[design219]

What have you committed? Bonus points for any felony confessions. (Oh, and please keep any really inappropriate confessions out of this thread)

I'm kind of a wimp in this category. About three speeding tickets over the years, and I was arrested, cuffed and taken to jail as a practical joke by my boss (he was good friends with the cops). In my younger days, I did pirate a little software. I don't do that anymore.

[Dork.]

I love to open things that say "Do Not Open" on them. I also took the tag off my mattress.

[abbaZaba]

I have 4 speeding tickets, 3 within a 3 month span last summer (except 2 were out of state and minor violations so it was just a fine, no points).

underage drinking
weed

I've never been caught by the cops for doing anything illegal except for the speeding.

[- - e r i k - -]

I spent a night in jail once for being drunk in public. Damn Christmas parties.

[IceEnclosure]

who else has swam from police?

[Dakar the Fourth]

Originally Posted by design219 

(Oh, and please keep any really inappropriate confessions out of this thread)

So, I shouldn't share that I once killed a grifter to get an erection?

[design219]

Originally Posted by Dakar the Fourth 

So, I shouldn't share that I once killed a grifter to get an erection?

No, that's fine.

[dcmacdaddy]

2 or 3 speeding tickets over the course of 20+ years of driving.

Got caught passed out at the wheel of a car in an industrial park
in suburban Orlando. I was strapped in the driver's seat and the
keys were in the ignition. However, the motor was turned off so
they could not charge me with DUI. (I got real lucky on that one.)

Arrested in NYC for Criminal Possession of a Weapon* (a supposedly)
"illegal" pocket-knife). Spent part of a night in jail. After arraignment
and court appearances wound up with a Disorderly Conduct charge
(a non-criminal charge in NYC) and one day of community service
spent cleaning up trash in the city parks of lower Manhattan.

*My real "crime" was being a smart-ass to the cops and refusing to
show them my ID when they started hassling me about sitting too
long on a park bench. After I was in cuffs and told I was under arrest
they found the pocket-knife and then told me that that was the reason
why they put me under arrest. As if the f*ckers have x-ray vision.
Anyway, NYC cops love to be dicks to people for no reason and they
don't take any gruff from anyone.



That's it.

[AKcrab]

I got taken to the police station and questioned regarding some fake ID's. Yep, I made em. My "best friend" rolled on me when he got caught using his in his hometown. (His hometown was about 4000 people, and he had graduated the year before.) Yeah, nobody is going to remember you after a whole year...

They took my statement, and I waited to be prosecuted.. Never heard a word.

[dcmacdaddy]

Originally Posted by IceEnclosure 

who else has swam from police?

In the canals of Florida? Rather take your chances with the gators than the cops?

[Stogieman]

He was probably drunk in a hot tub with 5 other chicks when the cops came to crash his topless party.

[- - e r i k - -]

Using linebreaks on a forum is also a crime.

[Dakar the Fourth]

I'm tellin' ya, yo, he's Tesselator.
that'd be scary if he actually was

[dcmacdaddy]

Originally Posted by Dakar the Fourth 

I'm tellin' ya, yo, he's Tesselator.
that'd be scary if he actually was

Dude, you are so high. This is the second time in recent weeks you have suggested I was someone else.

Look at my join date and you will see that I have been here a long time. (Heck, I lurked for over a year
before joining.) I have been "dcmacdaddy" in cyberspace since about 1997 and have been on this forum
as another user only once or twice. That was a satire account called "Zimphy" that I used to post mean
things about Zimphire/Kevin. As for using line-breaks in my posts, that's just my style. So, get used to it!

[coreythemagnificent46]

I was arrested on my bicycle while riding down one of the more busy streets. I had a bench warrant out for an unpaid speeding ticket. Cops knew who I was because I had filed complaints on my neighbors.. They impounded my bicycle and charged me the standard vehicle impound fees for the bicycle. Over 100 bucks. Needless to say I let em have the bike. The speeding ticket that i forgot about cost me 400 dollars or 10 days in jail.. I couldnt pony up the 400 dollars.. so 10 days in jail i spent.

[Dakar the Fourth]

Originally Posted by dcmacdaddy 

Dude, you are so high. This is the second time in recent weeks you have suggested I was someone else.

Look at my join date and you will see that I have been here a long time. (Heck, I lurked for over a year
before joining.) I have been "dcmacdaddy" in cyberspace since about 1997 and have been on this forum
as another user only once or twice. That was a satire account called "Zimphy" that I used to post mean
things about Zimphire/Kevin. As for using line-breaks in my posts, that's just my style. So, get used to it!

Relax. My seriousness is around .001%. It's just fun to compare you to one of those crazy internet dudes because you happen to put in those awkward page breaks.

[cjrivera]

Got a ticket for 104 mph in a 55 zone.
Wasn't very bright back in the old high school days...

[sek929]

Besides speeding tickets I've never been caught doing anything illegal.

Apart from drug possession and speeding I haven't broken any other laws.

[nonhuman]

I killed Nicole Brown Simpson.

