickey939

CSI is a very popular TV show.

CBS' most watched show.

I haven't watched ONE episode yet.

Not one.

I suspect it will be like Columbo for me. After it goes off the air I will become a HUGE fan.

marden · Mar 4, 2007, 01:11 PM

Originally Posted by Randman

Unless the kid was there, big deal. Wash the sheets junior.

+1 See my reply to finboy!

marden · Mar 4, 2007, 01:15 PM

Originally Posted by Chuckit

How could this happen to me? / I've made my mistakes / Got nowhere to run / Life goes on / As I'm fading away / I'm sick of this life / I just want to scream / How could this happen to me?

What are those? Are you trying to get our opinion of titles you're thinking of for your autobiography?

They are all pretty depressing. Put on a happy face

and try again.

besson3c · Mar 4, 2007, 07:04 PM

Hey Marden,

What were you doing during your period of hiatus? Why did you leave us?

Tell us a story?

mac128k-1984 · Mar 4, 2007, 07:19 PM

Originally Posted by besson3c

What were you doing during your period of hiatus? Tell us a story?

jumping his wife's bones in his son's bedroom

marden · Mar 4, 2007, 07:48 PM

Originally Posted by besson3c

Hey Marden,

What were you doing during your period of hiatus? Why did you leave us?

Tell us a story?

Originally Posted by mac128k-1984

jumping his wife's bones in his son's bedroom

I like that answer.

besson3c · Mar 4, 2007, 08:05 PM

Marden:

Please tell me what I should be afraid of now? With you gone, I was at a loss... This one time, this snake jumped out of a can and I freaked out. Plus, there's this janitor at work that always talks to me when he empties my trash. I'm ready to be a Republican now, please help straighten me out so that I know what's what. When are we going to be attacked, by what, and how should I prepare myself?

marden · Mar 4, 2007, 10:48 PM

Originally Posted by besson3c

Marden:

Please tell me what I should be afraid of now? With you gone, I was at a loss... This one time, this snake jumped out of a can and I freaked out. Plus, there's this janitor at work that always talks to me when he empties my trash. I'm ready to be a Republican now, please help straighten me out so that I know what's what. When are we going to be attacked, by what, and how should I prepare myself?

Well, this isn't the PWL but here's a clue.

If the Iranians can simultaneously launch dozens of mach 3 wave skimming cruise missiles at our carriers in the gulf before our aegis and/or phalanx defensive measures can gear up and track them, then we are looking at the greatest ambush in the history of the world. Thousands of sailors and naval aviators would be lost and all our troops on the ground in the M.E. will be vulnerable.

The Sunburn missiles can reach our ships in about 90 seconds. The tracking and targeting process for our systems may take longer than 90 seconds.

The Iranians know this.

There.

Sleep tight.