[besson3c]

This thread is about two other people, but since neither are members nor are they literate, I'm hoping we can forgo the rules for this thread...

If Rickey and Dork. would be agreeable, I think we should start placing bets and have regular contests and wagers as to whose baby will poop more times on a given day...

We'll have to set ground rules though, that if any bets are actually placed that Dork. and Rickey cannot feed their babies certain kinds of food that will cause more pooping (or overfeed them). Dork. and Rickey are both honorable men though, so I'm sure they will honor these official regulations.

Personally, I think that Rickey's baby can out-poop Dork.s', and I'm betting that he will tomorrow (Tuesday). We'll have to wait until Wednesday to find out whose baby was the winner!

[Tiresias]

I clearly foresee a scientific controversy here with respect to the somewhat moot definition of "out poop". Will this be determined by the frequency of the act, as you suggest, or will the argument that the total daily quantity of the waste matter is a more rigid definition gain support?

[besson3c]

I would say the successful number of poop attempts, regardless of how much quantity is produced. While you might argue that quantity is the one true measure of the greatest pooper, I don't suppose that we could convince Rickey or Dork. to make a habit out of weighing each poop session. Besides, you would have to subtract this total mass from the weight of the diaper, which gets both complicated and messy.

[Mastrap]

This schtick of yours is now moving into the black hole of funny where it produces anti-funny. Please make sure you never meet anybody who is actually genuinely funny, because the resulting explosion will surely rip the universe apart.

[Dork.]

This thread is poo.

(By the way, we've already had a few Poopsplosians™ which triggered seismometers in six adjoining states (which is impressive since New York only borders five states), so Rickey's in for a contest, should he choose to participoop.... er.... particpate!)

[Uncle Doof]

I believe it would be impossible to place a fair and accurate wager on said babies without knowing certain highly important variables.

For example: Which baby is exposed to more jazz?

Also, a clarification of the rules will be necessary. Does said poop have to be emitted from said babies' bottoms, or can it ooze from their fingers all over the keyboard of a personal computer running some variation of Linux?

These things are important to know.

[Dork.]

Our musical collection is stocked with titles that only a three-and-a-half year old would love, at this point. But my wife's personal music collection is chock full of show tunes and Indigo Girls albums. It is doubtful whether there exists a combination that can generate more poop....

[Tiresias]

Originally Posted by Mastrap 

This schtick of yours is now moving into the black hole of funny where it produces anti-funny. Please make sure you never meet anybody who is actually genuinely funny, because the resulting explosion will surely rip the universe apart.

Have you been reading the Wikipedia article on Thomas Pynchon?

More recently, book critic Arthur Salm has written that:

"the man simply chooses not to be a public figure, an attitude that resonates on a frequency so out of phase with that of the prevailing culture that if Pynchon and Paris Hilton were ever to meet—the circumstances, I admit, are beyond imagining—the resulting matter/antimatter explosion would vaporize everything from here to Tau Ceti IV."

I love that.

[Chuckit]

Uh…no.