[marden]

How Do You Maintain The Spark In Your Relationship?

I like this one because it bypasses thought processing and goes straight to the biology.

Create Intimate Time

Before rushing out the door in a frenzy, get up one hour earlier with your partner and have breakfast in bed, read an inspirational passage aloud, hold each other and whisper sweet nothings into each others ears, go for an early walk, give each other a massage, make love, take a shower together. Give your partner a 20 second kiss when they walk in the door or are leaving for the day.

http://vs03.tvsecure.com/~vs03112/gr...mancealive.htm

Try it and you'll see!

What do you do to keep the passion alive?

[centerchannel68]

That is ****ing retarded. I am a zombie til 10am. I hate using all the powertools at school in the morning, I'm afraid I'm going to lose a hand or something.

As for the topic:



haha. Joking.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by marden 

What do you do to keep the passion alive?

I change the litter tray every morning*, whether it needs it or not.



(* Doof morning = about 1 pm)

[marden]

Originally Posted by Doofy 

I change the litter tray every morning*, whether it needs it or not.



(* Doof morning = about 1 pm)

Hmmm...

1. Puss* joke?
2. Cat lover?
3. The feline in your life is your one TRUE love?
4. You've sworn off women?
5. The human female(s) in your life HATE the cat box smell and emptying it once a day is the key to keeping her/them happy and a happy woman/women = lotsa sparking?

I'm guessing #5.

[besson3c]

kitchen pooping

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by marden 

5. The human female(s) in your life HATE the cat box smell and emptying it once a day is the key to keeping her/them happy and a happy woman/women = lotsa sparking?

I'm guessing #5.

Are you saying that my kitties' poop smells bad? That's fighting talk!

[Doofy]

OK, seriously...

...I'm working off a seven-year stint here:

1) Retain some mystery. While it may seem intimate and open, do not go poopie in front of each other.

2) Turn the TV off.

3) Cuddles.

4) Actually genuinely have the hots for each other to start with. Too many people settle because they don't want to be alone.

5) Compare with other totty to remind yourself that she's hot.

6) There is no rule six.

[marden]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

kitchen pooping

Would I have to apologize if I began calling you Poopeye?

[marden]

Originally Posted by Doofy 

Are you saying that my kitties' poop smells bad? That's fighting talk!

The pee is just as bad.

I LOVE kitties and doggies but...

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by marden 

Would I have to apologize if I began calling you Poopeye?

You haven't even apologized for calling me a gadfly! What kind of talk is this?

[Mark Larr]

I'm getting divorced and have a girlfriend that is lightyears better than my wife ever could have been.

[Mastrap]

Did you think that when you were first dating your wife?

[zerostar]

I remember to try to do little things to show her how much I love her.

Don't be afraid to get kinky in your love life, you may be surprised how much he/she likes it. Show her/him how sexy you think they are, you are with them for many reasons, but part of that is because you were attracted to them, remember that and show it, after 7 years you tend to forget to let them know

Respect, respect, respect. Your partner is important to you and what they do and who they are should be as well, don't ever forget that. The whole "good and bad times" thing is important here.

Show them you care about them and their feelings, even in the mundane things in life. Record the game and take them to go see a movie or something you both like to do, after all they are more important to you then sports right...

[marden]

Originally Posted by Mastrap 

Did you think that when you were first dating your wife?

People grow apart. When you change as most people do until they reach their 30's or so, everything becomes slightly different every few years. Few relationships will survive too many fundamental changes. That's why older marriages are better. People have stopped growing as much or as quickly. They know themselves better.

If your goal is to have a long lasting relationship then that's one thing. In that case you should just endure all the trials and tribulations and subvert your own happiness so that you can have the attitude that will make continuing the relationship possible without wanting to scream every moment. (Have you heard about the guy in Texas who shot and killed his wife and called 911 and when they asked if she was dead, he asked her, "are you dead?" All because they stayed together and he finally got fed up and she nagged him once too often, albeit while he was drunk.)

