[RAILhead]

Holy crap, this is freaking hilarious:

MASON – A Wayne Township volunteer firefighter is scheduled to appear Thursday in Mason Municipal Court on drunken driving and other charges after he was found wearing a woman’s blond wig and bikini in a public park.

Steven S. Cole, 46, Waynesville, was arrested about 5 p.m. Tuesday at Heritage Oak Park off U.S. 42 after Mason police received a report of an intoxicated man. Cole was charged with drunken driving, having an open container, public indecency and disorderly conduct.

He did not respond to calls Wednesday for comment.

Cole was arrested after a Mason father enjoying the balmy spring weather at the park spotted him and called police.

“It was like this freak show,” said Troy Harphant, 35. “I was a little taken by surprise by what I’d seen there. It was out of place with what should have been going on over there, that’s for sure.”

Harphant was at the park with his wife, Wendy, as they watched their daughter, Hayley, 6, zip around on a bike path on her pink Barbie Princess scooter.

At least 100 other adults and children also were at the park, Harphant said.

Harphant said he saw what appeared to be a naked person on the bike path, fondling or exposing himself or herself. The person seemed to be scared off moments later by a jogger.

Harphant then said he saw the bikini-clad person hop into a parked blue Ford F-150 pickup truck with red emergency lights on top and he realized the person was a man.

“My wife said, “It’s a lady,’ and I was like, ‘No, it’s not a lady,’ ” Troy Harphant said.

He then followed the truck as it drove around the park – including by the children’s playground - and called police on his cell phone.

“There’s a man out here dressed up in a wig and women’s two-piece bikini freaking people out in the park,” he told a 911 dispatcher. “It’s inappropriate and I’d like somebody to come check this guy out. The guy is actually trying to leave the park now.”

Mason Police Officer Scott Miller pulled the truck over. His report states: “I observed Cole to be wearing a very skimpy woman’s … bikini with two tan water balloons taped to the top to simulate two woman’s breasts and a pair of pink Speedo flip-flop sandals.”

Cole was unsteady and twice fell against the truck, Miller reported. Cole also fumbled through his wallet and handed him a debit card and a credit card when asked for his driver’s license.

The officer looked through the wallet but could not find his driver’s license, although Cole did provide a Social Security Number.

“I asked Cole what he was doing wearing a woman’s bikini at the park where families frequent,” Miller wrote. “Cole did state he was headed to a ‘gay bar’ in Dayton to perform as a woman for a $10,000 prize."

As the two spoke, Miller reported smelling alcohol on Cole, who also had slurred speech.

Police found an open, half-empty 40-ounce bottle of Budweiser in Cole’s truck. They also found a black gym bag with more blond wigs, women’s bikinis, long silver go-go boots and other women’s garments.

Cole’s blood-alcohol test registered 0.174, more than twice Ohio’s legal limit of 0.08.

Wayne Township officials did not agree to interviews but issued a statement Wednesday saying Cole would be placed on administrative leave while the case continues. Cole has been a volunteer firefighter with the township since August 2000.

“Wayne Township does not condone the accused activities related to this incident,” according to the statement signed by Donald “Gus” Edwards, trustee president, and Fire Chief Paul Scherer. “We expect our employees, that are providing a service to the community, to be good honest, reputable citizens.”

At least he has nice legs?

Link: http://news.cincinnati.com/apps/pbcs...30027/-1/CINCI

[Railroader]

You need some [NOT SAFE FOR VIEW AT ANY LOCATION] in the title. I rarely get embarassed, but I am sitting in the middle of the engineering computer lab at school right now and that picture came up and I couldn't scroll down fast enough.

Oh, and I need eye surgery for the gouging out of my eyes I have to do even with that micro-second glimpse I did have.

[Dakar²]

This thread needs Salt.

[BlueSky]

It was all a gross misunderstanding. I didn't He didn't mean anything by it, he was just a bit snockered and was being initiated into the Patrick Swayze Fan Club.

[BRussell]

Why would you call the police? Wouldn't most people just laugh their asses off?

[torsoboy]

Originally Posted by BRussell 

Why would you call the police? Wouldn't most people just laugh their asses off?

I think the guy that called police said it looked like he was naked and fondling himself on the bike path until he got scared off by a bicyclist, and then went into the bushes before emerging in the bikini. Not so funny when you have little kids on the bike path.

[mitchell_pgh]

Originally Posted by torsoboy 

I think the guy that called police said it looked like he was naked and fondling himself on the bike path until he got scared off by a bicyclist, and then went into the bushes before emerging in the bikini. Not so funny when you have little kids on the bike path.

I would chalk it up to a life lesson. "See kids, that's what happens when you drink too much"

[torsoboy]

Originally Posted by mitchell_pgh 

I would chalk it up to a life lesson. "See kids, that's what happens when you drink too much"

He was also publicly intoxicated and getting into a truck with twice the legal limit of alcohol in his system. You should report anyone that is drunk and then attempt to drive off... many deaths are caused by drunk drivers.

[climber]

Originally Posted by Railroader 

You need some [NOT SAFE FOR VIEW AT ANY LOCATION] in the title. I rarely get embarassed, but I am sitting in the middle of the engineering computer lab at school right now and that picture came up and I couldn't scroll down fast enough.

Oh, and I need eye surgery for the gouging out of my eyes I have to do even with that micro-second glimpse I did have.

What did you expect given the title of this thread? A cute female firefighter that appeared in Playboy?

[G4ME]

Originally Posted by torsoboy 

many deaths are caused by drunk drivers who don't know how to drive.

fixed

[highstakes]

wow that was disturbing :|

[Rumor]

Originally Posted by torsoboy 

many deaths are caused by drunk drivers who don't know how to drive drunk

Fixed again.

[CMYKid]

yeah, this is really close to where I live so it's all over the papers here....anyway my firefighter friends were quick to point out that he was 'only a volunteer' ;-)

Smoking Gun has more photos, including this one. Apparently not actually being a woman hasn't stopped him from getting knocked up.

[Jawbone54]

Originally Posted by CMYKid 

anyway my firefighter friends were quick to point out that he was 'only a volunteer' ;-)

[Peter]

my eyes. burning.

[Atomic Rooster]

Hey, isn't that Britney's wig?

[Peter]

hey, isn't that britney?

[Sherman Homan]

Uh, is he "with child"?

He shouldn't be drinking...

[moonmonkey]

Perhaps his invisibility spray wore off.