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Dewayne2 · Sep 17, 2007, 04:10 PM

Hi. Long time reader, first time poster.

I found this in a fitness forum.

A guy, 22, wants to have sex with a girl who's 16. I'm the dad of a 1 year old daughter. I am worried about her enough as it is, but I cant think of how much I'd worry about this if this was my daughter. I'm angry about this guy doing this, am I right to be angry? What would you do if your daughter was in this situation?

(to make things equal, you can read the 22 year old guys side on his blog, Having Sex With A 16-Year-Old | Becoming A Pick-Up Artist)

Dakarʒ · Sep 17, 2007, 04:12 PM

Most interesting first post ever?

Dewayne2 · Sep 17, 2007, 04:15 PM

Originally Posted by Dakarʒ

Most interesting first post ever?

This is something personal to me, so I decided to post it to get your opinion on this matter.

stevesnj · Sep 17, 2007, 04:15 PM

I would definitely not allow my daughter to date a 21 year old, she is still legally under my supervision and even if at age of consent the parents can still file charges against a guy whom is 22. He needs to find someone 18 or wait until she is 18.

cheruman · Sep 17, 2007, 04:17 PM

22 year old guy wanting to have sex with 16 year old girl - Advice - Digital Spy Forums

Doofy · Sep 17, 2007, 04:19 PM

16? She's a late starter, ain't she?

theDreamer · Sep 17, 2007, 04:19 PM

Originally Posted by stevesnj

I would definitely not allow my daughter to date a 21 year old, she is still legally under my supervision and even if at age of consent the parents can still file charges against a guy whom is 22. He needs to find someone 18 or wait until she is 18.

Correct.
The parent (of the 16 year old) still has legal rights over the child and can control some of their life. While this may seem unfair, it is there for reasons like this where the child needs to be taken away from this 22 year old guy. Charges against him, filed by the parents, and punishment for the child (or a good communication with the child about what is wrong here).

Chuckit · Sep 17, 2007, 04:20 PM

Would you be more OK with a 16-year-old guy wanting to do her?

ort888 · Sep 17, 2007, 04:21 PM

In that instance. No, it is not a good moral choice.

When I was 19 I dated a 16 year old. But we were really only about 2 years and 2 months apart. She turned 17 after a month of dating. I didn't see much of a problem with my situation, even though technically we were breaking the law.

Laminar · Sep 17, 2007, 04:21 PM

22/2+7=19.

CheesePuff · Sep 17, 2007, 04:35 PM

if there's grass on the field, play ball!

Chongo · Sep 17, 2007, 04:42 PM

unless he is within 2 years of her age he is in trouble even if she consents
Ages of consent in North America - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Oisín · Sep 17, 2007, 04:45 PM

That standard creepiness rule thing [edit: in Laminar’s post] is, um, a bit off. A 12-year-old would have to date only people older than 13; and an 80-year-old could date all the way down to 47 (which I would count as gold-digging, in most cases).

So, for the question at hand. The guy is apparently not a total creep, stalking out prepubescents or anything like that. He had his qualms, and even tried to get out of it. The girl was obviously interested in him. If they’re both clear on the situation (are they having a one-night stand or going in for a relationship? Safety? All the practical stuff), and both want to, I don’t see it as wrong, morally.

Legally, it wouldn’t be a crime over here (I’m a bit fuzzy as to whether or not it would be really illegal, when parents can still file charges). Age of consent here is 15, and it’s only a punishable crime to have sex with someone under 18 if it can be proven that the over-18er “severely misusing a superiority based in age and experience seduces” [Penal Code, §223, section II] the under-18er.

What would you do if your daughter was in this situation?

Assuming I was aware of the situation (and assuming, of course, that I had a daughter)? I’d talk to her about it, advise her not to go through with it, and (if she said she was going to go through with it whether I liked it or not) ask her to think properly about whether or not she was prepared to bear the consequences of doing it (not as a threat, but as a way of making sure she actually knew what she was doing).

Of course, people come in all shapes and sizes, even at 16. Some girls might be very much ready at 16, while others are nowhere near mature enough.

(Of course, despite his otherwise relatively mature doubts about the situation, it doesn’t strike me that maturity is in general one of this particular 22-year-old’s defining characteristics. What 22-year-old goes to a mall with the declared purpose of checking out girls, calls it “doing day game”, and then goes home and writes about it on a blog named Becoming a Pick-Up Artist? Exactly, the slightly less than fully mature ones.)

Rumor · Sep 17, 2007, 04:53 PM

I'd stay away from it. Even if the parents consent, the DA could still file charges on the minors behalf.

Mastrap · Sep 17, 2007, 05:04 PM

It really depends. 16 is young, but I'd rather have my daughter dating a responsible 22 year old than a 16 or 17 year old asshole.

Dakarʒ · Sep 17, 2007, 05:06 PM

This guy is not me, so I vote no the sexing.

Mastrap · Sep 17, 2007, 05:07 PM

Originally Posted by Rumor

I'd stay away from it. Even if the parents consent, the DA could still file charges on the minors behalf.

The guy this is all about lives in Ontario. Here the law says:

What is Canada’s age of consent?

The age of consent is 18 years where the sexual activity involves exploitative activity, such as prostitution, pornography or where there is a relationship of trust, authority or dependency. For other sexual activity, the age of consent is 14 years.

Are there exceptions to this?

The Criminal Code provides what is often referred to as a “close in age” or “peer group” exception: a 12 or 13 year old can consent to engage in sexual activity with another person who is less than two years older and with whom there is no relationship of trust, authority or dependency.

How does Bill C-2 (Protection of children and other vulnerable persons), which was passed by Parliament in July 2005, address the age of consent?

Bill C-2 provides increased protection against exploitative sexual activity. It creates a new offence against the sexual exploitation of youth under 18 years where the relationship is exploitative of the young person, as evidenced by the nature and circumstances of the relationship, including the age of the young person, the difference in age between the youth and the other person, how the relationship evolved, and the degree of control or influence exercised over the young person.

Accordingly, this new offence provides youth with better protection against sexual exploitation by focusing on the wrongful conduct of the other person who exploits their vulnerability and not on whether they “consented” to be exploited.

Mastrap · Sep 17, 2007, 05:10 PM

Oh ****. Somebody lock this thread, it's spam

Cold Warrior · Sep 17, 2007, 05:13 PM

Holy sh*t. Good catch.

Chongo · Sep 17, 2007, 05:17 PM

lock it

Dakarʒ · Sep 17, 2007, 05:20 PM

Color me unsurprised.

Cold Warrior · Sep 17, 2007, 05:26 PM

and ban the poster. His user name was the starter on the same thread in another forum. I suspect it's the same dude going around.

Demonhood · Sep 17, 2007, 05:45 PM

(click above for 188KB wav file)