But if your goal is to be able to find happiness you can't have that same attitude. A relationship that 'fit' when you were still growing as a person won't necessarily fit after you have grown.

I once knew a woman who I enjoyed only for sex. I eventually wanted more. She was happy with how things were. It took a loooooong time for her to get to the point where I was where we BOTH realized what we had once had passed. We were once comfy shoes, left and right. Now, for each other we are both shoes that are too small for the other's feet.

[marden]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

You haven't even apologized for calling me a gadfly! What kind of talk is this?

Want to bet?

[Dakar²]

Originally Posted by marden 

How Do You Maintain The Spark In Your Relationship?

Wet sponges hooked up to a car battery.

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by marden 

Want to bet?

I need proof that you apologized, a smoking gun...


Although I don't want you to smoke my gun.

[Mark Larr]

Originally Posted by Mastrap 

Did you think that when you were first dating your wife?

I don't really remember what I was thinking, but she did show signs of being bi-polar.

It slowly got worse until it was intolerable and she got violent.


Took 12 years, kinda like boiling a frog.

[marden]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

I need proof that you apologized, a smoking gun...

If you were really interested in having my apology you would have caught it the FIRST time around! Hmpf!

You just love to have me apologize all the time. Apologize for this. Apologize for THAT! Every day. Soon you'll want me to apologize in every thread!

No way! Oh say, can you see if you can find the one you already squandered, yourself? Seeing as how it means so 'mush' to you. *Ahem*

[Dakar²]

Originally Posted by marden 

You just love to have me apologize all the time. Apologize for this. Apologize for THAT! Every day. Soon you'll want me to apologize in every thread!

Who is he, Kevin?

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by marden 

If you were really interested in having my apology you would have caught it the FIRST time around! Hmpf!

You just love to have me apologize all the time. Apologize for this. Apologize for THAT! Every day. Soon you'll want me to apologize in every thread!

No way! Oh say can you look for the one that you already squandered, yourself? Seeing as how it means so 'mush' to you. *Ahem*

I don't appreciate these accusations. You never apologized to me, since if you did it would be very easy to point me to the post in which you apologized and be done with it.

I think you owe me an apology for these false allegations.

[marden]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

I need proof that you apologized, a smoking gun...


Although I don't want you to smoke my gun.

If you can't trust me that I already apologized then any apology I could produce from the files of gads gone by would ring as hollow as an empty gun that has shot all it's rounds.

[marden]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

I don't appreciate these accusations. You never apologized to me, since if you did it would be very easy to point me to the post in which you apologized and be done with it.

I think you owe me an apology for these false allegations.

I think you owe ME an apology for these false accusations!

[besson3c]

Do you even know what you were supposedly apologizing for?

[marden]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

Do you even know what you were supposedly apologizing for?

Breathing?

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by marden 

Breathing?

I suggest thinking about this some more. Let me know if you still can't figure it out, but I'll give you a hint: it's for something you said to me which I didn't take to too kindly.

[besson3c]

Maybe your relationships would have more sparks if you didn't hurt the feelings of innocent bystanders?

[marden]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

I suggest thinking about this some more. Let me know if you still can't figure it out, but I'll give you a hint: it's for something you said to me which I didn't take to too kindly.

If I were you I wouldn't get my "to too" all tied up in a snit or a bunch or whatever you do when you kindly take two or more to too's.

[besson3c]

Well played, jerk.

[marden]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

Maybe your relationships would have more sparks if you didn't hurt the feelings of innocent bystanders?

My relationships have lotsa court AND spark. I practice the 20 second kiss! And innocent bystanders can practice the 20 second kiss, as well! And I trust I needn't tell you where they should plant their tulips.

[marden]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

Well played, jerk.

Thanks!

Isn't "Fergalicious" a catchy little number?

I like it.

[centerchannel68]

Well this thread is now ruined.

[KeriVit]

Surprise and compromise are the keys to maintaining a spark in your relationship.

Nothing wrong with a custom CD, an extra kiss, or maybe a special card you make either.

