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Sex with inanimate objects
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Clinically Insane
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Jul 23, 2007, 05:52 PM
 
One thing I don't understand is why some people have sex with inanimate objects...

Has anyone here done this? What was it like? Would you recommend doing this? What is your object of choice?
     
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Jul 23, 2007, 05:54 PM
 
I could get myself into trouble with a topic like this. I think I'll pass, thanks.
     
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Jul 23, 2007, 05:57 PM
 
Dakar: pictures of your brother's wife then, I take it?
     
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Jul 23, 2007, 06:00 PM
 
Jokes, dumbass, jokes.
     
Posting Junkie
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Jul 23, 2007, 06:00 PM
 
You took it? And did what?
     
Clinically Insane
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Jul 23, 2007, 06:01 PM
 
You were having sex with a joke book?
     
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Jul 23, 2007, 06:04 PM
 
I'd suggest using toys if you cant get her to be animated.
( Last edited by Kevin; Jul 24, 2007 at 06:36 AM. )
     
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Jul 23, 2007, 06:05 PM
 
Edit: Kevin beat me to it.
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Jul 23, 2007, 06:06 PM
 
I don't know if I have weird friends, but I (unfortunately) recall hearing many stories involving inanimate objects... Back in 2000, one of my friend told (publicly) that he had sex with a bed, by thrusting between the base box-spring and the mattress, while using a grocery plastic bag for "protection"... Ouch!

And I suspect that one former roommate of mine probably did it with every possible object in the apartment.. At one point I was even afraid of using my mouthwash by fear he used the circular opening for dubious purpose...
     
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Jul 23, 2007, 06:08 PM
 
I find it pretty normal for a gal to own a vibrator, but rather weird when a guy owns a "pocket pnssy" or any other such device.
     
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Jul 23, 2007, 06:11 PM
 
I think you can type pussy.
     
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Jul 23, 2007, 06:12 PM
 
I find it weird that Dakar has sex with joke books, but I won't judge him for this and I appreciate his honesty!
     
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Jul 23, 2007, 06:14 PM
 
I have a new found appreciation for you besson. You're like the token ugly chick. All my jokes look funnier in comparison to yours.
     
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Jul 23, 2007, 06:19 PM
 
This might get ugly...
Whoops...too late!
     
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Jul 23, 2007, 06:22 PM
 
Originally Posted by Dakarʒ View Post
I have a new found appreciation for you besson. You're like the token ugly chick. All my jokes look funnier in comparison to yours.
Dakar Strikes Back, now at your local IMAX theater.
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Clinically Insane
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Jul 23, 2007, 06:22 PM
 
Your face looks like a joke book that you have had sex with, Dakar3. I bet the 3 in your name represents the number of joke books you've had sex with, to the power of 3. So, 9 joke books in case you aren't any good at math (like you probably aren't, because you probably like to have sex with math textbooks too).
     
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Jul 23, 2007, 06:27 PM
 
I'll let that joke decompose by itself.
     
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Jul 23, 2007, 06:29 PM
 
My gf was asleep one time, but I wasn't... yadda yadda yadda, we both slept great afterwards.

Of course this assumes that a sleeping woman can be considered an inanimate object.
"Faster, faster! 'Till the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death." - HST
     
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Jul 23, 2007, 06:30 PM
 
Actually that was pretty much along the lines of what my baleeted comment was going to be.
     
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Jul 23, 2007, 06:30 PM
 
Originally Posted by besson3c View Post
Your face looks like a joke book that you have had sex with, Dakar3. I bet the 3 in your name represents the number of joke books you've had sex with, to the power of 3. So, 9 joke books in case you aren't any good at math (like you probably aren't, because you probably like to have sex with math textbooks too).
( Last edited by Rumor; Jul 23, 2007 at 06:39 PM. )
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Jul 23, 2007, 06:33 PM
 
*tilt*
chmod a+x /bin/laden -- Allows anyone the permission to execute /bin/laden
     
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Jul 23, 2007, 06:49 PM
 
Originally Posted by besson3c View Post
So, 9 joke books in case you aren't any good at math
Sheesh.
     