[Dakar the Fourth]

Originally Posted by nonhuman 

I killed Nicole Brown Simpson.

Whatever you do, don't go golfing. OJ has been combing ever golf course in America looking for you, the Real Killer.

[nonhuman]

It's ok, we coordinate our tee times to ensure that we're never at the same course at the same time.

[Rumor]

I've had two speedings tickets from years ago that are no longer on my record.

Several Public Intox charges from when I was younger.

In 2003, I was the lucky winner of a DUI in Michigan.

Was thrown in jail overnight during the Mardi Gras riots in Seattle in 2000 or so.

Not much else I can think of.

[ThinkInsane]

While visiting a friend at her college once upon a time, we were walking through campus back to her place late one cold and blizzardy night. We came across a running but unattended campus cop car. I thanked providence for what had been provided and off we went. Left the car a block from her place with the lights running so it'd be easier for them to find. I'm a good guy like that.

[IceEnclosure]

I was awoken at 4am at a stoplight with my car surrounded by police. I maintained for the Roadside sobriety test and was allowed to go.

The aforementioned swimming from cops WAS in the So. FL canals. Even more, there was a giant mass of trees we had to get past, whose branches extended down into the water, so we had to submerge and dive under them. So gross. We got away, because that's how we do.

I really do have a list of offenses as long as I am tall, but they're more fun than terrible.

Less than a year ago I was arrested on felony charges while getting pulled over for a brake-light on my way to work. This was the result of a PAPERWORK FILING ERROR in court over 2 years ago, causing the computer system to tell police I was driving on a super-suspended license. In reality, I was 100% legal. I spent 11 hours in 3 different city's jails and spent $500+ to clear my GOOD name(obviously had lawyers tell me up to $2K). So, in this case, not a crime at all(on my part!) yet the only time I"ve spent in real jail.

Last tidbit, my friend was a police cadet when we were like 16, he'd get the scoop on all the dirt we'd do the night before - directly from the cops. Hilarious!!

[MacosNerd]

I ran a stop sign once and I got caught for such a serious and callous infraction. I've been hanging my head in shame since that day of lawlessness. I cannot look my kids in their eyes, they cry and ask if daddy is going to jail, I sob and tell them yes.

[design219]

I was expecting more digital piracy confessions by now.

[MacosNerd]

Originally Posted by IceEnclosure 

I was awoken at 4am at a stoplight with my car surrounded by police. I maintained for the Roadside sobriety test and was allowed to go.
...
The aforementioned swimming from cops WAS in the So. FL canals.
I really do have a list of offenses as long as I am tall, but they're more fun than terrible.
...
I spent 11 hours in 3 different city's jails and spent $500+ to clear my GOOD name

Passed out at the wheel, (and maybe DWI), running, err swimming from the cops, a long rap sheet .

Good name???

[mattyb]

Ah, good to see the moderators aren't afraid to post on this one (not like the Dark Confession sex thread eh?).

Before 18 (in Catholic boarding school)
Police visits for : buying booze, getting caught with booze on beach near to school, ditto with 14 year old girls (I was 15 or 16), breaking into girls boarding house at stupid o'clock in morning, fights with the locals etc.

Before 18 (out of school - I used to go home for weekends)
Police visits for : drunk, drunk on motorbike, speeding, shooting (with an air rifle) at trains, windows, people we (I was never the only guilty one) didn't like, poaching (illegal trapping/catching/killing of animals for the North Americans) fish/rabbits.

After 18
Taken in for my own protection (I smile at a bottle of Blue Lable Smirnoff at the memories) was the only night that I spent in jail. Even got a cup of tea in the morning. Arrested for quite a few brawls - never been in court. Never got a speeding ticket.

I've always considered myself pretty lucky, most of the people that I caused mischief with when I was younger have long criminal records now.

[IceEnclosure]

Originally Posted by MacosNerd 

Passed out at the wheel, (and maybe DWI), running, err swimming from the cops, a long rap sheet .

Good name???

lol!

My good name was in reference to that particular incident!

Swimming from the cops, I was 18 or so, I'm at least 30 now.

The stoplight sleeping incident was preceded by a 12+ hour work shift which was preceded by a bout of insomnia. It's just a fun story.

I guess I meant by "long list of offenses" that I had an adventurous youth, but I never really got in trouble. Never hurt anyone, and now I'm older and wiser.

[MacosNerd]

No problem - I just thought it was funny

[paul w]

I was an illegal alien for a couple years.

[mattyb]

Originally Posted by paul w 

I was an illegal alien for a couple years.

I KNEW IT. Which solar system?

[Yose]

I was pulled over for suspected drunk driving years and years ago. In reality I just made a weird lane change after bad directions from the drunks I was driving home. Anyhow, I was pulled over on a hill and as the cop started getting out of his car he just as quickly tried to get back in, a second later my car is hit from behind. The cop had forgotten to take the cruiser out of drive.

The kicker is that once he finally got to my window, he... albeit in a very embarrassed manner… asked if I had anything to drink that night.