One time, I made a prescription label and filled the bottle with all green m&ms, then made a custom wine label for the dinner I made. Good times.

By compromise I mean that is the best way to avoid the tension that can make sparks disappear.

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by centerchannel68 

Well this thread is now ruined.

There is no such thing as "just add water" solutions to things as complicated as relationships. It is interesting what sorts of ideas people come up with, but they never seem terribly profound to me. You?

[marden]

Originally Posted by centerchannel68 

Well this thread is now ruined.

Teachings

"At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality. Yet once one accepts that trying to unravel these texts without experiencing the intuitions behind them is not satisfactory, it becomes clear that paradox and irrationality are the only means of conveying to the reader those underlying intuitions that would otherwise be impossible to express. Edward Conze succinctly summarized what The Perfection of Wisdom is about, saying, 'The thousands of lines of the Prajñāparamitā can be summed up in the following two sentences:

One should become a bodhisattva (or, Buddha-to-be), i.e. one who is content with nothing less than all-knowledge attained through the perfection of wisdom for the sake of all beings.
There is no such thing as a bodhisattva, or as all-knowledge, or as a 'being', or as the perfection of wisdom, or as an attainment. To accept both of these contradictory facts is to be perfect.'

The central idea of The Perfection of Wisdom is complete release from the world of existence.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfection_of_Wisdom

Where to begin study and practice?

A BAG OF NAILS

Once upon a time there was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he should hammer a nail in the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. But gradually, the number of daily nails dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the first day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He proudly told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.

"You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out, it won't matter how many times you say 'I'm sorry', the wound is still there."

Anger

[marden]

The 20 second kiss will do wonders. Has anyone tried it? Someone else told me that it should ACTUALLY be a 30 Second kiss because the last 10 seconds are only when you give in to the what is of the experience and your juices begin to flow.

[centerchannel68]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

There is no such thing as "just add water" solutions to things as complicated as relationships. It is interesting what sorts of ideas people come up with, but they never seem terribly profound to me. You?

Yeah, seems to me relationships are ... they're like trying to have a happy life. You can't just 'do' something and be happy, it must be around when you're doing everything. Doof, definitely agree about the mystery part. I never even fart in front of Kristin. And, I like going out without her, and with her. It's fun to have your own life, in addition to your life with someone. I think maintaining social things on your own helps keep you balanced, and more interesting to the other person.

[dcmacdaddy]

Originally Posted by KeriVit 

Surprise and compromise are the keys to maintaining a spark in your relationship.

Nothing wrong with a custom CD, an extra kiss, or maybe a special card you make either.

One time, I made a prescription label and filled the bottle with all green m&ms, then made a custom wine label for the dinner I made. Good times.

By compromise I mean that is the best way to avoid the tension that can make sparks disappear.

I like your suggestions; They are thoughtful and playful at the same time.

I did a few things like that for my ex-wife, little gifts with BIG significance to her. But, in the end I was much more of a part-time husband who never understood marriage is a daily occurrence. Plus, our temperaments were out of synch much of the time. She bottled up things and I let them out right away. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

I hope you and your Mrs. have a long, happy, life together. And I might just steal your M&M prescription idea for future use.

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by marden 

Where to begin study and practice?


Anger

Sexism vs. misogynism

I guess, according to the definition, you are more sexist than misogynist. I wish you luck in dealing with this problem.

[marden]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

Sexism vs. misogynism

I guess, according to the definition, you are more sexist than misogynist. I wish you luck in dealing with this problem.

Ok. I have composed a post that addresses your accusations but it is pretty harsh and really would hurt your feelings and I don't want to post it. So please stop calling me names. Ok? You are mistaken in your perceptions and if you'd like to PM me I would be willing to take it up with you then and there.

[besson3c]

Marden,

What could be more clear than this?

Ok. From now on I will treat you the way I would treat a female, not as an equal but as someone who is weaker and less able than the guys here.

