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new geeky joke
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: California
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Q: What did the modem say when nobody delivered it?
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Baninated
Join Date: May 2005
Location: England
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Posting Junkie
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: 888500128
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Korea
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How many members of a certain demographic group does it take to perform a specified task? A finite number: one to perform the task, and an additional number to act in a manner stereotypical of the group to which they belong.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: eating kernel
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Originally Posted by Tiresias 
How many members of a certain demographic group does it take to perform a specified task? A finite number: one to perform the task, and an additional number to act in a manner stereotypical of the group to which they belong.
I heard this on Family Guy: "How may monkeys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 3. 1 monkey to screw in the light bulb and 2 monkeys to throw feces at each other! <insert Peter laugh here>"
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Signature depreciated.
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Korea
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Originally Posted by C.A.T.S. CEO
I heard this on Family Guy: "How may monkeys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 3. 1 monkey to screw in the light bulb and 2 monkeys to throw feces at each other! <insert Peter laugh here>"
How many Hebrew prophets does it take to bake a loaf of bread? Oh, forget it...
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: London, UK
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Originally Posted by brassplayersrock
Q: What did the modem say when nobody delivered it?
Worst. Joke. Ever.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: "Working"
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Originally Posted by brassplayersrock
Q: What did the modem say when nobody delivered it?
What is this from? I swear I heard someone say it last week somewhere...
Originally Posted by Tiresias
How many members of a certain demographic group does it take to perform a specified task? A finite number: one to perform the task, and an additional number to act in a manner stereotypical of the group to which they belong.
THAT is a good joke!
Originally Posted by C.A.T.S. CEO
I heard this on Family Guy: "How may monkeys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 3. 1 monkey to screw in the light bulb and 2 monkeys to throw feces at each other! <insert Peter laugh here>"
It's better in context and stated correctly. It had something to do with Peter saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. The scene is he's caught in a net with some Planets of the Apes apes surrounding him pointing guns at him. Then he says, "How many dirty, stinkin apes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One dirty, stinkin ape to screw in the light bulb, and two dirty, stinkin apes to throw feces at each other!" The the apes cock their guns.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: eating kernel
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Originally Posted by Gossamer
It's better in context and stated correctly. It had something to do with Peter saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. The scene is he's caught in a net with some Planets of the Apes apes surrounding him pointing guns at him. Then he says, "How many dirty, stinkin apes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One dirty, stinkin ape to screw in the light bulb, and two dirty, stinkin apes to throw feces at each other!" The the apes cock their guns.
sorry, I could only remember the joke, not the whole scene 
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Signature depreciated.
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Korea
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Originally Posted by C.A.T.S. CEO
sorry, I could only remember the joke, not the whole scene
I liked the money faeces joke but I hate Family Guy. Too many stupid cut-aways.
Oh, and why do men die before their wives? They want to.
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Korea
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Originally Posted by Gossamer
THAT is a good joke!
It's my favourite at the moment.
There's more stuff like that here:
Meta-joke - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Like this one:
An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this—some kind of joke?"
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: in a weapons producing nation under Jesus
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Originally Posted by Tiresias
I liked the money faeces joke but I hate Family Guy. Too many stupid cut-aways.
Oh, and why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Thats the best part of the show!!!
and your joke made me spit out my drink!!
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Posting Junkie
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: 888500128
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Originally Posted by Tiresias
How many members of a certain demographic group does it take to perform a specified task? A finite number: one to perform the task, and an additional number to act in a manner stereotypical of the group to which they belong.
That sounds like what the English would imagine a popular German joke to be.
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Korea
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Originally Posted by analogika
That sounds like what the English would imagine a popular German joke to be.
Yes, now that you mention it, the joke is even funnier if you imagine it being said by Rainier Wolfcastle—or better, McBain. At the end of the joke he adds: "LAAAUGH!"
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Vacation.
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Originally Posted by analogika
That sounds like what the English would imagine a popular German joke to be.
The Germans have jokes?
You asked for that one. 
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Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: San Diego, CA, USA
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Originally Posted by analogika
That sounds like what the English would imagine a popular German joke to be.
This post made me laugh harder than any of the others in this thread.
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Chuck
___
"Instead of either 'multi-talented' or 'multitalented' use 'bisexual'."
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Posting Junkie
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: 888500128
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Originally Posted by Doofy
The Germans have jokes?
You asked for that one.
Actually, I'd already brought that one myself. But yes, it was there for your edification. 
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: California
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so:
A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman then responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working fine."
and
"Tech Support: "All right...now double-click on the File Manager icon." Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows -- because of the icons -- I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons." Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't believe it was meant to -- "Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'. I don't believe in icons." Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture' of a file cabinet...is 'little picture' ok?" Customer: [click]"
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Korea
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Originally Posted by brassplayersrock
"Tech Support: "All right...now double-click on the File Manager icon." Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows -- because of the icons -- I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons." Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't believe it was meant to -- "Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'. I don't believe in icons." Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture' of a file cabinet...is 'little picture' ok?" Customer: [click]"
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