[Kerrigan]

I've been in a few relationships before, each time I've ended the relationship because I was no longer interested in the other person.

But today I just got dumped by someone who I really liked. This is probably the worst feeling ever. I really feel terrible, and I feel terrible when I think that this guy had been wanting to break up for about a week now, and has been looking for new boyfriends in the meantime. It is terrible, and I don't know what to do.

How do you cope with things when you are dumped?

[imitchellg5]

There's always more fish in the pond. Getting dumped has happened a few times to me. I just have to get over it. Most of the time I am still good friends with whoever dumped me/ I dumped.

[Kerrigan]

What hurts the most is that my parents and friends often view my orientation as suspicious or disingenuous, so I try to prove myself through my other relationships. Getting dumped now makes me feel like I have to start all over again when it comes to proving myself as valid.

[wolfen]

Originally Posted by Kerrigan 

What hurts the most is that my parents and friends often view my orientation as suspicious or disingenuous, so I try to prove myself through my other relationships. Getting dumped now makes me feel like I have to start all over again when it comes to proving myself as valid.

I'm really sorry about your dumpitude. That really sucks. It's too soon for people to be doling you advice about how to learn from the experience. The best thing you can do is be with friends and family who love you and accept you. Just go out together, hang out, whatever.

[Rumor]

This may sound harsh but chalk it up to a life experience and move on. You won't be doing yourself any good by sulking and being miserable.

[macgeek2005]

I've only dumped people and/or been dumped by people who I wanted to be dumped by. So I can't exactly tell you that I know how you feel.. but i'm sorry, and I hope things work out for you.

[TheoCryst]

How long were you guys together? I've been dumped twice: once after about two weeks (and only because she dumped me before I had the chance to dump her), and once after about two years. Hopefully your relationship wasn't quite that long, cuz lemme tell you: that sucked donkey balls.

[Atheist]

Originally Posted by Kerrigan 

What hurts the most is that my parents and friends often view my orientation as suspicious or disingenuous, so I try to prove myself through my other relationships. Getting dumped now makes me feel like I have to start all over again when it comes to proving myself as valid.

Dude... if the only reason you go into relationships is to prove a point to someone else... your doomed to failure every time. Before you go into another relationship spend some time exploring yourself and figuring out just who you are. You cannot go into a relationship an incomplete person. It may sound blunt but it doesn't matter what your parents and friends think. Your life is just that... YOURS... not theirs.

[ShortcutToMoncton]

You know, for some reason I had to re-read that first post about 4 times before I finally figured out you were gay.

*peers sadly into empty bottle of Mount Gay Eclipse*

...I need a drink.

greg

[design219]

Originally Posted by ShortcutToMoncton 

I finally figured out you were gay. ...I need a drink.

I think that is irrelevant. Gay people have feelings too.

Originally Posted by Kerrigan 

I've been in a few relationships before, each time I've ended the relationship because I was no longer interested in the other person.

So, now you know how they felt?

Originally Posted by Kerrigan 

How do you cope with things when you are dumped?

I look back to my youth, before I was married, and remember having to cope with heartache. It was miserable at the time. But now, I think about that miserable time as wasted, because you always meet new people. You can't help it. And being miserable is not attractive. Life is too short to spend much time that way.

Take a couple days, then shake it off, and get back to being yourself.

[bgmark13]

suicide is always an option...

[Ghoser777]

That isn't very funny.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Kerrigan 

How do you cope with things when you are dumped?

I don't understand that question.


Anyways. From what other people tell me, the best thing to do is to realise that there's plenty of other fish in the sea, some of whom will have bigger boobs/willies* and nag less.

(* delete to taste)

[RAILhead]

I just took a dump, if that makes you feel any better.

[wallinbl]

It sucks to lose something you were attached to. This happens over and over in many forms - people move, people die, etc. You don't really ever get used to it, but time helps.

If you're feeling rejected or not good enough - don't. I'm serious. Relationships are about compatibility and everyone is different. The fact that you weren't the match for this guy has no bearing on whether you'll find a match with the next guy. It's not about finding the best guy; it's about finding the right guy. So being dumped is really only being told that you're not a match, not that you're not good enough.

[design219]

eHarmony #1 Trusted Relationship Site Move Beyond "Traditional" Online Dating

worth a try

[SpaceMonkey]

Originally Posted by design219 

eHarmony #1 Trusted Relationship Site Move Beyond "Traditional" Online Dating

worth a try

I don't think I have 29 dimensions to be compatible with.

Anyway, I've gone through rough periods after being dumped. I don't think it gets easier unless, like others here have said, you just get out there again. I would just spend some more time with my platonic friends, not necessarily look for another relationship, but just to get yourself out of your present state of mind. I was unfortunate enough to be dumped right around the time that I dropped out of grad school and was forced to move away from most of my friends, so it was kind of a triple-whammy.

[zro]

Hate to spoil it, but being dumped is by far not the worst feeling ever. It's actually not that bad.


Think of it this way: Do you really want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you? Say it out loud with me: **** No!

[anonymac]

Maybe you didn't give him enough anal to satisfy him, and someone else could.

[Chuckit]

Originally Posted by anonymac 

Maybe you didn't give him enough anal to satisfy him, and someone else could.