This is just intolerable language and actually offensive. I cannot fathom a means in which I've misinterpreted this - you've said that you treat women as weaker and less capable, which obviously reflects what you think of them.

I've kept you off my ignore list because you are entertaining, but now I'm starting to think that perhaps I should deny myself of this pleasure since many of the things you say are so off-putting and depressing... It's sort of like watching obese people watching and getting into an episode of Jerry Springer with Cheetos all over their fingers.

[marden]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

Marden,

What could be more clear than this?



This is just intolerable language and actually offensive. I cannot fathom a means in which I've misinterpreted this - you've said that you treat women as weaker and less capable, which obviously reflects what you think of them.

I've kept you off my ignore list because you are entertaining, but now I'm starting to think that perhaps I should deny myself of this pleasure since many of the things you say are so off-putting and depressing... It's sort of like watching obese people watching and getting into an episode of Jerry Springer with Cheetos all over their fingers.

Answered in the other thread.

[Railroader]

Besson, please stop derailing all of marden's threads! Your fanboi-ism is getting VERY old.

[Mastrap]

n.m.

[KeriVit]

"1001 Ways to Be Romantic" by Gregory Godek.

Yes, there are other valuable means of info other than the internet

[Jawbone54]

Every day pretty much goes like this for me and my wife...

1. Whoever wakes up first rolls over and hugs up to the other.

2. ALWAYS give a long, passionate kiss before we part ways

3. Do something special...and mix it up - For instance, my wife loves white chocolate mochas from Starbucks. I'll pick one up for her at random two or three times a week. Sometimes I'll leave little notes for her (or original poetry, which comes only every two months or so). She's big into keeping the house clean, so I'll also vacuum or Swiffer the floors for her (she notices).

4. When I get home, we give a long, sweet kiss. Putting in a DVD, playing a game, or logging on to MacNN is strictly prohibited during the first 30 minutes to an hour of us both being home. We talk, hug, and plan things together.

5. Showering together, watching a movie on the couch, or going on a date (sometimes on weeknights) around the area are other things we mix up.

There are other things we do, but we've only been married a year so we're still learning.

[ShortcutToMoncton]

Doggie style?

[centerchannel68]

Originally Posted by Jawbone54 

1. Whoever wakes up first rolls over and hugs up to the other.

2. ALWAYS give a long, passionate kiss before we part ways

3. Do something special...and mix it up - For instance, my wife loves white chocolate mochas from Starbucks. I'll pick one up for her at random two or three times a week. Sometimes I'll leave little notes for her (or original poetry, which comes only every two months or so). She's big into keeping the house clean, so I'll also vacuum or Swiffer the floors for her (she notices).

4. When I get home, we give a long, sweet kiss. Putting in a DVD, playing a game, or logging on to MacNN is strictly prohibited during the first 30 minutes to an hour of us both being home. We talk, hug, and plan things together.

5. Showering together, watching a movie on the couch, or going on a date (sometimes on weeknights) around the area are other things we mix up.

There are other things we do, but we've only been married a year so we're still learning.

1. What if the other one is unconccious? (I'm drunk so sorry about spelling I'm pretty hammered)

2. What if the other hasn't brushed their teeth yet?

3. Would you still get her those if she's getting fat? Just wondering.

Kristin isn't getting fat, but I like women that are thinner, so I'm hestitant to bring home too many treats. Especially since she hates running or biking hard, but I love running and biking hard. For 4. and 5. I'm down, kinda similar to around here. Being married is sweet, except she doesn't want to come to house parities that all my 19-21 yr old friends are having. heh. it's kinda funny to go back to school a bit older.

[Dakar²]

Originally Posted by Railroader 

Besson, please stop derailing all of marden's threads! Your fanboi-ism is getting VERY old.

Oddly, you don't see marden complaining.

Mostly because he likes the attention.

[houstonmacbro]

Good sex that we mix up regularly. Noticing the small things that are important to one another. Talking and listening. And doing and discovering new things by not falling into a rut.

It takes work, but it can be done.