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Jul 23, 2007, 06:53 PM
 
I know someone who went to jail for allegedly having sex with his sleeping girlfriend. Did he do it? Who knows.
     
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Jul 23, 2007, 06:56 PM
 
I don't understand why anyone would need to use toys for their sexual needs. I know I don't. It sounds kind of childish to use a vibrator. Dunno, I think it's terribly unsexy to use sex toys of any kind regardless of sex.
     
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Jul 23, 2007, 07:02 PM
 
You know you need a girlfriend when...
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Jul 23, 2007, 07:05 PM
 
Originally Posted by besson3c View Post
One thing I don't understand is why some people have sex with inanimate objects...

Has anyone here done this? What was it like? Would you recommend doing this? What is your object of choice?
You could just ask us which Love Doll you should buy, you know. You don't have to beat around the...well...you know what I mean.

Anyhow, I'm sure someone on the forum can recommend which one is best.
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Jul 23, 2007, 07:06 PM
 
Originally Posted by goMac View Post
You know you need a girlfriend when...

you have 20+ post a day at the 'NN.
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Jul 23, 2007, 07:34 PM
 
Originally Posted by Kevin View Post
I'd suggest using toys if you can get her to be animated.
Like Stripperella? And since when is 3 cubed = 9?

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Clinically Insane
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Jul 23, 2007, 08:36 PM
 
You know, I sense a definite attitude with you guys. It seems that you think that ol' besson3c is just a big fat joke and not to be taken seriously.

Well, the jig is up. You guys can go on with your little jokes at my expense, but everybody can see who is really the adult here. The laugh is on you, because besson3c is a winner. You guys are just a bunch of troglodytes who need to think about the feelings of others.

Some of you have a lot of growing up to do.
     
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Jul 23, 2007, 08:45 PM
 
Originally Posted by osiris View Post
My gf was asleep one time, but I wasn't... yadda yadda yadda, we both slept great afterwards.

Of course this assumes that a sleeping woman can be considered an inanimate object.
Dude, a girl doesn't sleep through sex. She might have been passed out. If sex doesn't wake her up, you're doing something wrong.
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Jul 23, 2007, 08:48 PM
 
Originally Posted by design219 View Post
Dude, a girl doesn't sleep through sex. She might have been passed out. If sex doesn't wake her up, you're doing something wrong.
I can do it while I'm sleeping (my wife says I'm better at it when I'm asleep).
     
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Jul 23, 2007, 09:09 PM
 
Originally Posted by wallinbl View Post
I can do it while I'm sleeping (my wife says I'm better at it when I'm asleep).
You should ask her to wake you up. I think you might enjoy it more!
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My stupid iPhone game: Nesen Probe, it's rather old, annoying and pointless, but it's free.
Was free. Now it's gone. Never to be seen again.
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Jul 23, 2007, 09:19 PM
 
Is it time to zombie the Searchlight thread?
     
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Jul 23, 2007, 09:27 PM
 


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Jul 24, 2007, 12:38 AM
 
Originally Posted by besson3c View Post
Your face looks like a joke book that you have had sex with, Dakar3. I bet the 3 in your name represents the number of joke books you've had sex with, to the power of 3. So, 9 joke books in case you aren't any good at math (like you probably aren't, because you probably like to have sex with math textbooks too).
Clearly, you aren't very good at math either.

Lets say n is the number of joke books he has had sex with.

You said "3...represents the number of joke books you've had sex with, to the power of 3."
So, 3 = n^3.

Thus, n cannot equal 9, becase 3 ≠ 9^3. Instead, n should = 3^(1/3) ≈ 1.44225

Furthermore, he said "jokes." That means we might be able to say that he has had sex with a joke, but not a joke book per se...

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Jul 24, 2007, 01:38 AM
 
LINUX makes people bad at math.
PLEEEASE, OH PLEASE, OH PLEASE, OH PLEASE..........
     
