[Atheist]

I have been very fortunate in my life and through hard work have done well for myself financially. Through my work I have travelled all over the world and as I type this am living on a tropical island. (Granted I would prefer to be living back in the States but that's a different issue). My friends and family have all done well in their lives however none have had the opportunities and experiences that I have had. I sometimes feel guilty when I think of the places I gone or the things I've done. I think of my family back home and wish they could be with me. It's gotten to the point now that I don't even tell them about some of the things I'm doing. Is this rational?

[Doofy]

Perfectly rational. I've certainly withheld information from old (and still poor) friends so as to not annoy them.

Don't feel guilty. Just get on with it. If they ask, they ask. If they don't then there's no need to rub their faces in it.

[hayesk]

If you achieved success from working hard and didn't exploit people along the way, then you shouldn't feel guilty. Tell your family about the things you get to do - if they're not proud of you, then they have a problem, not you.

If you do feel guilty, you could also do something for your family. If you are doing well financially, and your family is not, do something that will pay off for them - contribute to their retirement fund, help pay down their mortgage, etc.

[smacintush]

Sometimes when we feel guilt it IS justified. Perhaps there is something different you need to do with your life? Money and travel is very compelling but there are far more important and fulfilling things to pursue.

Why can't your family be with you? Why don't you go be with them? Could you be doing more to help others? (rhetorical questions BTW)

[mindwaves]

Yeah, I think it is fine as long as you don't rub it in their faces with your achievements or way of life. I am much of the same way. I have been honored with many academic achievements and when I get another award/certificate, I usually don't mention it anymore.

[Timo]

Feeling guilty is not productive. But God knows we could all do with more humility.

[imitchellg5]

You should feel guilty. You should send all of your money to me . No, don't feel guilty unless you rub it in to everyone.

[wallinbl]

Don't feel guilty - just be humble.

Oh, and give some money to charity. This world has a lot of problems, and if you have the means to help with some of them, then please do.

[Buckaroo]

Originally Posted by Atheist 

I have been very fortunate in my life and through hard work have done well for myself financially. Through my work I have travelled all over the world and as I type this am living on a tropical island. (Granted I would prefer to be living back in the States but that's a different issue). My friends and family have all done well in their lives however none have had the opportunities and experiences that I have had. I sometimes feel guilty when I think of the places I gone or the things I've done. I think of my family back home and wish they could be with me. It's gotten to the point now that I don't even tell them about some of the things I'm doing. Is this rational?

What is it that you did, that made you wealthy and why can't you return to the states?

You're not one of those email spammers are you?

[Tiresias]

Originally Posted by Buckaroo 

Your not one of those email spammers are you?

your = belonging to or associated with the person or people that the speaker is addressing : what's your name?

you're = contraction of you are : you're an angel, Deb!

[lpkmckenna]

Originally Posted by Hank Rearden

I work for nothing but my own profit - which I make by selling a product they need to men who are willing and able to buy it. I do not produce it for their benefit at the expense of mine, and they do not buy it for my benefit at the expense of theirs; I do not sacrifice my interests to them nor do they sacrifice theirs to me; we deal as equals by mutual consent to mutual advantage - and I am proud of every penny that I have earned in this manner. I am rich and I am proud of every penny I own.

I made my money by my own effort, in free exchange and through the voluntary consent of every man I dealt with - voluntary consent of those who employed me when I started, the voluntary consent of those who work for me now, the voluntary consent of those who buy my product.

I shall answer all the questions you are afraid to ask me openly. Do I wish to pay my workers more than their services are worth to me? I do not. Do I wish to sell my product for less than my customers are willing to pay me? I do not. Do I wish to sell it at a loss or give it away? I do not. If this is evil, do whatever you please about me, according to whatever standards you hold. These are mine. I am earning my own living, as every honest man must.

I refuse to accept as guilt the fact of my own existence and the fact that I must work in order to support it. I refuse to accept as guilt the fact that I am able to do it better than most people - the fact that my work is of greater value than the work of my neighbours and that more men are willing to pay me. I refuse to apologise for my ability - I refuse to apologise for my success - I refuse to apologise for my money. If this is evil, make the most of it. If this is what the public finds harmful to its interests, let the public destroy me. This is my code - and I will accept no other.

