[MacNNUK]

Here's a good idea for those of us with no chimney, or fireplace.

Hang an old key outside, with tag, by the front door (one that doesn't fit of course) on Christmas Eve, with ceremony, for the children, so that Santa can get in to leave his presents.

The key will only work for Santa, if anyone asks.

I see you can buy specially made keys on ebay etc, but why spend money that can go on an extra present ?

Now you can have that iMac for Christmas !

[MacosNerd]

sorry but I have some bad news for you

[brassplayersrock²]

[osiris]

He was a fat pig anyway. All those cookies and whole milk.

My little nephew is at the age where he's being weened off Santa and in his place, being turned on to Jesus.
But Jesus is dead too, not that he was a fat pig 'cause I'm not sure if he liked cookies and milk. But they are both dead.

Now someone has to explain two dead people to a little kid.

[brassplayersrock²]

i don't even know what to say to that, so i'll put a fun link up. you can color santa going down a chimney

Christmas color pages - Santa Going Down the Chimney

[Dakar the Fourth]

Originally Posted by osiris 

He was a fat pig anyway. All those cookies and whole milk.

My little nephew is at the age where he's being weened off Santa and in his place, being turned on to Jesus.
But Jesus is dead too, not that he was a fat pig 'cause I'm not sure if he liked cookies and milk. But they are both dead.

Now someone has to explain two dead people to a little kid.

Why explain, when you can just add one additional, yet smaller, body to your list of things to remove?

Edit: I guess that implies I killed Santa and Jesus. Not a very well thought out post, it will probably come back to haunt me when I'm indicted for their murders

[osiris]

Originally Posted by brassplayersrock² 

i don't even know what to say to that, so i'll put a fun link up. you can color santa going down a chimney

Christmas color pages - Santa Going Down the Chimney

sweet!

[osiris]

Originally Posted by Dakar the Fourth 

Why explain, when you can just add one additional, yet smaller, body to your list of things to remove?

interesting... I like the way you think.

Originally Posted by Dakar the Fourth 

Edit: I guess that implies I killed Santa and Jesus. Not a very well thought out post, it will probably come back to haunt me when I'm indicted for their murders

I'd lay low until after the high holidays. Maybe a name change, new lair in some remote jungle somewhere.

[Dakar the Fourth]

Originally Posted by osiris 

I'd lay low until after the high holidays. Maybe a name change, new lair in some remote jungle somewhere.

Yeah, and when I return I find some third-rate arch-villian has moved in and painted the throne room mauve. No thanks. The trap door at the front door still works.

[Cipher13]

Originally Posted by osiris 

He was a fat pig anyway. All those cookies and whole milk.

My little nephew is at the age where he's being weened off Santa and in his place, being turned on to Jesus.
But Jesus is dead too, not that he was a fat pig 'cause I'm not sure if he liked cookies and milk. But they are both dead.

Now someone has to explain two dead people to a little kid.

Replacing Santa with Jesus? Talk about one step forward and two steps back.

[MacNNUK]

Originally Posted by brassplayersrock² 

i don't even know what to say to that, so i'll put a fun link up. you can color santa going down a chimney

Christmas color pages - Santa Going Down the Chimney

Nice, nice site too.

Never mind the kids, it's keeping me busy !

[osiris]

Originally Posted by Cipher13 

Replacing Santa with Jesus? Talk about one step forward and two steps back.

Yes, it is interesting in retrospect. My impression anyway,

[MacosNerd]

Originally Posted by osiris 

But Jesus is dead too

Actually he's alive, i.e., the Resurrection, Easter.

[Dakar the Fourth]

And the gates were opened
to a an argument

[Cipher13]

He was last seen hiding out on the ivory coast, so I hear. The Easter Bunny hasn't been seen since 1080 use became widespread. He is presumed dead, unresurrected.

[osiris]

So sayeth the flock.

[osiris]

Originally Posted by MacosNerd 

Actually he's alive, i.e., the Resurrection, Easter.

Well technically you have to be dead first in order to be resurrected.

[OldManMac]

My daughter took my grandson, who's 5, to see Santa last week. Instead of telling him what he wanted for Christmas, he asked him a bunch of questions, such as how he's going to get into their fireplace, which is a gas unit with a thru-wall vent, and if reindeer really talked, etc. He spent a couple of minutes quizzing Santa, and when my daughter asked what he told Santa he wanted, he asked to go back, as he was so busy asking questions, and conversing with Santa, that he'd completely forgotten to tell him. Luckily it wasn't busy, so he went back and spent another couple of minutes telling Santa what he wanted.

[Chongo]

[MacosNerd]

Originally Posted by osiris 

Well technically you have to be dead first in order to be resurrected.

You're right and he did die, but he's not dead (present tense) as he was resurrected on the third day.

[osiris]

Originally Posted by MacosNerd 

You're right and he did die, but he's not dead (present tense) as he was resurrected on the third day.

I was just jostling you - decades of Christian schooling here.

So he knows when you are sleeping, he knows if you're awake - he knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness' sake?

[MacosNerd]

I know and no offense was taking

[Dakar the Fourth]

Originally Posted by MacosNerd 

I know and no offense was taking

This place is really losing its edge.

[MacosNerd]

I know,

I suppose without Ca$h thing have been well too much like Mister Rogers' Neighborhood

[osiris]

Fine. Then everyone can just burn for all I care.

[SpaceMonkey]

I put lots of broken glass on my roof this time of year.

[MacNNUK]

Lets keep to the thread shall we....

[MacosNerd]

Originally Posted by SpaceMonkey 

I put lots of broken glass on my roof this time of year.

I thought a bear trap would work for me but Rudolf gnawed his leg off to get fee - go figure.

[Electric Zombie]

Originally Posted by MacosNerd 

Actually he's alive, i.e., the Resurrection, Easter.

UuNnng... brrrRaaaAaAAiiins...

[nonhuman]

Originally Posted by MacosNerd 

I thought a bear trap would work for me but Rudolf gnawed his leg off to get fee - go figure.

Unfortunately broken legs aren't so good at stopping reindeer when they can fly.

[MacosNerd]

so I found out

[nonhuman]

What you really need is cyanide salt licks. Gets them every time. Alternatively you could lace the salt lick with some sort of saliva-activated salt lick.

[Laminar]

Originally Posted by Cipher13 

Replacing Santa with Jesus? Talk about one step forward and two steps back.

Couldn't resist the bait, could you.
I'm doing my part

[osiris]

Originally Posted by nonhuman 

What you really need is cyanide salt licks. Gets them every time. Alternatively you could lace the salt lick with some sort of saliva-activated explosive salt lick.

that'll show 'em.

[nonhuman]

Oops. Actually I was going to go with saliva-activated adhesive. Explosives are certainly fun, but only for about 10 minutes and then you have to deal with the clean up (as evidenced in this video). With the adhesive you'll get days of entertainment and cleanup is a breeze!

[d4nth3m4n]

the guy has figured out how to hit 7 continents in 24 hours, do you really think he's been stymied by houses with no chimney?

heh, stymied.

[brassplayersrock²]

hmm, learned a new word. thanks d4n
stymied