A supervisor had to come by and make a report before it was over since it's considered a colision... blah blah blah. A few years later I would be getting a tow after an accident and the tow truck driver would tell me the story he'd heard over the radio of a cop hitting a pulled over VW Beetle, which was me.

Was good for a laugh.

[vexborg]

Pirate copying...

Got pulled over together with 8 friends in an old van going to a music festival - the police pulled us over due to the car being a bit low on the road (no wonder, we had all our tents, bagpacks and roughly 30 joints and some shrooms mixed in together with the luggage). We were ordered out, and a sniffer dog was called to go through our stuff.

Yep, everything was confiscated, we got fined (not a lot) and was told that if they caugth us again, our ticket to the festival would be confiscated...

Got away cheaply there...

[pooka]

Multiple counts of:

Filing false incident, inciting unrest, possession of a prohibited weapon, illegal modification of a firearm, assault and battery, gta, assault with a deadly weapon, knowingly fleeing an officer & criminal mischief. I can't even remember all the federal crap. Seemed more technical than anything else.

Oh, and this was just one summer.

[starman]

I procrastinated on getting my car inspected...for 6 weeks. Never got caught.

[design219]

Originally Posted by pooka 

Multiple counts of: ...

Looks like we have a winner.

[Dakar the Fourth]

Seriously, sounds like he's part of some proactive group.

[wallinbl]

I stole a car while in college (it was actually my friend's car and he was with me). His car had been towed even though it was legally parked (this is not all that uncommon in Gainesville). So, we waited until late at night and went to retrieve the car. We parked (in a different car) beside the fence and stood on the car to watch the lot for a bit. After feeling comfortable that there wasn't anyone there other than the occasional two truck that came to drop off a car, we jumped the fence and went and sat in his car and waited. We watched the tow truck drivers going out and how long it took the automatic gate to close behind them. When a truck was out of the gate, we started up the car, punched it and shot through the open gate and went home.

Spent the rest of that night and the next few days in a panic that we were going to be found out and that the cops were going to show up.

[ghporter]

"Too fast for conditions" was my only moving violation. I had a parking ticket for an expired meter, but I contested it (my 25¢ did not get me the 20 minutes it was supposed to, and when they checked it, the meter was indeed running fast). I can't remember anything else...

So my "wild, criminal past" has now been laid open for all to see. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

[Dakar the Fourth]

A parking ticket? Way to dig deep, Lone Star. Next we'll be hearing about how you came to a rolling stop at a stop sign in the middle of nowhere at three in the morning.

[design219]

Glenn never (really) fessed up in the other thread either.

[ghporter]

Originally Posted by Dakar the Fourth 

A parking ticket? Way to dig deep, Lone Star. Next we'll be hearing about how you came to a rolling stop at a stop sign in the middle of nowhere at three in the morning.

I never do rolling stops. I've seen too many people get nailed by cars that "weren't there" even in the middle of nowhere at 3 in the morning. Not "uptight", just paranoid.

And I fessed up about as much as I feel comfortable with in the previous thread. I grew up in the late 1970s-a lot of stuff that happened then went right past me, and some other stuff just sort of never occurred to me. But what I have done was...let's say "less amazing and odd" than what most other people posted as having done frequently, so rather than look like the last kid picked for baseball, I just stayed pretty quiet.

[Dakar the Fourth]

Originally Posted by ghporter 

I never do rolling stops. I've seen too many people get nailed by cars that "weren't there" even in the middle of nowhere at 3 in the morning. Not "uptight", just paranoid.

And I fessed up about as much as I feel comfortable with in the previous thread. I grew up in the late 1970s-a lot of stuff that happened then went right past me, and some other stuff just sort of never occurred to me. But what I have done was...let's say "less amazing and odd" than what most other people posted as having done frequently, so rather than look like the last kid picked for baseball, I just stayed pretty quiet.

Ah, Lone Star. You never fail to take a friendly ribbing and reply to it as seriously as possible.

[paul w]

By the way, with them custom stars he's got going, his custom title should be Sheriff or Law Man.

[besson3c]

indecent exposure a few times, that's about it...

[Laminar]

70 in a 55: warning
96 in a 55: $123 ticket, license suspension, didn't drive most of my senior year of high school
35 in a 25, while on vehicular probation 2 months after getting license back: warning
no registration: clerical error, $73 ticket, fought it and got it taken away
85 in a 70: warning
65 in a 35, no insurance, illegal tint, reckless driving: ticketed for 36 in a 35 ~$60


Besides that, I'm pretty straight laced.

[Dakar the Fourth]

Originally Posted by Laminar 

65 in a 35, no insurance, illegal tint, reckless driving: ticketed for 36 in a 35 ~$60

Was fellatio involved in this feat?

[design219]

Originally Posted by Laminar 

illegal tint

Ha! I remember when you started a thread on that car and I said something about the windows being way too dark. If I remember, you said they looked darker in the photo than in real life.

[Dakar the Fourth]

Well, the level of tint usually isn't the issue. it tends to be an all or none affair.