I could say to you that I have done more good for my fellow men than you can ever hope to accomplish - but I will not say it, because I do not seek the good of others as a sanction for my right to exist, nor do I recognise the good of others as a justification for their seizure of my property or their destruction of my life. I will not say that the good of others was the purpose of my work - my own good was my purpose, and I despise the man who surrenders his. I could say to you that you do not serve the public good - that nobody's good can be achieved at the price of human sacrifices - that when you violate the rights of one man, you have violated the right of all, and a public of rightless creatures is doomed to destruction. I could say to you that you will and can achieve nothing but universal devastation - as any looter must, when he runs out of victims. I could say it, but I won't. It is not your particular policy that I challenge, but your moral premise.

If it were true that men could achieve their good by means of turning some men into sacrificial animals, and I were asked to immolate myself for the sake of creatures who wanted to survive at the price of my blood, if I were asked to serve the interests of society apart from, above and against my own - I would refuse. I would reject it as the most contemptible evil, I would fight it with every power I possess, I would fight the whole of mankind, if one minute were all I could last before I were murdered, I would fight in the full confidence of the justice of my battle and of a living being's right to exist. Let there be no misunderstanding about me. If it is now the belief of my fellow men, who call themselves the public, that their good requires victims, then I say: The public good be damned, I will have no part of it!

Seemed relevant.

The other posters are right about not rubbing it in the faces of others. Just don't feel guilty about your success.

[Gossamer]

Originally Posted by lpkmckenna 

Seemed relevant.

The other posters are right about not rubbing it in the faces of others. Just don't feel guilty about your success.

That's some good stuff.

[Zeeb]

Originally Posted by Atheist 

I have been very fortunate in my life and through hard work have done well for myself financially. Through my work I have travelled all over the world and as I type this am living on a tropical island. (Granted I would prefer to be living back in the States but that's a different issue). My friends and family have all done well in their lives however none have had the opportunities and experiences that I have had. I sometimes feel guilty when I think of the places I gone or the things I've done. I think of my family back home and wish they could be with me. It's gotten to the point now that I don't even tell them about some of the things I'm doing. Is this rational?

Never feel guilty about being happy. Just enjoy it while you have it--you never know when it might end.

[alligator]

Are you living on the island, or marooned?

[Mastrap]

It's a matter of tact. We have friends who currently earn considerably less than we do, but that does not mean that they are in any way less successful. They just have chosen a path, i.e one is a social worker, another a writer, another an artist, that bring them great personal satisfaction but less disposable income. Two of our friends have given up extremely well paid job to go back to school and work on art MAs. They're putting their sense of curiosity above their desire to earn a large income.

We don't make excuses for our new car or the long weekend away the same way they don't make excuses about their latest commission, their articles that have finally made it into a national paper or their generous holiday allowance. We, discreetly, have a tendency to bring an extra bottle of wine sometimes, but they more than do their share whenever, and however, they can.

[wallinbl]

We have several friends that have literally hundreds of millions of dollars. I've known them for 15 years. My wife has known them for 8 (since we were married, basically). I recently told her that one of them had started a business and later sold it for $375 million. She was astonished, because if you know them, you'd have no idea. They have a nice house and nice cars and whatnot, but just hanging out with them and watching they way they act, you'd never have a clue. They act just like the rest of our friends. I haven't told her about any of the others that have that much money, and I would bet that if I asked her to name which three of our friends had hundreds of millions, she couldn't guess them.

Do I think any of them feel guilty? Not at all. The shouldn't feel guilty, either.

[RAILhead]

Rational. Most people in our group of peers have no idea how well off we are, simply because some people don't understand that money isn't everything.

[design219]

Are you happy?

[RAILhead]

Who? Me? Yes, very, thanks for asking.

[Zeeb]

Originally Posted by RAILhead 

Rational. Most people in our group of peers have no idea how well off we are, simply because some people don't understand that money isn't everything.

You saying this seems to be a contradiction. You've spent a great deal of time on the forum justifying how important it was for you to make your fortune early so that you could live the way you do now. A lot of your posts have to deal with money and how you have criticized how other people view it. If there is anyone who is a fan of money and its importance, I would say it would be you.