1. Judging from Kerrigan's previous posts, I would guess that is most definitely not the case.

2. Enjoy your ban.

[anonymac]

Maybe his rimming technique just didn't satisfy the guy then, and another guy's did.

[design219]

I'm sure you can find other forums where your crassness might be appreciated.

Go find them.

[imitchellg5]

Maybe stupid remarks don't satisfy anyone here.

[Graviton]

It could be worse.

You could have had your penis cut off and thrown from the window of a moving car.

[design219]

Originally Posted by Graviton 

It could be worse.

You could have had your penis cut off and thrown from the window of a moving car.

However, that might make the getting over it (being dumped) part easier.

[Ghoser777]

Hmmm... would you rather go the rest of your life without a partner or without your penis?

[ebuddy]

Originally Posted by Kerrigan 

What hurts the most is that my parents and friends often view my orientation as suspicious or disingenuous, so I try to prove myself through my other relationships. Getting dumped now makes me feel like I have to start all over again when it comes to proving myself as valid.

You concerned me a bit with the "prove myself through my other relationships" part Kerrigan. Your orientation is what it is. You don't owe anyone a "show" of solidarity through your relationships and worse; it's not fair to your partner.

You've likely been going through a few struggles considering the "orientation" issue alone, let alone trying to maintain a relationship which is difficult for anyone. For all I know, your ex-boyfriend could tell there was more to the relationship than simply caring about him and felt that your motives in the relationship were not sustainable long-term. This is bound to happen to you again.

A relationship for anything more than "because I truly care about this person" may not be sustainable long-term IMO. You've got to do this stuff for yourself brother or you may end up a lonely guy. Granted, it's easy for me to say as I've been married for 12 years, but I don't think our relationship had been sustainable had I let these external influences direct my desires.

[Jawbone54]

I also did the dumping every time until I was about 18. I kissed the girl goodnight in Atlanta, and 30 minutes later she was making out with some other guy that she just met. It hurt, and would have even if she hadn't cheated on me. It was good for me in the sense that I finally was on the other side of the table and had to learn to deal with rejection.

My wife and I broke up 4 times before we finally tied the knot (she was not the aforementioned girl). Each break-up was different, and all of them sucked. I can't offer any advice with obvious depth, but I can say that most of us have been there, and everyone's heart should go out to you. The trick (I believe) is to spend a little while pursuing things in your life outside of the relationship world. Focus on career, hobbies, expanding your horizons, and just having a bit of fun.

I think eBuddy made several really good points in his post, BTW. There's no need for me to repeat them.

[ghporter]

I'm very sorry you're so upset, and I know that right now it's hard to imagine your life as it will be. But that's where to focus; you are the captain of your ship as it were, and you can sit there on the shoals, or you can unfurl your sails and make for deep water and new shores. (Damn, that sounds pretty profound, and it just came to me while I was typing. )

Anyway, as others have said, being without someone who didn't want to be with you is not as bad as being with them and knowing they would rather be somewhere else. It isn't obvious right now, but it's true.

Finally, I've found through the years that I have "really cared" about a number of people, and that it's ok to have these people as friends rather than lovers. I think the thing that makes my relationship with my wife so good is that she is first and foremost my best friend.

Oh, and sorry for the harsh words others have deposited in this thread. Some people seem to have no hearts, or no brains, or both. Ignore them. I already .... What was I talking about?

[KeriVit]

I think there is some validity to Kerrigan's concerns about proving himself. For some reason, being gay is a little more acceptable if you are in a relationship of substance. Perhaps it makes straight people more comfortable.

Granted, people are much more acceptable now than even 10 years ago.

As for being dumped, yes, it sucks. But go ahead, take drive, cry, yell and move on, It's the best thing you can do. The right person will come along when you least expect it. Trust me, I know from experience. Fate is a funny thing.

[goMac]

Originally Posted by zro 

Think of it this way: Do you really want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you? Say it out loud with me: **** No!

That's the way I've come to think of it. For some reason it just wasn't working out for one of you, and as much as you'd like to fix that, you usually can't. And you don't want to be stuck in a relationship like that anyway. I held on like that a few times in high school and it never ended well, so I guess I had to learn that the hard way. One girl I dated was cheating on me, and I thought if we talked it out she wouldn't want the either guy anymore. Obviously, she kept seeing the other guy, and I broke up with her. But in hindsight it was all for the better. I don't feel bad about making mistakes either. I have being young as my excuse. I guess part of dating when you're young is realizing you don't have all the answers.

My girlfriend and I have actually broken up a few times just for a little bit. I dumped her once and she dumped me once. Both times we usually just ended up making a big deal over something little, and after a week we calmed down and worked things out. But we're important to each other. We've been together a little shy of two and a half years now.

[Tiresias]

Originally Posted by Kerrigan 

I've been in a few relationships before, each time I've ended the relationship because I was no longer interested in the other person.

But today I just got dumped by someone who I really liked. This is probably the worst feeling ever. I really feel terrible, and I feel terrible when I think that this guy had been wanting to break up for about a week now, and has been looking for new boyfriends in the meantime. It is terrible, and I don't know what to do.

How do you cope with things when you are dumped?

Find someone new.

[wallinbl]

My wife actually dumped me while we were dating. But, I needed it. Took a few weeks for us to get back together, but we've been married almost 9 years now.