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Jul 24, 2007, 06:39 AM
 
Originally Posted by Faust View Post
I don't understand why anyone would need to use toys for their sexual needs. I know I don't. It sounds kind of childish to use a vibrator. Dunno, I think it's terribly unsexy to use sex toys of any kind regardless of sex.
Oh I''ve done it, and it can be fun. You have to be secure with your sexuality however.. this wont work with guys that already have a insecure "manhood" as they will feel it's a replacement, or that they aren't adequate.

I wouldn't make it a NECESSARY thing however. That makes sex in public kinda hard with all that noise.
     
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Jul 24, 2007, 08:53 AM
 
Originally Posted by Kerrigan View Post
I know someone who went to jail for allegedly having sex with his sleeping girlfriend. Did he do it? Who knows.
hang on.... who was the whitness? unless she woke up, what a bad thing to wake up 2 :S

btw Kerrigan are u a rower by chance?
     
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Jul 24, 2007, 08:57 AM
 
Originally Posted by crazyreaper View Post
btw Kerrigan are u a rower by chance?
Is that what they're calling it nowadays...
     
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Jul 24, 2007, 09:31 AM
 
Loki: this isn't the math thread. It was just wide speculation as to how many joke books Dakar3 has had sex with, but all we know is that he did admit to having sex with at least one joke book. However you add or subtract, or whatever ^ is supposed to do, it always works out mathematically that Dakar3 is a joke book humper, and we're noticing here by his silence and lack of denial that this is true.

I feel like a detective who has just solved one of the world's great mysteries... Just like Nancy Drew, except a male version. I also did all of this detective work without my detective hat or pipe, which is damn impressive.

I'm for hire, if anybody else has a detective gig for me.
     
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Jul 24, 2007, 09:38 AM
 
Originally Posted by design219 View Post
Dude, a girl doesn't sleep through sex. She might have been passed out. If sex doesn't wake her up, you're doing something wrong.
Dude, re-read my post. She was asleep. past tense.
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Jul 24, 2007, 09:40 AM
 
Originally Posted by besson3c View Post
Loki: this isn't the math thread. It was just wide speculation as to how many joke books Dakar3 has had sex with, but all we know is that he did admit to having sex with at least one joke book. However you add or subtract, or whatever ^ is supposed to do, it always works out mathematically that Dakar3 is a joke book humper, and we're noticing here by his silence and lack of denial that this is true.
For all the truth in that, it's still an embarrassment that you thought 3^3 is 9.
     
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Jul 24, 2007, 10:30 AM
 
whose wife is on my hard drive with a sex toy? one of you fools....
     
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Jul 24, 2007, 10:49 AM
 
Originally Posted by d4nth3m4n View Post
whose wife is on my hard drive with a sex toy? one of you fools....
That was jc "Europe-had-their-time-it's-America's-turn-now-so-I-suggest-you-bend-over-and-take-it" adam's wife Debbie.
     
Posting Junkie
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Jul 24, 2007, 10:49 AM
 
...
( Last edited by analogika; Jul 24, 2007 at 10:51 AM. Reason: double post)
     
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Jul 24, 2007, 11:04 AM
 
Originally Posted by analogika View Post
For all the truth in that, it's still an embarrassment that you thought 3^3 is 9.
I know it's 27, I was just testing Dakar to see if he was paying attention.
     
Clinically Insane
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Jul 24, 2007, 11:04 AM
 
I once dated a Thai chick that could've counted as an inanimate object, when it counted.

Shame, she was hot.
     
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Jul 24, 2007, 11:10 AM
 
Originally Posted by analogika View Post
For all the truth in that, it's still an embarrassment that you thought 3^3 is 9.
I know it's 27, I was just testing Dakar to see if he was paying attention.
     
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Jul 24, 2007, 11:12 AM
 
Originally Posted by Cipher13 View Post
I once dated a Thai chick that could've counted as an inanimate object, when it counted.

Shame, she was hot.

Did she like to count? How high?
( Last edited by besson3c; Jul 24, 2007 at 11:43 AM. )
     
Posting Junkie
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Jul 24, 2007, 11:28 AM
 
Originally Posted by besson3c View Post
I know it's 27, I was just testing Dakar to see if he was paying attention.
Don't bother trying to pull a Zimphire here.

It's okay.
     
 
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