[RAILhead]

There's nothing wrong with being a fan of money -- it's what you do with it and how you choose to let it define you. Money is merely a tool. I made it a point to amass it quickly and early to save and give, and that's what we do. Our peers don't know our bank roll, and that was my point.

[Mastrap]

Originally Posted by RAILhead 

There's nothing wrong with being a fan of money -- it's what you do with it and how you choose to let it define you. Money is merely a tool. I made it a point to amass it quickly and early to save and give, and that's what we do. Our peers don't know our bank roll, and that was my point.

Still you have made a point of making it clear in this forum that you're reasonably well off. Understand that this is no criticism, I agree with you about the value of money - money buys you options - but for somebody who states that money doesn't mean much to him you tend to make it a matter of public record just how well off you are.

So your peers in you real life might not know your bankroll, but hundreds of internet strangers do.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Mastrap 

Still you have made a point of making it clear in this forum that you're reasonably well off. Understand that this is no criticism, I agree with you about the value of money - money buys you options - but for somebody who states that money doesn't mean much to him you tend to make it a matter of public record just how well off you are.

For the record, I've never noticed Rail going on about how much money he has. Perhaps this is reader perception in action?

Originally Posted by Mastrap 

So your peers in you real life might not know your bankroll, but hundreds of internet strangers do.

See above, but even if we did know Rail's net worth, that's what you guys are here for - talking about stuff which may not get talked about in everyday life - no?

[Mastrap]

Originally Posted by Doofy 

For the record, I've never noticed Rail going on about how much money he has. Perhaps this is reader perception in action?

Nope. Rail has made it very clear, on numerous occasions, that he's very well off. Remember, I wasn't criticizing, what the man chooses to make public about himself is none of my business. I was just idly wondering, the way a man does in the evening when he's nursing a beer and half watching the TV.

[RAILhead]

Why is this such a hard concept for people to grasp? My wife means a lot to me. My family means a lot to me. My Faith means a lot to me. Money? I use it to work with the things that mean a lot to me: family and Faith. Simple. Just because a person works hard to achieve a certain financial position, that doesn't mean said person thinks their life revolves around how much money they have.

And yeah, to put it like Doofy: none of my peers are reading MacNN Forums.

[Mastrap]

nm.

[OwlBoy]

Originally Posted by wallinbl 

Don't feel guilty - just be humble.

Oh, and give some money to charity. This world has a lot of problems, and if you have the means to help with some of them, then please do.

What he said.

-Owl

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Mastrap 

Remember, I wasn't criticizing, what the man chooses to make public about himself is none of my business. I was just idly wondering, the way a man does in the evening when he's nursing a beer and half watching the TV.

No worries. I wasn't angling for an argument - just stating my observations, the way a man does in the early hours when he's nursing a Horlicks and drying off from a late night bath.

[smacintush]

I think it's wrong to simply say that he shouldn't feel guilty. I mean, I don't think that he should, but I also don't think that I could say that he shouldn't.

I think that it depends upon the person's situation. Merely being wealthy shouldn't make one guilty but how attains their wealth or what one does with their wealth may. However, even if Atheist had gotten his money illicitly and was selfish I still wouldn't say that he should. That's up to him and his conscience.

I also think that people may sometimes feel guilt undeservedly because of societal pressure, family/peer pressure etc. I think that is wrong too.

What I am saying is that he needs to look within himself and really discover why he feels guilty. It may be that he keeps to himself because he doesn't want to share his success with his family. Or maybe he just feels guilty for allowing himself to alienate himself from them. Who know? (well, HE knows…)

I think that as a rule, there are NO WRONG FEELINGS. It's what you do with them and how you let them affect your actions that matters. An obvious example is that I bet that a lot of us ,even for a brief moment, has thought about murdering someone. I know I have, and I don't feel ashamed or regretful for it. But to act on that feeling is another matter. The problem is that when we dismiss our feelings or feel bad for having certain feelings it can keep us from exploring them. That's a problem, because usually your feelings have causes that need to be explored and understood.

[PER3]

Originally Posted by alligator 

Are you living on the island, or moranned?

T,FTFY