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Amusing personal ads
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Vacation.
Status:
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Since losing the use of the TV, Doof has taken to browsing the personals whilst eating breakfast in an attempt to understand how the average person lives/thinks.
Every so often, chance happens upon an extraordinary entry. Here's one today:
http://meetme.hotornot.com/r/?emid=OQB8B8K
I'm 47yo single loyal trustworthy physician not practicing investor now USA. Looking for a husband 21-34yo white single reliable monogamous decent has no children wants children with me only wants to talk to me all the time. Will make me a Priority.
Keywords include: "virgin", "white only", "professional degree only".
Click the link for a pic. Careful, all o' you 21-34 year olds, you might just fall in love.
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Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: A House of Ill-Repute in the Sky
Status:
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Clicking on that link has to be one of my bottom 5 decisions today.
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Isle of Manhattan
Status:
Offline
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Maybe Doofy's threshold of humor has been further reduced by forces not yet fully understood.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Vacation.
Status:
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Originally Posted by Dakarʒ 
Clicking on that link has to be one of my bottom 5 decisions today.
You are now so hopelessly in love that you'll pine away and not sleep until you meet?
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Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: A House of Ill-Repute in the Sky
Status:
Offline
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If my judgement were that poor, I'd probably be dumb enough to call that one of the best decisions I made today.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Vacation.
Status:
Offline
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The outlook doesn't look very hopeful for the lady in question, does it?
What, with her ridiculous demands and those who do actually fall in love with her, like Dakar, denying it.
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Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: A House of Ill-Repute in the Sky
Status:
Offline
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Our love is forbidden! by good judgement
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: The decaying ruins of Old New York
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by Doofy
Since losing the use of the TV,
What?
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Vacation.
Status:
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Originally Posted by shifuimam
What?
Yeah. It blew up. Didn't bother to get a new one because there's nowt worth watching anyways.
I'm not missing it.
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Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Caught in a web of deceit.
Status:
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Originally Posted by Doofy
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: The decaying ruins of Old New York
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by Doofy
Yeah. It blew up. Didn't bother to get a new one because there's nowt worth watching anyways.
I'm not missing it.
Oh, ok.
I didn't know how old you were, so I thought it might one of those "my parents took it away from me for a year" kind of things, like my nutter of a mother did to me. 
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Sep 2006
Status:
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Doof, if we all chip in a buy you a new TV will you promise to never, ever post such a link again? I know you have 512 channels and nothing is on, but even Spanish language soap operas have to be better than that. 
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Vacation.
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by Sherman Homan
Doof, if we all chip in a buy you a new TV will you promise to never, ever post such a link again? I know you have 512 channels and nothing is on, but even Spanish language soap operas have to be better than that.
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Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Oct 2004
Status:
Offline
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She looks like she could rip you a new one if you did talk to someone else.
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__________________________________________________
Play Food Fight! available free on the App Store!
Or how about a really weird (or stupid) game: Nesen Probe, it's also free.
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Posting Junkie
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: 888500128
Status:
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Originally Posted by Sherman Homan
I know you have 512 channels and nothing is on
I believe it's 15 channels of **** to choose from.
And a pair of Gohills boots.
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Sep 2006
Status:
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Posting Junkie
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: 888500128
Status:
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Moderator  Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: on the verge of insanity
Status:
Offline
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I used to laugh at the personals in the Stranger, an Independent Seattle paper, until I can across one with the title "Pee on me". I never looked in that section of the paper again.
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I like my water with hops, malt, hops, yeast, and hops.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: A House of Ill-Repute in the Sky
Status:
Offline
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Moderator Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: on the verge of insanity
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by Dakarʒ
Hot Carl wanted
This would be a good time to post a pic of a golgotha demon, but I can't search images at work.
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I like my water with hops, malt, hops, yeast, and hops.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: A House of Ill-Repute in the Sky
Status:
Offline
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what the hell is golgotha?
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Vacation.
Status:
Offline
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Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Vacation.
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by Rumor
This would be a good time to post a pic of a golgotha demon, but I can't search images at work.
Trust me on this: Don't do a Google image search on the words "sh*t demon" with the safesearch off. Just don't. No.
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Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: A House of Ill-Repute in the Sky
Status:
Offline
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This is all very disturbing.
Well done.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Vacation.
Status:
Offline
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And so far, nobody has figured out that the thread is about amusing personal ads and subsequently posted additional examples.
Good going.
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Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: A House of Ill-Repute in the Sky
Status:
Offline
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Moderator Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: on the verge of insanity
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by Dakarʒ
what the hell is golgotha?
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I like my water with hops, malt, hops, yeast, and hops.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: A House of Ill-Repute in the Sky
Status:
Offline
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A chocolate fudge dragon?
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Isle of Manhattan
Status:
Offline
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Dedicated MacNNer
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Illinois, USA
Status:
Offline
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Ahh, lyrics from one of my favorite Beatles songs...
Something I've found to be great fun is to peruse the match.com listings, trying to deduce how people's last relationship failed based on their self-written profiles.
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Moderator Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: on the verge of insanity
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by Dave N
Something I've found to be great fun is to peruse the match.com listings, trying to deduce how people's last relationship failed based on their self-written profiles.
Your either really twisted or really lonely.
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I like my water with hops, malt, hops, yeast, and hops.
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Administrator  Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: San Antonio TX USA
Status:
Offline
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The physician in question seems to be of serious expectations...and without a single local friend who could take a decent picture of her. Holy chrome! It's like she read the book on how NOT to take a self portrait, and then did exactly as it said.
Her ad also seems to indicate "control issues" which could translate into some "interesting" interpersonal relationship issues. "Yes ma'am. Rub your feet, ma'am? Hot tea, ma'am? Should I wear the black collar or the brown one, ma'am?" You get the idea.
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Glenn -----
OTR/L, MOT, Tx
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Baninated
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In yer threads
Status:
Offline
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How does she expect to have kids at 47?
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Vacation.
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by Kevin
How does she expect to have kids at 47?
I know.
Maybe she's telling herself that she's lonely and wants company, but in her subconscious she actually doesn't (scared or something) so she puts up all these ludicrous requirements.
I mean, how many 21 year-old blokes do you know who want to get it on with a 47 year old?
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Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
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Baninated
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In yer threads
Status:
Offline
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Well I am sure she is financially stable. She maybe looking to be a suga-momma.
By the sounds of her requirements she has been one before, and not liked the results. She wants an OBEDIENT one now.
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Senior User
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Status:
Offline
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She looks like Colin Mochrie, but quite likely isn't as funny.
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